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- MINIONS: Ooh.
- Pretty groovy, huh?
We begin with a basic kick.
[whoops fiercely]
Now you.
Okay.
No kicking.
This is a melon hammer.
It's a weapon.
This is Fred.
He is a dummy.
Never underestimate a dummy.
- Ha. Dummy.
- Bello, Fred.
- Now attack!
- [shouting in Minionese]
[cheering, whooping]
Stuart! Stuart!
Fred. [groans]
Doubt tells me
I cannot break this wood.
Uh-huh.
But doubt exists
only in the mind.
You know what I say to my mind?
Now you.
Uh, uh...
- Huh?
- Mm-hmm.
[sighs]
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin.
Okay. Clearly, we are not
ready for philosophy.
Let's just train.
- Ho, hey! Ho, hey!
- ♪ A-won't you take me to
- ♪ Funkytown...
- Ooh! Ho, hey!
Oh, whoa, whoa,
okay, okay, okay.
-♪ Town
-Yeah!
-♪ Won't you take me to
-ALL: Yeah!
- ♪ Funkytown...
- Hoo! Ha! Hoo! Ha!
Hoo!
- Huh?
- Rest up.
Tomorrow's going to be
even worse.
So, you came for the
Queen's crown, didn't you?
Well, you'll have to go over my corpse!
I am the Guardian of the Crown!
Do you think it's fun to
make fun of the elderly?
I've been here for decades,
waiting for someone to try
to steal the Queen's treasure!
What are you saying? It does not matter!
No, you will not do it!
Damn!
Uh, uh...
Okay. Go, go, go.
- [Minions gasp]
- Hmm.
Hey. Go, go, go.
- Huh?
- [Bob sneezes]
Hey, wait a minute.
[whimpers] Bello.
- Oh, no! [gasps]
- [yelling]
Trespassers!
Get 'em!
Hey, you. Come back here!
- Go, go!
- [henchmen grunting]
Kevin! Oh, okay.
Get your little butts back here!
Okay, now, you might feel
a little pinch.
Got you now.
Time to break some bones.
Any plans for the weekend?
Take five deep breaths.
[whispers]:
I'll be right back.
- [all grunting]
- Hey!
You like picking
on little guys, huh?
- Go take a nap, old lady.
- [henchmen laughing]
Old lady?
I am a master of the ancient
Shaolin art of kung fu.
Ah.
Huh?
Ha-ha!
Get lost! [chuckles]
If you come back
to our place, you're dead.
Uh, come-ay.
- Long live the king!
- King Bob!
WE LOVE YOU BOB BOB STAYS HERE
King Bob! Wait!
King Bob!
Yes, King Bob.
King Bob?
King Bob?
How dare you?
Come in.
I don't want you to take
it badly, but I hate you.
I thought I could get
over it, but I feel betrayed.
I think... Yes, I think we will have to separate.
And it's not your fault.
One moment. It is. She is 100% yours!
So, make yourself comfortable.
Make yourself very, very comfortable.
Because this is where you will spend
the rest of your meaningless lives.
Good! Let's do it!
Who is this handsome guy named "Herb"?
No, my name is "Blerb" and I'm the jailer.
Prepare for Torture!
Well, are you comfortable?
It does not matter! Here is the torture!
Woh! It's harder than I thought.
Off with the next one!
Welcome to Forca Town! Inhabitants... you!
Stop! It is not professional!
No laughing in the underground cell!
I want to see the tears and hear the screams
or I'll become... Wait a minute!
I have a stratospheric idea!
Look this!
The future king, Herb Sterminator,
please go up to prepare
for the coronation.
I hope you have learned your lesson.
And by the way, it was me, Herb, from the start!
I don't know anyone named "Blerb"!
you proclaim it, Scarlet
Sterminator, Queen of England!
Kevin!
Scarlet! Scarlet, my Queen!
Someone help me!
Force! Raise to two. One two!
One two!
Scarlet! Are you OK!
She tried to kill me!
Bad guys, this is no longer a coronation!
And an execution!
Get them!
Wow! Run away, friends, run away!
Come back, you!
You are mine!
Hey! I got one!
Find your tribe,
- and never, ever let them go.
- [cheeping]
Otto?
Si. [sucks teeth]
You better stay out
of trouble, kid.
I will lead a good
and honest life.
[gasps] You're alive?
Oh! [chuckles]
You just blew my mind.
How did you do that?
I cannot wait
to fake my own death
to avoid the authorities.
Shoot for the moon, kid.
Shoot for the moon.
[chuckles]
See you later, suckers!
Sorry, we're closed.
Whoa.
I just wanted
to thank you for this.
Worked like a charm.
All right, let me cut
to the chase here.
I need a genius mad scientist.
You want to come work for me?
No, I am done with villainy.
Off to happier horizons.
Goodbye, little chap.
Por favor.
Oh, all right, all right.
Fine. Stop with the face.
I'm in.
Want to see something cool?
Oh! Are you kidding me?
MINIONS: Big Boss!
Big Boss! Big Boss! Big Boss!
"Big Boss." I like that.
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