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Hey guys, take a look at this. Check
this baby out. Dug me a hole. [laughter]
>> Excellent hole, Joe.
>> Oh, no. No. My hole.
>> What? What? What is it?
>> JELLYFISH STING. OW. It hurts. It hurts.
It hurts.
>> Can we help? You want us to TAKE YOU
BACK TO THE HOUSE?
>> OH, it's like two miles.
>> Yeah. And I'm a little tired from
digging the hole.
>> Oh, damn. The jellyfish. Damn all the
jellyfish.
>> I got to do something.
>> Well, there's really only one thing you
can do.
>> What? What is it?
>> You're going to have to pee on it.
>> What?
Rose,
>> don't blame me. I saw it on the
Discovery Channel.
>> You know what? He's right. There's
something like uh ammonia in that that
kills the pain.
>> Well, forget it. It doesn't hurt that
bad.
>> If you want some privacy, you can use my
home.
All right.
>> No, Joey. We swear we'd never tell.
>> They'll never understand. [laughter]
>> We have to say something. We have to get
it out. It's eating me alive.
>> Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
>> All right.
>> All right.
[laughter]
I got stung.
Stung bad. [laughter]
I couldn't stand. I I couldn't walk.
>> We were two miles from the house.
[laughter]
We were scared and alone.
We didn't think we could make it.
[laughter]
>> I was in too much pain. And I was tired
from digging the huge hole. [laughter]
And then Joey remembered something.
>> I'd seen this thing on the Discovery
Channel.
>> Wait a minute. I saw that on the
Discovery Channel. Yeah. about jellyfish
and how if you
>> Ew,
you peed on yourself.
>> Ew.
You can't say that. You You don't know.
I thought I was going to pass out from
the pain. Anyway, I I tried, but I I
couldn't been that way.
So, [laughter]
That's right. I stepped up.
>> She's my friend and she needed help.
If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.
[laughter]
[applause]
Only uh I couldn't.
[laughter]
I got the stage fright.
I wanted to help, but there was just too
much pressure. So, so I uh I turned to
Chandler.
>> I mean, my mom never thought this would
work out.
She was all once a cheater, always a
cheater. [laughter]
>> Mhm.
>> Oh, I just wish we hadn't lost those
four months.
But if time was what you needed just to
gain a little perspective,
We were on a break.
>> Coffee house bet.
>> And for the record, it took two people
to break up this relationship.
>> Yeah. You and that girl from the copy
place, which yesterday you took full
responsibility for.
>> I didn't know what I was taking
responsibility for. Okay. I didn't
finish the whole letter.
>> What?
>> I fell asleep.
>> You fell asleep? [laughter]
It was 5:30 in the morning and you had
rambled on for 18 pages,
[laughter]
front and back.
Oh, and by the way, y apostrophe r e
means you are. Y r MEANS YOUR.
>> YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVEN THOUGHT
of getting back together with you. We
are so over.
Fine by me.
>> Oh. Oh, AND HEY, HEY, HEY. THOSE LITTLE
SPELLING TIPS WILL COME IN HANDY when
you're at home on SATURDAY NIGHTS
PLAYING SCRABBLE WITH MONICA.
>> HEY,
>> SORRY.
[laughter]
>> I just feel bad about all that sleep
you're going to miss. Wishing you were
with me.
>> Oh, no. No. Don't you worry about me
falling asleep. I STILL HAVE YOUR
LETTER.
>> WOW, that ripped.
That ripped real nice.
>> How many times do I have to tell you?
You turn and slide. You know, turn and
slide.
>> You don't turn and slide. You throw it
out.
I'm tired of having to get a tetanis
shot every time I get dressed.
>> Well, we're not throwing it out. I built
this thing with my own hands.
>> All right. How about we How about we
sell it?
>> All right. But you're going to have to
tell them.
>> You mind if we stick you in a different
cabinet? They seem ALL RIGHT WITH IT.
>> THIS is the unit for you, my friend.
Sturdy construction, tons of storage
compartments, some big enough to fit a
grown man. [laughter]
What? Oh, yeah. I got in there myself
once. My roommate bet me five bucks that
I couldn't. And then he stuck a board
through the handles and locked me in.
It was funny till I started feeling like
I was in a coffin.
>> No, you you can't fit in that thing.
That's not deep enough.
>> Oh, yeah.
If I can't,
I'll knock five bucks off the price of
the unit.
>> All right, you have yourself a deal.
>> Okay. [laughter]
See, I told you.
Sometimes I come in here just to get
away from it. [laughter]
>> Hey, a nickel.
[laughter]
>> Oh my god. [laughter]
>> What
are you all right?
>> Yeah.
What happened?
>> Oh man, he promised he wouldn't take the
chairs.
What the hell happened? HOW ARE YOU
LOCKED IN THERE? WHERE THE HELL'S ALL OF
OUR STUFF? [laughter]
>> WELL, THIS GUY came by to look at the
unit and and he said he didn't think it
was big enough to fit a grown man.
So, you got involuntarily? I was trying
to make a sale.
>> Oh, man. If I ever run into that guy
again, you know what I'm going TO DO?
>> BEND OVER.
WOW, THEY REALLY got you guys. Your TV,
the chairs.
>> Yeah, your microwave, the stereo.
>> Oh man, he took the five of spades.
[laughter]
Oh, no. No. Here it is.
[cheering]
>> Oh my god. What happened?
>> Oh. Um, Joey was born and then 28 years
later I was robbed. [laughter]
>> Oh. Uh, you know, I got an extra futon.
Dude, you don't have to brag. We got
nothing here. [laughter]
>> And wrap up all of your Christmas gifts.
>> No.
>> I uh Oh, I'll squeeze you fresh orange
juice every morning
>> with extra pulp.
>> Yeah.
>> No,
[laughter]
I got it.
>> You don't have it.
>> I so got it. There's going to be rumors
about this. There's no way to stop it.
Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know.
>> How do Monica and Phoebe know?
>> Oh, I called them.
>> And when they ask me what I saw, I can
be very generous
or very stingy.
>> Go on.
>> I can make you a legend.
I can make you this generation's Milton
Burl. [laughter]
And Milton Burl has
>> No, not compared to you.
>> Hello.
>> Hey.
>> Hey.
>> Hello, Chandler. [laughter]
>> I love you.
>> Hey, what's going on?
>> Oh,
>> no, he doesn't.
[laughter]
Two hours that lasted.
>> Hi guys, this is Josh. Josh, these are
my friends. That's Ross.
>> Hey Josh.
>> Hi
>> dudes.
>> So did you play in college?
>> Oh, I still do. Next year I hope to make
varsity though.
>> Ross, didn't you play uh soccer in high
school? Oh, no, wait, that's right. You
just organized their game schedules on
your Commodore 64.
>> Well, it's getting late. I got to get to
the game. So, I'm going to head.
>> Okay.
>> I'll miss you.
>> Dope.
>> Wow. Cute wood.
>> Very cute.
>> I know. Isn't he great? So nice to
finally be in a fun relationship. You
know, there's nothing boring about him.
And uh bet he's never even set foot in a
museum.
>> Well, maybe he'll get to go soon. You
know, like on a class trip or something.
>> You know what else is really great about
him? Oh, what is the word for an adult
who doesn't have dinosaur toys in their
bedroom?
>> Um,
>> what was that?
>> Monica knows. It's this dumb thing that
Ross made up to try to fool our parents.
It's a way of giving the finger without
actually having to give it.
>> I remember I cried the night you made
that up. This is the first time I
realized I was cooler than my big
brother. [laughter]
Well, I'm going to go get ready
for my date tonight. So, uh I'll just
head
You guys have any wrapping paper?
>> Oh, is it for my birthday present?
>> Fees, it was your birthday like months
ago.
>> Yeah, but remember you said you ordered
something special and it just hadn't
come yet.
[laughter]
>> Well, I have a call in about that.
>> Okay.
>> Actually, this is for uh Kathy's
birthday. It's an early edition of her
favorite book.
>> Oh, the Velvetine Rabbit. Oh my god.
When the boy's love makes the rabbit
real.
>> Okay, but don't touch it because your
fingers have destructive oils.
>> Well, then you better keep it away from
Ross' hair. [laughter]
>> So, this is pretty rare. How did you get
that?
>> Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to
a couple of bookstores, talked to a
couple of dealers, called a couple of
the author's grandchildren.
>> Money, that's so sweet.
>> Yeah. And what a great way to say I
secretly love you, roommates's
girlfriend.
It doesn't say that,
>> does it?
>> How do you think it's going to look when
you get her something incredibly
meaningful and expensive and her
boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
>> I did it. I finished it. I did it all by
myself. And there's nobody to hug.
>> Hey. Hey you guys, I finished the
crossroad all by myself. Hug me.
>> Yay.
>> Congratulations.
>> Thank you.
>> Hey, how'd the catering go?
>> Oh, it was great. The widow wouldn't
pay, so Phoebe yelled at her till she
did.
>> Yeah, I'm a hard ass. [laughter]
>> And I'm a wuss
and we should be partners.
>> Yeah, hard ass and wuss. We can fight
crime.
Wait a minute, Phoebe.
We should be partners. We should be
catering partners. I mean, think about
it. You're not working right now and we
have such a great time together.
>> Okay. I can cook and you can take care
of the money.
>> Yeah. Oh, it'll be like I have a WIFE IN
THE 50S.
>> UM, you should you should think of um my
work as wordless sound poems.
>> That's what I'm
>> Oh my god. late. [laughter]
[music]
[laughter]
[laughter]
He
>> [laughter]
[applause]
>> Boy, that that was
terrific.
[laughter]
Really
bitching.
>> Wow. It was so wound.
>> Really? I mean, really?
>> Yeah. I mean, you should play in public.
>> Oh, thanks you guys. That's Oh, I want
to I want to play you another piece. Um
Oh, I left my uh helicopter sounds on
another disc. I'll be right back. Okay.
[laughter]
>> Electrifying
infinite time.
You know, there's a Starbucks about
three blocks down. [laughter]
He's
>> so inspired. Look at him. Look at him
go.
[laughter]
>> [applause]
>> Thank you.
>> Hey, aren't you up next?
>> Oh, no. I'm not playing tonight. Why
not? [laughter]
I can't follow Ross.
Karen, that would be like those poor
bicycle riding chips who had to follow
the Beatles. Who? [laughter]
Oh my god, he's lost it. [music] He's
totally lost it.
[laughter]
>> What?
This is music that cannot get any worse.
There are rats in the basement that are
hanging themselves.
>> Thank you. Thanks.
Yeah, I lost it.
>> You know what? I'm not going to play
anymore. Would you
>> can you finish my set
>> after that? Yeah. [laughter]
>> No. I mean, if I can help.
>> Yeah. Like I could lose it.
What?
>> I played bad on purpose, guys.
[laughter]
>> Okay, so you were trying to play bad
this whole time.
>> Yeah. No, just that last song here for
Thanksgiving.
>> I know. It's sick. Why is it sick?
Because it's Richard's son. It's like
inviting a Greek tragedy over for
dinner. [laughter]
>> Hey, come on, Pete. You understand,
don't you?
>> Yeah, I could see where I'd be your best
shot, but no.
Sorry, honey. I think it's twisted.
>> Yeah.
>> What's twisted?
>> Me going out with Richard's son.
>> Ew.
>> Ew. Ew. Ew.
>> Sounds like a really bad idea to me.
>> Is he okay in there?
>> He's fine.
>> Hey, you know, man, if things work out
between you and Richard's son, you'll be
able to tell your kids that you slept
with their grandfather.
Fine, judge all you want to, but married
a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell
in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a
girl's wooden leg in the fire, live in a
box,
>> oh, he he can't talk right now.
[laughter]
>> Why not? What's going on?
>> Well, he's he's trying to show Joey how
much he means to him
>> by being in a box.
>> Joey had reasons.
>> They were three-fold.
Oh, well, uh,
you not being able to talk might
actually make this easier.
Listen, um,
[laughter]
listen,
I don't want to be someone who comes
between two best friends.
I just I can't stand seeing what this is
doing to you guys and I don't want to be
the cause of that. So,
I don't think we can see each other
anymore.
I'm going to go to my mom's in Chicago.
I'm going to stay there for a while.
I think this could have been something
really amazing.
But, you know, this is probably for the
best.
You know,
I'm going to miss you.
Goodbye, Chandler.
>> [laughter]
>> Open the box.
>> My little brother's married.
>> Guys, why didn't you tell me you were
alope?
>> Cuz it just sort of happened. You know,
we were at the courthouse. We having
lunch.
>> Wait, wait. Why are we at the
courthouse?
>> We were having lunch. [laughter]
>> Yeah. And then all of a sudden, we were
like, "Hey, you know, we're here. We're
having lunch. Let's get married." Right.
>> [laughter]
>> A year and a half ago, I didn't even
know I had a brother. Now I have a
sister, too. [laughter]
>> Oh, it's so great. Oh,
>> okay.
Okay. [laughter]
Stop it. Don't.
>> So, I'm going to get you a gift now. Is
there anything you need?
>> Uh, yeah.
We've been trying to get pregnant uh
pretty much ever since we got engaged.
Thought thought we'd get a jump on
things, you know. No one's getting any
younger [laughter]
>> because the thing is we um we're not
able to, you know, uh conceive, you
know,
>> and we've tried everything. We've seen a
bunch of doctors.
>> Yeah. And they and they say that that
our only chance to have a baby is that
if they take my sperm, her egg, and put
it together in a dish and then put it
into another girl. So, we were wondering
if you could be the girl that we could
put it into.
[laughter]
>> That's a really nice gift.
>> Did you do it?
>> Yes. Yes, we had the sex.
>> Uh-oh. It was bad.
>> It was fine, you know, but she didn't
agree with me as strongly as she agreed
with Joey.
She was more like, "Uh, I see your
point. I'm all right with it."
It was the first time. You know, there's
not always a lot of agreement the first
time.
>> Yeah. Not for girls anyway. Guys agree
like that. [laughter]
>> Look, you have to help me, okay? I mean,
I know what to do with a woman, you
know? I know where everything goes. It's
always nice. But I need to know what
makes it go from nice to my god,
somebody's killing her in there.
>> All right, I'm going to show you
something a lot of guys don't know. Ra
me that pad, please.
>> All right.
[clears throat] Now,
>> well, you don't have to draw an actual
Whoa, she's hot.
>> Now, everybody knows the basic arogynous
zones. You got one, two, three, four,
five, six, and seven.
>> There are seven. [laughter]
>> Let me see that.
Oh, yeah.
[laughter]
>> That's one
>> kind of an important one. [laughter]
>> Oh, you know, you know what? I was
looking at it upside down.
>> Well, you know, sometimes that helps.
[laughter]
[applause]
>> Okay. Now, most guys will hit uh one,
two, three, and then go to seven and set
up camp.
That That's bad.
>> Well, if you go to Disneyland, you don't
spend the whole day on the matter horn.
>> Well, you might if we're anything like
seven.
>> All right. Uh, the important thing is to
take your time. You want to hit them all
and you want to mix them up. You got to
keep them on their toes.
>> Toe toes.
[laughter]
>> Yeah. For some people. [laughter]
All right. [clears throat] You could uh
start out with a a little one, a two, a
one, two, three, a three,
a five,
a four, a three, two, two, a two, four,
six, two, four, six, four, two, two,
four, seven, [laughter]
five, seven, six, seven, seven,
Seven.
Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven.
Seven. SEVEN.
>> GENTLEMEN, you're up first.
>> Okay. Okay. You have 30 seconds.
The lightning round begins. Stop it.
[laughter]
>> Now, what was Monica's nickname when she
was a field hockey goalie?
>> BIG FAT GOALIE.
>> CORRECT. [laughter]
RACHEL CLAIMS this is her favorite
movie.
>> Dangerous leaison.
>> Correct. Her actual favorite movie is
>> Weekend of Bernie.
>> Correct.
[laughter]
>> In what part of her body did Monica get
a pencil stuck at age 14?
>> Who?
Ew. No, [laughter]
>> her ear.
All right. Monica categorizes her
towels. How many categories are there?
>> Everyday use. Fancy
>> guest. Fancy guest.
>> Two seconds.
>> 11.
>> 11. Unbelievable. 11 is correct.
>> All right, that's four for the guys.
LADIES, YOU'RE UP.
>> ALL RIGHT. COME ON.
[laughter]
>> 30 seconds on the clock. Five correct
questions wins the game. The lightning
round begins now. What is Joey's
favorite food?
>> Sandwiches.
>> Correct.
>> Chandler was how old when he first
touched a girl's breast?
>> 14.
>> No, 19.
>> Thanks, man. [laughter]
>> Joey had an imaginary childhood friend.
His name was
>> Maurice.
>> Correct. His profession was
>> Space Cowboy.
>> Correct.
[laughter]
>> What is Chandler Bing's job?
Oh gosh. This has something to do with
numbers and processing. Well, it carries
a briefcase.
>> 10 seconds. You need this or YOU LOSE
THE GAME.
>> IT'S UM IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH
TRANSPONDING. OH. OH. OH. He's a trans
trans monster.
[laughter]
>> That's not even a word.
I can get this. I can get this.
>> [applause]
[laughter]
>> Can't find garbage bags.
>> Oh, well, I think I saw some in here.
[screaming]
[laughter]
>> What is it?
>> I don't know, but maybe if we keep that
drawer shut, it'll die.
>> We're living here.
[laughter]
What? What? What is it?
>> Did you see THE SIZE OF THE CLOSETS?
[laughter]
>> I can't believe we live here.
>> Okay, it's ready.
Come on.
>> What's ready?
>> Just come.
>> Oh my god.
Wow.
>> Hey, beautiful. [gasps]
>> Oh, did you what did you work for two
days straight?
>> Pretty much. [laughter]
>> What What do you think of the floor?
>> I don't know. It looks the same.
>> You used to have carpet.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> So, I I made snacks.
>> Please just hang out. Okay. I'm I'm just
going to rest my eyes for just a little
bit.
>> Come on. Do you want us to uh come back
later?
>> Oh, no, no, no. Stay, stay, stay. Just
keep talking.
I am always the hostess.
>> I'm just getting out of a very serious
relationship.
>> I know. And I'm just getting out of a
marriage. I mean, talk about meant to
be,
>> right? But I just think this is
happening too soon.
>> Oh, too soon. Too.
Face it, honey. I am not letting you get
away this time.
>> I hear you.
[laughter]
>> But unfortunately,
my company is transferring me overseas.
[laughter]
>> Oh no.
Where too?
To Paris.
>> No, no, not not Paris.
>> Oh, to London. Oh, Rome. Vienna. Oh,
Barcelona.
>> Okay. Could you just stop talking for a
second?
>> Yemen.
>> That's right. Yes, I'm being transferred
to Yemen.
>> When?
>> I don't know exactly.
>> Well, I will just have to soak up every
ounce of Chandler Bing until that moment
comes. [laughter]
>> But I do know it's sometime tomorrow.
You know, uh, you really didn't have to
help me pack.
>> Oh, well, when you said all you were
going to be doing between now and the
time you leave is packing, you really
didn't leave me much choice, did you?
>> Well, I thought I did, but I I guess I
did not.
>> Hey, what's going on?
>> Oh, I'm packing. You know, I'm packing
cuz I'm moving to Yemen tomorrow.
[laughter]
>> Thanks for telling me.
I'm going to pretend moving to Yemen.
Okay. It's the only way I can get rid of
her.
>> Oh, good one.
>> And Yemen? That actually sounds like a
real country. [laughter]
>> Hey, Chandler, come on. I'm going to
show you how to roll up your underwear
and stuff it in your shoes. It's a real
space saver.
>> Yeah. No, I do that cuz it makes me look
taller. [laughter]
>> Okay, Chandler, come on.
>> Okay, Joey, trade lies with me.
>> Nope.
You know, you really didn't have to take
me to the airport.
>> Oh, please. Every moment is precious.
You know, besides, somebody had to ride
in that other taxi with the rest of your
luggage, and your friends don't seem to
care very much that you're leaving.
>> Well, we're not really that close.
Okay. So, I guess this is uh you know,
goodbye then.
>> Oh, no. No, it's not goodbye. I'm not
leaving until you get on that plane.
>> Okay. Well, I guess just wait here then.
[laughter]
>> Hi. I need a fake ticket to Yemen.
>> One ticket to Yemen.
>> Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just need
I just need a pretend ticket.
>> I'm sorry, sir. I don't understand.
>> Okay. What would you give to a kid if
you wanted a ticket to play with?
>> Are you traveling with a child?
[laughter]
>> No.
>> You know what? She's going to think that
I'm handing you a credit card, but what
I'm really going to do is hand you a
library card.
>> Sir, a ticket to Yemen is $2,100, and we
don't take library cards. What's the
matter? Is something wrong? Do you have
to stay? American
Express.
>> 64 to Yemen.
>> Well, I guess I got to go.
>> Oh, my bingling.
>> I'll wait for you. Do you even know how
long you're going to be gone?
>> Well, just until we find an energy
source to replace fuel.
>> Oh, well, I'll write you every day.
15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
>> Okay. Goodbye.
Goodbye.
>> Chandler.
>> Nope.
>> Chandler.
>> Janice, there you are. There you are. I
had to have one last kiss. And and also
also you said you were going TO LEAVE
RIGHT AFTER I GOT ON THE PLANE.
>> NO, NO, I want to see you take off.
>> Well, then I guess I'm going to Yemen.
I'm going to Yemen. [laughter]
>> When we get to Yemen, can I stay with
you?
>> Go first.
>> Okay.
>> Okay.
Welcome to America.
>> Oh my gosh.
>> Two in a row. You got to use your
tongues now.
[laughter]
>> Emily,
>> what are the odds? What are the odds?
Okay, that that's enough, you know. Let
let's let let someone else play.
[laughter]
>> If you didn't want to play, then why'd
you come to the party?
>> Cool him. But you came to tell him you
love him. I knew it. I was right. I'm
right. Right. [laughter]
I'd really rather talk to him.
>> Do you have any idea where he is?
[laughter]
Ross, are you there?
Ross, I don't know if you can hear this,
but I'm going to talk anyway. Uh, I'm in
the States with your sister and your
friends, and it's all over with Colin.
I came here to tell you that, and to
tell you what, yes, Joey, you can have
all the chocolate you want. Just take
it.
I
>> I came here to tell you
that I love you.
>> I love you, too. I'm I'm going to call
you right now from the phone booth. You
can't hear me.
>> So, I decided I'm definitely going to go
with either Joey or Chandler.
>> Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. What? You got to pick
Joey.
>> I mean, name one famous person named
Chandler.
>> Raymond Chandler. Someone you didn't
make up.
>> There are no famous Joey's except for
Joey Barafuko.
>> Yeah, that guy really hurt us.
>> Well, how about a compromise then? Okay.
What if it's, you know, Chenoi?
>> Okay, Joey. Come on, think about it.
First of all, he'll never be president.
I mean, there's never going to be a
President Joey.
[laughter]
>> All right, look, man. I don't want to
bring this up, but Chandler is the
stupidest name I ever heard in my life.
It's not even a name. It's barely even a
word. Okay? It's kind of like
chandelier, but it's not.
All right. It's a stupid stupid noname.
[laughter]
Wow. You're
you're right. I have a horrible horrible
name.
[laughter]
I'm sorry, man. I didn't I'm I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
>> So, I guess it's Joey then. I mean,
>> I am sorry about what I said.
>> Nope. Nope. You're right. It is a
ridiculous name. [laughter]
>> It's not that bad.
>> Yes, it is.
>> From now on, I have no first name.
[laughter]
>> So, you just Bing.
I have no name.
All right. So, what are we supposed to
call you?
>> Okay. Uh, for now, temporarily, you can
call me
Clint.
[laughter]
>> No way. Are you cool enough to pull off
Clint?
>> Okay. So, what name am I cool enough to
pull off?
>> Um, Jean.
>> It's Clint. It's Clint. [laughter]
>> See you later, Jean.
>> Hi, Jean.
It's clicked.
>> Clint,
>> what's up with Jean?
>> Drum roll. [laughter]
>> Okay. Okay. All right.
Help. Am I a Mark or a John? [laughter]
>> You're not tall enough to be a Mark,
but you might make a good Barney. All
right, look. I am serious. Okay,
tomorrow at 3:30, I'm going down to the
courthouse.
>> You're actually going through with this?
>> Hey, look. This name has been holding me
back my entire life, okay? It's probably
why kids picked on me in school and why
I never do well with women. So, as of
4:00 tomorrow, I'm either going to be
Mark Johnson or John Marson.
>> You've got problems because of you, not
your name. [laughter]
>> This has got to stop. Chandler is a
great name. In fact,
yes.
I'm I'm sorry. I know you really wanted
me to name the baby Joey, but So, I'm
I'm gonna I'm going to name the baby
Chandler.
[laughter]
>> Really?
>> Yeah. But you have to keep the name,
too.
>> Okay. Thanks.
>> Okay.
>> You want to hug it out?
>> Yeah.
>> Yay.
>> Yay. Oh, yay. Okay. I got to go tell
Frank and Alice right now.
Bye, Feebs.
>> Okay. Bye.
[laughter]
>> Bye.
>> Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are
going out to dinner with Ross and Emily,
and I think that's I think that's really
cool.
>> Yeah, Ra, I think you're handling that
really well.
>> Handling it? What do you mean handling
it? There's nothing to handle. You know,
maybe I would have a problem with this
if it wasn't for me and Joshua.
>> You know, they're not going to get
married anyway.
>> What?
>> Come on. They rushed into this thing so
fast, it's ridiculous. I mean, they're
going to be engaged for like what, a
year, and somewhere along the way, one
of them is going to realize what they've
done, and they're going to call the
whole thing off. I'm telling you, you're
going to be dancing at my wedding before
you're dancing at theirs.
>> Yeah. Well, I don't dance at weddings.
>> Why not?
>> Because weddings are a great place to
meet women. And when I dance, I look
like this.
>> [laughter]
>> Hey man. Hey. [laughter]
>> So, what are you guys doing four weeks
from today?
>> Nothing.
>> Nothing.
>> I am. [laughter]
>> Free.
>> Great. Because Emily and I are getting
married in a month.
>> What?
>> What?
>> Yep.
>> In a month.
>> Yeah.
>> You mean you mean 30 days? Yeah.
>> From now.
>> Yeah.
>> That's great.
>> I bet you anything he's going to call
you again.
>> Yeah, maybe. But, you know, I don't
think I even care.
I don't think he's the one I'm sad
about.
You know, I know that I said I am
totally okay with Ross getting married,
but as it turns out, I don't think I am
handling it all that well.
Yeah, maybe.
>> And and I'm just trying to figure out
why.
>> Any luck?
>> Well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know how
Ross and I have always been on again,
off again, on again, off again.
I guess I just figured that somewhere
down the road we would be on again
again.
>> You know what? I think we all did.
>> Hey.
>> Hey. Hey.
>> [laughter]
>> So,
>> got us reservations for Sunday night.
Okay. How about Ernie at 9:00?
>> Yeah. Well, you uh better make it for 3.
>> Oh, see I I don't know if we're going to
be hungry at 3.
[laughter]
Three people. Joshua's not going to be
there.
>> What happened?
>> Um well, I think I think he broke up
with me.
>> No. Why?
>> Well, apparently he scares easy.
[laughter]
>> I'm I'm sorry.
>> It's okay.
>> Sometimes
things don't work out the way you
thought they would.
>> Come here.
>> Oh, hey. Don't you have to go pick up
Emily?
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Are you okay?
>> Yeah. I got my girls.
>> Okay.
>> Hey, you know what might cheer you up?
What?
>> You know, I got to tell you, this really
does put me in a better mood. [laughter]
I wish there was a job where I could
wear this all the time.
Maybe someday there will be. [laughter]
>> Oh god, that's Chandler. He's going to
come by and borrow some candles for his
big date.
>> Oh, okay.
>> No, no, Rachel, don't get it. See us.
>> No. Yeah, the groom cannot see the
bride. You're not going to marry
Chandler. Not after this.
[laughter]
>> Okay, guys. Just relax.
>> I do.
[cheering]
>> I got to go.
It's just that now that they're in me,
it's like it's like I know them, you
know, and and
it's just not it's not going to be easy
when you know these little babies have
to go away.
>> I know, sweetie.
But it's not like you're not going to
have anything. I mean, you're going to
have nieces and nephews. In some ways,
that's even better.
>> Yeah. Okay.
>> No, really. Really, Febs? I mean, you're
not going to be the one worrying about
saving for college or yelling at them
when they're bad, you know, or deciding
to put them on rolin when they just
won't calm down,
you know? You're going to be the one
that they come to when they want to run
away from home and the one they talk to
about sex. You just get to be cool Aunt
Phoebe.
>> Cool Aunt Phoebe.
>> I am pretty cool.
>> Oh,
>> yeah. And you know what else?
>> Oh my god. Are they going to love you?
>> They are going to love me.
>> Thanks you guys
>> again.
>> Sweetie,
>> thanks.
>> Oh, what? Oh god. Just kidding.
>> What? Oh my god. Got you again. You're
so easy.
>> What do you think? Well, I'm not going
to have to buy that I'm with stupid
t-shirt anymore.
Well, I like
>> There you go.
>> All right. Look, you're not really going
to buy that, are you? Don't you think
you've embarrassed me enough for one
day?
>> Oh, I embarrass you?
>> How can I answer that when I'm
pretending I don't know you? [laughter]
>> He's just jealous. You'll fit right in.
All Londoners wear them.
>> Oh, really? Then how come no one here
anywhere is wearing one?
>> They're all tourists.
>> All right. Look, if you insist on
wearing that in public, you know, you're
going to spend the rest of the afternoon
all by yourself.
Huh?
[laughter]
>> You going to make me choose between you
and the hat?
>> I choose the hat.
>> Good choice. Thanks.
>> Okay, look. [laughter] All right, that's
it. Okay, I'm out of here. I'm not going
to be embarrassed anymore.
>> Was hammered. Okay, there's no way that
you look like Ross's mother. [laughter]
>> Then why would he say it?
>> Because he's crazy. Okay. He came up to
me earlier and thanked me for my very
moving performance in Titanic.
[laughter]
>> My mother's right. Never going to get
married.
>> You know what that is?
>> Who wouldn't want you?
>> Please. I'm a single mom with a
30-year-old son.
>> I'm getting married today. [screaming]
[laughter]
>> Morning, Ross. I'm getting married
today.
>> Yeah, you are.
>> You think you knew I was here?
[cheering]
[applause]
>> Well, I've I've never done that with you
before. [laughter]
>> Nope.
>> So, uh, how are you? How you how you you
okay? [laughter]
>> Yep. Yep. You
>> Oh, yes. Yes. Uh-huh. [laughter]
you.
>> We did you.
>> Well,
I better get going.
>> Oh, yeah. Absolutely. [laughter]
>> Could you not look?
>> I don't want to look.
>> Hello.
>> Hey, where the hell have you been? Hey,
I spent the night out. I met this cute
bridesmaid. She is so
>> I I don't want to hear about her.
>> A thieves. You know, you're still my
number one girl. [laughter]
>> No, no, we have an emergency. Okay.
Rachel's coming to London.
>> Oh, great.
>> It's not great. No, she's coming to tell
Ross that she loves him.
>> But he loves Emily.
>> I KNOW THAT. [laughter]
You have to stop her. She's going to
ruin the wedding. Okay.
>> Okay. So then I've done my part. Okay.
It's your responsibility now. The burden
is off me. Right.
>> Right.
>> So tell me about this girl. [laughter]
>> Hey, [music] have you seen Monica?
>> I'm not seeing Monica.
[laughter]
>> What?
>> What?
>> Look, we we got to find her. Phoebe just
called. Rachel's coming to tell Ross she
loves him. Oh my god.
>> I know. That's why we got to find
Monica. Do you know where she is?
>> No. Okay. What's with the third degree?
WHY DON'T YOU SHINE A LIGHT IN MY EYES?
>> FRIENDS, family are gathered to
celebrate here today. The joyous union
of Ross and Emily.
May the happiness we share with them
today be with them always. Now, Emily,
repeat after me. I Emily
>> I Emily
>> take thee Ross
>> take thee Ross
>> as my lawfully wedded husband in
sickness and in health till death parts
us.
>> as my lawfully wedded husband in
sickness and in health until death parts
us.
>> Now Ross,
repeat after me. I Ross.
>> I Ross
>> take thee Emily.
>> Take thee Rachel.
>> [cheering]
>> Emily. [applause]
[laughter]
Emily.
Shall I go on?
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