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Chandler Chandler I saw what you were
doing through the window I saw what you
were do to my sister now get out here
well listen we had a good run you know
what was it four five months I mean
that's more than most people have in a
lifetime so goodbye take care bye-bye
then what are you doing oh I'm going on
the
lamb come on CH come on I can handle
Ross Hold On
hey Ross what's up
bro
what the hell are you doing hey what's
what's going on well I think I think
Ross knows about me and
Monica dude he's right
there I thought you were my best friend
this is my sister my best friend and my
sister I I cannot believe this look
we're not just messing around I love her
okay I'm in love with
her I'm so sorry that you had to find
out this
way sorry but it's true I I love him
too my best friend and my
sister I cannot believe
this oh I'm sorry you you guys want to
probably get some hugs in too huh big
news no that's okay we've actually known
for a
while what what what you guys knew you
you all knew and you didn't tell me Well
Ross we were worried about you okay we
didn't know how you were going to
react you were worried about
me you didn't know how I was going to
[Applause]
okay all right what do you say we all uh
clear out of here and let these two love
birds get back down to
business hey hey hey I'm just talking
here he he's the one doing your
sister I'm
pregnant
Ross
Ross okay whenever you're
[Laughter]
ready and you're the father by the way
but you
got can I get you some water I'm good
I'm
good Ross there is no pressure on you
okay I mean you can be as involved as
you
want yeah I uh I'm just I don't know I
don't
understand um how this
happened we we used the condom I know I
know but you know condoms only work like
97 % of the time what
what
what well they should put that on the
box they do no they
[Laughter]
don't well they should put it in huge
block
letters Okay Ross come on let's just
forget about the condom well I may as
well
have listen you know what I was really
freaked out too when I hey I'm I freaked
out I'm indignant as a
consumer you know what let's let's talk
later no no I want to talk now okay I in
fact I want to talk to the
president of the condom company okay you
know what maybe I should come back okay
yeah a press
one hey I'm here hi oh oh my God you
like it oh my God it's my new Apothecary
table pH is going to be here any second
she cannot see this oh why not she'll
she'll love it it's the real thing I got
it at Pottery
Barn I know you did I bought the same
one and if she sees your table she's
going to know that I lied to her I told
her that ours was an original why did
you do that because she hates Pottery
Barn she hates Pottery
Barn I know I know she says it's all
mass-produced nothing is authentic and
everyone winds up having the same
stuff so come on she's going to be here
any second can we please just cover this
up with something please what no no I am
not going to hide it from Phoebe oh
although I did get some great Pottery
Bond sheets oh oh I forgot they made
sheets
yeah I still can't believe she hates
Pottery Barn Ross get over it it's not
like she hates you yeah but Pottery
Barn you know when I think she's just
she's weird you know it's because she's
a twin twins are
weird Ross she's not weird she just
likes her stuff to be one of a kind huh
you know what's not one of a kind a
twin
hey oh bab's here okay so let's turn out
all the lights and we'll just watch the
movie okay hey oh cool sheet oh you like
it you want to know where I got it sure
he got it at a flea
market you bought your sheets at a flea
market Ross come on you got to loosen
the purse strings a
[Music]
little
so good hey FES can you please not put
your feet up on my
new old
sheet
oh my Apothecary
table what
no Ross where did you get this I got it
at Pottery Barn
okay oh my God B Pottery Barn has ripped
off the design of our
antique what
oh my god well if they've ripped off our
table ours must be worth much more than
$1
50 well this doesn't even smell like
opium of course not it smells like wine
which you spilled and thanks for
wrecking my sheep by the way oh Ross
calm down I'll give you the 80 cents you
kick whose ass in a fight you or Ross
there's no question so you think Ross
too you picked Ross B is really strong
he's the strongest out of all three of
you except for
Joey I cannot believe you didn't pick me
uh in her defense she's right I am
stronger I would destroy
you oh really you think you're stronger
why don't you prove
it oh I'll prove it I'll prove it like a
theorem wait wait wait stop it stop it
stop now there's no one's going to fight
in this apartment hey Monica people came
to see a fight let's give them what they
came
for you guys could arm wrestle yeah
listen to the
nurse you're going down oh yeah you're
going further down down town seriously
guys the trash talk is
embarrassing
hi you uh wanted to see
me
yeah uh here's a box of your
stuff what uh you know it's just like
hats and shirt and CDs just sort of
stuff that you've left here what are you
doing are you are you trying to hurt me
or
something
no Ross
it it just seems that you know it's time
we you know move on I mean don't you
think yes yeah yes I do good yeah I I I
really
do
hey this this was a gift Ross you got
that for free from the museum gift shop
it's still a gift I got it from the gift
shop okay all right give me the mug I'll
keep the mug no you know you know don't
do me any favors in fact
where where's the rest of my stuff huh
like like my um hey this book is
mine and and and and that t-shirt you
sleep in I'd like that back too yes I
do you know how much I love that t-shirt
you never even wear that t-shirt I'm
just trying to help you move
on oh you are a petty man you are a
petty petty petty petty petty
small
you are so just doing this out of spite
no no no I'm I'm going to wear this all
the time I love this
shirt you have not worn that t-shirt
since you were 15 it doesn't even fit
you anymore oh yeah yeah yeah yeah oh
okay
[Applause]
okay if you don't mind I'm going to take
the rest of my
stuff and
relax in my favorite
shirt you have a pleasant
evening okay here we
go well
yeah I think I'm going to take off
huh oh you guys this was an amazing
night thank you so much I love you good
night
what I don't get a
goodbye lucky
bastard she says goodbye to everyone but
me well maybe she thought that with all
of your history it could be you know
implicit well it needs to be
pcit all right let's think about this I
mean there's got to be an explanation uh
did you do anything to make her mad no I
don't I don't think so you know maybe
she was just really spent from our talk
it was pretty intense yeah mine too mine
was a Humdinger
okay I mean don't I deserve anything I
mean uh a few tears a a cursory
hug not from
you Ross if you're this upset you should
go and talk to her say what you owe me a
goodbye that mean it's got more Pride
than that the hell I
[Laughter]
do I don't get a
goodbye what everyone gets a goodbye but
me what do we got to do to get a goodbye
huh uh be best friends with you uh go
out with you have have a baby with you
oh wait a minute wait a minute I did all
those
things or maybe maybe I'm just not
giving you enough credit uh I mean it is
difficult to say goodbye to five people
uh goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye it's
physically impossible that's it I cannot
make this decision it is too difficult
so I am just going to leave it entirely
up to the gods of
fate
a magic eightball come on you can't be
serious you can't make this decision
with a toy oh it's not a
toy well I don't know what else to do I
mean I either keep my wife and lose one
of my my best friends or I keep my
friend and get divorced for the second
time before I'm 30 so so if anyone else
has has a better suggestion let's hear
it because I I got nothing all right
don't be shy any suggestion will
do
okay
then here we
go magic eightball should I never see
Rachel
again ask again
later later is not good
enough
ask again later what the hell this is
broken it it is
broken let me
see will Chandler have sex
tonight don't count on
it wait a
minute wait a minute you you hated the
name Ruth why why would you change your
mind unless you know we're never going
to have to use it you did see the folder
you know it's a boy I didn't see
anything I actually changed my mind
about the name oh I don't think so
you're you're just giv me Ruth so so
you'll get to name him when it's a boy
and then that's when you'll swoop in and
and name him Heath or Blaine or
seoa I would put
seoa veto
fine
unless you anticipated that I would
figure all this out and you know that it
actually is a girl and and you really do
want her to be named Ruth well I'm not
falling for
that okay Ruth is off the
table but Ross you want the name Ruth
not like
[Music]
this
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