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all right fine you know what we'll both
sit in the chair fine with
me I'm so
comfortable me too in fact I think I
might be a little too comfortable all
right okay look we have 19 minutes okay
Chandler I want you to go and change
okay and then when you come back Joey
will go change and he'll have vacated
the chair okay
okay all right fine I'm going when I get
back it's chair City and I'm the guy
who's sitting in a
chair all right you will notice that I
am fully dressed I in turn have noticed
that you are not so in the words of AA
mil get out of my chair dill
hole okay
[Applause]
what are you doing well you said I had
to give you the chair you didn't see
anything about the
cushions the cushions are the essence of
the chair that's right I'm taking the
essence he'll be
back there's nobody in the
room where's my underwear whoa whoa whoa
come on come on what you took his
underwear he took my Essence okay hold
on
Joey why why can't you just wear the
underwear you're wearing now cuz I'm not
wearing any underwear
now okay um then why do you have to wear
underwear tonight it's a rented tux okay
not going to go commando in another
man's
fatigue well then it looks like
somebody's going to have to give
somebody back his
cushions okay you hide my clothes I'm
going to do the exact opposite to
you what do you what are you going to
show me my clothes hey
opposite is
opposite he's got
nothing okay buddy boy here it
is you hide my clothes I'm wearing
everything you
own oh my
God that is so noty opposite of taking
somebody's
underwear look at me I'm Chandler could
I be wearing any more
clothes maybe if I wasn't going
commando
yeah I'll tell you it's hot with all
this stuff on I uh I better not do any I
don't know
lunges okay okay enough enough for the
luning no I'm sick of this okay I've had
up to here with you two neither of you
can come to the
party jeez what a bab don't embarrass
that easily what you totally get
embarrassed no I don't Ross I I think
I'm just a more secure person than you
are is that so
yeah hey lady I don't care how much you
want it okay I am not going to have sex
with you in the bathroom
I'm on my way back to the
bathroom yeah all right all right just
keep walking all
right go what are you I'm sorry sir I
just I think he just really likes
[Music]
you hey you know that teacher who had a
baby with her
[Music]
student hi Mak me helpy yes I'm sorry M
do you have any extra pants uh my friend
seems to have had a little
accident hello
yah it's time for your massage yah huh
put put your face in the
hole w a Swedish massage from a real
Swedish
person okay then I'm
Swedish so what's your name it's a
normal Swedish name
Ikea wow what an interesting name yeah
you know I'm kind I'm time for your
scalp massage
wow I really love
your is something wrong no it's just um
just feels so good
Ikea oh hey say you'll know this what's
the capital of
Sweden um
Stockholm damn I wish I knew if that was
right hey look Joey I'm just saying if
you need something to hold you over I
can get you a job right here an
entry-level processor but don't you need
experience for a job like that it's not
that hard to learn and ask for people
realizing that you have no idea what
you're doing hey you're an actor act
like a processor people will think
you're a
processor hey Chandler here's this
morning's projection hey thanks Scott
Alexander Joey
triani Joey is a uh fellow processor no
kidding oh yeah yeah I process people
want the process processing I'm the one
they
call where do you work uh well right now
I'm in between things you know how it is
one day you're processing the next day
you're not so much
processing more I was just telling Joey
about the opening in fleshman's group
fleshman's group whatever you do don't
touch his
sandwiches are all you processors dorks
so how's the game I have no
idea what yeah I'm just pretending to
watch the game so I don't have to help
out with
stuff I don't believe you that is
brilliant and Monica has no idea nope
every once in a while I just yell and
scream stuff at the
TV hey
whaty is your team winning hun oh yeah
Anderson just scored
again there's no
Anderson oh oh excuse me ma'am yes you
can't put your cigarette out on a tree
yeah I can it worked real
well oh but you shouldn't so don't ever
do that again I won't till I have my
next cigarette hold it NYPD freeze punk
what that's right you are so
busted uh book
them who are you talking to save it
red unless you want to spend spend a
night in The Slammer you apologize to
the
tree I am not going to apologize to a
tree you apologize to the tree right now
or I am calling for
backup Backup backup I'm I'm sorry sorry
okay cancel backup cancel backup you
want to see something sure what okay um
this is going to be fun watch me freak
out
Chandler honey yeah listen
uh I I've been doing thinking and I
don't know whether it's because we're
here or Rachel's given
birth but
um I think we should try to have a
baby
okay what's that
now okay I've been thinking about it too
and I I think we're
ready are you kidding me you you you
think we're ready to have a a baby now
this is
fun you're ready to have a baby my boy's
all grown
up you said you were ready too yeah but
I was just screwing with you to to try
to get your voice all high and weird
like mine is now guess haven't you
wanted a kid like forever okay just back
off Mister oh we went to a self-defense
class today what yeah kicking a guy in
the crotch all morning really takes it
out of
you takes it out of you
now now we can kick anybody's ass after
one class I don't think so what you want
to see me self-defend myself go over
there and pretend you're a sexual
predator go on I dare
you well of course you could defend
yourself from an attack you know is
coming that's not enough look I studied
karate for a long
time and there's a concept you should
really be familiar with it's what the
Japanese
call
unagi isn't that a kind of
sushi no it's a concept yeah it is it is
it's freshwater
eel all right maybe it means that too oh
I would kill for a salmon skin roll
right
now no fine get attacked I don't even
care come on Ross we're sorry please
tell us what it
isagi it's a state of total
awareness okay only by achieving true
unagi can you be prepared for any danger
that may befall
you you mean in case someone's trying to
steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your
kettle of
fish all I'm saying is it's one thing
being prepared for an attack against
like each other whole another story
being prepared for an attack I don't
know like a surprise
all right you knew that was coming but
that doesn't mean you have
unagi oh you know what if we made
reservations we could have unagi in
about a half hour
[Music]
[Laughter]
what the hell was that a lesson in the
importance of
unagi you're a
freak
perhaps now I'm curious at what point
during those girlish screams would you
have begun to kick my
ass all right so we Wen prepared
I'm sorry I had to take such drastic
measures to make my point but I look I
just want you guys to be
safe
[Music]
[Laughter]
danger
ahuh
[Music]
[Applause]
unagi Danger
[Laughter]
[Applause]
ah Salmon skin
[Music]
roll that say Jack yeah Alex trbe back
oh of course cheuck willery definitely
Phoebe you will not find a single game
show host who's ass I cannot kick
[Laughter]
no say it say we are
unagi it's not something you are it's
something you
have say it you know what I could easily
get out of this but there's a chance you
could get very very
hurt uhhuh nowhere to
run I don't like sitting up here I'm I'm
going to go over no Rachel they got here
first why is Ross doing that danger oh
my God why is he jumping on those
women we should help
them I I don't think they need it any
[Music]
help
hello
hello
Bab Joey what's going
on oh my God I know it's stuck
step how did you get on I put it on to
scare
Chandler oh my God Monica's going to
totally freak out well then help me get
it off plus it smells really bad in here
of course it smells really bad you have
your head up a dead
animal Monica
[Laughter]
hey did you get the turkey oh my God oh
my
God who is that it's
Joey what what are you doing is it
supposed to be funny no it's not
supposed to be funny it's supposed to be
scary get that off now I can't it's
stuck I don't care that that turkey has
to feed 20 people at my parents house
and they're not going to eat it off your
head hold on okay let's just all think
okay I got it deie all right you pull
I'm going to spread the legs as wide as
I
can Joey no it's not the time sorry
right sorry okay count to three one two
three it worked I scared you I knew it
I'm over here big guy yeah you are oh
wait you know what I can't I can't look
at it I can't look at it somebody else
tell me somebody tell
me
okay it's
negative what it's
negative
oh
oh well there you go
phew that is that's great that is really
great great
news you know cuz the
whole H not being ready and kind of
financial aspects all
that wow this is so just the way this
was supposed to
be well then
great it's SC it's so
stupid how can I be upset over something
I never
had it's
negative no it's
positive what it's it's not negative
it's
positive are you sure well yeah I lied
before my God now you know how you
really feel about it oh that's a risky
little
game so excited I just set Rachel up
with the worst guy tonight all right who
is he well it's this guy used to massage
and by massage I mean hold down so he
wouldn't turn over and Flash
me okay C why do you hear who I got for
Ross oh yeah okay she's this really
boring woman she's a
teacher a teacher yeah yeah she's really
into history and foreign movies oh oh
and she loves puzzles huh come on who
loves
puzzles well Ross
does you're ruining the plan Joey you
you you fixed him up with his perfect
woman oh my God you're right she even
reads for
pleasure rich I promise first thing
tomorrow we'll find another doctor but I
got to go to up early and I'm not
feeling all that well what where what
what when you're not feeling well what
do you have is it rubella because Don't
Go Near your Emma she has not had that
shot you know come to think of it it it
does feel rubella
[Music]
like
[Music]
Winer weer weener weer Rachel
no he's going to know it was me
[Music]
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