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[Music]
hey you guys check it out check it out
guess what job I just
got I don't know but Donald Trump wants
his blue blazer
black what blue blazer back he he wants
it
back you said black why would he want
his blue blazer
black well you you you know what I meant
no you messed it up
you're
stupid Hey new wallet huh uh yeah it was
time the old condom ring in the leather
just doesn't say cool anymore you
know Rachel you just put an empty carton
back in the fridge oh yeah I know but
the garbage was
full have you ever taken out the
trash well I uh thought you liked doing
it third door on the left
right oh hey Mr Trigger he
what are you doing um oh
oh sorry it's a little old
but look you're clogging up the shoot I
just spent a half hour on
clogging I'm sorry I didn't I don't come
in here a lot oh yeah of course you
don't cuz you're a little
princess Daddy buy me a pizza Daddy buy
me a candy factory Daddy make the cast
of cats sing Happy Birthday to
me what you think you can just come in
here make a mess a big man in the cover
Ralls or come and clean it up huh well
why don't you think of someone else for
a
change okay I'm
sorry God you're going to cry about it
I'm quitting I just helped an
81-year-old woman put on a thong and she
didn't even buy
it I'm telling you I'm quitting that's
it I'm talking to my boss right now yes
I am yes I am yes I am yes I am yes I am
yes I am okay bye call me when you get
this
message oh Mr walam I uh really need to
talk to you in a moment please I'm in
the middle of a task and you have a
customer hi hi I'm Joshua hi I'm I'm
Rachel Green what could I do for you
Joshua well uh I need a whole new
wardrobe my wife well my exwife oh I'm
so
sorry anyway she burned all of my
clothes so I got away with two things
this suit and were turned out to be a uh
skirt well at least that's a great suit
yeah but it wasn't much fun dropping off
the dry cleaners in the skirt
so I need everything down to underwear
so if you're willing I'm uh I'm all
yours
okay Rachel you needed to speak to me no
no that wasn't
me well we should get started let me
show you my
underwear the selection of underwear
that we
carry oh I'm sorry it's this way it's
this way it's this way yeah sorry
would you like to go to a basketball
game
with you know it's funny basketball
because I happen to have tickets to
the
um who likes the
Nick what do you think oh well as a
single woman who is
available I think you look great huh H
yep oh yeah you look
great oh yeah yeah this looks
great um so you like it I do I do I love
it in fact I I think I'm going to wear
it home great all right well thank you
so much for all your help sure well I
guess uh I guess this is
it thanks maybe I'll see you in the
spring you know with the uh for the
bathing suits well you don't want to do
that
now that's okay I anyway hopefully I'll
see you around sometime
basketball sorry I uh I have two tickets
to the Knicks game tonight if you're
interested just as a thank you for this
week wow that would be great really yeah
that would be fantastic my my nephew is
crazy about the Nicks
this is fantastic thank you so much
Rachel good morning
hi okay for next time what do you say I
have an extra ticket an extra ticket not
two tickets I have an extra
ticket so the first time you asked a guy
out he he turned you
down he didn't turn me down he's at the
game isn't he I got the date I'm just
not on it I can't believe I'm getting my
nails done and you said it was going to
be
fun which it kind of
is also you said there were going to be
other guys here there are no other guys
here jayer there's a guy right over
there that's a
mailman that's our
mailman hi
don't worry this doesn't make you any
less of a
guy that
does what am I sitting
on I'd hate to think what this woman was
scratching when this broke
off hey you know uh who used to have
nails like that no oh my
God so nice thank you for doing this oh
please cooking soothes me
so digging right oh it all looks so
good oh my god oh I know my God this is
so this rice is I so
good behind
you oh yeah sorry they used to live here
and sometimes I migrate back
over is there uh is there some way that
they could uh not be here it's just that
uh Farm Birds really kind of freak me
out okay
okay here we go here we
go there you
go hey how'd you do that
all G so Farm Birds huh yeah it's it's
my only weird thing I swear and I I
would have told you about it but I
didn't know that they would be
here so all
right
okay so can I serve you a little of what
what's what nothing I uh it's just that
I know that they're still out there
they're across the hall I mean that's
two doors away it's going to take them a
long time to Peck their way back over
here that's that's not
funny okay you know would you feel
better if we went someplace else I mean
we could pack all this stuff up and you
know go to your apartment oh they're
working on it this week it's a total
mess but uh I'm staying at my parents
house we could go there your parents
yeah they're out of town oh
yeah it's a huge place and and it's got
this gorgeous view of the park it'd be
very very romantic what do you say yeah
that
works yeah they can smell the
fear
[Music]
morning
sunsh the SK is clear the morning
the
morning you have to do that it's
Saturday oh come on morning's here
morning
here morning's here Sunshine is
here I hate this
apartment I hate the color of these
walls I hate the fact that this place
still smells like
bird hate that singing guy are you
kidding I love that
guy morning's here morning is here stop
it I will kill
you
morning
here the morning's
here Sunshine is here
the sky clear the
morning hey you're back hey get into
gear breakfast is near the dark of night
has
disappeared I'll see you tomorrow
morning
okay so much is happening I know Ross is
getting married Phoebe's making
people everybody's doing stuff yeah we
just sit here I mean if I died the only
way people would even know that I was
here would be by the as print on this
chair look we have to do something okay
something
huge we could climb Mount
Everest no no not something stupid
something huge no no no no no I saw an
ad for this video people climb that
thing every day we could totally do that
why not I mean it's just it's just
climbing it's just it's just
steep we're going to Everest okay be
nice to leave an ass print on
Everest hey hey what what's up we're
going to climb Mount Everest yeah baby
really I looked into that yeah but I
mean it cost like $60,000 and you know
you could die and and you would
die oh
well we could get that ever video though
yeah we could do that without you know
risking our lives at
all and while we're down at the video
store you know what else we can could
rent die
hard but you know what I just remembered
that Everest thing is only available
through mail order oh well so you guys
will stay here and hang out with me yeah
yeah but I'll tell you something one of
these days we're going to get off our
butts and rent die hard again yeah we
are we are oh my God you still have the
chipper the what that's what we used to
call your uh your motorcycle in high
school
you know what a motorcycle is a chopper
and you're
chip never
mind I think it's
cute wow Lipper from the
chipper so you still in touch with
anyone from high school um there's
Rachel and um that's it how about you oh
yeah I still hang with Simmons and zna
and and that's see spinler a lot and
aine Kelly and I run into Goldie from
time to time stick Brown zov Maguire JT
Beardsley is that all ah you know After
High School you just kind of lose
touch oh yeah I ran into Richard Dorfman
oh how is he not so good me and Simmons
gave him a
wedgie isn't he an architect now yeah
they still wear
underwear weird what your nails oh I
know I never wear fake ones I just did
it so my mom wouldn't give me grief
about biting them oh no I meant it's
weird that you only have nine
now oh my
God wait a minute I had him when I put
oh my God it's in the
kiche oh my God okay don't panic I'm
going to go to the store I'm going to
get you another set of nails no one's
going to know and you're going to look
great oh
oh it's cuz they're going to eat that's
the
problem honey don't bite your
nails okay uh please don't freak out um
but uh there's a blue fingernail in in
one of the kich cups and there's no way
to know which
one and whoever finds it wins the
prize I make you take an oath no I made
myself take one yeah no fooling around
with clients and um always be
prepared yeah that one's actually from
the Boy Scouts but it just makes good
sense why don't you just give them to
somebody else no I can handle it no I'm
a
professional oh fibes is that a new
ankle
bracelet wellow and you got a pedicure
your feet are all dressed
up because that's the only part of you
he can see when he's on the table
you're going to do some feet
flirting I don't know what you're
talking
about then how do you explain the tow
ring because it's Arabian princess day
at work okay leave me alone I don't
think you heard me are you ready to
party
no Gandalf Gandalf is Coming to Town
Kathy's with her parents I have nothing
to do so tomorrow we are partying with
elf dude dude we are so going to
party wow okay dude
alert and who is this guy Mike Gandalf
ganderson only like the funnest guy in
the world I'm going to call and get off
work tomorrow oh I'm going to call after
you this is going to be so cool dude we
never party
any all right were you guys smoking
something in the back of our van
really and what do you mean we never
have fun anymore you have fun with me
remember the time we saw those strippers
then you paid me 50 bucks to eat that
book Joey you are going to love this guy
Gandalf is like the party wizard well
why do you call him Gandalf Gandalf the
wizard hello didn't you read Lord of the
Rings in high
school no I had sex in high school I'm
so so sorry I was going to do do it
really but then I was standing there
with
$327 in one hand and $238 in the other
hand and I was thinking wow it's been a
long time since I
had $327 plus
$238 Joey we had a deal that that's why
you're here I've got to fire you and
I've got to pay
rent look how how about this you don't
fire me instead I stay here I gain their
trust and and then they'll start
listening to all the nice things I've
been saying about
you what kind of things you've been
saying well nothing yet they really hate
you and I want to fit in hey hey sorry
I'm late did I miss anything well Joey
stuffing 15 Oreos in his
mouth 15 your personal
best so where were you oh on a date yeah
I met this girl on the train going to a
Museum upstate oh
yeah no answer
his okay it was just me and her at the
back of the train and I sat near the
door so she'd have to pass by me if she
wanted to like switch cars she was
totally at my Mercy were you so late
because you were burying this
woman no I'm getting back now because
she lives in pypy she seems really great
but she's like 2 and 1 half hours away
how can she be great if she's from pipy
okay that joke would have killed an
Albany done I did it huh who's stupid
now
huh hey hi listen can we watch cartoons
on your television we need a porn break
we spent the last two hours watching in
and out and in
again so why don't you just turn it off
because then we'd be the guys who turned
off free
porn oh good you're here hi hi what you
got here oh this well I'm glad you
asked now don't you hate it when you
have to cut a tin can with an ordinary
steak
Knife now I know what you're thinking
pregnant woman slays
Four B they didn't make you pay for
those knives did they no are you sure no
honey you're not going to make enough
money to help Frank and Alice just by
selling knives no no I know that but I
just need to make enough money for the
second part of my plan what's the second
part of your plan my Saturn dealership
[Music]
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