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[Music]
and it was Ern mbrt who first
hypothesized that the Velociraptor when
threatened would expand its color and
emit a high pitched noise to frighten
off its Predator yes Mr Lewis what kind
of
noise just a high pitched intimidating
noise but like
how well we we don't know for
sure but in my head it it's sounded
something like this
[Laughter]
uh of course this is just
conjecture Professor
Geller oh a student I don't
know I was wondering if I could talk to
you for a moment yes of course what what
would this be regarding making out in
your
office uh of of course why don't we go
inside oh oh what doorknob door
sorry um I actually do need to talk to
you oh okay what what about uh spring
vacation spring vacation yeah we have
time off and a lot of people are going
on trip TR Professor Gall yes Professor
fenin
L I'll be with you in one
moment so I will take one box of the
Thin
Mints why are we here okay okay take a
guess the hot
chicks okay okay I was uh typing names
into the library computer earlier you
know you know for fun and I typed mine
in and uh guess what came up my doctoral
dissertation it's here yeah right it's
right down here in the biggest library
in the University W that's actually
pretty cool yeah oh um there's also a
book here by a woman named Wendy
bajina what is
that sounds like two people are really
enjoying the Dewy Decimal
System I'm so sorry
you didn't bring me here to do that did
you excuse me hi I'm a professor here do
you know the paleontology section fifth
floor stack
437 well yes just give me five minutes I
just have to find someone to cover my
shift no no
no can I speak to someone in charge
please how can I help you hi I was
wondering is it possible to increase
Security in the paleontology section see
I I wrote a book that's up there and
instead of reading it people are are
well they're rolling around in front of
it we are aware of the problem you're
referring
to but as far as increasing security I'm
afraid the library is very understaffed
I I can't help
you well fine fine if if I'm the only
person with any appreciation of the
sanctity of the written word then I'll
go up there and defend it
myself and don't you follow
[Music]
me yes yes how can I help you yeah we we
were just looking around oh oh your your
fellow Scholars what exact were you
looking for H perhaps uh perhaps Dr
Chester stocks musings on the smilein
californicus uh H uh get out of
here I meeting someone or or are you
just here to brush up on miam's views on
evolution
um actually I find miam's views far too
progressionist I find Miriam's views far
too
progressionist I'm sorry who are you I'm
a professor here Ross Geller Ross Geller
why do I know that name it's
a
wait did you write this
yes you're the person who checked out my
book you know you look nothing like I
would have thought you're you're so
young well I uh I skipped fourth grade
I am
very very
sorry hey how'd the interview go not
good you know I always feel that way
after an interview I'll bet it went
better than you think well I didn't get
the job at Gucci and I got fired from
Ralph Lauren that is a bad
interview what are you what are you
talking about how'd this happen well my
boss was at the same restaurant where I
was having my interview and he heard
everything so lady later he calls me to
his office and he tells me that he's
going to have to let me go because I'm
not a team player and I say wait a
minute no yes I am and then I had to sit
there for 45 minutes while he proved
that that in fact was
true oh God I'm so
sorry hey what what's
this it's it's a bottle of champagne why
is this here Ross I guess it's here
because I got tenure congratul
congratulations this is the single
greatest day of my professional career
Gunther six classes six you want me to
join you oh I thought Joey was here five
is
good I'm going to have a lugie in my
coffee
tomorrow ooh Israeli
champagne and it's
vanilla I got tenure I didn't win the
lottery
hey Rich so uh how did your thing go oh
it's good yeah but I'm not going to hear
about that for a couple of days oh you
know what you're going to get it I I I I
can feel it can
you everybody here's to Ross and and to
years of hard work finally paying off
and to knowing that your career doesn't
mean everything but also knowing it
means a
lot but more importantly to full
well-rounded Liv that center around work
to
ro you know what the best part about
this is I can never be fired God no
seriously I have job security for life
you know I mean I never have to worry oh
oh look at look how happy you are for
me no it's not that I got fired today
and I didn't get the other job
ra I'm so
sorry great I feel like an idiot no it's
okay you didn't know
oh little heads up would have been nice
uh does anyone know where the Freeman
building is yeah it's the new building
on Avenue A what that that's all the way
across town I'm supposed to teach a
graduate seminar there in 10 minutes o
dude that's not going to
happen yeah move it move it move it hey
I'm the
[Music]
teacher
hello sorry I'm a little late uh whoa a
lot
late um well let me start by uh by
introduc ucing myself I'm uh Professor
Geller so to sum
up our professor D good job
today you were 50 minutes late to the
class what did you crawl there no I ran
okay it's really far and when did people
stop understanding the phrase get the
hell out of my way you're aino speaker
yeah who's making the decision Professor
Sherman yeah meeting with him today no
he is a pretty tough guy to impress yeah
well I think I know how to Dazzle him oh
you're not going to do a magic trick are
you
no the data we're receiving from MRI
scans and DNA testing of these fossils
are are staggering mhm I mean we've been
accepting leaky dates as as a given but
if they're off by even a 100,000 years
or so then you can you can just throw
most of our assumptions you know right
in the
trash so so what I'm saying is
is is
that is that uh
repercussions could could be huge I mean
not just in in paleontology but if you
think about it in in evolutionary
biology uh genetics uh geology I mean
truly the the mind boggles
well that's not what you
[Music]
want hello Joey hey I need to talk to
Charlie is she there no she uh she went
shopping with Rachel why what's up well
I'm meeting with Professor Sherman about
my being the keynote speaker oh how's it
going it could be
better she um she fell as sleep what but
I already bought my ticket to
Bermuda Barbados fine I'll rent the car
and
drive Ross you have to get that job what
am I supposed to do he's out cold in
fact he was just talking in his sleep
before and evidently he wants someone
named Fran to spank him
harder well just wake him up I can't if
he realizes that I'm the one and put him
to sleep I won't get the job ooh that's
that's a tough one oh wait a minute this
happened to me before yeah I was
auditioning for a play and the producer
fell asleep I no wait a minute it was me
who fell
asleep yeah I mean hey shakespear how
about a chase scene once in a while
[Music]
oh my God you really want me to be the
key notes
speaker thank
you you're
welcome do you not want to be seen with
me well no of of course I do are they
gone uh no they're still here but I
think I'm about to leave what no no wait
what you're right this is stupid who
cares what people think I mean we we
like each other right there's nothing
wrong with
that come
on Bert Lydia
Mel this is Elizabeth hi aren't you in
my popular culture class that's right
Lydia Elizabeth here is a student and uh
we're dating and you may frown upon that
but we're not going to hide it
anymore you are so
fired what they're going to fire you you
can't date a student it's against the
rules really it's not just frowned upon
Mr Morris can I see you for a
moment yes sir Mr Morris I need to talk
to you about your midterm
exam I'm afraid I I had the fail you
why well you need 60% to pass what I it
seven that's not so
good no no it's not what what happened
there Ned maybe you can cut me some
slack I'm sort of in
love I'm sorry but that's that's really
not my problem I'm in love with
you well that brings me in the loop a
little see that's why I did so bad on
this test I'm having a hard time
concentrating when you're up there and
you're teaching and your face gets all
serious it looks so
good you wear that tied little
turtleneck sweat
okay um I uh I'm your teacher I'm sorry
you're your student and I and I like
women in spite of what may be written on
the backs of some of these chairs
I'm all packed and ready to go well
that's right daddy and Uncle Joey are
going on a trip today we're going to a
conference in Barbados right can you say
Barbados
Barbados I got to say uh it means so
much to me that you guys are coming all
the way over there to to hear me give my
speech oh and I have a surprise uh I had
to pull some strings but I was able to
get everyone passes to the entire
conference that's right
these babies will get you into all the
paleontology lectures and
seminars do you have anything that will
get us out of
them yeah Ross I mean we're excited to
hear the speech but the rest of the time
we're going to want to do you know
Island stuff well I think David will
probably want to hear a few lectures oh
right because he's a scientist no no
well because you know he's been in Minsk
for8 years and if he gets too much
direct sunlight he'll
die okay we better go yeah um so we'll
see you guys tomorrow all right let's do
it 5 hour flight with Charlie have a
couple drinks get under that blanket and
do what comes natural it's a blanket Joe
not a cloak of
invisibility hello hello is Ross there
uh no he's not can I take a message yes
this is Russell Ross's divorce lawyer
just tell him that since I haven't heard
from him I assume he's decided to give
the marriage a try Ross got married
again
[Applause]
no all right keep going we are phasing
the accent out phasing it
out so without retesting their results
in the
laboratory the team would never have
identified the initial errors in their
carbon dating a
n were there any questions at this
point yes what's happening to your
accent
come again what's what's this
nonsense all right I'm I'm not
English I'm from Long
Island I was really nervous and the
accent just um just came
out I'm
sorry so if we could just get back to
the lecture
um were there any
questions about
paleontology all right look I was just
trying to make a good first impression
obviously I screwed up but what you guys
think of me is really important because
I'm I'm hoping to get a permanent job
here so if you just give me another
chance to make a good
impression Ross are you crazy I still
your what what were you just never going
to tell me what the hell is wrong with
you oh I Could Just Kill
You Well hello Rachel that was really
thank you so much and so
funny okay all right thanks thanks so
much you got I can't tell you how much
it means to me that you were here are
you kidding we wouldn't have missed it
yeah oh
I'm
back okay um excuse me yeah hey well you
were incredible you blew them away oh I
can't tell you how great it was to look
at the crowd and see your face I mean uh
did you know you were you were mouthing
the words along with me I was not no
it's okay it made me feel like like a
rock
star oh my God I'm your
groupy hey I better enough find you
naked in my hotel
room look I I took it too far
[Music]
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