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Monica can I talk to you for a
second listen I appreciate you getting
me the costume oh you did this
too what I thought he'd love it his
favorite kids book was the velvetine
rabbit the velvetine rabbit was brown
and
white well it was either a pink bunny or
no Bunny at all no Bunny at all always
no Bunny at all
hey you didn't dress up either yes I did
I'm
[Applause]
Chandler dude what
happened how is that me okay I'm
Chandler that is no
you when have I ever done that when have
I ever done that
wow hey hey
what are you supposed to be remember the
Russian satellite
Sputnik well I'm a potato or a
spud and these are my
antenna so Sputnik
becomes
Sputnik
spun wow I don't have the worst costume
anymore
hell right Ross came is
Duty no I'm I'm not Duty no space
[Laughter]
[Music]
Duty okay here we go
I am J's prisoner and you have a really
weird look on your
face what what is it did I get it wrong
did I get the hair wrong wait did you
just picture it differently what what no
no no it's um it's not you it's um
[Applause]
it's well what is it come on sweetie you
kind of like freaking me out
here the hate Chandler the bastard ruin
my
life okay okay you here come here here
okay you're going to take this tray
you're going to stand on this yellow
Mark you're going to move on action
you're going to walk over to the
operating table you're going to stop on
that blue Mark you're going to put the
tray down don't walk too fast but don't
Dole okay now
what
and action
cut cut I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I'm just a little nervous yeah well
don't be okay that
helps
and
action hey you know what don't worry
about it Fe usually takes me three takes
two all right
eight action
[Music]
hey so what he say uh well he can be a
little rough around the edges so I'm
going to replace a word he used a lot
with the word puppy
okay so he said if your puppy friend
doesn't get her puppy act together I am
going to fire her mother puppy
ass I'm sorry I can't do this I'm just
not an actor that's right you're not
you're a nurse You're nurse with Trey
Joey no no nurse with Trey doesn't know
Joey she doesn't have time for friends
she gets in that operating room and she
carries that tray to the doctor because
if she doesn't people die who dies
man with eye patch now you get in there
and you do your job yes doctor
okay okay let's try this one more time
hang in there man with eye patch your
tray is
coming
and
action yes I did it I nailed it wo
what's next the rest of the
scene okay from the top people come on
out honey I'm telling you you look good
tell her she looks good tell her she
looks
[Applause]
good oh my
God you look so
good cannot believe I have to walk down
the aisle in front of 200 people looking
like something you drink when you're
nauseous so don't I don't see why we
have to go to this thing anyway it's
your your ex Fan's wedding because I
promised Mindy I would yeah well you
promised Barry you'd marry
him look you guys I have to go I'm the
maid of honor besides you know what I
just need to be in a room again with
these people and feel good about myself
what do you think well I'm not going to
have to buy that I'ma stupid t-shirt
anymore I like here you go all right
look you're not really going to buy that
are you don't you think you've
embarrassed me enough for one day oh I
embarrass you how can I answer that when
I'm pretending I don't know
you he's just jealous you'll fit right
in all londoners wear them oh really
then how come no one here anywhere is
wearing
one they're all
tourists all right look if you insist on
wearing that in public you know you're
going to spend the rest of the afternoon
all by
yourself you're going to make me choose
between you and the hat I choose the Hat
good choice thanks okay look all right
that's it okay I'm out of here I'm not
going to be embarrassed
anymore hey hello sir you here to turn
those
pants no these are my
pants oh
okay how can I help you well um do you
have a Santa outfit left two days before
Christmas sorry man okay look do do you
have anything uh Christmasy I promise my
son and I I really don't want to
disappoint him um come on I you got to
have something
I'm the holiday
armadillo I'm a friend of Santa and he
sent me here to wish you a Merry
Christmas what happened to Santa holiday
armadillo Santa was unavailable so close
to
Christmas oh come in have a seat you
must be exhausted come all the way from
Texas Texas that's right Ben I'm Santa's
representative for all the Southern
States and
Mexico but Santa sent me here to give
you these presents Ben maybe the lady
will help me with these presents
[Applause]
wow thanks you're welcome Ben Merry
Christmas o and happy
Hanukah are you for Hanukkah too because
I'm part Jewish you are me too
because armadillos also wandered in the
desert hey you know might cheer you
up
what you know I got to tell you this
really does put me in a better
mood I wish there was a job where I
could wear this all the
time maybe someday there will be
oh God that's Chandler he's going to
come by and borrow some candles for his
big date oh okay no no Rachel don't get
it see us no yet the groom cannot see
the bride you're not going to marry
Chandler not after
this okay guys just
relax I
do I got to go
yeah well that ought to do
it hey Joey hey PHS listen uh can you do
me a favor I got the pin number to my
ATM card can you get it for me sure
where is it uh I scratched it on the ATM
machine Down on the
Corner oh so you're 5639 that's it
thanks
fee oh do you want to talk to Chandler
is that Joey let me talk no no cuz he
didn't believe in my movie which is a
big mistake because it is real
real hey you know what I've been trying
to apologize to him all week if he's not
going to let me do it on the phone I'm
going to go down there I'm going to do
it in person uh fees I heard that uh can
you put him on
yeah hey don't come out
here no no no no I support you 100% And
I want to prove that to you in person I
got that I forgive you don't come out
here forgive me you haven't been taking
my calls for a week well I'm totally
over it chanler friends forever don't
come out
here would you mind doing a picture with
us what was that uh Entertainment
Tonight yeah okay so good talking yeah
and don't come out here all right hey
Joey yeah you read comic books right
exclusively who do you think would win
in a fight Catwoman or Supergirl
Catwoman hands down yeah but between you
and Phoebe I'd have to give the edge to
Phoebe what really are you kidding
Phoebe lived on the street okay plus
she's got this crazy temper
she she's not standing right behind me
is
she no you're fine all right well do you
think I can take Rachel I'm not sure
what come on I am tough put you know pun
me right here as hard as you
can you relax what are you taking this
so seriously for it doesn't matter oh
really okay well what would you say if I
told you that you know I thought Ross or
Chandler could beat you up I would say
woman
please hey Ursula's fiance is really
sweet he's a teacher he does all this
volunteer work you know normally you
know I don't like really sweaty guys but
this one I could just mock them
up oh my God phoei what you're getting a
crush on your sister's fiance no I'm not
you
are here comes the temper
[Music]
hey hey check out the flyers for the
band I made them on a Macintosh in the
computer room awesome the name really
stands out thanks to a little something
called helvetica bold 24
Point man we're going to rock that Asian
Student
Union hey guys hey Miss hey Missy you
know our band is playing on Friday yeah
yeah you should come check us out we're
call way no
way no way
way great I'll be there fresh boss me
she's gone I know
it you know I'm totally going to ask her
around dude I was going to ask her out I
said it first bro well I thought at
first Holmes
look if you think wait wait what are we
doing what we have is too important to
mess it up over some girl I mean we can
get laid anytime we want
totally I had sex in high school me too
I'm good at
it all right I say we make a pack
neither of us will go out with Missy
Goldberg you got
it all right so that's Missy Goldberg VB
Kates and ringal who neither of us can
go out with those are the packs oh and
Sheena East but we probably couldn't get
her
anyway okay you hide my clothes I'm
going to do the exact opposite to
you what are you what are you going to
show me my
clothes hey
opposite is
opposite he's got nothing
okay buddy boy here it
is you hide my clothes I'm wearing
everything you
own oh my
God that is so not the opposite of
taking somebody's
underwear look at me I'm Chandler could
I be wearing any more
clothes maybe if I wasn't going
commando yeah
I'll tell you it's hot with all this
stuff on I uh I better not do any I
don't know
lunges okay okay enough enough with the
luning no I'm sick of this okay I've had
up to he with you two neither of you can
come to the
party jeez what a
baby we can't go now it looks like
Rachel's going to put on a
skit oh my God
have you lost your mind no no no no no
no I finally thinking
clearly my lucky dress wasn't working
out too well for me but for 4 years this
baby never
missed I cannot I can't
let actually I kind of want to see what
happens hey hey nice uh costume oh yeah
well I wanted to give Emily a big
American goodbye cheer
so
okay ready okay give me an e e give me
an m m give me an I I give me an l l
give me
Y what
again
Emily
Emily okay let be a cheerleader to
fine I'm f i just L the tooth it's no
big deal I'm have a dentist you know put
some ice on it excuse
me what do I do now what do I do now I
think you're
done okay time to take off the
[Music]
bra uh that was really uh
great but I I got to take off actually
take bra off
all right come on let's go get your coat
okay Rachel is my
girlfriend nice try wait wait wait
wait look
Monica this is not going to work but
this will
[Laughter]
work you are so great I love
you what nothing I said I said you're so
great and then I just I just stopped
talking said you love me I can't believe
this no I
didn't yes you did no I
didn't you love me no I don't stop it
stop it stop it stop
it you going into your room and try
these on and we'll see we'll get a
better idea of what's going to work
thanks you are such a good friend and
this is so
weird ow toothpick
yeah what are you trying on now the
fruit roll up and
delicious Joey wait a minute wait a
minute we have a winner what which
one the silly putty not so silly
anymore and what's cool is the character
is from Naples right yeah my whole
family's from Naples that's great okay
well I've heard everything I need to
hear we just need to
uh
Leslie uh Joey this is the awkward part
oh hey right not a problem I totally
understand you need to you know make
sure I don't have any horrible scars or
tattoos don't you
worry I have nothing to
hide so there there you go that's me
100%
natural
oh a well you're just the prettiest
ferina I've ever seen thank
you oh wow that deserves another piece
of candy thank
you well I have to say that earns Tut
two pieces of candy
I love you oh oh oh oh honey here take
it
[Applause]
all Monica we need more candy what
there's only been like four kids yeah I
know but one of them just said that she
loved me so I just gave her
everything no wonder you're
pregnant
hey
Ur what are you doing here I've been
trying to call
you listen um oh no no no don't say
listen I know that listen I've said that
listen I'm sorry I don't get it what
happened what about everything you said
under the
bridge yeah
um you know you should just forget about
what I said under the bridge I was
talking crazy that night so
drunk you don't drink that's right I
don't
but I was I was drunk on
you but okay yeah so it's not going to
work why is it because I'm friends with
Phoebe if it was would you stop hanging
out with
her no no I I couldn't do that um then
yeah it's cuz of
Phoebe so you know it's either her or
me then uh
then I'm
sorry you
know you're going to be really really
hard to get over I
know I don't know whether it's just cuz
we're breaking up or what but you have
never looked so
beautiful really
[Music]
feves yeah
I think the check in is that way
[Applause]
ah oh kids love
me
[Music]
hey you go to a costume
party let me guess um Poncho
via and your bomb Saget
watcha yeah what what are you talking
about be I
don't oh my God you drew on me hey you
wet my
pants Oh what kind of party was
this I been walking around like this
since the plane I you have so crossed a
line r Wait the men's room is that way
we should do we should all get dressed
up and go to I have champagne at the
plaza oh
okay but I I I can't stay too long I got
to get up early for a commercial
audition tomorrow and I got to look good
supposed to be playing a
19-year-old what so when you said get up
early did you mean
1986 you guys don't think I look
19 oh 19 we thought you said 90
okay everybody let's go let's go
okay
sup sup
dude take whatever you want just please
don't hurt
me so you playing little PlayStation
huh that's
whack
PlayStation is
whack Su with the whack PlayStation
so come on am I 19 or what yes on a
scale from 1 to 10 10 being the dumbest
of person can look you are definitely
19 come on man really how old young
you're a Manchild okay now go get change
because everybody's ready and please oh
please keep my
underwear oh thanks
okay now I can pass for 19
right yes you can pass for 19 really yes
seriously seriously seriously no okay
you can play your own age which is
31 I'm thir
30 Joey you are not you're
31 oh
crap GI Joe GI Joe hey I don't know what
to tell you guys that's the doll he
chose what' you do dip it in
Sugar look GI Joe's in Barbie's out and
if you guys can't deal with it that's
just your too
bad what are you being such a weenie for
it's always a Barbie big deal used to
dress up like a
woman
what what you used to dress up in Mom's
clothes all the time what are you
talking about the big hat the pearls the
little pink handbags okay you are
totally making this up how can you not
remember you made us call you be
[Music]
oh
god I've literally never been this
happy wasn't there a little song oh
please God let there be a song there
there was no song there was no song I am
Fe okay I drink tea okay that's that's
won
you won't
you won't
you won't you dance around with me
h
[Music]
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