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did I miss it did I miss it no no I'm on
right after this guy shoots
himself whoa she's pretty yeah oh and
she's really nice too she taught me all
about you know how to work with the
cameras and smell the fart
acting I'm
sorry it's like you got so many lines to
learn so fast that sometimes you need a
minute to remember your next one so
while you're thinking of it you take
this big po pause where you look all
intense you know like
this
okay oh here's my scene here's my
scene this is Wallace yes I'm Dr Drake
rore your sister's neurosurgeon yeah
tell me is she going to be all right I'm
afraid the situation is much more dire
than we'd expected your sister is
suffering from a
[Laughter]
a subcranial
hematoma perhaps we can discuss this
further over
[Laughter]
coffee
nice excellent you know for a minute
there I thought you were actually trying
to smell
something hello hey Hey listen I'm I'm
sorry I didn't make it over there today
oh that's okay you uh you had a
thing yeah well I hear the place looks
great oh forget about it I'm having a
ball how's the apartment doing oh hey
it's it's terrific I mean it's a regular
space
Fest oh well great yeah I just you know
wanted to call and say
hey well okay then
was that the oven
timer that's right my friend it's time
[Music]
for can you believe they gave Stephanie
skin cancer I still can't believe they
promoted her to
Lieutenant you're just saying that cuz
you're in love with Yasmine bleed well
how could anyone not be in love with
Yasmine
ble hey hey they're running see this is
the Brilliance of the
show I say always keep them
running all the time running
run run run y me run like okay thanks
for coming I hope you guys had fun all
right Monica dear I'm going to hit the
road now I've left my 10 verbs on the
table and you be sure and send me that
finished poem okay we'll do I'm so glad
you came I think I saw Rachel out in the
hall okay let me go check oh all
right your mom wants to Say Goodbye Oh
by happy birthday sweetie
okay uh you drive safe okay Ross what
are you
doing I'm getting ready for the water
ski big one more big H come on
big how are
you well uh Dr GRE where you going get
my
coat all right all right I can get my
own
coat sorry we're on a major fla
high oh no no you're not supposed to be
here cuz this is the staging area you
should it's all wrong you should leave
you know just get out
[Applause]
or perhaps you'd like a crem
DeMent have to be heading toward my
chatau thank you oh all right well then
I guess we're going back into the
hallway again thanks for coming Mrs
[Applause]
Green okay
you take
care oh you
kids
well this is the best party I've been to
in
years thank
you hey hey check it out guess what I
got
rhythm no my first fan
mail dear Dr Mo know that I love you and
would do anything to have you gosh
you're not so secret admirer Erica
Ford oh wait PS and close please find 14
of my
eyelashes you know in crazy world that
means you're
married this wasn't address to Days of
Our Lives this is this came to your
apartment there's no stamp on it this
woman was in our building oh my God
I got my very own
stalker hey look Joey I'm just saying if
you need something to hold you over I
can get you a job right here as an entry
level processor but don't you need
experience for a job like that it's not
that hard to learn and ask for people
realizing that you have no idea what
you're doing hey you're an actor act
like a processor people will think
you're a
processor hey Chandler here's this
morning's projection hey thanks Scott
Alexander Joey
triani Joey is a uh fellow processor
no
kidding oh yeah yeah I process people
want the processing I'm the one they
call where do you work uh well right now
I'm in between things you know how it is
one day you processing the next day
you're not so much
processing more I was just telling Joey
about the opening in fleshman's group
fleshman's group whatever you do don't
touch his sandwiches
are all you processors dorks
Amber I want you to know that I'll
always be there for you as a friend and
as your brother oh
Drake our day huh wor the medical award
this yeah some guys are just lucky I
guess drore report to first floor
emergency
stat well then uh the uh guess that's
me anyone else need to go on the
elevator Dr W Dr W no no they only said
you oh okay all right I love you Drake
yeah
whatever oh no Drake Look Out
Drake did they just kill off Joey no
no
maybe all right no peeking no peeking no
peeking no peeking all right all right
but you better be wearing clothes when I
open my
[Laughter]
eyes all right open your
eyes sweet mother of all that is good
and
pure huh Days of Our Lives picked up my
option congratulations
now we can finally watch Green Acres the
way it was meant to be
seen so
uh which one is mine whichever one you
want man whichever one you
want not that
one oh
yes oh yeah that's the
stuff do we dare
we
dare the way to the airport huh you know
that's over 30 miles that's going to
cost you about so bucks excuse me that's
50
bucks what
$5 oh you know what it is it's smudgy
cuz they're fact Pages now when I was on
Days of Our Lives as Dr Drake
rore they'd send over the whole script
on real paper and everything that's
great and and and just so you know if
you wanted to expand this scene like
like have the cab crash or something I
could attend to the victims cuz I have a
background in medical
acting okay listen thanks for coming in
no no uh don't thank me for coming in uh
at least let me
finish uh we could take the expressway
but uh this time of day you're better
off taking the budge
you were going for the word Bridge there
weren't
you I'll have a good day listen Bing I
received your memo so we're not going to
see the systems report until next Friday
well the people in my group want to
spend the holiday weekend with their
family I have a family I'm going to be
here yeah Bing what's that
about it's about cutting my people a
little slack you know for morale look if
you want to see some rough numbers I can
get them to you by Wednesday rough
numbers this company was not built on
rough numbers am I
right have the final numbers on my desk
by Tuesday if you say so
sir Joseph's good isn't
he well I'm going to kill
you hey hey I just figured Joseph's the
kind of guy who likes to mix it up you
know get in there ruffle some feathers
why look I'm sorry but that's what
Joseph
does okay if you try to pull something
he'll call you on it what are you trying
to pull he'll
say This Kiss thing is definitely a
problem Mr batty wants to see it again
on Monday man I got to figure out what
I'm doing wrong oh okay uh one of you
girls come over here and kiss me get it
right hey come on I need your help here
all right I'll do it I've kissed him
before I can do it
again see this huh this is a friend
uhhuh let's go wait I've
G
okay good very good firm but tender I'd
recommend you to a
friend then I don't know what it is
what's the problem you know maybe you're
just not used to kissing men you know
maybe you just tensed up a little bit
maybe that's what you need to work on
yeah that makes
sense Over My Dead
Body and I'll be using his dead body as
a shield Monica we got a question all
right for the zillionth time yes I see
other women in the shower at the gym and
no I don't look no not that one we're
trying to figure out who to bring to the
Nicks game tonight we have an extra
ticket yeah Ross can't go so it's
between my friend Eric prow who has
breath issues and Dan with the poking
did you see that play do you want some
more beer is that LE
okay hey why don't you ask
Richard okay uh hey Richard if you had
an extra ticket to the Knicks
game and you had to choose between a
friend who's smelled and one who bruises
you who would you pick wow well being a
huge Nick fan myself I think you should
take someone who's a huge Nick
fan okay that's
Eric glad to be of help
matches I meant why don't you take
Richard to the
game
what I don't know come on keeps his
fingers to himself and he's always minty
fresh I Rich's really nice and
everything it's just so we don't know
him really well you know and plus he's
you know
old than some
people but uh younger than some
buildings you know you should go outside
and be with the three-dimensional
people no inside
good outside
bad you guys are so pathetic oh oh Z
[Laughter]
do she's one of us
now hi you guys hey
hey so we just want to stop by and uh
say good night good
night look at that they won't even turn
their heads all right you guys taking
off my shirt
[Applause]
nah she's
[Music]
lying Joey
Ma
Joey Chandler what are you still doing
here I thought you guys took off oh no
no no she took off with my clothes
are you naked in there well not
exactly I'm wearing
panties
huh you uh you always wear
panties no no this is the first
time wow talk about your bad luck I mean
the first time you try panties and
someone walks off with your
clothes I was not trying them out suszie
asked me to wear them well let me see
no I'm not letting you or anybody else
see ever all right all
right
whoa someone's
flossing Joey some people don't like
that Chandler's wearing panties
what let me see no no you don't have to
see hi
tushy all right one you give me your
underpants oh no no no can't help you
I'm not wearing
any how can you not be wearing any
underwar oh I'm getting heat from the
guy in the hot pink
thong all right look Ross I'll give you
$50 for your
underpants hey
[Music]
[Music]
I am not interested in the guy's
apartment oh please I saw the way you
were checking out his
moldings you want it why would I want
another apartment huh I've already got
an apartment that I love love well it
wouldn't kill you to say it once in a
while all right you want the truth I'm
thinking about
it what I'm sorry I'm 28 years old I've
never lived alone and I'm finally at a
place where I got enough money that I
don't need a roommate anymore whoa whoa
whoa I don't need a roommate either okay
I can afford to live here by myself you
know I may have to bring in somebody
once a week to lick the sil
overwar what are you getting so bent out
of shape for huh it's not like we agreed
to live together forever we're not Burt
ner okay these were unbelievably
expensive and I know he's going to grow
out of in like 20 minutes but I couldn't
[Applause]
resist look at
these hey Ben just do it
[Music]
oh my god oh okay was that too much
pressure for
him wow is he hungry already I guess
so you know
it's something funny about sneakers I'll
be right
back oh H yeah I got to get one
too what are you guys doing we're just
hanging out by the
spoons little
but when you guys grow up this is the
most natural beautiful thing in the
world yeah we know but there's a baby
sucking on
it this is my son having lunch okay it's
going to happen a lot so you better get
used to it now if you have any problem
with it if you're uncomfortable just ask
questions Carol's fine with it come
on Carol
Carol I was just wondering if Joey could
ask you a question about
breastfeeding
sure
uh does it
hurt did it first but not
anymore
Chandler so uh how often can you do
it as much as he needs oh oh okay I got
one I got one
uh if he blows into one does the other
one get bigger
he listen
uh I don't know what I'm going to see
you again well I'm guessing uh tonight
at the coffee house right yeah okay uh
take care yeah
[Music]
we love you and we're here for you luck
good luck
thanks hey ra you uh you want some
sandwich oh what is in that olive loaf
and hams spread no mayo no no cuz Mayo
that would make it
gross hey hey no oh oh oh run baby run
no no Noy no please oh I do so want to
love all animals please no
a bone get a bone you got a bone kidding
me look kib F oh God all right get the
hell off my leg you yiy piece of
crap okay all right we have a problem
well why don't you just reach out and
take his
trampoline okay here I know what we can
do hey hey hey
no okay doggy get the get the
T okay go get sandwich get that sandwich
doggy good doggy get the sandwich get
okay Joey the dog will lick himself but
he will not touch your sandwich what
does
that well if he's not going to eat it I
will oh you crazy Fe he's just a little
[Laughter]
dog wow I I don't know what to say
he what do you say I don't
know it's a bracelet isn't it and it's a
grave too check it out to my best
bud thanks best
bud put it on oh
now no no I think something this nice
should be safe for a special occasion oh
no no that's the beauty part it goes
with everything
you put this on you're good to
go oh man you are so wearing that
bracelet I so am you guys doing for
dinner
tonight well I guess I got to start
saving up for Ross's birthday so I guess
I'll just stay home and eat dust
bunnies you believe how much this is
going to cost do you guys ever get the
feel
that um Chandler and those guys just
don't get that we don't make as much
money as they do yes yeah really it's
like they're always saying let's go here
let's go there like we can afford to go
here and
there yes yes and it's and we always
have to go to you know someplace nice
you know God it's not like we can say
anything about it cuz like this is a
birthday thing you know and it's veros
veros ver
oh my God hey hi what okay I'm at work
it's an ordinary day you know chop chop
chop sauté sauté
saut all of a sudden Leon the manager
calls me into his office turns out they
fired the head lunch chef and guess who
got the job if it's not you this is a
horrible
story fortunately it is me and they made
me head of purchasing thank you very
much
so anyway I just ran into Chandler and
Ross downstairs and they think we should
go out and celebrate you know someplace
nice someplace nice how much you think I
can get for my kidney anymore there's
something about me on that piece of
paper and I want to see it no you
don't all right you know what fine if
you guys want to be children about this
that's fine I do not need to
say man this is weird you ever realize C
his eyebrows are actually on his hat
that's what's weird Joey the man's been
captain of a cereal for the last 40
years oh look what the spoon you licked
and and you
put you licked in your
point yeah so well don't you see how
gross that is I mean that's like you're
using my
toothbrush you use my
toothbrush oh that was only cuz I us use
the red one to unclog the
drain mine is the red
one oh God can open worms
everywhere hey why can't we use the same
toothbrush but we can use the same soap
because soap is
soap it's
self-cleaning all right well next time
you take a shower think about the last
thing I wash and the first thing you
wash hey oh where is where's Richard did
you ditch him yeah right after we stole
his lunch money and gave him a
wedgie what's the matter with you he's
parking the car don't you guys have fun
your boyfriend is so cool really yeah he
let us drive his Jaguar Joey for 12
blcks me for 15
wow he must like you the
best oh and what about that thing he did
when he tipped the guy who showed us to
our seats he never even saw the money it
was like this hey Chand thanks for
showing us to our seats
you're welcome hey Joey thanks for
parking the car no
problem hey Chan I think they get it
okay there's the man
hey hey you're getting better I'm going
to keep this by the
way he kept my dollar just seems so
feudal you know all these women and
nothing
I feel like Superman without my Powers
you
know I have the cape and yet I cannot
fly well now you understand how I feel
every single
day okay the world is my lesbian wedding
[Music]
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