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are you ready to
party
no Gandalf Gandalf is Coming to Town
Kathy's with her parents I have nothing
to do so tomorrow we are partying with
gandal dude dude we are so going to
party wow okay dude
alert and who is this guy Mike Gandalf
ganderson only like the funnest guy in
the world I'm going to call and get off
work tomorrow
I'm going to call after
you this is going to be so cool dude we
never party
anymore all right were you guys smoking
something in the back of our
van really and what do you mean we never
have fun anymore you have fun with me
remember the time we saw those strippers
then you paid me 50 bucks to eat that
book Joey you are going to love this guy
Gandalf is like the party wizard well
why do you call him Gandalf Gandalf the
wizard hello didn't you read Lord of the
Rings in high
school no I had sex in high school take
care of everything thanks a lot
co-host wait a minute take care of
everything there's there's plenty of
things for you to do uhhuh like
what
cups Cups you're giving me
cups and
Ice cups and Ice oh I get to be in
charge of Cups and ice all
right fine okay I will be in charge of
Cups and Ice wait a minute I can get ice
at the restaurant I got it
[Music]
mine hey check it out um cup hat cup
Banner cup Chandelier and the thing that
started it all the
cup great job with the cups
FES why don't you just go out with
her and did you notice the ice look we
have it all we have crushed cubes and
dry watch
a
misser no one's eating my tuskin finger
food because they're all filling up on
Pho snow cones they snow cones snow
cones you know go go thank you this what
I got going for the party so far liquor
wise get a lot of liquor great great
okay now uh in terms of the invite list
obviously I got you me and Chandler and
I'm going to invite Gunther because well
we've been talking about this pretty
loud I'll be
there right and oh listen I know it's
your party but I'd really like to limit
the number of Museum Geeks that are
going to be there yeah tell you what
let's not invite any of the
anthropologists okay just the dinosaur
dudes okay we need a sixpack of Zema
hey guys what are you doing oh just
planning my bachelor party with my best
man yeah well good luck trying to top
the last one yeah see I don't think it's
going to be that difficult considering
this one won't take place in the
basement of a Pizza
Hut oh I'm Ross I'm Ross I'm too good
for the Hut I'm too good for the
Hut look I got to go pick up Ben uh
everything so far sounds great Joey just
remember keep it on the Mellow side okay
just a couple of guys hanging out
playing poker no no ST rppers or
anything okay you got it okay see you
later I have fun planning your mellow
bachelor
party there's going to be strippers
there he didn't say anything about no
strippers he just said no strippers oh I
chose not to hear that Hey listen man
about the stripper yeah good
call okay little announcement little
announcement I decided that my best man
is my best friend
Gunther what's my last
name Central
Perk thanks for not marrying
Rachel hey who hey gur don't don't
forget your
shirt hey hey what are those got little
party favors check it
out wow yeah oh oh oh oh a
okay okay little announcement just want
everybody to know that the position of
my best man is still
open and uh you know so is the position
of the
Bride
great smooth man yeah you got some chili
on your
neck oh my gosh
Rachel my are you okay where's poo Rome
jerk mes light and then your face
exploded
no okay was at the airport getting into
a cab when this woman this blonde planet
with a pocketbook starts yelling at me
something about how it was her cab first
and then the next thing I know she just
starts starts pulling me out by my hair
you know and then so I blow in my attack
whistle thingy and and and three more
cabs show up
no as I'm going to get into a cab she
tackles me and I hit my head on the curb
and cut my lip on my
whistles oh everybody having fun at the
party are people eating my dip Joey is
having a secret Days of Our Lives Party
Up on the Roof and he sent you guys to
the play to get rid of you
what well what what's what's going on
Joey is having a secret Days of Our
Lives Party Up on the Roof and and he
didn't want you guys to know about it
but I came over here to tell
you I thought he came to say you were
sick all right Professor or
detective Joey's having a party and he
wasn't going to invite us yeah he does
it every year that's why he's sending
you to the play that's why he sent us to
that medieval restaurant and to that
button factory and that that horrible
Museum tour no I ran
that hey you guys I'm turning in have
fun you know about your party Joey what
party the game's over take off your
robe great I mean
Happ
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Applause]
birthday
birthday
hey she's not as pretty as she was when
she was
29 Miss green would like to establish
some ground rules before she comes out
you would appreciate it if you didn't
use the words old or downhill or they
still look pretty damn good
they
do Rachel come on out Monica made
breakfast chocolate chip
pancakes we've got
[Music]
presents good
ones they all came from the list you
handed out to us two weeks
ago well can I keep the presents and
still be
29 come on rage look turning 30 is not
that big a deal oh really is that how
you felt when you turned 30 why God why
okay thanks for coming I hope you guys
had fun all right Monica dear I'm going
to hit the road now I've left my 10
verbs on the table and you be sure and
send me that finished poem okay we'll do
I'm so glad you came I think I saw
Rachel out in the hall okay let me go
check oh all
right your mom wants to Say Goodbye Oh
happy birthday
sweetie okay
are you drive safe okay Ross what are
you
doing I'm getting ready for the water
skiing big one more big hug come on
big how are
you uh Dr B where you going to get my
coat all right all right I can get my
own coat
sorry we're on a major fla
high oh no no you're not supposed to be
here cuz this is the staging area you
should it's all wrong you should leave
you know just get
[Applause]
out or perhaps you'd like a creme DeMent
have to be heading toward my chatau
thank you oh all right well then I guess
we're going back into the hallway again
thanks for coming Mrs
[Applause]
Green
okay you take
care oh you kids
[Music]
well this is the best party I've been
toing
years thank you you decided to have a
Halloween party oh good yeah and
everybody has to wear
costumes come on it'll be fun well uh
I'll be there I mean I have to wear a
costume to all my classes that day
anyway so please tell me you're not
going to dress up like a
dinosaur not two years in a row
I I'll come to the party but I'm not
dressing up you have to no way look
Halloween is so stupid dressing up and
pretending to be someone you're
not you're an
actor so Ross are you going to bring
Mona yeah yeah I think I will the hot
girl from their wedding yeah well hey if
she needs any ideas for costumes she
could be a uh bikini model or
nurse or sexy cheerleader huh or o
Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre
no no no leather
face now wasn't Joey hitting on her at
the wedding
too that's right he was hitting on her
and I got her I guess the better man
won please don't take her from
me hi
[Music]
hi so which one of you lucky boys is
Chandler uh that that's
me that's
me Joey trani big
fan so is that a bedroom yeah yeah right
over there all right whenever you're
ready that was
weird why would you go in the bedroom
I'm waiting
so she's a yep that's one naked
hooker so tonight's the night of big
bachelor party yeah hey thanks for
giving me that girl's number no problem
say who's the party for for my husband
you hir your husband a
hooker she's a stripper no she's a
hooker is is that what they call
strippers sometimes when they're
hookers oh my god do I I can't believe
you did this now are you absolutely sure
she's a hooker it's either that or she's
just the best most expensive date I ever
had all right all right maybe maybe you
should just ask her to leave why me hey
it's your Bachelor part which is why you
should do it I don't want to you do it
you do it you do it all right rock paper
scissor who has to tell the to
leave
what I missed this I don't think we've
actually done this before no no no no I
I miss hanging out with you well we we
still hang out yeah not like we used to
remember you and me used to be
Inseparable you know now it's like
things are different well you know
things are different I'm I'm married now
yeah sure and hey don't get me wrong I
am so happy for you guys but I just I
miss hanging out just just us you
know yeah I miss that too okay I'll tell
you what for now on we'll make time to
hang out with each other you got it come
here oh god listen I am this close to
robbing you
guys she's a hooker she's a hooker she's
a hi we spoke on the phone I just wanted
to let you know I've changed my mind I'm
going to do it I'm going to kiss Joey no
you can't friends hooking up is a bad
idea please what about you and Chandler
that's different I was drunk and stupid
well
[Music]
hello what about all the guys that you
got the phone numbers from what why
don't you just kiss one of them I could
I could but I don't want to I want to
kiss
Joey all right I think it's a big
mistake but it's it's your decision
I'm going to do it and I can't stop you
[Music]
[Music]
no hey Rich have you seen Charlie
anywhere I'm smarter than him look had
it yeah well we called everyone in your
phone book and a bunch of people came
but it took us so long to get you here
that they they had to leave we wanted to
throw you a big surprise in a great
shower and and now you don't have either
we ruined everything oh no wait a minute
that's not true no what you did that was
really
sweet and it kind of works out for the
best what do what do you mean well now I
get to spend my shower with the only
people I really love I mean and I get
all those presents without having to
talk to a bunch of people I don't even
like surprise Monica and finally our
biggest item of the night the 22 foot
gentleman's day sailor sailboat the
winning bid was a whopping
$20,000 I
won that was my
guess what what what I guess
20,000 Joey it is an auction you don't
guess you
buy
what I don't have 20,000 congratulations
on your new boat Joey
trivani sit down forget her you enjoy
this
wow what were you thinking I didn't know
it was an auction what I figured I'd
take a guess help a charity free
boat why would a charity give away a
free boat I don't know
charity well just buy the damn
boat pH don't you think you've had
enough to drink I'm just helping the
kids how is you drinking helping the
kids because the more I drink the less
there is for the kids to
drink Mr tribiani your generous
contribution brings us a big step closer
to building the youth center just out of
curiosity how how much is that boat
worth I think it was valued at
19,000 yeah that was pretty
close uh so bad news um I can't buy the
boat I don't have any money
Joey Joey good one you're
silly very
good so uh listen I think I'm going to
take off now hey can leave Joey you
agreed to buy that boat all right it is
a contract and plus if you leave my boss
is going to kill me well what am I gonna
do rage I don't have that kind of money
I know okay okay okay okay all right all
right this is what we're gonna do we're
going to go to the next highest bidder
and we're just going to let them buy it
and then you're just going to pay the
difference okay look I don't know why
the kids need a youth center anyway you
know they should just watch TV after
school like I did and I turned out
fine not
great ra ra okay the next highest bidder
is at table one oh great oh and uh the
guy who got the Paris trip is at table
four oh okay why do you care about the
guy won the Paris trip it's a trip for
two excuse
me excuse me is the person who won the
Paris trip at this table that was me oh
TI uh excuse me is there a Mr Bowmont at
this table that's me ah yeah well hello
this is your lucky day Mr bont the uh
gentleman day sailor has just become
available again and I believe that you
made a bid of $188,000 yeah you have to
pay that it's not just a guess
okay I was actually relieved uh I didn't
win the boat my wife would have killed
me are you kidding me she's going to
love this boat yeah what what is your
wife's name it's pam pam oh God just
imagine this the Pam oh
I don't think she'd like
that okay imagine this the Mr
Bowmont I don't think so dear okay look
let me paint you a little picture all
right you are set and sail up the Hudson
you got the wind in your
HS you you get all that peace and quiet
that you've always wanted you get back
to Nature you can go fishing you can you
can get one of those little hats and
have people call you captain
and that when you're old
Cappy what the hell it's for a good
cause all right no way it's mine
what what all that stuff you just said I
want that but Joey you don't have
$20,000 who cares I I'll make payments
whatever it takes I want the Mr
bman hi Sandy Sandy hi come on in
you brought your kids yeah that's okay
right you know when I saw you at the
store last week it was probably the
first time I ever mentally undressed an
L wow that's uh dirty
yeah hey
kids time we're in a virtual snowstorm
of confetti here in Time Square it gets
big Go
kids and then the peacock bit
me please kiss me at
midnight you seen Sandy ooh uh I don't
know how to tell you this but uh she's
in Monica's bedroom getting it on with
Max that scientist
geek oh look at that I didn't know how
to tell
you everybody the ball is driving
what the ball is
ding in seconds it'll be midnight and
the moment of joy is upon us looks like
that no date pack thing worked
out everybody looks so happy I hate them
not everybody's happy hey
Bobby you know I uh thought I'd throw
this out here I'm no math whz but I do
believe there are three girls and three
guys right here
M oh I don't feel like kissing anyone
tonight I can't kiss anyone so I'm
kissing everyone no no no you can't kiss
kiss Ross that's your brother oh yeah
perfect perfect so now everybody's going
to kiss but me all right somebody kiss
me somebody kiss me it's midnight
somebody somebody kissed me it's
midnight it's one
[Music]
[Applause]
time talking about who could kick whose
ass in a fight you or Ross there's no
question so you think Ross
too you picked Ross Ross is really
strong but he's the strongest out of all
three of you except for
Joey I cannot believe you didn't pick me
uh in her defense she's right I am
stronger I would destroy
you oh really you think you're stronger
why don't you prove
it oh I'll prove it I'll prove it like a
theorem wait okay stop it stop it stop
now there's no one's going to fight in
this apartment hey Monica people came to
see a fight let's give them what they
came for
hey you guys could arm wrestle yeah
listen to the
nurse you're going down oh yeah you're
going further down downtown seriously
guys the trash talk is
embarrassing coffee will'll get
energized and we'll head back out all
right
okay so we're having fun right we don't
need that wizard guy we hit a couple of
clubs talk to some strangers and after
this we'll go down to the docks and see
about that boat
thing I'm kind of
beat
actually me
too you serious yeah yeah thank God I'm
exhausted so you guys want coffees yeah
but uh I don't want to be up too late so
I'll have a Decap yeah me
too actually can I get some hot water
with a little
lemon a Rin my voice screaming in there
does it have to be so
loud I can't hear a word you're saying
my ears are ringing so bad I'm just glad
I brought that extra pair of socks you
know I used them as mittens I didn't
want to touch a thing in that last
place how sad are
we yeah I
know you know what we're not sad we're
not sad we're just not 21 anymore you
know I'm 29 years old damn it and I want
to sit in a comfortable chair and watch
television and go to sleep at a
reasonable hour yeah yeah and I like to
hang out in a quiet place where I could
talk to my friends yeah and so what if I
like to go home throw on some Kenny G
and take a
bath we're 29 we're not women they make
these great novelty cakes in all
different shapes and if you give them a
photo they'll copy it nicing oh did you
do a picture of Emma yes on a cake
shaped like a bunny uh rage does this
Bakery by any chance also bake erotic
cakes say for bachelorette
parties what are you talking oh my God I
put my baby's face on a
penis now it's a
[Applause]
party wa you guys this isn't funny all
right if I wanted this cake to be a des
master I would have baked it
myself uh is it okay that I still think
it looks
delicious CH look at this I know what
you're thinking Judy the resemblance is
uncanny I am this close to tugging on my
testicles
again no no this is not what I ordered
okay I went all the way to New Jersey so
that I could have the perfect cake for
my daughter's birthday and I need a
bunny cake right now ask him if it would
be faster if we cut the baby's face off
the penis so we could put it on the
bunny that is a weird
sentence Oh believe you me I am going to
bring this cake back I don't even want
it in my home Joy don't touch it I'm so
confused yes yes I still want my
daughter's picture but on a bunny cake
yell yellow cake chocolate frosting with
nuts to be fair this one does have
nuts what did you just say you roll
another hard eight and we get married
here
tonight are you serious yes I love you
I've never loved any of you as much as I
love I've never loved anybody as much as
I love you okay so if an eight comes up
we take it as a sign and we do it what
do you
say okay
[Applause]
okay that's a four and where where
where's the other one went under the
table nobody moved you look that way I
look this
way here it is here it
is that could be a four or a
five it's your call
before I think so
too
um oh
why we been together I don't
know do you do you have do you have any
clothes
on yes really
no but we we didn't
have sex did
we I mean I don't remember much about
last night it was such a
blur oh I remember laughing I laughed a
lot then we didn't have
sex
oh oh I mean we were really drunk I was
glad we didn't do anything stupid tell
me about
it God look at him he's so cute just
want to go over there grab him and kiss
him how could I kiss him without letting
him know the I like him oh hey I know
how you can get him take off your
bra what there was a scene in foot loose
Flash Dance yeah yeah yeah with that
that uh plumber girl she was a
welder were you like in the movie
or anyway she takes off her bra under
the shirt and pulls it out the sleeve
very sexy and classy
or if you want to kiss him um you could
use mistletoe oh it's not Christmas or
spin the bottle he's not
11 thank you so much for this it was
really so thoughtful what you're leaving
yes we have something we have to get to
yeah I think I'm going to take off too
actually no you guys you can't leave yet
you have to stay we we've got the whole
big thing
planned what big thing so spin the
bottle works like this I spin the bottle
lands on Gunther so I would have to kiss
Gunther all
right who wants to go first okay
[Applause]
okay welcome to
[Applause]
America go two in a row you got to use
your tongues now
[Laughter]
what are the odds what are the
odds okay that that's enough you know
let let's let someone else
[Applause]
play if you didn't want to play then
why'd you come to the
party okay my
turn oh
look at that oh my
God oh my God the baby just kicked it's
okay it's okay kick once it'll kick
again I love all right well everybody
just remember where they were
sitting people I want you to take a
piece of paper here you go and write
down your most embarrassing memory oh
and I do ask that when you're not using
the markers you put the Caps back on
them because they will dry
out listen you guys um I don't mean to
be a pain about this but um I've noticed
that some of you are just placing them
on you want to push the
Caps until you hear them click
gun where are you going I um was sort of
thinking about maybe no no you can't go
no this is fun come on we're just
getting started here here's your
marker listen if you want to go just go
no she'll yell at me
again all right I can get you out
what in a minute I'm going to create a
diversion
when I do walk quickly to the door and
don't look
back okay the first person's most
embarrassing memory is Monica your party
sucks right very
funny oh no did someone forget to use a
coaster
what I don't see
anything great I'm sing water rings
again okay she's taking the trash out so
I can get you out of here but it has to
be now she'll be back any minute what
about my friend Victor no only the three
of you any more than that and she'll get
suspicious all right let me just get my
coat there isn't
time just leave everything they'll take
care of you next
door is it true they have
beer everything you've heard is true
could you guys please try to keep it
down we're trying to start a bosle
tournament you and you you're supposed
to be at my party and
gun what are you doing here
um hey welcome to the pH
phie all right I'm sorry but these
people needed me you know they work hard
all week it's Saturday night they
deserve to have a little fun
go you know my party is fun I maybe it's
a little quieter less obvious sort of
fun but you know if people would just
give it a chance it's
so okay this way is on so this is
off did you just break the radiator no
no I was turning the knob and and here
it
is well put it
back it uh it won't go back call the
super here let me try oh oh that's right
I forgot about your ability to fuse
metal hey it's Funny's cousin not funny
hi Mr trigger hi it's Rachel Green from
upstairs yes somebody uh broke our knob
on the radiator and it's really hot in
here yes it's it's hot enough to bake
cookies well do you think we could have
a new one by
6 what no no Tuesday we can't wait until
Tuesday we're having a party tonight
okay tip the man no if he doesn't like
our cookies too bad I'm not going to be
blackmailed look if worse comes to worse
it gets a little a little warm we'll
call it a theme party hey here's a theme
come on in live like
bacon hi Welcome to our tropical
Christmas party you put your coats and
sweaters and pants and shirts in the
bedroom it's hard to tell because I'm
sweating but I use exactly what the gel
bottle
says an amount about the size of a pee
yeah how how can that be too
much
ice ice ice squares anyone take a
napkin all right Monica Monica Monica
your guests are turning into jerky okay
really I'm perfectly comfortable hey hey
hey get mine buddy I was
next we can't go now it looks like
Rachel's going to on a
skit oh my God have you lost your mind
no no no no no no I'm finally thinking
clearly my lucky dress wasn't working
out too well for me but for 4 years this
baby never missed Rachel Rachel I cannot
I can't
let actually I kind of want to see what
happens hey he nice uh costume oh yeah
well I wanted to give Emily a big
American goodbye cheer so
okay ready okay give me an e e give me
an m m give me an I I give me an l l
give me a y y what
again
Emily Emily
okay so that's be as a cheerleader
to fine I'm f i just listen to tooth
it's no piig I'm have a dentist you know
put some my son excuse
me okay what do I do now what do I do
now I think you're
done okay time to take off the
[Music]
bra uh that was really uh
great but I I got to take off actually
take
off all right come on let's go get your
coat
okay Rachel is my
girlfriend hey
hey what are you supposed to be remember
the Russian satellite
Sputnik well I'm a potato or a spud
and these are my
antenna so Sputnik
becomes spudnick spudnick
wow I don't have the worst costume
anymore hey right Ross came is
Duty no I'm I'm not Duty no space Duty
hey glad you get make it thanks for
coming oh my God Kyle
lder I love
you hey that's why I didn't invite you
you have to calm down all right just go
go get yourself a drink or something oh
yeah that's what you want my inhibition
is
lowered hey Joey said no autographs but
if she's getting one I want one too to
Monica and none of this best wishes crap
I want
love okay actually uh man Matthew was
was giving me his phone number oh man if
I had known I was coming to this party I
never would have gotten
married it's nice to meet you rich nice
to meet you call me we
will look at you with all the
guys guess you forgotten all about Joey
yeah well I guess I guess I have
forgotten about Joey and clearly you've
forgotten about Chandler
please Chandler the love of my life oh
leather pants have
mercy this is never going to work he's
right there so just go over and say hi
no I have to go downstairs come back up
as if I'm coming home from the rata gala
okay so just go distract him but don't
be
sexy hey Danny hey hey going on that a
great party great food
you know most parties it's it's all
chips and salsa chips and
salsa
so what's this salad
oh and and what's
this
bread aren't you
Chef hey Rachel hey all right tonight
with your part
oh you're great I'm glad you can make it
oh yeah well you know the gala had to
end
sometime don't go anywhere be right back
yeah right
sure all right who courts the ball in
now I thought there wasn't a
ball come on he's glad that I came he
doesn't want me to go anywhere balls
flying all over
the r this is my friend Tom this is the
girl I told you about oh come on you
telling people about
me you two could really hit it
off I'm going to go
mingle so you work at Bloomingdales huh
my mom calls it bloomies
[Music]
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