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I never going out with him again you
know I don't care how much he
begs I think his begging days are over
now that he's going out with Nancy
Branson you know what I've just had it
with high school boys they're just silly
they're just silly stupid boys I'm going
to start dating
men uh I'm sorry Judy I couldn't find
that bowl you and Jack were looking
for call them mom and dad you
loser want to
cook hi
again
hey hey thank you so much oh don't thank
me thank the jerk that never showed up
okay I got to get to
work you want some help with that oh no
thanks I got it oh no I don't who
okay
yeah stood up too fast got a little Head
Rush the
Heat and and the
humidity that's a uh that's a tough
[Laughter]
[Music]
combination do you want to come in for
some lemonade like you wouldn't
believe here
oh wow this is a great
place thank
you just make yourself
comfortable
gotcha this place is really my
[Applause]
grandmother's I got it from her when she
moved to Florida otherwise I could never
afford a place like this
[Applause]
so if the landlord ever asks I'm an 87y
old woman who's afraid of her VCR you
thirsty oh you bet I
am okay here's your
[Applause]
penis oh my God what the hell are you
doing you said you want to come in for
some lemonade
so wow were you just going to give me
Lemonade
yeahuh cover yourself up oh right sorry
I don't believe this I mean someone ask
you in for lemonade and to you that
means they want to have sex um usually
yeah well not just lemonade iced tea
sometimes
juice look sorry I just thought you
liked me such a
jerk it's okay
I suppose it could happen to anyone not
anyone I know
but by the way I can still see
it let that go okay I mean you were the
most beautiful woman in the room
tonight really are you kidding you're
the most beautiful woman in most
room whoa whoa whoa what's going on you
and I just made out you and I are making
out well not
anymore but we don't do that I know I
just thought it would be
fun how drunk are you drunk enough that
I know I want to do this not so drunk
that you should feel guilty about taking
advantage that's a perfect
amount you know what's weird what this
doesn't feel weird I know you're a
really good kisser well I have kissed
over four
women you want to get another the covers
uhhuh
[Laughter]
okay wow you are really fast it bodess
well for me that speed impresses
you we're going to see each other naked
yep you want to do it at the same time
count of three one two two
three well I think it's safe to say that
our friendship is effectively ruined and
we weren't that close
anyway
hello
hello
B Joey what's going
on oh my God I know it's
stuck step how did he get on I put it on
to scare
Chandler oh my God Monica's going to
totally freak out well then help me get
it off plus what it smells really bad in
here of course it smells really bad you
have your head up a dead animal
[Laughter]
oh you get the turkey oh my God oh my
God who is that it's
Joey what what are you doing and is this
supposed to be funny no it's not
supposed to be funny it's supposed to be
scary get that off now I can't it's
stuck I don't care that that turkey has
to feed 20 people at my parents house
and they're not going to eat it off your
head hold on okay let's just I'll
think okay I got it deie all right you
pull I'm going to spread the legs as
wide as I
can Joey now it's not the time sorry
right okay count to three one two three
a it worked I scared you I knew
it I'm over here big guy yeah you
are I can't believe you came
back don't say
anything I don't want to speak I don't
want to think I just want you to take me
and kiss me and make love to me right
here right now
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
Rachel
Rachel what you missed the
exit oh sorry my God what were you
thinking
about um
Barry
a I needed that car for transportation
okay I I have a child how hot do I look
in this
huh l a sports car wouldn't it be
cheaper to just stuff a sock down
there that's not what this is about okay
I I am a sports car Enthusiast I've
always been into cars hey what's the
horsepower on this thing I don't know
but but look how
shiny I can't believe you bought this so
can I have a ride St hop
in get ready for the smoothest ride of
your life
damn
it okay who's
next and you if I get really hot um I I
like to pick up this knife and and um I
I put the the cold steel against
um my
body are you all right yeah I'm fine
it's
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
what do we got here 20-year-old male
he's got a sever toe on his right
foot could you please not do that feet
first you know where his injury is SE to
you just said
it says here the knife went right
through you shoe of course it did
they're made of
wicker did you bring the toe oh yes I
have it right here on
Ice don't worry son we'll just reattach
it and then what what is it you brought
a
carrot what this isn't your toe this is
a small very cold piece of
carrot you brought a carrot oh my God
there's a toe in my kitchen
happy
[Music]
birday it's your
birthday
hey she's not as pretty as she was when
she was
29 Miss green would like to establish
some ground rules before she comes out
she would appreciate it if you didn't
use the words old or downhill or they
still look pretty damn good
they
do Rachel come on out Monica made
breakfast chocolate chip
pancakes we've got
[Music]
presents good
ones they all came from the list you
handed out to us two weeks
ago can I keep the presents and still be
29 come on rage look turning 30 is not
that big a deal oh really is that how
you felt when you turned 30 why God why
Rachel Ready or Not Here Comes Your
night and shiny oh
no oh dear Jack how do I turn this off
press the button which one which button
Jack the button the
button I can't believe you did that
yeah
well see he's her Lobster
what kind of Photography uh do you do oh
mostly fashion so there may be models
here from time to time I hope that's
cool yes it is
cool uh because I have models here you
know
never what else oh yeah during the
summer I spend most weekends at my
sister's beach house which you are
welcome to use by the way although I
should probably tell you she's a porn
star
well listen I uh still have one more
person to uh meet but unless it turns
out to be your
sister I think your chances are pretty
good all
right who are you hi I'm Eric I'm going
to be Chandler's new roommate I'm
Chandler's new
roommate I don't think so I could be
Chandler's new
roommate but he told me over the phone
he told me in person
that's weird well I'm going to uh going
to my new apartment
[Laughter]
now both wanted
to
interesting
anyway um probably worked out for the
the
best yeah sure okay in about 10 seconds
you're going to see him kiss me and in
about 5 Seconds you're going to see
why Ro I ever tell you about the time
that I went backpacking through Western
[Laughter]
Europe okay get ready to see some
begging oh you came on the
r what now I'm so
happy what are you talking about you use
the Europe story that's the magic story
you use when you want to have
sex how do you know about that story how
do you know about that
story I heard it from my friend Irene
who heard it from some guy some guy
no no she told me that his name was Ken
Adams
Adam hey hey check out the flyers for
the band I made him on a Macintosh in
the computer room awesome the name
really stands out thanks to a little
something called helvetica bold 24 point
man we're going to rock that Asian
Student
Union hey guys hey Miss hey Missy you
know our band is playing on Friday yeah
yeah you should come check us out we'll
call way no
way no way
way great I'll be there fresh boss she's
gone I know
it you know I'm totally going to ask her
out dude I was going to ask her out I
said at first bro well I thought at
first
holes look if you did wait wait what are
we
doing what we have is too important to
mess it up over some girl I mean we can
get laid anytime we want
totally I had sex in high school me too
I'm good at
it all right I say we make a pack
neither of us will go out with Miss
Goldberg you got
it all right so that's Missy Goldberg VB
Kates and Molly ringwalt who neither of
us can go out with those are the packs
oh and Sheena Easton but we probably
couldn't get her
anyway maybe not you I know my life's
gone pretty well but I look around and I
just see so many people who have
accomplished so many of their goals by
the time they're 30 yeah but you
shouldn't compare yourself to
me do baby
there you
[Applause]
[Music]
go did it one mile on a hippity hop
that's it that's everything I wanted to
do before I was 30 oh except I wanted to
patch things up with my sister oh but
Y and and girls this thing is a godsend
if you know what I mean
woo
[Music]
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