By
Viewed
1,033,369
Please choose the correct answer for each question below:
Questions: 0/613
Correct: 0
Translate:
you are dead meat I didn't know it was a
big
secret oh it's not big not at all you
know kind on the same lines as say oh I
don't know having a third
nipple you have a third
nipple you
whip it out whip it out oh come on
there's nothing to see it's just a tiny
bump it's totally useless oh is as a
supposed to your other multifunctional
nipples I can't believe you you told me
it was a
nubbin joy what do you think a nubbin
was I don't know you see something you
hear a word I thought that's what it
[Music]
was Joey m
Joey Chandler what are you still doing
here I thought you guys took off oh no
no no she took off with my
clothes are you naked in there well not
exactly wearing
panties
huh you uh you always wear
panties no no this is the first
time wow talk about your bad luck I mean
the first time you try panties and
someone walks off with your
clothes I was not trying them out Susie
asked me to wear them well let me see
no I'm not letting you or anybody else
see ever all right all
right
whoa someone's flossing
Joey some people don't like
that Chandler's wearing panties what let
me see no no you don't have to
see hi
tushy all right one of you give me your
underpants oh no no no can't help you
I'm not wearing
any how can you not be wearing any
underwear oh I'm getting heat from the
guy in the hot pink thong
all right look Ross I'll give you $50
for your
underpants
[Music]
[Music]
hey I have had enough of this all right
Gunther these guys are trying to take
our
seat tell us these guys were here first
oh sorry didn't realize there you go
thank you
Gunther we didn't want to have to go and
do
that he told on
us you told on us well pal you didn't
give me much of a
choice don't play with his thing I
know all
right let's take this
outside let's let's take this
outside who talks like
that the guy who's about to kick your
ass talks like that you had to ask
yeah okay okay look see
the thing is we're we're not going to
fight you
guys well then here's the deal you won't
have to so long as you never ever show
your faces in this coffee house ever
again what have you been up to oh you
know teaching
aerobics partying way too
much oh and in case you were wondering
those are my legs on the new James Bond
poster
can you hold on a moment I have another
call I love her I
know I'm back so are we going to get
together or what uh absolutely uh how
about tomorrow afternoon do you know uh
Central Perk in the village say fiveish
great I'll see you then
okay
okay having a phone has finally paid
off okay even though you do do a good
Bob impression I'm thinking when she
sees you tomorrow she's probably going
to realize hey you're not
Bob I am hoping that when Bob doesn't
show up she will seek comfort in the
Open Arms of the Ry stranger at the next
table oh my God you are pure
evil okay pure
evil horny and
alone I've done this there's only one
banana nut muffin left oh well order
first yeah but I'm I'm so much
faster give it to me no give it to
me okay you can have
it there you go enjoy your
coffee that was there when I got
here hey you guys you will never guess
who's coming coming to New York quick
Phoebe tell us before you can swallow
okay Ryan that guy I went out with who's
in the
Navy you went out with a guy in the Navy
yeah I met him when I was I'm playing
guitar in Washington Square Park Ryan
threw in saltwater taffy cuz he didn't
have any change hey is that when you
wrote saltwater taffy man
no no he is my submarine guy he
resurfaces like every couple years and
we have the most amazing three days
together only this time he's coming for
two weeks two whole weeks which means
yay so wait this guy goes down for like
two years at a
time that'll teach you to lick my
muffin
hi oh no what happened I just spoke to
Carol Ben's got the chicken poox you
kidding yeah so if you haven't already
had it chances are you're going to get
it well I've had it yeah I've had it had
it had it well I haven't ever had it I
feel so left out oh
look wow I I don't know what to
say what do you say I don't
know it's a bracelet isn't it and it's
engraved too check it
out to my best bud
[Laughter]
thanks best
bud put it on oh
now no no I think something this nice
should be Sav for a special occasion oh
no no that's the beauty part it goes
with
everything put this on you're good to
go man you are so wearing that
bracelet I show I am hey whoa oh you
want some of this huh you want a piece
of this huh you standing here huh hey
hey those guys are taking her
stuff get out
[Applause]
way God that was that was amazing that
was incredible you guys you guys kicked
butt us what about you guys man you
really Bing gave it to all Mr Clean back
there he was a big guy yeah he was
wasn't he I wouldn't know having missed
everything oh don't do that to you
yourself any one of us could have
tripped over that little girl's jump
rope so listen guys are we
uh are we okay
here we're okay all right okay so can I
have my hat
back
no
huh man this is weird weird you ever
realize C crunch his eyebrows are
actually on his hat that's what's weird
Joey the man's been captain of a cereal
for the last 40
years oh look what the spoon you licked
and and you
put you licked in you
put yeah so well don't you see how gross
that is I mean that's like you're using
my
toothbrush you use my toothbrush
well that was only cuz I used the red
one to unclog the
drain mine is the red
one oh God can open worms
everywhere hey why can't we use the same
toothbrush but we can use the same soap
because soap is
soap it's
selfcleaning all right well next time
you take a shower think about the last
thing I wash and the first thing you
wash
you will all be pleased to know that I
have a date tomorrow
night this woman Allison from work she
is great she's pretty she's smart and uh
I've been holding off asking her out in
the past because she has a
uh unusually large
head but I'm not going to let that stuff
hang me up
anymore look at me I'm
[Applause]
growing oh my major was totally useless
I mean how often do you look in the
class classified and philosopher wanted
sure my God that's a big
head it didn't look this big in the
office maybe it's the lighting my head
must look like a golf ball at
work all right don't get hung up on it
quick quick list five things you like
about her nice smile good dresser big
head big head big
head what was that hi um I just thought
that it it would be fun if the three of
us had some beers and got to know each
other all right that sounds all right oh
good okay oh no I have to go because I'm
late for my um Green Eggs and Ham
Discussion
Group um tonight it's why he would not
eat them on a
train have fun bye that was so lame I
know
yeah hey talk to
him so you uh
you think that Speed Racer guy gets a
lot of tickets
or that's good that's good so so so who
broke up with who what are you kidding I
broke up with her she actually thought
that Shawn Penn was the capital of
Cambodia good me when everybody knows
that the uh the capital of Cambodia
is well it's not champan not
champan all right I got a funny one all
right my last girlfriend Tilly okay
we're eating breakfast right and I made
all these pant Pancakes there was like
50 pancakes right and all of a sudden
she turns to me all right and she says
Eddie I said yeah she says Eddie I don't
want to see you anymore and it was
literally like she had had reached into
my chest ripped out my heart and and
smeared it all over my life you know hey
Monica we got a question all right for
the zillionth time yes I see other women
in the shower at the gym and no I don't
look no not that one we're trying to
figure out who to bring to the Nicks
game tonight we have an extra ticket
yeah Ross can't go so it's between my
friend Eric prow who has breath issues
and Dan with the poking did you see that
play do you want some more beer is that
LE
okay he why don't you ask
Richard okay uh hey Richard if you had
an extra ticket to the Knicks
game and you had to choose between a
friend who smelled and one who bruises
you who would you pick wow well being a
huge Nicks fan myself I think you should
take someone who's a huge Nicks
fan okay that's
Eric glad to be of help
matches I meant why don't you take
Richard to the
game
what I don't know come on he keeps his
fingers to himself and he's always minty
fresh I rich it's really nice and
everything uh it's just so we don't know
know him really well you know and plus
he's you know
old or than some
people but uh younger than some
buildings just seems so feudal you know
all these women and
nothing I feel like Superman without my
Powers you
know I have the cape and yet I cannot
fly
[Laughter]
well now you understand how I feel every
single
day okay the world is my lesbian
wedding I shouldn't even bother coming
up with a line
right all right look
penisus okay we're all
people so how's your date with your
cyber chick going oh hey what is all
that oh it's a website it's the
Guggenheim Museum see uh she likes art
and I like funny
words what does she mean by
HH it means we're holding
hands are you the cutest I'm afraid I
might just
be you know what I think is so great
that you are totally into this person
yet for all you know she could be like
90 years old or have two heads
or it could be a
guy okay it's not a guy all right I know
her it could be like a big giant
guy I am not interested in the guy's
apartment oh please I saw the way you
were checking out his
moldings you want it why would I want
another apartment huh I've already got
an apartment that I love well it
wouldn't kill you to say it once in a
while
all right you want the truth I'm
thinking about
it what I'm sorry I'm 28 years old I've
never lived alone and I'm finally at a
place where I got enough money that I
don't need a roommate anymore whoa whoa
whoa I don't need a roommate either okay
I can afford to live here by myself you
know I may have to bring in somebody
once a week to lick the
silverware what are you getting so bent
out of shape for huh it's not like we
agreed to live together forever we're
not Burt
Ernie hi it's me oh my
God Janice you called
Janice yes Janice why is that so
difficult for you to comprehend you
remember Janice
right yes she was smart she was pretty
and she honestly cared about me Janice
is my last chance to have
somebody
hello oh my
God jeez look how fat she
got hey it's
[Music]
everybody Janice you're yes I
am is it is it yours ha You Wish
Chandler
Bing you are looking at a married lady
now oh
yes
congratulations oh sweetie I'm sorry you
couldn't have told me about this over
the phone and what miss the expression
on your face oh no Janice likes to have
her
fun peon Sandy just made
them yeah all
right what are these raising
uh sure why
not listen Eddie
um I've been thinking about our current
living situation and uh why are you
smiling I got a little surprise look got
a new fishy I named him uh Chandler you
know after after you
[Laughter]
well that's not even a real
fish no that's a Goldfish
cracker so what's your point
man okay good night you big freaking
nature listen Bing I received your memo
so we're not going to see the systems
report until next Friday well the people
in my group want to spend the holiday
weekend with their family I have a
family I'm going to be here yeah Bing
what's that
about it's about cutting my people a
little slack you know for morale look if
you want to see some rough numbers I can
get them to you by Wednesday rough
numbers this company was not built on
rough numbers am I right
Mr have the final numbers on my desk by
Tuesday if you say so
sir Joseph's good isn't
he well I'm going to kill
you hey hey I just figured Joseph's the
kind of guy who likes to mix it up you
know get in there ruffle some
feathers
why look I'm sorry but that's what
Joseph
does okay if you try to pull something
he'll call you on it what do trying to
pull he'll
say you had sex today wow it sounds even
cooler when somebody else says
it I was awesome okay she was biting her
lip to stop from screaming wow now I
know it's been a while but I took that
as a good
sign still doing the screening thing I
had sex
today I never have to answer that phone
again
comes to be you know what to
do hey Bob it's Jade listen I just
wanted to tell you that I was really
hurt when you didn't show up the other
day and just so you know I ended up
meeting a
guy Bob here oh hi so uh you met someone
huh yes yes I did in fact I had sex with
him two hours
ago so uh how was he
[Applause]
eh oh Bob he was nothing compared to
you I had to bite my lip to keep from
screaming your
name well that makes me feel so
good it was just so awkward and bumpy
well maybe he has some kind of uh new uh
cool style that you're not familiar with
and uh maybe you have to get used to it
well there really wasn't much time to
get used to it if you know what I mean
it's 6:30 in the morning we're not
working out it's
over no way with one pound to go come on
we're working we're moving we're in this
Z we're
grooving okay I don't I don't mind the
last pound okay in fact I kind of like
the last pound
okay so don't make me do anything that
I'll
regret what you going to do fat boy
huh
what nothing except tell you uh I think
it's wonderful how much energy you have
well thanks I mean especially
considering how tough it's been for you
to find
work you
know you know I mean you can't tell your
parents you were fired because they'd be
disappointed
uh-huh and it's not as if you have a
boyfriend's shoulder to cry
on well no but I I mean if it were me I
think I'd have difficulty just getting
out of bed at
all you know I try to stay
positive so
you you feel like going for a run
all right because you know you don't
have to if you want you could just take
a nap right
here
okay just for a little while
[Music]
[Applause]
okay hey oh where is he where Richard
did you ditch him yeah right after we
stole his lunch money and gave him a
wedgie what's the matter with you he's
Park in the car don't you guys have fun
your boyfriend is so cool really yeah he
let us drive his Jaguar joy for 12 blcks
me for 15
wow he must like you the
best oh and what about that thing he did
when he tipped the guy who showed us to
our seats you never even saw the money
it was like this hey Chandler thanks for
showing us to our seats
you're welcome hey Joey thanks for
parking the car no
problem hey chanler I think they get it
okay there's the man
hey hey you're getting better I'm going
to keep this by the
way he kept my dollar hey you didn't
microwave that did you because it's
breast milk and you're not supposed to
do that duh I think I know how to eat
breast milk
okay what did you just
do I licked my arm what it's breast
milk oh baby that is that is juice
squeezed from a
person what is the big deal no
no what did you just
do okay can people stop drinking the
breast
milk you won't even taste it no not even
if you just pretend that it's milk not
even if Carol's breast had a picture of
a missing child
[Music]
on
hey how did we do oh I tasted Ben's milk
and Ross freaked out I did not freak out
why' you freak out because it's breast
milk it's gross my breast milk is
gross this should be
fun no no Carol there's nothing wrong
with it I just I just don't think breast
milk is for adults of course the
packaging does appeal to grown-ups
and Ross you were being silly I've tried
it it's no big deal come on just taste
it that would be
no it's natural it doesn't taste bad
yeah tastes kind of sweet sort of like
uh like what cantaloupe juice
exactly you've tasted
it you you you've tasted it
uh-huh oh you've tasted
it you can keep saying it but it won't
stop being true
give me the
bottle get me the towel
[Music]
[Laughter]
my
B listen
uh I don't know what I'm going to see
you again well I'm guessing uh tonight
at the coffee house right yeah okay uh
take care yeah
[Music]
[Music]
you know you should go outside and be
with the three-dimensional
people no inside
good outside bad
you guys are so pathetic oh oh Z
Jo she's one of us
now hi you guys hey
hey now we just want to stop by and uh
say good night good
night look at that they won't even turn
their heads all right you guys taking
off my shirt
[Applause]
nah she's lying where is she where is
she oh hey I have a question where is
she oh Chandler relax Chandler shall be
here oh oh oh that's her yeah cuz life's
just that
kind Chandler you got to stop staring at
the door it's like a watched pot you
know if you keep looking at it then the
door is I'm never going to
boil I think what you have to do is try
not
to oh my
God
oh
my
God
oh my God
hello hey Hey listen I'm I'm sorry I
didn't make it over there today oh
that's okay you uh you had a
thing yeah well I hear the place looks
great oh forget about it I'm having a
ball how's the apartment doing oh hey
it's it's terrific I mean it's a regular
space
Fest oh well great yeah I just you know
wanted to call and say
hey well okay
then was that the oven
timer that's right my friend it's time
for B
[Music]
watch can you believe they gave
Stephanie skin cancer I still can't
believe they promoted her to
Lieutenant a you're just saying that cuz
you're in love with Yas Meine bleed well
how could anyone not be in love with
yasm ble
[Music]
Le hey hey they're
running see this is the Brilliance of
the
show i' say always keep them
running all the time running
run run run yes mean run
like hey
pal Eddie what are you still doing here
uh just some basic dehydrating of a few
fruits and vegetables man alive this
thing's
Fantastic look Eddie aren't you
forgetting anything oh yeah that's right
look I got a a new goldfish he's a lot
feistier than the last one yeah maybe
cuz the last one was made by pepp
Farm look Eddie isn't there something
else you're supposed to be doing right
now well not unless it's got something
to do with dehydrating my man cuz right
now I'm a dehydrating
Mania look you have to help me out here
I thought we had a deal I thought by the
time I got you know what that
is your last roommate's
kidney that's a that's a
tomato this one definitely goes in the
display you see the display
[Music]
Related Songs