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listen uh you want to go get a drink or
something yeah
if oh what's wrong I just remembered I
have to do something oh what
um leave oh wait wait wait wait
[Laughter]
[Applause]
I'm helping out down at the NYU med
school with some uh research what kind
of
research uh just you know
science
science yeah I think I've heard of
that it's a fertility
study
Joey please tell me you're only donating
your time
all right come on you guys it's not that
big a deal really I mean I just go down
there every other day and make my
contribution to the
project hey hey but at the end of two
weeks I get
$700 wow oh you're going to be making
money hand over
fif
happy no I uh just thought I'd throw
this out here I'm no math whz but I do
believe there are three girls and three
guys right here
mhm I don't feel like kissing anyone
tonight I can't kiss anyone so I'm
kissing everyone no no no you can't kiss
Ross that's your brother oh yeah perfect
perfect so now everybody's going to kiss
but me all right somebody kiss me
somebody kiss me it's midnight somebody
kiss me somebody kiss me it's midnight
it's one
[Music]
what nothing nothing just Your Overcoat
sounds remarkably like Brent musberger
check it out Giants
Cowboys you're watching a football game
at a funeral no it's the pregame I'm
going to watch it at the
reception you are a frightening
frightening
man what the matter with you
oh what you were supposed to be in there
so I could see your
thing sorry my my thing was in there
with
me hey Joey what's going on clear the
tracks for the booby payback Express
next stop Rachel
Green Joey what the hell are you doing
so sorry wrong
boobies Joey
peponi oh still too ethnic my agent
thinks I should have a name that's more
neutral Joey
[Laughter]
Switzerland plus you know I think it
should be Joe you know Joey makes me
sound like I'm know this big which I'm
not Joe Joe Joe Stalin
Stalin Stalin do I know that name that
sounds familiar well it does not ring a
bell with
me Joe
Stalin you know that's pretty
good you might want to try
[Applause]
Joseph Joseph Stalin
I think you'd remember that oh
yes bye-bye birdie starring Joseph
Stalin Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on
the
[Music]
Roof you know there already is a Joseph
[Laughter]
Stalin you're
kidding apparently he was this Russian
dictator who slaughtered all these
people you'd think you would have known
that you know you'd think I would
have kiddo you're going to be fine
believe
me uhoh
[Applause]
uh I'll just pee in the
street hey hey
hey and this from the cry for Health
Department are you wearing
makeup this I am as of today I am
officially Joey triani actor/model thank
you that's so funny cuz I was thinking
you look more like Joey triani man/woman
what were you modeling for oh you know
those posters for the city free clinic
oh wow so you're going to be one of
those healthy healthy healthy guys you
know the asthma guy is really
cute you know which one you're going to
be no but I hear lime disease is open so
you
know good luck man I hope you get it
thanks well you were right how can they
do this to us huh it's
Thanksgiving okay I tell you what how
about if I cook dinner at my place I'll
make it just like Mom
will you make the mashed potatoes with
the
lumps you know they're not actually
supposed to I'll work on the
lumps Joey you're going home right yeah
and I assume Chandler you're still
boycotting all the pilgrim
holidays yes every single one of
them and B you're going to be with your
grandma Yeah and and her boyfriend but
we're celebrating Thanksgiving in
December cuz he's
lunar BR he's doing it again
Marcel stop humping the land stop
humping now Marcel come come back come
here Marcel no no no not in my room I'll
get him Ross you've got to do something
about the humping what it's it's just a
phase well that's what we said about
Joey so how'd it go it was amazing you
know how you always think you're great
in bed the fact that you'd even ask that
question shows how little you know
me well it's like last night I I
couldn't do the thing that usually makes
me great so I had to do all this other
stuff and the response I got man oh man
was like a ticker tape
parade yes I know as it happens my room
is very very close to the parade
route it was amazing and not just for
her huh for me too it's like all of a
sudden I'm blind but all all my other
senses are heightened you know it's like
I was able to appreciate it on another
level I didn't know you had another
level oh
my
God hey it's bris
[Music]
okay I'm making a break for it I'm going
out the window no no no don't please
look I've been waiting for like forever
to go out with line just calm down calm
down calm down you set me up with a
woman I've dumped twice in the last 5
months
hey can you stop yelling you're making
me nervous
[Laughter]
and I can't go when I'm
nervous I'm sorry I'm sorry you're right
come on do it do it come
on
hey
Ur what are you doing here I've been
trying to call
you listen um oh no no no don't say
listen I know that listen I've said that
listen I'm sorry I don't get it what
happened what what about everything you
said under the
bridge yeah
um you know you should just forget about
what I said under the bridge I was
talking crazy that night I was so
drunk you don't drink that's right I
don't but I was I was drunk on
you Earth but okay yeah so it's not
going to work why is it because I'm
friends with
Phoebe if it was would you stop hanging
out with
her no no I I couldn't do that um then
yeah it's cuz of Phoebe
oh so you know it's either her or
me then uh then I'm
sorry you
know you're going to be really really
hard to get over I know
I don't know whether it's just cuz we're
breaking up or what but you have never
looked so
beautiful really
[Music]
thieves
yeah you pick one just pick one here how
about that one that's patio
furniture for what like people are going
to come in and think uhoh I'm outside
again
on what about the
birds I don't know Birds just don't say
hello sit here eat
something you pick one all right how
about the ladybugs oh so forget about
the birds but big red insects suggest
fine diamonds fine you want to get the
birds get the birds not like that I
won't Kip would have lik the birds
hi this guy says hello I want to kill
myself look you're feeling a lot of pain
right now you're angry you're hurting
can I tell you what the answer is strip
joints come on you're single have some
hormones see but I don't want to be
single okay I just I just I just want to
be married
again uh you know what
forget about me let's uh let's give you
another
turn me again sure why
not boy somebody's going to get a big
fruit basket
tomorrow oh I got to tell you Joey you
are nothing like I thought you would
be how do you mean
I don't know I I guess I just had you
pegged as one of those guys who are
always me me me but
you you're a
giver you're like the most generous man
I ever met I mean you're practically a
[Music]
woman hey
kicky what are you doing just trying to
get comfortable
can't sleep in my underwear well you're
going
to I've been thinking you know about how
I'm always seeing girls on top of
girls are they end to endend or tall
like
pancakes you know what I mean about how
I'm always going out with all these
women cuz I always figured when the
right one comes along I'll be able to be
a standup guy and Go the Distance you
know I'm looking at my dad thinking hey
you're not him you're
you when they were all over you to go
into your father's pipe fitting business
did you cave no no you decided to go
into the outof work actor
business and that wasn't easy but you
did
it and I'd like to believe that when the
right woman comes along you will have
the courage and the guts to say no
thanks I'm married
[Applause]
you really think so yeah I really do
thanks C get
off this is so unfair oh why is it so I
have a flaw big deal like Joey's
constant knuckle cracking isn't annoying
and Ross with his over pronouncing every
single word and Monica with that snort
when she laughs I mean what the hell is
that
thing I accept all those FL why can't
you accept me for
this does the knuckle cracking bother
everybody
well I I could live without
it was it like a little Annoying or is
it like when Phoebe chews her
head oh now don't listen to him fees all
right I think it's endearing oh you do
do
you hi Sandy Sandy hi come on
in you brought your kids yeah that's
okay right
you know when I saw you at the store
last week it was probably the first time
I ever mentally undressed an
Al wow that's uh
dirty
yeah hey kids
[Music]
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