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I sincerely hope the rest of your party
is returning nah just me all
alone dinner for six for
one well you boys are about to see
something really special
how is everything sir excellent the
Shrew in particular was
Exquisite well I hope you've got some
room left happy birthday to you happy
birthday to you happy birthday dear Joey
Joey
joy happy birthday to you it's the best
birthday
ever hey he so I'm late did I miss
anything well Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in
his
mouth 15 your personal
best so where were you oh on a date yeah
I met this girl on the train going to a
Museum upstate oh yeah how you meet her
Museum no answer
his okay it was just me and her at the
back of the train and I sat near the
doors so she'd have to pass by me if she
wanted to like switch cars she was
totally at my Mercy were you so late
because you were burying this
woman no I'm getting back now because
she lives in pypy she seems really great
but she's like 2 and 1 half hours away
how can she' be great if she's from
pipy okay that joke would have killed an
Albany done I did it h who's stupid now
this cake is amazing m my god get a
room I would get a room with this cake I
think I could show this cake a good
time if you had to what would you give
up food or sex
sex seriously answer
faster oh I'm sorry honey know when she
said sex I wasn't thinking about sex
with
you it's like a giant
hug Ross how about you with would you
give up sex or food food okay how about
um sex or
dinosaurs oh my God it's like Sophie's
Choice oh God what about you Joe what
would you give up sex or food uh
uh I don't know it's too hard no you got
to pick
one uh food no sex food TX food I don't
know oh God I want both I want I want
girls on
bread
[Applause]
turkey jelly those are my maternity
pants no no these are my Thanksgiving
pants well that's it I'm done
here come the meat
sweats well Joey we're all we're all
very proud of you yes I believe we can
expect a call from the president any
moment
now is there anything we can do for you
no just nobody press on my stomach you
can keep those pants by the
way what you got there is that pie
yeah you want some uh just cut me a
little
sliver a little
bigger I'm
bigger what are you afraid you're going
to run out cut me a real
piece get anything that's not Ralph
Lauren yeah I don't think so
Joe all right I guess this will be fun
Hey listen uh what are you what are you
doing tonight nothing what how how would
you feel about taking out my assistant
tag I'll
pay M I got to say it's going to take a
lot of money for me to go out on a date
with a
dude I'm not asking you to go on a date
with him really cuz I could kind of use
the money
no Joey just just he's new in town and I
know he doesn't have any guy friends
just take him to like a ball game or
something I'd really appreciate it yeah
okay sure no problem thank you oo hey
Donuts yeah
glad that you saved Ross in the car
backfired but it could have been a
bullet and you you know you didn't try
to save
me oh you're upset because you think I
chose Ross over you no I knew you could
take care of yourself you know I mean
Ross he needs help he's not Street like
us what it comes down to is you would
risk your life for Ross before you would
for me that's the bottom
line what no not exactly all right look
I I wasn't trying to save
Ross
okay my sandwich was next to
Ross all
right I I was trying to save my
sandwich from a
bullet I know it doesn't make much sense
much sense CH it was Instinct okay I
just went for it so you risked your life
for a sandwich I know it sounds crazy
but Chandler this is the greatest
sandwich in the
world so you didn't uh choose Ross
before me no I would never do that you
you're like my
brother really yeah in fact to prove how
how much you mean to
me
here thanks oh oh easy it's not a hot
dog how good is that
oh see mhm hey dude what are you
doing I thought you were showing me how
much I mean to you yeah with a bite
jeez we're so sorry we're late please
let us in so we can have dinner together
no everything's cold the turkeyy dried
out and the the stuffings all soggy yeah
and there's a bowl of cranberry sauce
that what happens to Cranberry sauce
nothing it's fine oh thank
God oh I just remembered we do have
something to eat Monica put something in
our oven this morning oh yeah hey you
touch that and you will be sorry guys I
listen to her the vein is bigger than I
ever seen
it oh my God it's Brussel
routs that's worse than no
food haha all you got it was Monica's
stinky brussel sprouts stinky please let
me stay on this side of the
door it all look so
beautiful the turkey the stuffing the
cranberries and a monkey could have made
them Hey listen guys we feel really
terrible he's doing that weird eye
contact thing don't look at him don't
look at him come on you guys we want you
to know we're very very
sorry right
guys I feel terrible
sorry but let's not ruin this day you
work so hard let's move past this and
try to have a nice meal all together the
floating heads do make a good
point yeah they do seem to feel pretty
bad so bad so bad so
bad
okay okay you two go get the dessert and
I'll let you in
dessert yeah I asked you and Phoebe to
pick up the pies you did remember right
pies oh we thought you said
prize
here grand supreme little darling
[Music]
congratulations my God you forgot the
pies well I can't believe this you
forced me to make dinner then you're an
hour late and you forget the one little
thing that I asked you to do really
girls not
cool well you manads aren't any better
you lied about going to the game you
knew it would make you late and you
still went anyway hey I'm getting a
little tired of this okay we said we're
sorry it's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes
a day of forgiveness it's a day to be
thankful don't make me come up
there too late for apologies fine let's
just go I don't need you stupid dinner
that would be a lot more convincing if
you weren't
drooling oh is that what that
is come on you guys let's just do our
own Thanksgiving yeah I'll cook yeah
let's go out
hey yeah you three have a nice
Thanksgiving the three of us yeah you
Chan and the
[Applause]
vain or you could just you know
what the hell are you
doing what the hell am I doing he just
broke my
fridge what what how do you know how do
you know it's even Broken Oh you think I
don't know what breaks my
fridge excuse
me well what do you know
broken that'll be
$400 Joey I saw you push
him you push
them Joey I did not break this okay that
has been broken for a
while Chan remember I told you about our
fridge uh-huh I still haven't gotten the
check for your half
yet do not give him any money I'm not
talking to you you broke my fridge my
star student you know you call me that
before so I took the liberty of
fashioning a star out of aluminum foil
now no pressure you like my cookies you
give me the
star wow a
star I know you all hate me and and I'm
sorry but I don't
care okay Joey you're up
next oh my God this is amazing you get
an A
I got an
A A in school hey I'm a
dork Joey I'm so proud of you I think
you should give him your star excuse
me he doesn't even know what he's doing
we're all beginners here nobody knows
what they're doing I do I'm a
professional
chef oh relax it's not a courtroom
drama if you're a professional chef what
are you doing taking introduction to
cooking yeah
I'm I'm sorry it's just that um well I
cook at this restaurant alesandro's and
um I just got a really bad review oh
alandr I love that place you do oh yes
you're an excellent Chef as a person
you're a little oh I'm totally crazy but
you like the
food very much okay then I don't stink
I'm a good Chef
okay who who I don't want to go I'm
having fun well actually did either of
you pay for this class hey hey hey if my
friend says it's time to go it's time to
go hey look at me I'm making
Jam 4:00 this morning where'd you get
fruit at 4 in the morning went down to
the docks bet you didn't know you can
get it wholesale I didn't know there
were
docks hey hey oh is it broken no I'm
going to wear this thing for a couple of
weeks did you tell the doctor you did it
jumping up and down on your
bed no had a whole story worked out but
then uh Chandler sold me out well I'm
sorry Joe I didn't think the doctor was
going to buy that it just fell out of
the
socket what is this
fruit Monica's making Jam who Jam I love
Jam hey how come we never have Jam at
our place because the kids need new
shoes one end of business people I'm
sick and tired of being depressed about
Richard I needed a plan plan to get over
my man what's the opposite of man
jam oh Joey don't it's way too
hot this will just be my
badge remember when you were a kid and
your mom would drop you off at the
movies with a Jar Jam and a little
they're so
[Music]
[Applause]
pretty m
m gone for more jars back later Monica
[Applause]
Geller they called the sperm bank today
they haven't sold a single unit of
triani
nobody wants my
product I mean I I I don't get it you
know I
mean maybe if they met me in
person honey you got a little thing in
your get
it
yeah I don't believe in these crazy
diets you know just everything in
moderation your muffins
uh I'll take those to
go for the
kids oh I know what I wanted to ask you
you were on the show years ago and then
they killed you off what happened there
it's so stupid I said some stuff in an
interview that I really shouldn't have
said but believe me that is not going to
happen
today understood so what did you say
back then oh I said that
come on Joey right I told you everything
I knew last night look it's not that big
a deal so Monica and Chandler are doing
it I cannot believe you would say that
sorry Monica and Chandler are making
love no I mean come on this is a huge
deal come on I I need more details like
who who initiated the first kiss I don't
know
is he romantic with
her I don't
know are they in
love I don't
know you don't know anything oh I know
one thing what they did it right there
on the couches also just so you know I'm
not going to make a turkey this year
what well Phoebe doesn't eat turkey
Phoebe turkeys are beautiful intelligent
animals no they're not they're ugly and
stupid and delicious
right it's it's not just Phoebe Will's
still on a diet Chandler doesn't eat
Thanksgiving food and Rachel's having
her aversion to poultry she is yeah did
you remember I had to leave the room the
other day when you had that roast
chicken yeah but I thought that was just
cuz I put the whole thing on my hand and
made it walk across the
table anyway it just doesn't seem worth
it to make a whole turkey for just three
people okay it's just it's it's a lot of
work but you got to have turkey on
Thanksgiving I mean Thanksgiving with no
turkey is like like for to July with no
apple pie or or Friday with no two
pizzas all right fine if it means that
much to you but just there's going to be
a ton left over no no there won't I
promise I will finish that turkey right
you're telling me you can eat almost an
entire turkey in one sitting that's
right cuz I'm a
tribiani this is what we
do I mean we may not be great thinkers
or or world leaders we don't read a lot
or run very fast but damn it we can eat
we love you and we're here for you luck
good luck
thanks hey ra you uh you want some
sandwich oh what is in that olive loaf
and hams spread no mayo oh no no cuz
Mayo that would make it gross hey hey no
oh oh oh run baby run no no no no please
oh I do so want to love all animals
please
no a bone get a bone you got a kidding
me look Kibbles B oh God all right get
the hell off my leg you yippy piece of
crap okay all right we have a problem
well why don't you just reach out and
take his
trampoline okay here I know what we can
do hey hey hey
no okay doggy get the get the
sandwich okay go get that sandwich get
the sandwich do doy go doggy get the
sandwich get okay Joy the dog will lick
himself but he will not touch your
sandwich what does that
tell well if he's not going to eat it I
will are you crazy Fe he's just a little
dog 385 what do you mean yesterday you
said I was too pretty to pay for stuff
it's just I can't because my manager
said that
I happy birthday birthday to you happy
birthday to you happy birthday dear
Annie Amy
Amy happy birthday to you hey hey that's
weird today's my birthday too yeah not
in here it
isn't happy birthday to
[Music]
you you're paying for that but no no no
it's her birthday you've sung happy
birthday to 20 different women
today but it really were no longer
authorized to distribute birthday
muffins
Joey got you the Joey special two
pizzas
Joe hello damn
it hello no Joey's not here right now
but I can take a message I
think he still got a chance for the part
oh that's great great news well no
obviously not for the actor who was
mauled by his
dog oh well that's great I will give
Joey the message thank you
yes okay
Mac
audition at
two
allergy
actor attacked
by
dog
not
flowers hey please tell me you got the
message what message the actor playing
Mac couldn't do it they needed to see
you at 2:00 what it's
6:00 I wrote I wrote it on the board I
wrote it on the board then I went all
over New York City looking for you I
went to Ross's I went to the coffee
house I went to any place that they make
sandwiches I can't believe this Chandler
sorry I I I don't know what to say well
you you might say
congratulations I saw the board I went
to the audition I got the
board is that supposed to be funny I was
really worried over here oh well I'm you
know sometimes that fake out thing is
just mean oh wow okay man I'm sorry I
did not mean to make you feel feel bad
well that's good because you didn't and
I'm incredibly happy for
you that's
mean hey he so you guys doing okay yeah
we talked and Monica made me see that I
overreacted a little bit and some things
in life are more important yeah
baby I'm really glad you guys are okay
but I just keep thinking what would
happen if if you two actually had hooked
up honey dinner's
ready what's my little chef got for me
tonight your
favorite fried stuff with
cheese Y and lots of
it thanks
sweetheart show you
you want to go yeah here we go here we
go here
we how you
[Music]
doing
hello
hello
baby joey what's going on
[Laughter]
oh my God I know it's
stuck step how did he get on I put it on
to scare
Chandler oh my God Monica's going to
totally freak out well then help me get
it off plus what it smells really bad in
here of course it smells really bad you
have your head up a dead
animal oh
[Laughter]
hey did you get the turkey B oh my God
oh my
God who is that it's
Joey what what are you doing and is this
supposed to be funny no it's not
supposed to be funny it's supposed to be
scary get that off now I can't it's
stuck I don't care that that turkey has
to feed 20 people at my parents house
and they're not going to eat it off your
head hold on okay let's just all
think okay I got it D all right you pull
I'm going to spread the legs as wide as
I
can Joey no it's not the time sorry
right okay count to three one two
three it worked I scared you I knew
it I'm over here big guy yeah you are
[Music]
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