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[music] In what John Houston film would
you hear this line? Badges. We don't
need no stinking badges.
>> Treasure of Sarah Madre.
>> Correct. There's a POSSIBLE BACKWARDS
BONUS.
>> MADRE SIERRA THE OF TREASURE.
>> YES. [laughter]
>> I'd like to go up the ladder of chance
to the golden mud hut, please.
>> Wise choice. How many rungs?
>> Six.
[screaming]
>> That noise [laughter] can only mean one
thing.
>> Hungry monkey.
>> I'd like a Wicked Wango card.
>> Okay. [laughter] It's an audio question.
Name this television theme song.
>> Oh my god. Okay, I know this. Give me
Give ME A SECOND.
>> TELL IT TO TIME TURTLE.
>> SHUT UP. [laughter] I DREAM OF DREAMS.
>> YES. YES. You're back in the lead.
>> I'd like to spin the wheel.
[laughter]
>> Super speedy speed round.
>> Is there a hopping bonus?
>> Of course.
>> [laughter]
>> Who invented bif focals?
>> Ben Franklin.
>> Correct. Which monarch has ruled Great
Britain the longest?
>> Queen Victoria.
>> Correct again. But you forgot to switch
LEGS BETWEEN QUESTIONS, SO NO HOPPING
BONUS.
>> OH, EVERY TIME.
>> Now [laughter]
over to Chandler.
>> I'd like a Google card.
>> Are you sure?
>> Yes. No.
Google.
[laughter]
>> Oh my god. Congratulations, Ross,
because Chandler, you've been
bamboozled.
>> THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER.
>> WHAT I GOT GOING for the party so far,
liquor-wise,
get a lot of liquor.
>> Great. Great.
>> Okay. Now, uh, in terms of the invite
list, obviously I got you, me, and
Chandler, and I'm going to invite
Gunther because, well, we've been
talking about this pretty loud.
>> I'll be there.
Oh, listen. I know it's your party, but
I'd really like to limit the number of
museum geeks that are going to be there.
>> Yeah. Tell you what, let's not invite
any of the anthropologists. Okay. Just
the dinosaur dudes.
>> Okay. We need a six-ack of Zema.
>> Hey guys, what are you doing?
>> Oh, just planning my bachelor party with
my best man.
>> Yeah. Well, good luck trying to top the
last one.
>> Yeah. See, I don't think it's going to
be that difficult considering this one
won't take place in the basement of a
Pizza Hut.
>> Oh, I'm Ross. I'm Ross. I'm too good for
the hut. I'm too good for the hut.
[laughter]
>> Look, I got to go pick up Ben. Uh,
everything so far sounds great, Joey.
Just remember, keep it on the mellow
side, okay? Just a couple of guys
hanging out playing poker. No strippers
or anything. Okay,
>> you got it.
>> Okay, see you later.
>> Yeah.
>> Have fun planning your mellow bachelor
party.
Well, there's going to be strippers
there. You didn't say anything about no
strippers. [laughter]
>> He just said no strippers. Oh,
>> I chose not to hear that.
>> Hey, listen, man. About the stripper.
>> Yeah.
>> Good call. [laughter]
>> Little announcement. Little
announcement.
I've decided that my best man is my best
friend, Gunther.
>> What's my last name?
Central Perk.
[laughter]
>> Thanks for not marrying Rachel.
>> Hey. Oh, hey, Gunther. Don't Don't
forget your shirt.
>> Hey. Hey. What are those? Got little
party favors. Check it out.
>> Wow. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh.
>> A
little announcement. Just want everybody
to know that the position of my best man
is still open. And uh you know, so is
the position of the bride. [laughter]
>> Great.
>> Smooth, man. Yeah. You got some chili on
your neck.
>> Oh, I guess um good night.
>> Well, unless you uh unless you want to
hang around.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck.
[laughter]
[music]
Hey,
stripper.
[laughter]
[music]
>> THE STRIPPER STOLE THE RING. THE
STRIPPER STOLE the ring. TAYLOR, GET UP.
GET UP. THE STRIPPER STOLE THE RING.
>> WHAT? The ring is gone.
>> Okay, this give me a minute to wake up
for this.
>> You lost the ring. You're the worst best
man ever.
>> Dude, this isn't funny. What am I going
to do? I go to sleep last night.
Everything's cool. I wake up THIS
MORNING. THE STRIPPER'S GONE. AND THE
ring is gone. You slept with the
stripper? Of course. Let me see what you
wrote about yourself. Oh,
>> Dr. Paleontology. Two kids. Wait a
second. You split with Carol because you
had different interests.
>> I think you split with Carol because you
had one very similar interest.
>> You know what? I'm going to finish this
later. Okay. Let me just grab my coat.
>> Okay.
Well, did you think you learned how to
do it in the last two minutes?
[laughter]
Maybe we finish this for him.
[laughter]
Also, I cloned a dinosaur in my lab.
[laughter]
She is now my girlfriend.
I don't care what society says. It's the
best sex I've ever had. [laughter]
And send.
>> No. No.
>> You can't do that to him. All right,
let's go. Dude, uh, I think you made it
clear you can't be trusted with the ball
inside the house
[laughter]
>> and send
to go, believe me. But unfortunately, I
have to. Oh, um, by the way, what's the
name of the girl you're dating?
>> Kristen Lang.
>> Bye.
>> [music]
>> Well, obviously only one of us can keep
dating her.
>> Obviously.
So, how do we decide?
>> Well, now let's let's look at this
objectively.
I think I should date her.
[laughter]
>> Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or or I'm the one who
dates her.
That's interesting. But check this out.
I date her.
>> Yeah. Yeah. I like that. But just to go
in another direction.
>> Okay. Okay. This can go on for a while.
>> Yeah. Well, we should order some food
then.
>> No. Joey, [laughter]
>> look. Why don't Why don't we just let
her decide? Okay. Hey. Hey. We'll each
go out with her one more time and and
we'll see who she likes best.
>> That sounds fair.
>> Maybe I'll take her to that new French
restaurant down the street.
>> Hey, wait a second. Now look, we're
going to have to set a spending limit on
the date. I don't have the money to take
her to a fancy place like that.
>> Well, sorry. That's what I do on dates.
>> All right. Well, I guess I just have to
do what I do on dates. [laughter]
>> So, let's decide on a spending limit.
>> Yeah.
Uh,
a slice
[laughter]
$6.
>> I was thinking more like a hundred.
>> Okay.
>> Can I borrow $94?
[whistles]
>> [whistles]
[laughter]
>> Joey. Ma.
Joey.
Chandler. What are you still doing here?
I thought you guys took off.
>> Oh, no. No. No. SHE TOOK OFF WITH MY
CLOTHES. [laughter]
>> Are you naked in there?
>> Well, not exactly.
[laughter]
I'm wearing panties.
Huh?
you uh you always wear panties.
>> No, no, this is the first time.
>> Wow, talk about your bad luck. I mean,
the first time you try panties and
someone walks off with your clothes.
[laughter]
>> I was not trying them out. Susie asked
me to wear them.
>> Well, let me see.
>> No,
I'm not letting you or anybody else see
ever.
>> All right. All right.
Whoa,
someone's flossing.
[cheering]
>> Joey, some people don't like that.
>> Chandler's wearing panties.
>> What?
>> Let me see.
>> No, no, you don't have to see.
[laughter]
>> Hi, Tushy.
All
right. One of you give me your
underpants.
>> Oh, no. No. No. Can't help you. I'm not
wearing any.
>> How can you not be wearing any
underwear?
>> Oh, I'm getting heat from the guy in the
hot pink thong.
>> All right. Look, Ross. I'll give you $50
for your underpants.
Hey, [laughter]
[cheering]
Chandler.
Chandler, I saw what you were doing
through the window. I saw WHAT YOU WERE
DOING TO MY SISTER. NOW GET OUT OF HERE.
[laughter]
>> LISTEN, we had a good run. You know,
what was it? Four, five months. I mean,
that's more than most people have in a
lifetime. So, goodbye. Take care.
Bye-bye then.
>> What are you doing?
>> Oh, I'm going on the lamb.
>> Come on, J. Come on. I can handle Ross.
Hold on.
>> Hey, Ross. What's up, bro? [laughter]
What
the HELL ARE YOU DOING?
>> HEY, WHAT'S what's going on?
>> Well, I think I think Ross knows about
me and Monica.
[laughter]
Dude, he's right there.
>> I thought you WERE MY BEST FRIEND. THIS
IS MY SISTER. My best friend. And my
sister. I I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS.
>> LOOK, we're not just messing around. I
love her, okay? I'm in love with her.
I'm so sorry that you had to find out
this way.
Sorry, but it's true. I I love him, too.
>> My best friend and my sister.
[cheering and applause]
I cannot believe this.
>> Oh, you guys want to probably get some
hugs in, too, huh? Big news.
No, that's okay. We've actually known
for a while.
[laughter]
>> What? What? What? You guys knew? You
>> You all knew and you didn't tell me?
>> Well, Ross, we were worried about you.
Okay. We didn't know how you were going
to react.
>> You were worried about me.
You didn't know how I was going to
react.
>> [laughter]
>> Okay. All right. What do you say we all
uh clear out of here and let these two
love birds get back down to business?
[laughter]
>> Hey, hey, hey. I'm just talking here. He
He's the one doing your sister.
>> Chance to win my money back. Okay.
Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.
>> You serious?
>> Oh, yes.
>> Okay. Get ready to owe me.
>> Okay.
>> Okay. Here we go. Ready?
Lord,
[laughter]
[cheering]
no no
one CAN BEAT ME.
>> [laughter]
>> SEE, NOW THAT'S WHY only the little fake
men are supposed to do the kicking.
[laughter]
>> What are you guys doing?
>> Try it. I can't feel a thing. [laughter]
[laughter]
>> Are you kidding?
This is packing.
>> We're taking a break
>> from
>> jumping on the bed.
>> All right. Rachel's party is in a couple
of hours and there's a lot to do. Now,
Ross, you've got Geller blood. You're in
charge of these yahoos.
>> You got it.
>> All right.
>> All right. She's right. We got to get
serious. Let's put styrofoam peanuts
down his pants and kick him.
Or you could just, you know,
[laughter]
what the hell are you doing? [laughter]
>> What the hell am I doing? You just broke
my fridge.
What? What? How do you know if How do
you know it's even broken? Oh, you think
I don't know what breaks my fridge?
[laughter]
Excuse me.
Well, what do you know? Broken.
That'll be $400.
[laughter]
>> Joey, I saw you push him.
[snorts]
>> You pushed him. [laughter]
>> Joey, I did not break this. Okay, that
has been broken for a while. [laughter]
>> Chen, remember I told you about our
fridge?
>> Uh-huh.
>> I still haven't gotten the check for
your half yet. [laughter]
Do not give him any money.
>> I'm not talking to you. YOU BROKE MY
FRIDGE.
>> I HAVE had enough of this. All right,
Gunther.
>> These guys are trying to take our seat.
>> Tell us these guys were here first.
>> Oh, sorry. Didn't realize.
>> There you go.
>> Thank you, Gunther. [laughter]
>> We didn't want to have to go and do
that.
>> [laughter]
>> He told on us.
>> You told on us.
>> Well, pal, you didn't give me much of a
choice.
[laughter]
>> Don't play with this thing.
>> I know.
[laughter]
>> All right,
let's take this outside.
[laughter]
>> Let's Let's take this outside.
Who talks like that?
The guy who's about to kick your ass
talks like that.
>> You had to ask.
>> Yeah.
[laughter]
>> Okay. Okay. Look. See, the thing is
we're we're not [laughter] going to
fight you guys.
>> Well, then here's the deal. You won't
have to so long as you never ever show
your faces in this coffee house ever
again.
>> I'd like to toast Ross and Emily. Of
course, my big toast will be tomorrow at
the wedding, so this is kind of my
little toast or or Melba toast, if you
will.
Okay.
I've [clears throat] known Ross for a
long time. In fact, I knew him when he
was going out with his first girlfriend,
and I thought things were really going
to work out for him until the day he
overinflated her.
[laughter]
Oh, dear God.
I'm sure we're all very excited. uh that
Ross and Emily are getting married at
Montgomery Hall. I mean to think my
friend getting married in Monty Hall.
Oh, come on. Monty Hall, LET'S MAKE A
DEAL. COME ON, YOU PEOPLE.
All right, forget it. Congratulations,
WLEY. [laughter]
[applause]
HEY, best man number two, Joey Triani.
Now, I'm not good with the jokes like
Chandler.
Dr.
>> It says to call this number if you're
not completely satisfied with this candy
bar.
[laughter]
>> Well, I'm not completely satisfied.
[laughter]
>> Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well,
I guess you'd know that or we'd be in
the predicament room.
[laughter]
>> Hold on. Fill these out. Sit over there.
>> Look, look, look, look. I don't want to
make any trouble, okay? But I'm in a lot
of pain here, all right? My face is
dented.
>> Well, you'll have to wait your turn.
>> Well, how long do you think it'll be?
>> Any minute now.
>> No, no, no. I don't think you heard me.
Are you ready to party?
[laughter]
>> No.
Gandalf. Gandalf is coming to town.
>> Kathy's with her parents. I have nothing
to do. So, tomorrow we are partying with
Gandalf. Dude,
>> dude, we are so going to party.
>> Wow. Okay, dude alert.
[laughter]
>> And who is this guy?
>> Mike Gandalf Ganderson. Only like the
funnest guy in the world.
>> I'm going to call and get off work
tomorrow.
>> I'm going to call after you.
>> This is going to be so cool, dude. We
never party anymore.
[laughter]
>> All right. Were you guys smoking
something in the back of our van?
[laughter]
>> Really? And what do you mean we never
have fun anymore? You have fun with me?
Remember the time we saw those
strippers, then you paid me 50 bucks to
eat that book?
>> Joey, you are going to love this guy.
Gandalf is like the party wizard.
>> Well, why do you call him Gandalf?
>> Gandalf the wizard.
>> Hello. Didn't you read Lord of the Rings
in high school?
No, I had sex in high school.
>> All right. So, we'll get a little
coffee, we'll get energized, and we'll
head back out. Yeah.
>> All right. Okay.
>> So, we're having fun, right? We don't
need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of
clubs, talk to some strangers, and uh
after this, we'll go down to the docks
and see about that boat thing.
>> I'm kind of beat,
>> actually.
Me, too. [laughter]
>> You serious?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Thank God I'm exhausted.
>> So, you guys want coffees?
>> Yeah, but uh I don't want to be up too
late, so I'll have a decaf.
>> Yeah, me too.
>> Actually, can I get some hot water with
a little lemon?
Hey, I strain my voice screaming in
there. Does it have to be so loud?
>> I [laughter] can't hear a word you're
saying. My ears are ringing so bad. I'm
just glad I brought that extra pair of
socks. You know, I used them as mittens.
I didn't want to touch a thing in that
last play. [laughter]
How sad are we?
I know.
You know what? We're not sad. We're not
sad. We're just not 21 anymore. You
know, I'm 29 years old, damn it. And I
want to sit in a comfortable chair and
watch television and go to sleep at a
reasonable hour.
>> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. And I like to
hang out in a quiet place where I could
talk to my friends.
>> Yeah.
>> And so what if I like to go home, throw
on some Kenny G, and take a bath?
[laughter]
>> We're 29. We're not women.
>> Very glad that you saved Ross when the
car backfired, but it could have been a
bullet. And you, you know, you didn't
try to save me.
>> Oh, you're upset because you think I
chose Ross over you. No, I knew you
could take care of yourself. You know, I
mean, Ross, he needs help. He's not
street like us.
>> What it comes down to is you would risk
your life for Ross before you would for
me. That's the bottom line.
>> No, not exactly. All right. Look, I I
wasn't trying to save Ross,
okay?
My sandwich was next to Ross. All
right.
I I was trying to save my sandwich.
>> From a bullet. [laughter]
I know it doesn't make much sense.
>> Much sense.
>> Chandler, it was instinct. OKAY. I JUST
went for it. So, you risked your life
for a sandwich. I know it sounds crazy,
but Chandler, this is the greatest
sandwich in the world. [laughter]
So, you didn't uh choose Ross before me?
>> No, I would never do that. You You're
like my brother.
>> Really?
>> Yeah. In fact, to prove how much you
mean to me.
[laughter]
Here.
Thanks. Oh, easy. It's not a hot dog.
How good is that?
[laughter]
>> See?
>> Mhm.
>> Hey. Oh, dude. What are you doing?
>> I thought you were showing me how much I
mean to you.
>> Yeah, with a bite.
>> Jeez. Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our
duck and our chick had a little baby? We
could call it Chuck
[laughter]
or Dick.
Hey,
>> hey, hey.
>> Listen, I I need a favor. Um, I was in
the shower and as I was cleansing
myself, I uh I I Well, I felt something.
>> Was it like a sneeze only better?
>> No, no, I mean I mean like a thing on my
body.
>> What was it?
>> Well, I I don't know. It's It's kind of
in a place that's not It's not visually
accessible to me. And I was Hoping maybe
you guys could could help me out.
[laughter]
>> Come on, you guys. It's no big deal.
Just die.
[laughter]
>> Huh?
>> What is it? Is it a mole?
[laughter]
>> No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole.
>> Ew. Is it what? A pimple?
[laughter]
>> No, it's
fancier than a pimple.
Look, Ross, why don't you just go see a
[laughter]
>> Okay. Well, it's definite two more weeks
of winter,
>> right? Time Square. We're in a virtual
confetti.
>> Go kids.
>> And then the peacock bit me. [laughter]
Please kiss me at midnight.
You seen Sandy? Uh, I don't know how to
tell you this, but uh, she's in Monica's
bedroom getting it on with Max, that
scientist geek.
Oh, look at that. I didn't know how to
tell you. [laughter]
>> Everybody, the ball is dropping.
>> What?
>> The ball is dripping
[laughter]
>> and the moment of joy is upon us.
Looks like that no date pack thing
worked out.
>> Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.
>> Not everybody's happy.
>> Hey, Bobby.
[laughter]
[cheering]
>> You know, I uh just thought I'd throw
this out here. I'm no math wiz, but I do
believe there are three girls and three
guys right here.
>> Mhm.
>> Oh, I don't feel like kissing anyone
tonight.
I can't kiss anyone.
>> So, I'm kissing everyone.
>> No, no, no. You can't kiss Ross. That's
your brother.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> Oh, [laughter] perfect. Perfect. So, now
everybody's getting kissed but me. All
right. Somebody kiss me.
>> SOMEBODY KISS ME. IT'S MIDNIGHT.
SOMEBODY KISS ME. IT'S MIDNIGHT. IT'S
ONE GAME.
[laughter]
>> Emily's cousin kicked me out.
>> What?
>> Why? Well, when you're subletending an
apartment from your wife's cousin and
then you get a divorce, sometimes the
cousin suddenly wants his apartment
back. Well,
>> how can you do that? Didn't you sign a
lease?
>> Who needs a lease when it's family?
>> Hey, you can stay with us. We'll take
care of it.
>> Absolutely. Anything you need, man. But
you have to promise me you will let us
know the second you are feeling better
so that we can make fun of your hair.
>> Yeah, [laughter]
>> you got it. Okay.
>> Thanks you guys. I really appreciate
this. All right. I'm going to get
packing again. Man, I've been moving
around so much lately. I'm beginning to
feel like a nomad.
[laughter]
>> What?
>> He thought you said go, Ned.
[laughter]
>> Joey, please.
>> Sorry.
Hello children. Hey, want to play some
foosball, please?
Okay. No, no, no. We have to move the
table into my room. Yeah, because of all
the boxes. Come on.
[laughter]
All right. I have one question. What is
the deal with this?
Bye-bye little puppet joey hand.
[laughter]
The quiet down thing. You mean this?
Mhm. [laughter]
Look, I I I don't know how much more of
this I can take. Did you know he taped
over my Baywatch tape with some show
about bugs? [laughter]
My god. What if that had been porn? Huh?
All right, look. You know, this may be
tough, but come on. It's Ross. I
survived college with him.
>> All right, I guess I can hold out a
little longer. Let's have a game.
>> Okay.
Yes.
Uh, fellas.
[laughter]
>> Okay. So, he's out of here.
>> Mhm.
Welcome to the Ches Inn, Mr. Bing. So,
where are you joining us from?
>> New York.
>> The Big Apple.
>> I'm sorry. He's a little bit wound up.
We had to stop at every maple candy
stand on the way here.
>> I ate all my gifts for everybody.
>> I'm sorry, Mr. Bing. There's no record
of your reservation in the computer.
>> Well, that's impossible. Can you check
again, please?
>> Check again, please.
[laughter]
>> I'm sorry. It's not here.
>> Not there.
Let me get this straight. I called
yesterday to try to cancel my
reservation. Was told it's not
refundable. Then we drove 6 hours all
the way up here. And now you're telling
me that we don't have a reservation.
>> I don't know what to say.
>> She doesn't know what to say.
>> Just give us the cheapest room you have.
>> Well, unfortunately, the only thing we
have available is our deluxe suite. The
rate is $600.
>> That's insane. It is totally insane.
Dude, let's drive home. We'll hit all
the maple candy stores on the way back
and if if they're closed then maybe
we'll we'll tap a tree and make some
ourselves.
[laughter]
>> Does that room have a closet I can lock
him in?
[laughter]
>> We'll take it.
>> Great.
>> But they are totally ripping us off.
Dude, don't worry about it. I know how
we can make your money back. This is a
nice hotel. You know, plenty of
amenities. We just load up on those.
Like those apples instead of taking one.
Um, I take six.
>> Great. At $100 an apple, we're there.
[laughter]
>> Come on. You You get the idea. You know,
we'll make our money back in no time.
>> Dude, you're shaking.
>> I think it's the sugar. Could you hold
the apple? [laughter]
>> Hi, this is Ross Geller in sweet 206.
Um, I seem to have forgotten a couple of
things. Could Could you have some
complimentary toiletries sent up to my
room?
Thank you. Okay. Toothbrush, toothpaste,
razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental
floss, band-aids, shaving cream, after
shave, and I feel like I'm forgetting
something. Um, is there anything else
you have that I haven't asked for
already? [laughter]
Yeah, go ahead. Set up some tampons.
>> What'd you get? USA Today.
>> Nice. Put them with the others. And I
also got two more apples.
>> We're four short of a bushel.
>> God, I feel so alive. I love being in
the country.
>> Also got these great salt and pepper
shakers from the restaurant.
>> Oh, that's not cool.
>> Dude, none of this is cool.
Look, Chandler, you you have to find the
line between stealing and and taking
what the hotel owes you. Um, for
example, a haird dryer. No, no, no. But
shampoos and conditioners. Oh, yes, yes,
yes.
Now, the the salt shaker is off limits,
but the salt
I wish I'd thought this through.
[laughter]
>> I think I get what you mean, though.
Like the the lamp is uh is the hotels,
but the bulbs.
>> Oh, you you already got that.
>> Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.
>> Okay. Uh how about this?
>> No, no, no. You can't take the remote
control.
>> Yes, but the batteries.
[applause]
>> Thank you. Thank you very much.
>> Let's Let's celebrate with some maple
candy.
>> No.
>> At least tell me where you hit it.
>> Here's your copy of the bill. We hope
you enjoyed your stay.
>> Oh, we did. And you still have all your
lamps. [laughter]
Oh, I didn't factor in the room tax.
>> Oh, dude, don't worry about it. Uh, I
found an unattended maid's card. We're
way ahead of the game.
[laughter]
>> Oh my god.
>> What?
>> There's There's something new in the
bowl.
>> Look, we have enough. Just walk away.
>> Oh, but I I want I want the pine cones.
[laughter]
>> There's a forest right outside.
>> It's not the same. Okay, go quick.
>> Go. GO.
[cheering]
>> Thank you for a delightful stay.
[cheering]
>> My maple candy.
>> Die hard. Still great.
>> Yeah.
Hey, what do you say we make it a double
feature?
>> What else you in?
>> Die Hard 2. [laughter]
>> Joey, this is Die Hard one again.
>> Well, we watched it a second time and
it's Die Hard, too.
>> Joey, we just saw it and
>> and it would be cool to see it again.
>> Yeah, Die Hard.
>> Dude, you didn't say Die Hard.
Is everything okay? [laughter]
>> Yeah, I just got I got plans.
>> Well, John Mlan had plans.
>> No, you see the thing is I want to get
out of here before Joey gets all worked
up and starts calling everybody
>> What are you talking about,
[music]
>> [laughter]
[laughter]
[applause]
>> What happened?
>> I don't know. [laughter] You fell
asleep. That is all.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> All right. Well, uh, I better go.
>> Yeah. I think that would be best.
All right. I'll talk to you later.
>> Okay. But not about this.
>> No, never.
>> Never.
>> So, uh, uh,
>> bye.
>> No touch. No touch.
>> It's going to be okay, right? I mean,
she's not going to leave me. This is
this is fixable.
>> Oh,
>> yeah. Yeah, sure. Absolutely.
>> By me.
>> Oh, no.
>> No. No.
>> Well, unless you make some kind of big
gesture.
>> Yeah. Big though.
Oh The misses
here.
>> Can I Can I get a coffee
>> to go?
Monica,
>> I'm I'm still not done not wanting to
talk to you.
>> Just tell me what I need to do to make
things right.
>> What?
>> Well, that's what we do. You know, I I
mess up and then you tell me how to fix
it and then I do and then, you know, you
think I'm all cute again.
[laughter]
I'm
>> really I'm really tired of being your
relationship tutor. You're going to have
to figure this one out for yourself,
right? You know what? You're too afraid
to be in a real relationship, then don't
be in one.
>> All right, I took the quiz and it turns
out I do put career before men.
[laughter]
Get up.
>> What?
>> Near my seat.
>> How is this your seat? Cuz
I was sitting there,
>> but then you left.
>> Well, it's not like I went to Spain.
I went to the bathroom. You knew I was
coming back.
>> What's the big deal? Sit somewhere else.
>> The big deal is I was sitting there
last, so it's my seat. [laughter]
>> Well, actually, the last place you were
sitting was in there. So,
>> you guys, you know what? You know what?
It doesn't matter because you both have
to go get dressed before the big vein in
my head pops. So,
>> all right, Ross. I just have to do one
thing really quickly. It's not a big
deal. Get up.
>> All right, fine. You know what? We'll
both sit in the chair.
>> Fine with me.
[laughter]
>> I'm so comfortable.
>> Me, too. In fact, I think I might be a
little too comfortable. All right.
>> Okay. Look, we have 19 minutes, okay,
Chandler, I want you to go and change,
okay? And then when you come back, Joey
will go change and he'll have vacated
the chair. Okay? Okay.
>> All right. Fine. I'm going. But when I
GET BACK, IT'S CHAIR SITTING AND I'M THE
GUY who's sitting in a chair.
>> All right. You will notice that I am
fully dressed. I in turn have noticed
that you are not.
So in the words of aa mil get out of my
chair dealhole.
>> Okay.
[cheering]
[applause]
[laughter]
>> What are you doing?
>> Well, you said I had to give you the
chair. You didn't see anything about the
cushions.
>> The cushions are the essence of the
chair.
>> That's right. I'm taking the essence.
He'll be back.
Oh, there's nobody in the room.
>> Where's my underwear? Whoa, whoa, whoa,
>> whoa, whoa. Come on. Come on. What? You
took his underwear?
>> He took my essence.
>> Okay, hold on,
>> Joey. Why Why can't you just wear the
underwear you're wearing now?
>> Cuz I'm not wearing any underwear now.
[cheering]
>> Okay. Um, then why do you have to wear
underwear tonight?
>> It's a rented tux. Okay. Not going to go
commando in another man's fatigues.
Well, then it looks like somebody's
going to have to give somebody back his
cushions.
>> Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm going to
do the exact opposite to you.
What are you What are you going to show
me my clothes? Hey, opposite
is opposite.
[laughter]
He's got nothing.
>> [cheering]
[applause]
>> Okay, buddy boy. Here it is.
You hide my clothes, I'm wearing
everything you own.
Oh my god,
[laughter]
that is so not THE OPPOSITE OF TAKING
SOMEBODY'S UNDERWEAR.
Look at me. I'm Chandler. Could I be
wearing any more clothes?
Maybe if I wasn't going commando.
Yeah.
I'll tell you, it's hot with all this
stuff on. I uh I better not do any I
don't know, lunges.
Okay. Okay. Enough. Enough with the
lunging. No, I'm sick of this. Okay.
I've had up to here with you two.
Neither of you can come to the party.
Jeez, what a baby.
[music]
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