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Yeah. Well, excuse me for wanting to be
with my girlfriend on our anniversary.
Boy, what an ass am I.
>> But I told you I didn't have the time.
>> Yeah.
>> Well, you never have the time. I mean, I
don't feel like I even have a girlfriend
anymore. Rachel
>> Ross, what do you want from me? You want
me want me to quit my job so you could
feel like you have a girlfriend?
>> No, but it would be nice if you'd
realize that it's just a job.
>> Just a job?
>> Yes. Ross, do you realize this is the
first time in my life I'm doing
something I actually care about? This is
the first time in my life I'm doing
something that I'm actually good at. I
mean, if you don't get that. No.
>> Hey, I get that. Okay, I get that big
time. And I'm happy for you, but I'm
tired of having a relationship with your
answering machine. Okay, I don't know
what to do anymore.
>> Well, neither do I.
>> Is this about Mark?
>> Oh my god.
>> Okay, it's not.
>> Oh my god. I cannot keep having the same
fight over and over again, Ross. No,
you're you're you're making this too
hard.
>> Oh, I'm I'm making this too hard. Okay,
what do you want me to do?
>> I don't know. I don't know. Look, maybe
we should just take a break.
>> Okay. Okay, fine. You're right. Let's uh
let's take a break. Let's cool off.
Okay, let's get some frozen yogurt or
something.
>> No,
>> a break from us.
So, here you are.
Seems like yesterday I was talking to
you in that little petri dish.
[Laughter]
Everyone said labor was the hardest
thing I'd ever have to do, but they were
wrong. This is
Well, I had the most fun with you guys.
I wish I could take you home and see you
every day, but
okay, I'll settle for being your
favorite aunt.
I know Alice's sister has a pool, but
you lived in me.
>> Okay, so we're cool.
Yeah, we're going to be great.
Little high fives.
[Music]
[Music]
Well, if you're going to cry,
[Music]
listen. Uh,
I don't know when I'm going to see you
again.
>> Well, I'm guessing uh tonight at the
coffee house,
>> right? Yeah. Okay. Uh, take care.
>> Yeah.
[Music]
Look,
>> maybe we should go.
>> No, you guys, you really don't have to
go. We're done talking. Wait,
>> come on. Look, I know how you must
>> No, you don't. Ross, imagine
the worst things you think about
yourself. Now, how would you feel if the
one person that you trusted the most in
the world not only thinks them too, but
actually uses them as reasons not to be
with you? No, but but see, I want to be
with you in spite of all those things.
>> Oh, well, that's that's mighty big of
you, Ross. I said don't go.
>> You know what? You know what? If if
things were the other way around, there
is nothing you could put on a list that
would that would ever make me not want
to be with you.
>> Well, then I guess that's the difference
between us. See, God never make a list.
Hey, Kiki.
>> What are you doing? Just trying to get
comfortable. Can't sleep in my
underwear.
>> Well, you're going to
I've been thinking, you know, about how
I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.
Are they end to end or tall like
pancakes?
>> You know what I mean about how I'm
always going out with all these women?
Cuz I always figured when the right one
comes along, I'll be able to be a
standup guy and go the distance. You
know, I'm looking at my dad thinking,
"Hey, you're not him. You're you."
When they were all over you to go into
your father's pipe fitting business, did
you cave?
>> No.
>> No. You decided to go into the out of
work actor business.
Now, that wasn't easy, but you did it.
And I'd like to believe that when the
right woman comes along, you will have
the courage and the guts to say, "No
thanks. I'm married."
You
>> really think so?
>> Yeah, I really do.
>> Thanks, Chandler.
>> Get off.
>> Rachel, ready or not, here comes your
night in shining. Oh no.
>> Bye.
>> Oh dear.
>> Jack, how do I turn this off?
>> Press the button.
>> Which one? Which button, Jack?
>> The button. The button.
>> I can't believe you did that.
>> Yeah. Oh,
>> see he's her lobster.
[Music]
Okay.
Call me when you get there. Okay.
>> Okay. Really going to miss you.
[Music]
>> Oh, I have your key.
>> There you go. Thanks. Yeah.
>> Oh god, this is silly. I'm going to see
you in a couple of hours.
Bye. House.
Bye. Bye.
[Music]
[Music]
She really left.
>> Thank you.
>> No problem. rooming.
>> Can I ask you a question?
>> Sure.
>> What the hell is that dog doing here?
>> Let me just say something because once
we get into this, I'm going to get all
uncomfortable and probably make some
stupid joke.
I just want to say that I I love you
and I'm going to miss you
and I'm so sad that you're leaving.
Oh, you know what?
Let's not say anything else. I love you.
>> Not so tight.
>> Oh.
I know Chandler was kidding, but it
happens every time he touches my
stomach. I mean, I'm really worried the
baby's not going to like him.
>> Are you okay?
>> Well, yeah, sure.
>> Uh,
look, the uh the reason
>> Is it hot in here?
>> No, not not for me. But why don't you
take off your sweater?
>> I would, but this is a nice place. And
my t-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing
hobbs.
>> Oh my god. Really? Can I see it?
>> Yeah, sure.
>> Huh?
>> I wouldn't think Hops would like that so
much.
>> Uh,
>> how long have we known each other? Um,
seven, eight, eight years. Wow.
>> Uh-huh. Long time.
>> Yeah.
>> But over the past few weeks.
>> Okay.
Sorry about the wait, but it is mega
jammed in here. We have a couple
specials tonight.
>> Yeah. Could you could you give us a
second?
>> Sure. Sure. Seconds up.
Not that kind of table.
So, you were saying
>> I'm not quite sure.
>> Okay. Well, you had asked me how long we
knew each other, and I said 8 years, and
then the um waiter came over and cut his
tip in half, and um now here we are.
>> Yeah, here we are.
Uh,
I
>> I think I'm falling in love with you.
>> What?
>> I'm falling in love with you.
Who are you talking to?
Oh, you're kidding. Oh, it's a joke.
It's funny. It's funny. I don't get it.
Okay. Um.
Ah. Ow.
Are you um
>> How did um
when
does it really matter?
>> Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. It is hot in here.
Okay. Look, Ra, I know this is a lot.
Okay. You don't have to say anything.
You you uh you take as much time as you
need.
>> Okay, you got to say something.
>> Joey. Joey, I love you so much.
But I
>> But
>> Joey,
right? Hey, that's uh that's okay. It's
fine. It's uh
pretty much what I was expecting, you
know. So, uh it's no big deal. All
right.
>> I think I'm going to go.
>> No. No. Joey, please don't. Please don't
leave like this now. Come on. You cannot
do this to a pregnant woman.
>> Start doing happy.
>> You can't do that, Rich. is he going to
make me do
we go
I
>> Joey honey I don't want to I don't want
to lose
>> hey hey
you can't okay ever
>> I'm so sorry
>> no Ra please don't be Sorry.
Okay. Don't be sorry.
>> You know what? I was only kidding.
>> Yeah, that was a real good one.
>> Oh my god.
[Applause]
Chandler.
And all my life,
I never thought I would be so lucky.
Is to fall in love with my best.
My best.
There's a reason why girls don't do
this.
>> Okay. Okay. I'll do it. I thought
But I I can do this.
I thought that it mattered what I said
or where I said it.
Then I realized
the only thing that matters is that you
you make me happier than I ever thought
I could be.
And if you let me,
I will spend the rest of my life trying
to make you feel the same way.
>> Monica,
>> will you marry me?
>> Yes.
[Applause]
[Music]
I knew you were likely to take a wife.
>> Can we come in yet? We're dying out
here.
>> Come in. Come in.
>> We're engaged.
This is the least jealous I've ever
been.
>> Oh, no. Wait, no. This is wrong. Ross
isn't here.
>> Oh, Hel's done this three times. He
knows what it's about.
>> Do you think they recognize each other
from in there?
>> Maybe. Unless they're like two people
who've lived in apartments next to each
other for years and then one day they're
pushed through a vagina and they meet.
[Music]
>> Oh,
>> look at these little buddies.
>> I know.
>> You ready to trade?
>> Okay.
>> Okay.
>> All right. Let's see.
We could trade later.
>> Yeah, I'm good.
>> 4:30 a.m.
United States garrison in Fort Sar was
fired upon. It is now under bombardment.
Hey, Dad. What are you doing here?
>> Well, it's your mother's bridge night,
so I thought I'd come into the city for
a little Mona cuddle.
>> Since when did you start smoking cigars?
>> I don't. I just I just like the smell of
them.
>> So, uh, what are you really doing here,
Dad?
>> Well, I just wanted to make sure that
you're okay.
What makes you think that I might not be
okay?
>> I saw Richard.
>> Oh.
>> So, how you doing?
I'm
>> fine. Just a little tired, but I'm okay.
How's Richard doing?
>> You don't want to know?
>> No, I I really really do.
>> Well, he's doing terrible.
>> Really?
Is it worse than when he broke up with
Barbara?
>> You're not just saying that, are you?
>> No. The man is a mess.
>> Was he crying?
>> No.
>> Well, do you think he was waiting till
after you left so we could cry?
>> Maybe.
>> I think so.
>> Honey, relationships are hard. Like with
your mom and me. You know, after we
graduated from college, we broke up for
a while. It seems her father, your
grandfather, wanted her to travel around
Europe like he did. Of course, he got to
do it on Uncle Sam's nickel because he
was also strafing German troop trains at
the time. However,
[Music]
Honey, I'm home
>> from the tequila factory.
>> It was awful to get out of going to
dinner with Doug. I told him that you
and I split up. So then he took me to
all these strip clubs and sleazy bars.
And then when I wouldn't give my wedding
ring, he threw a soda can at a bird.
>> I could breathe through my mouth.
>> You know what the worst part was? I got
to see what my life would be like
without you. You know, it was like uh
It's a Wonderful Life with lap dances.
Please promise me that you will never
leave me, that we will grow old together
and be with each other for the rest of
our lives.
I promise.
>> Hey, speaking of together, how about we
send out a holiday card this year?
>> Oh, I I don't know if we're there yet.
>> Rachel,
I I want you to know that if it's
positive, we're going to
>> Oh, I know. I know
>> you do.
It's time.
>> No.
Go ahead, reach.
>> Oh, wait. You know what? I can't I can't
look at it. I can't look at it. Somebody
else tell me. Somebody tell me. Okay.
Okay. Um,
it's negative.
What? It's negative.
Oh.
Well, there you go.
That is that's great. That is really
great great news,
you know, cuz the whole
not being ready and kind of the
financial aspects, all that.
Wow, this is so just the way this was
supposed to be.
>> Well, then great.
>> It's so stupid.
>> How can I be upset over something I
never have?
It's negative.
No, it's positive.
What?
>> It's It's not negative. It's positive.
>> Are you sure?
>> Well, yeah. I lied before.
>> Oh my god. Now you know how you really
feel about it.
>> Oh, that's a risky little game.
>> Are you really going to do this?
>> Yeah. I'm gonna have a baby.
>> I'm gonna have a baby.
>> I'm gonna have a baby.
[Applause]
>> With who?
>> No, it's still not the time.
>> I just realized I don't care if he is
the most perfect guy in the world.
He's not you.
>> Yeah, he's better.
>> No, he's not.
And if I can't get pregnant with you,
then I don't want to get pregnant by him
or anyone else.
>> Really? Are you sure?
>> Yeah, I'm sure.
>> Thank God because I don't want to do
this either. No, I was just doing it
because I thought that was what you
wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband.
I'm supposed to bring the sperm.
That
>> is so sweet.
Well, I love you.
So, you know, this leaves us with
>> adoption.
>> How do you feel about that?
>> I think I feel okay about it.
Actually, I I I think I feel really good
about it.
>> Me, too. I want to find a baby that
needs a home, and I want to raise it
with you,
and I want to mess it up in our own
specific way.
So, this is it. We're We're really going
to adopt.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh my god. We're going to be parents.
>> We are going to be great parents.
>> And it could be soon. I mean I mean,
think about it. Right now, somewhere out
there, our baby could be being
conceived.
>> Wait. If we're lucky and we're really,
really, really quiet, we may be able to
hear the sound of a condom breaking.
>> What are you going to do for us? Uh, I
will be doing a dramatic reading of one
of Emma's books.
>> Oh, okay. Which one?
>> Uh, well, it's uh one of her favorites.
Riding the storm out, coping with
postpartum depression.
Love you forever.
Love you Forever by Robert Munch,
published by Firefly Books, printed in
Mexico.
A mother held her new baby and very
slowly rocked him back and forth, back
and forth, back and forth. And while she
held him, she sang, "I'll love you
forever.
I'll like you for always. As long as I'm
living, my baby you'll be.
And while he rocked her, he sang, "I'll
love you forever. I'll like you for
always. As long as I'm living, my baby,
you'll be."
>> Wow,
that was amazing.
>> Thank you so much for that gift.
I was not ready for this today.
>> Bye, Chandler.
>> Oh, bye.
>> Bye, honey.
>> What's the matter, Joe? I'm mad at you
for leaving.
Nothing but a big lever.
Big lever with the stupid suitcase.
Any
chance you're trying to pick a fight to
make all of this easier?
>> Oh, dude. You see right through me.
[Laughter]
>> Okay. Well, bye man. Bye, Ross. Rachel.
Bye, Emma.
>> Okay. Bye. Bye.
True. Okay.
>> No. Oh, it's me. It's me. I I didn't
want to make any noise. Then don't break
in.
>> I'm sorry. What are you doing here? I I
came to fill your ice cube tray.
What? Um
Okay. Okay. Look. Um, I took this
picture from your fridge, okay? Because
I know that this is my father. Yeah.
This is Frank Buffet, and you were
standing right there next to him. Now,
look, I deserve to know where I came
from. All right? So, if you can help me
find my father, then you should.
Otherwise, you're just mean.
So, just tell me the truth. All right.
The man in that picture is Chuck Manion.
My father is Chuck Manion.
No, no, that's just Chuck Manion. I I
sold him a house last year and I'm very
sorry, but I really don't know where
your father is. And that's the truth.
Oh,
but um you're right.
I think that a person should know where
they come from,
which is why I uh
uh
Okay,
I'm your mother.
>> You know, I wanted to tell you
yesterday, but I just, you know, I felt
all floopy and
>> Thanks,
Dearly beloved,
I'm sorry I'm a little late.
May be confused by this now, but you
won't be Memorial Day weekend 2002.
Well, let's get started before the groom
takes off again. Huh?
We are gathered here today
to join this man
and this woman in the bonds of holy
matrimony.
I've known Monica and Chandler for a
long time and I cannot imagine
two people more perfect for each other.
And now,
as I've left my notes in my dressing
room,
we shall proceed to the vows. Monica,
he took off. Go on. Go on.
Chandler.
For so long, I I wondered if I would
ever find my prince,
my soulmate.
Then three years ago, at another
wedding, I turned to a friend for
comfort.
And instead, I found everything that I'd
ever been looking for my whole life.
And now
here we are
with our future before us.
And I only want to spend it with you,
my prince,
my soulmate,
my friend.
Unless you don't want to.
You go,
>> Chandler.
It's okay,
>> Monica. I thought this was going to be
the most difficult thing I ever had to
do.
But when I saw you walking down that
aisle, I realized how simple it was.
I love you. Any
surprises that come our way, it's okay
because I will always love you.
You are the person I was meant to spend
the rest of my life with.
You want to know if I'm sure?
You uh may now kiss the bride.
So,
I guess by the powers vested in me by
the state of New York and the internet
guys,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Oh, wait.
Do you take each other?
>> I do.
>> I do.
>> Yeah, you do.
Rings. Oh, crap. Okay. Um,
let's do the rings.
>> We good? Yeah, good.
Once again, I pronounce you husband and
wife. Now, kiss her again.
[Music]
I love you.
And I know about the baby.
>> What baby?
>> Our baby.
>> We have a baby.
>> Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the
trash. I didn't take a pregnancy test.
>> And who did?
>> Look at them.
And they're going to have a baby.
>> Uh-huh.
>> Hey, Joey.
>> Thanks.
>> Listen, um, I need to ask you something,
okay? You know how my stepdad's in
prison?
Yeah. Well, um, listen. He was supposed
to get a weekend furlow so he could come
to the wedding tomorrow,
>> but he just called and um well
apparently stabbing Iceman in the
exercise yard just couldn't wait till
Monday.
>> So he can't come?
>> No.
>> And so there's no one to walk me down
the aisle. And um
>> Well, I would just really love it if you
would do it.
>> Seriously?
>> Yeah. You've, you know, sort of been
like a dad to me.
I mean, you've always, you know, looked
out for me and shared your wisdom.
>> I am pretty wisdomous.
>> So, what do you say?
>> Are you kidding, Phoebe?
I would be honored.
>> Oh, thank you.
>> I hope
I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Listen, I hope
Hope that you know.
>> I don't want you to see your father cry.
>> Go to your room. Yes.
>> She's so beautiful.
>> Oh my god.
She's amazing.
Oh, I'm so glad you guys got drunk and
had sex.
>> It's incredible. I mean, one minute
she's inside you and then 47 hours
later, here she is.
>> She looks so real.
>> You know what I mean?
>> Okay, my turn. My turn.
>> Oh, baby.
>> Oh, baby. Oh, you're so cute. Oh, I
could squeeze your little head.
I won't.
>> What's the matter?
>> Nothing. I'm sorry. I just can't stop
crying.
>> The doctor said it's completely normal
with all the hormones. Plus, you you're
sleepd deprived.
>> So, you guys are all sleepd deprived. I
don't see you weeping cuz you put your
slippers on the wrong feet.
>> Oh, god.
>> What's the matter now?
>> I was reliving it.
So, do you know what you're going to
call her yet?
>> Oh, wait a minute. It's not going to be
baby girl. I thought that was so
original.
>> Uh, actually, we we've narrowed it down
to two names.
>> Yeah. And you know what? I love them
both. So, why don't you just pick one
and that'll be it.
>> Wow. Um,
okay. Uh, everyone,
this
is Isabella.
Oh, I love this brother.
>> Hi.
>> What?
>> That's not her name.
>> I'm sorry. She just doesn't feel like an
Isabella.
>> What was the other one, Ros?
>> Um, Delilah.
>> Oh, great. Suddenly, she sounds like a
biblical
>> So, I guess we're back to uh baby girl.
>> Yay.
Well, what are we going to do?
>> It's okay, honey. You'll find a name.
>> Easy for you to say. You already know
what your kids' names are going to be.
>> You do?
>> Yeah. I had them picked out since I was
14.
>> Oh, no. It's going to be named after
some snack or baked good, isn't it?
>> Well, tell us. What are they?
>> Um, okay. If it's a boy, it's Daniel.
And if it's a girl,
>> I don't want to say.
>> Oh, don't tell us. We're not going to
want it.
>> Okay,
it's Emma.
>> Emma.
>> See, I don't want it.
>> Take it.
>> What?
She's clearly an Emma.
>> Oh, honey. But you love that name.
>> Yeah, but I love you more.
>> Besides, you know, nothing goes with
being, so I'm screwed.
>> Hey. Oh my god.
>> Hey.
>> Hey.
That's a Christmas miracle.
>> What are you doing here?
>> I wanted to be with you.
I missed you so much. Hey. Hey. Uh,
who'd you miss the most?
>> Monica.
Gotcha.
>> I never want to leave you again.
>> But I thought if you left, you'd get
fired.
>> Turns out they can't fire me because I
quit.
>> What?
>> What? You You really quit your job?
>> Yeah, it was a stupid job and I could
not stand leaving you. And why should I
be the only one who doesn't get to do
what he really wants to do? Well,
>> what do you really want to do?
>> I have not thought this through.
>> Oh my god.
>> I know. I I should have talked to you
first about it.
>> No, I think that this is what you want
to do. I think it's great.
>> Thanks,
>> Chandler.
>> You're being here is the best Christmas
present I could have ever imagined.
>> Now, give me my real gift.
[Music]
Hey, it was this little naked guy.
>> Uh, that little naked guy would be me.
>> Look at the little thing.
>> Yes.
>> To the moon.
>> Yeah, it's fine. That is my penis.
Can we be grown-ups now?
>> Who are those people?
>> Got me.
>> Oh, that's Nana right there in the
middle.
Yeah. Let's see. Me and the gang at Java
Joe's.
>> Wow, Monica, you look just like your
grandmother. How old was she there?
>> 1939.
>> Yeah. Uh, 24, 25,
>> huh? Looks like a fun gang.
>> Look, look, look, look, look. I got
Monica naked.
>> No, no, that would be me again.
I'm uh just trying something.
>> Okay. Please be careful with that. It
was my grandmother's. Be careful. Thank
you. Uh if that falls off the truck, it
wouldn't be the worst thing.
[Applause]
Wow.
I know.
Seems smaller somehow.
>> Has it always been purple?
>> Look around you guys. This was your
first home.
And it was a happy place filled with
love and laughter.
But more important, because of rent
control, it was a friaking steal.
Hey, do you realize that at one time or
another we all lived in this apartment?
>> Oh, yeah. That's true.
>> Uh, I haven't.
>> Wait a What about that summer during
college that you live with grandma and
you tried to make it as a dancer?
Do you realize we almost made it 10
years without that coming up?
>> Oh, honey, I forgot. I promised Triger
that we'd leave our keys.
>> Oh, okay.
So I guess this is it.
>> Yeah.
I guess so.
>> This is harder than I thought it would
be.
>> It's going to be okay.
>> Okay.
Well, do you guys have to go to the new
house right away or do you have some
time?
We got some time.
>> Okay. Should we get some coffee?
>> Sure.
>> Where?
Heat. Heat.
[Music]
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