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oh God
[Applause]
okay what the hell are you doing you
scared the crap out of
me was that the case yeah yeah I got a
lemon
Smo come on she'll be here any minute
hope it's
okay happy birthday
peeh well maybe we can make a a bee out
of one of those Roses yeah we'll just
use our special cake
tools how do we have hey what's going
[Applause]
on this is so great in what John Houston
film would you hear this line badges we
don't need no stinking badges Treasure
of s correct there's a possible
backwards bonus Madre Sierra the of
treasure yes I'd like to go up the
ladder of chance to the golden mud hut
please Wise Choice how many rungs
six that noise can only mean one thing H
monkey
monkey I'd like a wicked Wango card okay
it's an audio question name this
television theme
song oh my God okay I know this give me
give me a second to time Turtle shut up
I dream of Dreams yes yes you're back in
the lead uh I'd like to spin the
wheel come
on super Speedy speed round is there a
Hopping bonus of
[Laughter]
course who invented bifocals Ben
Franklin correct which monarch has ruled
Great Britain the longest Queen Victoria
correct again but you forgot to switch
legs between questions so no hopping
bonus oh every time now over to Chandler
I'd like a Google card are you sure yes
no
Google oh my God congratulations Ross
because Chandler you've been bamboozled
no this is the best game ever you just
saw Donald Trump at your convention yeah
so I'm waiting for an
elevator hey R can I wear your eyelash
curler I think I lost mine
[Applause]
yeah Joey can I talk to you for a second
[Music]
yes
yes you and and
you yes but you cannot tell anyone no
one knows how
when it happened in London in
London the reason we didn't tell anyone
was CU we didn't want to make a big deal
out of it but it is a big
deal I have to tell someone
please please we just don't want to deal
with telling everyone okay just promise
you won't
tell all
right man this is
unbelievable I mean it's great
but I know it's
great oh I don't want to see that
everybody has ordered I would like to
start the celebration and make a toast
to
Phoebe she dropped your sock a
what no Emma dropped her sock Mom's here
I wanted to have lunch with her today
she told me she was out of
town she still has not noticed that the
baby sock is on the ground it's a good
toast will you please get her attention
oh Mommy
oh for God's sake Judy pick up the sock
pick up the sock pick up
theck I'm sorry was that rude so come on
explain yourself Geller first you get my
Rachel pregnant you got Rachel pregnant
who did you did
yes yes yes I did but but it was it was
just a one night thing meant nothing oh
really that's what my daughter means to
you nothing no no sir um she means a lot
to me I mean I I care I I love Rachel
what oh but not that way I mean I mean
I'm not in love with her I love her like
like a friend oh really that's how you
treat a friend you get her in trouble
and then you refuse to marry her hey I
offered to marry her but I didn't want
to well why not so you can spend your
time with this I'm sorry Dr
Green Mona Mona Dr
Green how could you have kept all of
this from me I I was going to tell you
but but what you figured you get what
you wanted then you dump her like you
did Rachel hey I did not dump Rachel nor
are we still
together oh um can
I why don't we just let the machine get
that hey Ross it's Joey there's a a
hooker over here and we thought maybe
you know something about
it no no no no no I I need to lie
[Music]
down Kathy Kathy hi Kathy Kathy
[Music]
C touch
ity
[Music]
cyy
Kathy hey janler what are you doing
here I just want to say
hey
Hey
Okay Ross you got to stop okay you can't
just stare through the peephole for 3
hours you're going to get pee
by I knew it I knew it I always knew she
liked him you know she'd say no but here
we are right we just broke up first
thing she does you didn't just break up
yeah you'd been like 3 weeks you slept
with somebody 3 hours after you thought
you broke up I mean bullets have left
guns
slower here they come here they oh if
she kisses him good night I'm going to
kill myself I swear I can't I can't
watch come on date over date over oh oh
here we go she's going in okay she's
going in he's going
in keep going in the door's closed I I
can't see anything but the door closed
and the inventor of the door rests
happily in his
grave okay I have to do something I mean
I have to I have to stop it stop what I
don't know but the I I have a feeling
that my being there will do it I'll go
over and I will borrow something juice I
need juice
no it must be stuck I am your friend and
I am not going to let you do this you
are surprised inly
strong I need juice people need juice
look man people need juice s to me juice
I
[Applause]
need she's moving on okay if it's not
this guy it's going to be somebody else
and unless you're thinking about
subletting my peepole you are going to
have to get used to the fact that the
relationship is over okay man it's over
yeah
okay okay it's just I miss her so
much I
know but listen I uh saw down at the
hardware store they got those designer
tiles on sale if you ever want to redo
your bathroom floor what's wrong with my
bathroom floor nothing it's just old and
dingy that's
all I highly doubt that oh yeah if you
uh move your hamper you can see the
color the how I used to be
yeah I can't live like this what are we
going to do what are we going to do
relax relax here hold this this old
stuff comes right up I'll show
you little more than I want to
see look at that every inch of this is
glued down it take forever to pry this
up you should uh you should just leave
it I can't leave it you couched a hole
in my dingy
floor there you go a yeah that's nice
you know we can put it back there after
the surgeons remove it from your colon
oh my God J just left though yeah but
maybe it's not what we think maybe it's
tell Monica I'm sorry I drank the last
of the milk or maybe he he was writing
to tell her that that he's changed his
name you know tell Monica I'm
sorry I think it means he freaked out
and left don't be so
negative God isn't it possible that
sorry is sitting in there right
now okay pH I I think Ross is right I
what are we going to do look okay I'm
just going to I'm going to have to go
find him and bring him back okay you you
make sure Monica does not find out okay
okay but if you don't find him and bring
him back I am going to hunt you down and
kick your
ass I will I will find him I mean my mom
never thought this would work
out she was all once a cheater always a
cheater mhm oh I just wish we hadn't
lost those four months
but if time was what you needed just to
gain a little
perspective we were on the
break Coffey house you bet and for the
record it took two people to break up
this relationship yeah you and that girl
from the copy place which yesterday you
took full responsibility for I didn't
know what I was taking responsibility
for okay I didn't finish the whole
letter what I fell asleep sleep you fell
asleep it was 5:30 in the morning and
you had rambled on for 18
Pages front and
back oh oh and by the way y u apostrophe
r e means you are y r means
you're you know I can't believe I even
thought of getting back together with
you we are so over
fine by
me oh and hey hey hey those little
spelling tips will come in handy when
you're at home on Saturday nights
playing Scrabble with Monica hey
sorry I just feel bad about all that
sleep you're going to miss wishing you
were with me oh no no don't you worry
about me falling asleep I still have
your
letter how could someone get a hold of
your credit card number I have no idea
but look how much they spent Monica
would you calm down the credit card
people said you only have to pay for the
stuff that you bought still it's just
such Reckless spending I think when
somebody steals your credit card they've
kind of already throwing caution to the
Wi wow what a geek they spent $69.95 on
a Wonder
Mop that's
[Laughter]
me oh the yuck Ros he's doing it again
Marcel stop humping in the land stop
humping now Marcel come come back come
here Marcel no no no not in my room I'll
get him Ross you've got to do something
about the humping what it's it's just a
phase well that's what we said about
Joey hey would you all relax it's not
that big a deal Marcel stop it Marcel
Bad Monkey what let's just say my
Curious George doll is no longer curious
I have a weird feeling about this place
and how do I know they're not going to
secretly videotape me and put it all
over the
Internet because honey and I I mean this
in the sweetest way possible nobody's
going to want to watch
that Mr Bing here you are you'll go into
that room and deposit your specimen into
the Container deposit my specimen you
know I usually have to call a 900 number
for that kind of talk
thanks got
it all right honey my tests are down the
hall you sure you're going to be okay
yeah I guess look I know this is
embarrassing but nobody cares no one
here even knows
you oh my
[Applause]
god oh come on
[Applause]
[Laughter]
how great is this yeah we're probably
fertile let's go
home why are you here well Sid and I are
trying again and we had trouble last
time because apparently we no I mean why
why is she
here oh someone's a little cranky today
cuz they have to do it in a cup H oh
they gave you the kitty size
[Music]
what this was fun but I've got an
invasive vaginal exam to get
to I'd love to stay but I've uh got a
hot date please go just let me know if
you need a
hand okay Rachel you're up first
Situation Number one you're with Monica
the wedding is about to start when
Monica gets cold feet go I don't want to
marry
Chandler okay um it's going to be okay
one man the rest of my life I don't know
if I could do it this means I'll never
get to sleep with
Joey look
Monica getting cold feet is very common
you know it's it's just because of all
the anticipation and you just have to
remember that you love Chandler and also
I ran out on a wedding you don't get to
keep the gifts
very good drawing on your own experience
I like
that yes very nice Rachel thank you
judges oh kiss
ass okay Phoebe yes your
honor we're now in the ceremony Monica
is about to say I do when her drunk
uncle starts yelling what do you do go
when monac was a little girl I remember
that
oh very
good yes excellent perfect score right a
minute she just made a scene in the
middle of the ceremony hey you want a
little taste of feeds wants to go first
okay
[Applause]
okay welcome to America
[Applause]
oh go two in a row you got to use your
tongues
[Laughter]
now what are the odds what are
the okay that that's enough you know let
let's let someone else
play if you didn't want to play then
why'd you come to the
party should talk the bill we hope you
enjoyed your stay oh we did and you
still have all your
lamps I didn't factor in the room tax oh
dude don't worry about it uh I found an
unattended maid's C we're way ahead of
the
game oh my God what there's there's
something new in the
bowl look we have enough just walk away
no but I I want I want the pine
cones there's a forest right outside
it's not the same okay go
quick thank you for a delightful
stay my maple
candy everybody else finally we can
start celebrating my
I'm sorry apparently I've opened the
door to the
Past okay uh Monica man okay what what
you just saw can I ask you just a little
question why
tonight what see I've been waiting my
whole life to be engaged and unlike some
people I only planning on doing this
once so I you know I maybe this is
selfish and I'm sorry about it but I I
was kind of hoping tonight could just be
about that oh honey but it is no it's
not no no now it's about you and Ross
getting back together what yeah um you
kind of stole my
thunder okay ho ho we do not steal your
thunder because we are not getting back
together yeah no and and and you know
what nobody even saw
yeah that's
true I I swear we just kissed it was
just a kiss you guys
kissed what does this
mean are you are you get back together
can I sing at your
wedding Thunder being stolen okay come
on B it's nothing come let not make a
big deal out of this it was a onetime
thing it doesn't even matter oh my
God I cannot believe you guys are
talking about this the problem's in the
bedroom between a man and a
woman all right now Chandler is doing
the best he
can your boyfriend has been in there for
over an hour can't believe it it's like
I'm living with him again he's here when
I go to sleep he's here when I wake up
he's here when I want to use the shower
feel like I'm 16 all over again well
you're not 16 you're both adults now get
out you
doofers or you know he's rubber in your
glue all
yours I hope you cleaned your hair out
of the drain I hope you cleaned your
hair out of the dra
shut up
sh cut it out me
me I've never wanted you
more I want to watch Entertainment
Tonight tough nuggies were watching
predators of the serengetti
would you guys stop it's my TV what quit
it bite me oh my god well Monica keeps
changing the channnel a that's great why
don't you tell Mommy on
me now I'm mommy in this little play all
right look I refuse to get sucked into
this like weird little Geller dimension
thing okay so I'm going to go and take a
nice long hot bubble bath because you
kids are driving me
crazy hey hey got a second sure sure
come on in hello sweetheart oh
what you what you guys doing here uh we
are here to break up with
you both of you basically we think
you're a horrible human being and bad
things should happen to
you I'm sorry I'm sorry God I am so
sorry I'm an idiot I was weak I I
couldn't help myself whatever I did I
only did because I love you so
much uh which one of us are you talking
to there bear
Mindy Mindy of course Mindy it was
always Mindy even when we were having
sex in that chair I swear look whatever
I was doing I was always thinking of you
oh please during that second time you
couldn't have picked her out of a lineup
you did it twice well first time didn't
really count I you know it was
buried I overslept I was supposed to be
on the set half an hour ago I got to get
out of here oh what Joy you can't go
that you stink look I don't I fell
asleep before I could take a shower now
I don't have time they're just 10 blocks
away if I run I can make it yeah Run 10
blocks that'll help the smell hey slow
down no keep
moving so how did it go with Joshua last
night oh well I didn't see
Joshua but I did punch a girl in the
face what the whole night was horrible
it was pouring down rain and when I got
there there was no Rachel Green on the
list but there was a Rachel GP oh so did
you get to meet
her no there is no Rachel GP but then
this other girl overheard us and she was
all I'm Rachel G I'm Rachel gep and he
let her right in so you hit her in the
face no she was already in but then this
big behind me tried to steal my
umbrella so I clocked her I just want
you to know that what you witnessed in
there that wasn't for
fun it wasn't fun why why why would you
what what look I just don't want you to
think that we're animals who do it
whenever we want oh I don't think that
before today I never thought of you two
having sex at
all it was a simpler
time the truth is Dad we're we're
trying what yeah we're trying to get
pregnant oh my God this is so exciting
we'll get back in there I'll guard the
door it's okay D we we we can wait until
later whoa whoa waa I don't think so so
aren't you ovulating
daddy well you got to get at it princess
when your mother and I were trying to
conceive you whenever she was ovulating
bam we did it that's how I got my bad
hip it's funny this conversation is how
I got the bullet hole in my head all
right check out this bad boy 12
megabytes of ram 500 megabyte hard drive
built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a
modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS
wow what are you going to use it for
games and
stuff there are no jobs there are no
jobs for me oh wait here's one uh would
you be willing to cook
naked there's an ad for a Naked Chef no
but if you're willing to cook naked then
you might be willing to dance naked
there hi hey hey oh so um how'd you make
out last night
[Applause]
that that is funny that is painfully
funny no wait wait yeah that's just
painful wait a minute I thought last
night was was great yeah it was but I
get home okay and I see Julie's sailing
Solution on my night table and I'm
thinking to myself oh my God what the
hell am I doing I mean here I am I'm
with Julie this incredible great woman
who I care about and and who cares about
me and I'm like what am I just going to
throw all that away you got all that
from saline solution
wait a minute we're talking about Rachel
here you and Rachel oh believe me I've
been dreaming about me and Rachel for
like 10 years now but now I'm with Julie
you know so it's like me and Julie me
and Rachel me and Julie me and ra Rachel
Rachel hey you how are you good how are
you good good hi Honey hi Julie hi
Julie
Julie um how are are you good good so
everybody's
here everybody's
good so were you going to play something
Phoebe well actually I had
to all right hey Julie I didn't know you
wore lenses
what okay um hi hello hi okay so um this
is a song um about a love triangle
between three people that I made
up um it's called um two of them kissed
last
night there was a girl will call her
Betty and a guy let's call him
Neil now I can't stress this point too
strongly this story isn't real
now o Neal must decide who will be the
girl that he casts aside will Betty be
the one who he loves truly or will it be
the one who will call
[Music]
LLY he must decide he must decide even
though I made him up he must decide just
love the beginning parts of
relationships you know you just like
can't keep your hands off each other and
I know it is the best God
so so how long did that last for you and
Chandler what it's still going on come
on seriously when did it
end I am serious I mean we're we're all
over each other all the time okay well
you know where you are better than I do
I was just curious why don't you just
calm down Phoebe all
right I W you just get all your facts
before you run around telling everybody
that you know you're the only hot
couple God I woke the Beast um
I was wrong obviously I just I misspoke
it's okay oh it is okay I mean as long
as you know that Chandler and I are also
very hot and fiery I mean just as hot as
you I mean our flame woo it is on
fire hey Monica here's your broom
back you are so cute
[Music]
you know Rachel funny thing actually uh
The End Zone starts at that pole so
you're 5T short so we
[Applause]
win wait wait wait wait wait so explain
something to me though if if nobody
tagged Rachel then isn't the place still
going I'm
pregnant what now give me the sandwich
give me the
sandwich obviously this is a mistake you
can't be pregnant because you have to
have sex to get
pregnant Joe I tried to wait until I was
25 like you
did what Dina
can't believe this you're the good one
you went to college both
years who did the steal Bobby Corso but
he's a real nice guy I like him a lot
he's real funny you got pregnant for
funny
Dina if he's funny
laugh I'll be back in a little while you
stay here why we I can't look at you
right
now wow I
know S I know it's our anniversary but I
told you on the phone I don't have time
to stop okay you don't have to stop I'm
invisible I'm not here yeah but I
don't who approved that order well there
is no Mark Robinson in this office get
me Mark on the phone oh I love Mark do
you know Mark yeah well let me just
check that with what I've got here all
right see 038 is not the number for this
score Z
creat
pepper none for
me I'm sorry as I was saying the store
number is wrong and I'm sorry but that
is oh my
God oh my
okay oh yeah oh yeah excuse me I'm sorry
I'm going to have to call you back I've
got a shm in my
office what are you doing I'm sorry but
um hey oh somebody's off the phone how
about a glass of wine by the fire I get
it going again is having a secret Days
of Our Lives Party Up on the Roof and he
sent you guys to the play to get rid of
you
what what what's what's going on Joey is
having a secret Days of Our Lives Party
Up on the Roof and and he didn't want
you guys to know about it but I came
over here to tell
you I thought you came to say you were
sick all right Professor or
detective Joey's having a party and he
wasn't going to invite us yeah he does
it every year that's why he's sending
you to the play that's why he sent us to
that medieval restaurant and to that
button factory and that that horrible
Museum tour no I arranged that
hey you guys I'm turning in have
fun you know about your party Joey what
party the game's over take off your
robe great I
mean playing game you want to show
Rachel come here you want to do
something fun okay
[Music]
[Music]
you're so brave you're so brave yes you
are you're so brave okay okay H he's
fine he's fine let's just put him down
come here babe yes you're such a good
boy how could you do that to him Ross
trusted me what is he going to say he's
not going to say anything because we're
not going to tell him we're not no we're
not all right I like that okay
so we're okay we're okay we're okay
aren't we no we're not okay we're not
okay there's a bump there's a bump
there's a bu bump oh my God we push it
in push it in I cannot push it
in okay we're going to need a
distraction okay that's it okay I got it
okay the second that Ross walks in that
door yeah I want you to take him back to
your bedroom and you do whatever it is
that you do that makes him
[Music]
go or
we could put a hat on his head a hat yes
we need a hat we need a hat where are we
going to find a tiny little hat w w I'll
get rainy J bear I guess he'll know what
to
do oh my God you're a genius oh God it's
it's kind of sewn on though give it give
it
okay oh it's just like a blood bath in
here today or you could just you know
[Laughter]
what the hell are you
doing what the hell am I doing he just
broke my
fridge what what how do you know if how
do you know it's even Broken Oh you
think I don't know what breaks my
fridge excuse
me well what do you know
broken that'll be
$400 Joey I saw you push
him you pushed
them Joey I did not break this okay that
has been broken for a
while I Chan remember I told you about
our fridge uhhuh I still haven't gotten
a check for your half
yet do not give him any money I'm not
talking to you you broke my fridge took
care of everything thanks a lot co-host
wait a minute take care of everything
there's there's plenty of things for you
to do uhhuh like
what
cops cups you're giving me
cups and
Ice cups and Ice oh I get to be in
charge of Cups and Ice all
right fine okay I will be in charge of
Cups and Ice wait a minute I can get ice
at the restaurant I got it mine
hey check it out um cup hat cup Banner
cup Chandelier and the thing that
started it all the
cup great job with the cups
feves why don't you just go out with
her and did you notice the ice look we
have it all we have crushed cubed and
dry watch
a mystico
I no one's eating my tus and finger food
because they're all filling up on ph
snow cones there snow cones
snow I would like to make a toast to
Rachel and
Joey and to
love a
love l o v e
love l is for life and what is life
without
love oh my God are we supposed to
answer
O is
for oh
wow the
V is for this very surprising turn of
events which I am still fine with by the
way
is for how extremely normal I find it
that you
two are
together and that one day you might get
married I have children of your own
dude are you okay
totally Ross you don't seem okay I'm
sorry it must be the pressure of
entertaining buy and WRA all of your
Christmas gifts
no I uh oh I'll squeeze you fresh orange
juice every morning with extra pulp yeah
no
D I've got it you don't have it I so got
it there's going to be rumors about this
there's no way to stop it Sophie knows
Monica and Phoebe know how do Monica and
Phoebe know oh I called
them when they ask me what I saw I can
be very
generous or very
stingy go
on I can make you a
legend I can make you this generation's
Milton
Burl and Milton Burl has oh not compared
to
you hello
hey hello
Chandler I love
you hey what's going on
help no he doesn't
two hours that
lasted has anybody seen my engagement
ring yeah it's
beautiful oh God oh God oh God oh God oh
God oh God oh God no don't don't touch
that oh like I wasn't dreading tomorrow
enough having to give it back to him hi
Barry remember me I'm the girl in The
Veil that stomped on your heart in front
of your entire family oh God and now I'm
going to to return the ring without the
ring which makes it so much
harder easy rage we'll find it won't
wait oh yeah yeah okay
look all right when didd you have it on
last do probably right before she lost
it you don't get a lot of doy these
days no I had it this morning I know I
had it when I was in the kitchen with d
oh don't be
mad you didn't oh I'm sorry I gave you
one
job oh but look how straight those
noodles
are now Monica you know that's not how
you look for an engagement ring in
lasagna I just can't do
it
boys we're going in and I were talking
and and I was so upset about the hall
being knocked down and she suggested
that we just put the wedding off for a
bit she said what she said if I'm not
going to be happy getting married
somewhere that we can find in a day well
then we should just postpone
it postpone
it Emily do you think manica realizes
how much our parents spent on this
wedding huh do you think my sister's
teeny tiny little brain comprehends that
people took time out of their lives to
fly thousands of miles to be here
huh this isn't
right I realize that people are going to
be
disappointed but I'm sure they'll come
back when we can do it right well I
can't ask people to do that would you
ask people to do that don't you point
your pants at
me we have no choice
anywhere that's half decent will have
been B months ago Ross don't you
understand this is our wedding I'm
talking about the only thing I
understand is postponing it is not an
option this is when we're getting
married so what are you saying it's now
or never no I'm saying it's now or
there's no or in mine what is wrong with
these
pants it's not the pants it's you who's
backwards and if and if you don't
understand how important this is to me
well then perhaps we shouldn't be
getting married at all what Emily no
wait stop Emily
please where are the jello shots I don't
know Chand them supposed to be past
them CH
helloo oh somebody's feeling
better stick out your tongue take off
your
shirt oh my oh my God how many of these
did you have these are pure vodka yeah
Jal just like Mom used to
[Applause]
make okay how many of that girl are you
seeing how hammered are you huh the
these are Joey's sisters hi Joey sisters
what you
doing I'm taking my ex-girlfriend off my
speed dialer a no no no no it's a good
thing why must we dial so speedily
anyway why must we rush through life why
can't we Savor the precious moments
those are some huge breasts you
have oh it's my wedding planner she's
driving me
crazy
hello hey okay stop
screaming okay so halib
it all right so salmon either way I
don't I don't it doesn't matter to me
well it matters to me
I don't care so you pick did you just
hang up on
me all right look I need you at the
rehearsal dinner tonight at 1,800 hours
uh-huh okay what time is
that you don't know military time well I
must have been in missile training the
day they taught
that just subtract 12 okay so 1,800 - 12
is
1,788 6
o00 hold on yeah Geller here
no I said it has to be there by 4:00
goodbye God how hard is it to make an
ice sculpture ice sculpture that sounds
really fancy I told you I just want a
simple wedding please honey leave the
details to me now I want to make this
day a special for you as I can no okay I
was thinking that the harpus should wear
white well harpus my friend Marjorie is
playing the steel drums oh she backed
out she did why I made
her steel drums don't really say an
wedding nor does margery's overwhelming
scent hey she will shower when Tibet is
free supposed to be back by now yeah but
her plane got delayed in Athens but
actually she should be here by now oh so
you talked to her did she did she sound
mad no but she likes
me you abandoned her on a plane to
Greece okay I did not abandon Rachel
okay Emily showed up at the airport I
had to go after her I mean I I did what
I had to do she's my wife Rachel is my
wife you know
Emily Emily is my
wife man what is
that so you still haven't heard from
Emily no not since I lost her at the
airport I can't believe she can outrun
you man hey she's fast
okay oh you think you can beat me let's
go
outside hi
re ra I am so sorry I am so so sorry oh
Ross come on you just did what you had
to
do my be well that's it you're not mad I
mean it must have been terrible terrible
hell I was in
Greece that was a nice hotel nice Beach
met the nice people it's not too shabby
for
Rachel so what that's it oh yeah we're
cool totally
cool thanks R you're the best Oh no
you're the
best oh I got to go to the flower store
oh check it out no one will tell me
where Emily is so I'm going to send 72
long stemmed red roses to her parents
house one for each day that I've known
and loved her that ought to get her
talking to me again oh Ross when you
make out the card be sure to make it out
to Emily
that's great it's so good that you had
such a good time in
Greece
what I didn't have a good time in Greece
Ross abandoned me okay I couldn't get a
plane out so I had to stay in their
honeymoon suite with people coming up to
me all the time going oh Mrs Keller why
you
cry I mean it was so humiliating I felt
like such an idiot I mean it's all my
fault and you know why because I make
very bad decisions oh that's not true
yes it is it is true I I went after Ross
in stupid London London is stupid
stupid phbe you were right I should have
never gone to London and from now on you
make all of my decisions for me oh no I
did that for someone once I'm I'm not
comfortable having that kind of power
and control over someone's life
I'll do
it hey everybody Happy Thanksgiving no
no no no no no what are we keeping
Thanksgiving a secret this year no we
are playing this game I learned at work
you have to name all the states in 6
minutes what that's like insanely easy
no it's a lot harder than it sounds you
always forget at least one or in some
cases
14 it's a stupid game and I wasn't
playing against other people so
technically I didn't lose what you
forgot 14 States nobody cares about the
dtas oh okay time's up all right I got
48 it's not bad BBS oh I got tired of
naming States so I decided to list the
types of
celery and I have one regular
celery okay so Rachel's got 48 and
Phoebe has the lead
in vegetables Joey say hello to the new
champ of Chandler's dumb States game wow
how many you got
56 done with time a to spare oo this may
be a new world's record you know I hate
to lecture you guys but it's kind of
disgraceful that a group of
well-educated adults and
Joey can't name all the states you ever
see a map or one of those round colorful
things called a globe
uh
mellin you got 46 States what that's
impossible 46 well who's well educated
now Mr I forgot 10 states Okay Ross time
is up no just give me another minute
look Ross if you don't know them by now
you will never know them okay that is
the beauty of this game it makes you
want to kill
yourself this this is crazy I can do
this all right uh I bet I can get all 50
uh before dinner okay but if you can't
no dinner you're on all right don't look
at my list Ross cuz there's a lot on
there that you don't
have how can I not get this I'm a
college professor I got 1450 on my SATs
1250 damn I forgot you were
here Ro you need some help from
you yes please
first of all
Utah dude you can't just make stuff
up I hate
America when I finish this game I swear
I am
moving okay maybe this is so hard
because there aren't 50
states let me tell you something I have
49 states and there are no
more I I think I should be able to eat
something it's up to
you look
uh I know why you're here you do yeah
and to save you from any embarrassment
um I think maybe I should talk
first okay okay
Ross and
Rachel Rachel and
Ross that's been one heck of a seesaw
hasn't
it
what I mean look that that one night we
had was fun and and certainly passionate
but don't you think it's better if we
just stay
friends seriously
what okay okay you know what if you want
to we can do it one more
time I mean I I'd be okay with that in
fact I have some time right now okay you
know what can I can I talk now oh sure
okay
ah I'm
pregnant
Ross
R okay whenever you're ready
[Laughter]
[Applause]
and you're the father by the way but you
[Laughter]
got can I get you some water I'm good
I'm
good Ross there is no pressure on you
okay I mean you can be as involved as
you
want yeah I uh I'm just I don't know I
don't
understand um how this happen
happened we we used the condom I know I
know but you know condoms only work like
97% of the time what
what
what well they should put that on the
box they do no they don't
[Applause]
well they should put it in huge block
letters Okay Ross come on let's just
forget about the condoms oh well I may
as well
have listen you know what I was really
freaked out too when I found out hey I'm
I freaked
out I'm indignant as a
consumer you know what let's let's talk
later no I want to talk now okay I in
fact I want to talk to the
president of the condom company okay you
know what maybe I should come back
okay yeah I'll press one change in my
room my clothes are
[Music]
wow you look no time for
that hey dude let me in I got a girl out
here well I've got a girl in
here you don't I just saw you go in
there with
Monica oh we're we're hanging out in
here which one of us is going to be
having sex in there me or you
well I suppose I would have to say
you what if we're watching a movie in
here which we are a and we already paid
for it it's my
giant my giant I love that movie don't
embarrassed that easily what you totally
get embarrassed no I don't Ross I I
think I'm just a more secure person than
you are is that so
yeah hey lady I'm I don't care how much
you want it okay I am not going to have
sex with you in the
bathroom uh I'm on my way back to the
bathroom yeah all right all right just
keep walking all
right what are you I'm sorry sir I just
I think he just really likes
[Music]
you hey you know that teacher who had a
baby with her
[Music]
student What the hi can I help you yes
I'm Sorry Miss do you have any extra
pants uh my friend seem to have had a
little
accident Rachel she and Phoebe took the
stripper to the
hospital did you know Chandler kissed
Rachel what when when was this
1987 the weekend you guys visited me at
school oh my God that's wild yeah but it
was like a million years ago so it
doesn't matter well it matters to me why
because the night you kissed Rachel was
the night I kissed Rachel for the very
first time you kissed her that night to
two two guys in one night wow I thought
she became a sled after she got her nose
fixed seriously where did this happen
Okay after you told me she was passed
out in our room I went in there to make
sure she was all right she was lying on
my bed all buried in people's coats well
I I went to kiss her on the forehead you
know but it was so dark I accidentally
got her lips I started to pull away but
then I I felt her start to kiss me back
it was only for a second but it was
amazing and now now I find out that you
kissed her first oh wait what bed did
you say she was on mine I'm pretty sure
I put her on my bed no she was
definitely on my bed why would I kiss a
girl and then put her on your
bed well then who was on my bed oh oh
oh no no
no you were under the pile of coats I
was the pile of coats
oh my
God you are my midnight mystery
kisser you were my first kiss with
Rachel you were my first kiss
ever what did I marry into
[Music]
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