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Chandler.
Chandler. I saw what you were doing
through the window. I saw what you were
doing to my sister. Now get out of here.
Listen, we had a good run. You know,
what was it? Four, five months. I mean,
that's more than most people have in a
lifetime. So, goodbye. Take care.
Bye-bye then.
>> What are you doing?
>> Oh, I'm going on the lamb.
>> Come on, J. Come on. I can handle Ross.
Hold on.
>> Hey, Ross. What's up, bro?
>> What
the hell are you doing?
>> Hey, what's what's going on?
>> Well, I think I think Ross knows about
me and Monica.
>> Dude, he's right there.
>> I thought you were my best friend. This
is my sister. My best friend. And my
sister. I I cannot believe this.
>> Look, we're not just messing around. I
love her, okay? I'm in love with her.
>> I'm so sorry that you had to find out
this way.
Sorry, but it's true. I I love him, too.
>> My best friend and my sister.
I cannot believe this.
>> Oh, sorry. You guys want to probably get
some hugs in, too, huh? Big news.
>> No, that's okay. We've actually known
for a while.
>> What? What? What? You guys knew? You You
all knew and you didn't tell me?
>> Well, Ross, we were worried about you.
Okay. We didn't know how you were going
to react.
You were worried about me.
You didn't know how I was going to
react.
Okay. All right. What do you say we all
uh clear out of here and let these two
love birds get back down to business?
>> Hey, hey, hey. I'm just talking here. He
He's the one doing your sister.
>> Dude, we got to talk.
>> Okay. I just wanted to tell you
something before you heard it from
someone else. And I hope this isn't too
weird, but uh
I had a a thing with Janice.
[Laughter]
>> Well, you you're not mad?
>> Why would I be mad?
>> Well, because you know there are certain
rules about this kind of stuff. If you
don't uh you don't fool around with your
friends ex-girlfriends or uh possible
girlfriends or girls they're related to.
I am mad.
Well, you know what I'm going to do? I'm
going to forgive you because that's what
friends do. They forgive their friends
when they do everything you just said.
All the things on the list there. Well,
but I want you to remember that I
forgave you.
>> Okay? I also want you to remember that I
let you live here rentree.
All right? And I want you to remember
that I gave you $27.
No strings attached. Now, if you can't
remember that, I think we should write
it down. Let's write it down.
>> You really think this is okay?
>> Well, Ross and Emily aren't going to use
it.
Oh, it's so beautiful.
>> Oh,
you know, I I don't know if I feel right
about this.
>> Oh, mama. Mama mama.
>> This is the honeymoon suite. The room
expects sex.
The room would be disappointed if it
didn't get sex. All the other honeymoon
suites would think it was a loser.
>> Okay. Okay,
>> Emily. Nope. Not under here.
>> Oh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
>> Is that Joey? Let me talk to him.
>> No, cuz he didn't believe in my movie.
>> Which is a big mistake because it is
real. Real.
>> Hey, you know what? I've been trying to
apologize to him all week. If he's not
going to let me do it on the phone, I'm
going to go down there. I'm going to do
it in person.
>> Uh, thieves. I heard that. Uh, can you
put him on?
>> Yeah.
Hey, don't come out here.
No, no, no, no. I support you 100% and I
want to prove that to you in person.
>> I got that. I forgive you. Don't come
out here.
>> Forgive me. You haven't been taking my
calls for a week.
>> Well, I'm totally over it, Chandler.
Friends forever. Don't come out here.
>> Would you mind doing a picture with us?
>> What was that?
>> Uh, entertainment tonight.
>> Yeah. Okay. So, good talking to you. And
don't come out here. All right.
What took you so long?
>> I got caught up at work, but I'm
quitting tomorrow.
So, thanks for having me over.
>> Ra
peeps.
>> See you.
>> What the hell was that?
probably some, you know, European
goodbye thing he picked up in London. I
It's not European.
>> It felt French.
>> And you know, if I get really hot, um I
I like to pick up this knife and and um
I I put the the cold steel against um
my body.
>> Are you all right?
I'm fine.
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
What do we got here? 20-year-old male.
He's got a severed toe on his right
foot.
>> Could you please not do that feet first?
You know where his injury is. Severed
toe. You just said it.
It says here the knife went right
through your shoe.
>> Of course it did. They're made of
wicker.
>> Did you bring the toe?
>> Oh, yes. I have it right here on ice.
>> Don't worry, son. We'll just reattach
it. And then
>> what? What is it?
>> You brought a carrot.
>> What? This isn't your toe. This is a
small, very cold piece of carrot.
>> You brought a carrot? Oh my god, there's
a toe in my kitchen.
>> Monica,
what time is it?
>> Uh, 9,
but it's dark out. Um, well, that's
because you always sleep till noon,
silly.
>> This is what 9 looks like.
>> I guess I'll get washed up then.
>> Watch that sunrise.
>> I'm really getting tired of sneaking
around all the time.
>> I know. Me, too. You know, hey, you know
what? What if we went away for the whole
weekend? You know, we'd have no
interruptions and we could be naked the
entire time.
>> All weekend? That's a whole lot of
naked.
Yeah, I can say that I have a conference
and you can say you have a chef thing.
>> Oh, I've always wanted to go to this
culinary fair that they have in Jersey.
>> Okay. You know, you're not though.
>> Let's go.
>> Okay. Wait, what about Joey?
[Music]
Dan Rolos.
>> Hey, you're back.
>> Hey, how was your conference?
>> It was terrible. I fought with my
colleagues the entire time. Are you
kidding with this?
>> Uh, so your weekend was a total bust.
>> Uh, no. I got to see Donald Trump
waiting for an elevator.
All right.
Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh hotel you stayed
at called
said someone left an eyelash curler in
your room.
>> Yes, that was mine.
Cuz I figured you hooked up with some
girl and she left it there.
>> Yes, that would have made more sense.
>> You know, I I don't even feel like I
know you anymore, man. All right. Look,
I'm just going to ask you this one time.
All right? And whatever you say, I'll
believe you.
Were you or were you not on a gay
cruise?
>> Hey. Hey.
>> Hey.
>> Oh, hey, Monica. I heard you saw Donald
Trump at your convention.
>> Yeah. So, I'm waiting for an elevator.
>> Hey, Ra. Can you borrow your eyelash
curler? I think I lost mine. Yeah, it's
in the back.
[Applause]
>> Joey, can I talk to you for a second?
[Music]
Yes.
Yes.
You and and you.
>> Yes. But you cannot tell anyone. No one
knows.
>> How? When?
>> It happened in London.
>> In London?
>> The reason we didn't tell anyone was cuz
we didn't want to make a big deal out of
it.
>> But it is a big deal.
I have to tell someone.
>> You can't.
>> Please. Please. We just don't want to
deal with telling everyone. Okay. Just
promise you won't tell.
>> All right.
Man, this is unbelievable.
I mean, it's great, but
>> I know it's great.
>> Oh, I don't want to see that. Hey,
Is the show still on? Almost over, man.
>> Hey, N. Oh, go. Is that the Pope?
>> Why am I looking?
>> Oh, look. Here I am. Look, this is my
big scene.
>> All right, back off.
>> I got a gun.
>> I'm not afraid to use it.
>> Oh, Joey.
>> That's right, Lonely.
>> You couldn't have at least changed your
shirt.
Now, I want a suitcase filled with
$100,000 of
filled with $100,000 in small bills. And
if I don't get
And if I don't get it,
I'm going to shoot this duck.
>> Oh no.
>> I'm coming out.
Is she supposed to buy this?
>> Joey Bravo.
>> Ground control to major.
Commencing countdown. Engines
on.
That's a scenes from next week's show.
Next week.
I am definitely going to watch that.
>> You know, that night meant a lot to me,
too. And it wasn't cuz I was in a bad
place or anything. It just meant a lot
to me cuz you're really hot.
>> Is that okay?
>> That's okay.
>> And I'm cute, too.
>> And you're cute, too.
>> Thank you.
All right. I got to go unpack.
>> Okay.
Bye.
>> I'm still on London time. Does that
count?
>> Oh, that counts.
>> Oh, good.
>> How How are we going to mess with them?
Oh,
>> well, you could use your position, you
know, as the roommate, and then I would
use, you know, the strongest tool at my
disposal, my sexuality.
>> Hello, children.
>> Hey.
>> Hey.
>> Okay. Watch, learn, and don't eat my
cookie.
>> Hey.
>> Hey.
Wow, that jacket looks great on you.
>> Really?
>> Yeah. The material looks so soft. Oh,
hello, Mr. Bicep.
You've been working out?
>> Well, I try to, you know, squeeze
things.
>> You okay?
>> Well, if you really want to know, I Oh,
I can't tell you this.
>> Maybe it's me. You can tell me anything.
>> Well, actually, you're the one person I
can't tell this to and the one person I
want to the most.
What's going on?
>> I think it's just, you know, that I
haven't been with a guy in so long and
you know how sometimes you're looking
for something and you just don't even
see that it's right there in front of
you sipping coffee.
Oh, no. Have I said too much?
>> You look cute in bubbles.
>> You're just all liquored up.
>> Hey, it's me coming in.
I've had a very long hard day.
>> Uh, I'm going to go get some chicken.
You want some?
>> Uh, no thanks. No chicken. Bye-bye then.
>> You sure? Some extra crispy dirty rice
beans
>> for the last time. No. Get out. Get out,
Joey.
>> All right.
>> Are you okay? I'm so sorry. He wouldn't
leave. He kept asking me if I wanted a
chicken.
Chicken.
I could eat some chicken.
>> Hey Joe.
>> Yeah. Can I get a threepiece? Some
kleslaw and some beans and a Coke. Diet
Coke.
>> Isn't this great?
>> Couldn't you just stay like this
forever?
Couldn't you just stay here forever?
>> Yeah, here somewhere else. You know,
where? Wherever.
>> Are you okay?
>> Yeah, I'm cool. Casual.
>> What? What are you doing?
>> Well, just hanging out, you know, having
fun, you know, with the girl that I'm
seeing casually.
>> Man, I knew it. I knew you were going to
do this.
>> What?
>> Get all freaked out because everybody
was talking and just joking around about
marriage and stuff. Well, you you do
want all that stuff, right?
>> Oh, and you know what I want.
>> Yes, you want babies. You have baby
fever.
>> I do not have baby fever.
>> Oh, please. You are obsessed with babies
and and marriage and everything that's
related to babies and and and marriage.
You know what? I got a good idea. Why
don't we turn the heat down on this
pressure cooker?
>> You lost your mind, Taylor. This isn't
about me. This is about you and all your
weird relationship commitment crap.
>> Nuh-uh. I know you. Okay. I know the
thoughts that you have in the head in
your head.
>> You don't know everything. Did you know
that I'm going out with Rachel tonight
instead of you? H And did you know that
the only baby around here is you? And
did you know that I can't even look at
you right now?
>> Yo, I did not know that.
>> It's going to be okay, right? I mean,
she's not going to leave me. This is
This is fixable.
>> Oh,
>> yeah. Yeah, sure. Absolutely.
>> By me.
>> Oh, no.
>> No, no, no.
>> Well, unless you make some kind of big
gesture.
>> Yeah, big though.
>> Oh, [ __ ] The misses.
>> Here. Can I Can I get a coffee
>> to go?
Monica, I'm
>> I'm still not done not wanting to talk
to you.
>> Just tell me what I need to do to make
things right.
>> What? Well, that's what we do. You know,
I I mess up and then you tell me how to
fix it and then I do and then, you know,
you think I'm all cute again.
I'm
>> really I'm really tired of being your
relationship tutor. You're going to have
to figure this one out for yourself,
right? You know what? You're too afraid
to be in a real relationship. Then don't
be in one.
>> Monica, I need to talk to her. It's
urgent. Is she here? Hi, Monica.
>> I need to talk to you. It's urgent.
>> Okay.
>> Okay. I've been doing a lot of thinking
about us. You know, a lot of uh us
thinking and uh well, I guess there's
only one one way to do this.
[Applause]
>> What are you doing,
>> Monica?
>> No, no, no. Don't don't don't do it.
>> Will you marry me?
[Applause]
What a not a bad idea.
>> Oh, I can't not look at it.
>> Chandler, why are you doing this?
>> I don't know,
>> but I know I'm not afraid to do this,
>> Chandler.
>> I'm doing this because I'm sorry.
>> Do you um you really think the best
reason to get married is because you're
sorry?
>> Well, no. The best reason to get married
is pregnancy.
Sorry, is pretty much fourth, you know,
behind being ready and actually wanting
to get married.
>> Will you be my wife,
>> Taylor? Um, I want you to take just a
minute and I want you to think about how
ridiculous this sounds.
>> Yeah, I'm kind of wishing everyone
wasn't here right now.
>> I do. You know that none of that stuff
came from me? I mean, I never said that
I wanted to have babies and get married
right now.
>> Yeah, I don't. But I was really
confused. And then I talked to these
guys.
>> Who? Two divorces and Joey.
>> Hey, she's right. You know,
>> yeah, but still cheap shot.
>> You know what? You know when I said that
I want you to deal with this
relationship stuff all on your own?
>> Well, you're not ready for that.
>> I didn't think I was.
Nice try.
>> Wait, wait, wait, wait.
>> Look, Monica.
>> This is not going to work.
>> I bet this will work.
[Laughter]
You are so great. I love you.
>> What?
>> Nothing. I said I said you're so great
and then I just I just stopped talking.
>> You said you love me. I can't believe
this.
>> No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
>> No, I didn't.
>> You love me.
>> No, I don't. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
Stop it.
>> What did you just say?
>> You roll another heart eight and we get
married here tonight.
>> Are you serious?
>> Yes, I love you. I've never loved
anybody as much as I love you.
>> I've never loved anybody as much as I
love you.
Okay. So, if an eight comes up, we take
it as a sign and we do it. What do you
say?
>> Okay.
>> Part eight.
>> Okay. That's a four. And where where's
the other one? It went under the table.
>> Nobody moved. Okay.
>> You look that way. I look this way.
>> Here it is. Here it is.
That could be a four or a five.
>> It's your call.
>> It's a four.
>> Hello. One marriage, please.
>> Yep. We want to get married.
>> Well, there's a service in progress.
Have a seat.
>> All right.
D.
[Music]
>> What are you doing?
>> Oh, that's the wedding march. Does Does
that freak you out?
>> No, only because it's the graduation
song.
>> Okay, this is it. We're going to get
married.
>> Are you sure you want to do this?
[Applause]
>> Hello, Mrs.
Well, hello Mr. Rachel.
[Music]
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