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thanks
okay I'm setting the phone
down but I'm still
here just don't go anywhere I'm still
here don't don't switch or anything cuz
I'm I'm right here just one
sec one sec one second wait one second
just what Monica I'm
scared that's that's a sleeve okay
and we also have a speaker phone please
stay on the line your call is important
to us he wait you got to hang up cuz
we're going to be late thank you for
your patience you're the next caller yes
yes I'm the next caller you're going to
have me hang
up
hey can you take a duck and a chick to
the
theater of course not okay I just wanted
them to hear it from somebody
else find the waxine and linen strips to
leg number one did that
okay grasp one of the linen strips by
its easy grab Tab and pull it off in one
quick pain-free motion
okay it not
painfree no it was painful oh my God
they should call it pain Zine now with
the little
wax well the girls in the satin 9s on
the commercial don't seem to think it's
that bad that's because they're nerves
are probably deadened from being so
stupid but hey you know if you don't
believe me please be my
guest ow ow ow ow oh my God now aren't
you glad we didn't start with the bikini
[Music]
strips all right it's okay it's okay
we were just waxing our legs
off for your information this happens to
be a pain like no man will ever
experience yeah well I don't think you
can make that statement unless you've
been kicked in an area the God only
meant to be treated
nicely yeah I I think women just have a
lower threshold for pain than men that's
all I mean come on it's just a little
wax oh yeah come
here oh that's mature
okay fine so now what I just pull it off
that's
right who else wants one of my special
homemade brownies I will have
one oh yeah I'm not going to have one of
those no no it's just my tooth all I'll
have one of
those so what's the matter you need a
dentist I've got a good one oh thanks I
have a good one too I just I
I I can't see him see that is the
problem with invisible
dentists why why can't you go to him
because every time I go to the dentist
somebody
dies that is so weird because every time
I go to the dentist I look down the
hygienist
blouse Phoebe what um what yeah yeah
first there was my Aunt Mary and then
there was um John my mailman and then my
my C boyfriend albino
Bob and all of these people actually
died yes while I was in the chair that's
why I take such good care of my teeth
now you know it's not about oral hygiene
I floss to save
lives fees come on you didn't kill
anybody these people just happen to die
when you went to the dentist it's it's
just a coincidence well tell that to
them oh you can't they're
dead I'm here ready to play okay I
brought a bunch of stuff for the house
so check it
out what's this that's a dog every house
should have a dog not one that can pee
on the
roof maybe it's so big because the house
was built on radioactive
waste and is this in case the house
sneezes no no that's the ghost for the
Attic
I don't want a ghost well nobody wants a
ghost but you've got one because the
house is sitting on an ancient Indian
burial
ground wait a minute the house was built
on radioactive waste and an ancient
Indian burial
ground that would never happen crazy
underwear creeping at my
butt crazy underwear always in right
crazy
underwear oh no what is he doing here
all right just keep playing just keep
playing you'll get through this you'll
be
[Music]
fine okay thank
you and as always no one talked to me
after the show
hey I was passing by and thought you
were playing tonight it's kind of cool
seeing you up
there whoa hey hey what's going on here
who's this guy I don't know he just
started kissing me get him get him
Vince what
what yeah okay I've I've been dating
both of
you and it's been really horrible cuz
you know it's been a lot of fun for
me but I I like you both and I and I
didn't know how to choose so I'm sorry
I'm just I'm terrible I'm a terrible
person I'm terrible Phoebe Phoebe relax
it's okay I mean we never said this was
exclusive yeah neither did we give
yourself a
break really yeah I mean you know we
haven't going out that long come on we
haven't even slept together
yet you
haven't you have okay well this is none
of my
business what's
this isn't it cool ro
ro this is not the bed I ordered I know
you must have won like a contest or
something
bab what why is this car in my bedroom
I'm sorry okay I I wasn't looking and
the store said that they won't take it
back because you've signed for it when
did I sign for it when I was you you
know what it's all Joey's fault cuz he
left his nose
open did you make brownies
today knock knock quick take off your
dress you won't notice the
bed hey I'm going for sushi does anybody
want
uh who oh somebody missed the
offramp it's Monica's bed what
okay it's a race
car so this has always been Monica's bed
you're just noticing now how self-
involved are
you okay well if this bed isn't new then
how come there's plastic on the
mattress sometimes I have bad
dreams hey
hey what are you doing here well I I
thought a lot about what you said and um
I realized I maybe I was a little
judgmental yeah oh but oh now baby
remember hey they're just fulfilling
their Christmas Destiny sure
yes
okay yikes that one doesn't look very
fulfill oh that's uh that's one of the
old ones he's just taking it to the back
you keep the old one in the back that is
so
aist but we have to make room for the
fresh ones so what happens to the old
guys well they go into the
chipper well I have a feeling that's not
as happy as it
sounds
[Applause]
no hey hey
hey CU I have to break up with someone
and okay so Jason is sensitive but now
so's Vince plus Vince has the body you
know
so it's really just about the
[Music]
math Jason yeah come on in
[Laughter]
oh Phoebe you sounded kind of serious on
the phone is uh is anything wrong
nuh-uh uh somebody's at the door on the
ceiling H that's our unbelievably loud
upstairs neighbor yeah he took up the
carpets and now you can hear everything
but why don't you go up there and ask
him to just like step lightly
please I have like five times but the
guy is so Charming that I go up there to
yell and then end up apologizing to him
oh that is
silly I'll go up there I'll tell him to
keep it down all right be my guest Lo
all right all right all right all right
all right if you really want to know how
I did it I'll
sure when you handed me back the card
what you didn't see was I looked at it
so fast it was invisible to the naked
eye I just did
it just did it
again here I'll slow it down so you guys
can see it ready
yeah I my friend here and we everything
[Music]
you feel
very thank
you hey R can I ask you something yeah
okay you can totally say no but um um
would it be okay with you if I set Ross
up on a date oh uh with who um my friend
Bonnie she just always thought Ross was
really cute and now that you two aren't
together she asked if I could set it up
but if you're not cool with it which one
is Bonnie again you remember her from my
birthday party two years ago she's yeah
like average height medium build bald
oh that's fine great okay a good for you
all
[Music]
[Applause]
right oh that was depressing I think I
just bought a soft pretzel from one of
the kids from
Fame ready to go to the movies mhm oh ra
this is Bonnie
hi this is Bonnie this is Bonnie you're
Bonnie I can show you an ID if you want
no just you look a lot different than
the last time I I saw you oh yeah well I
just started wearing bras again oh that
must be
it well I hope you have fun tonight
thanks you too
okay you said she was bold yeah she was
bald she's not
now how could you not tell me that she
has hair I don't know I hardly ever say
that about people oh well this is just
perfect well I'm sorry I thought you
said it was okay yeah I said it was okay
when I thought she was some weird bald
chick I mean you know that girl has got
hair all over her
head well maybe it won't work out maybe
Ross won't like her personality why does
she have a bad personality oh no
Bonnie's the
[Applause]
best so Ross how um how did it go with
Bonnie oh I got to tell you I I wasn't
expecting to like her at all I mean I
actually wasn't expecting to like anyone
right now but she's really terrific oh
it's too
bad no I I'm saying I liked her yeah you
know what there are other fish in the
sea theves I think she's great okay
we're going out again okay I hear you
are you capable of talking about
anything
else okay would you rather live in the
shirt pocket of a sweaty giant or inside
his shower
drain oh my God Phoebe look at Ross in
that
girl big no no look at that it's a line
of ants they're working as a team
baby right oh yeah wow oh it looks like
Ross is breaking up with her o I hope he
lets her down easy let's go come on baby
look at that they're not breaking up
look at them okay that you know what
that is that is that is a second date
that's what that is look at that she
just put her hand on his thigh oh no
that really is nothing she's very
sexually
aggressive baby this is all your fault
now he loves her he's going to marry her
and this is all your
fault you said it was okay you said she
was
bald was was was was was was okay what
babbe we can't we just can't let it
happen okay we have to do something but
we have to break them up okay you just
go in there and like shave her head you
me one bold
girl okay first of all
breathe second of all I don't get it
aren't you the one that decided you
didn't want to be with
Ross yes well isn't he your friend don't
you want him to be
happy
yes
so I just you I didn't expect him to be
this happy so
soon
oh oh no what oh we killed them
all oh who what yeah I know what I want
to ask you um can you roll your
tongue cuz cuz I can and my mom couldn't
and I thought you know I figured that
was something that I got from our dad
well wait you mean like
this yeah yeah you can do it too
yeah you're not doing it oh right okay
yeah my mom could and I
can't so we don't have
that when's your birthday February 16th
I know a guy who's the 18th
that's
close when's yours October
25th that's the same month as
Halloween so um what kind of things do
you like to do at
home melt stuff
[Music]
okay so by melting you meant
melting yeah so is it like art yeah you
can melt
art hey can I use your
phone yeah sure what you want to call
your mom no I want to melt
it oh well um not right now
you know what I think I'm just going to
go to bed think the fumes are giving me
a headache so yeah
yeah night bro good
night
here just in
case oh
excellent um Chandler
this is Robert oh hey hey hi you have
lipstick right here oh that's okay it's
mine we just
kissed so isn't it a bit cold out for
shorts well I'm from California right
right sometimes you guys just burst into
flame I'm up I'm up I ain't gotten up
now anybody uh want anything I'll have
coffee yeah me too yeah make that three
Okay Ross why don't you come with
me
okay what what is the matter with you
what's going on Robert's coming
out what what do you mean what is he
gay
he he's coming out of his shorts
[Applause]
what the man is showing
brain are you sure hold
on I'm sorry guys that was a coffee and
a coffee okay we could write it down for
you no no that won't be uh won't be
[Applause]
necessary wow
yeah yeah
yeah what do we do what do we do I
suppose we just try to not look directly
at
it like an
eclipse no oh it's me it's me I I didn't
want to make any noise then don't break
in I'm sorry what are you doing here I I
can't to fill your ice cube
tray what
um okay okay
look I took this picture from your
fridge okay because I know that this is
my father yeah this is Frank bufet and
you were standing right there next to
him now look I deserve to know where I
came from all right so if you can help
me find my father then you should
otherwise you're just
mean so just tell me the truth all
right the man in that picture is Chuck
Manion my father is Chuck
Manion no no that's just Chuck Manion I
I sold him a house last year and I'm
very sorry but I really don't know where
your father is and that's the
truth
oh but um you're
right I think that a person should know
where they come
from which is why I
uh
uh
okay I'm your
mother
H you know I wanted to tell you
yesterday but I just you know I felt all
floopy
and sorry I uh I scared you in there oh
that's
okay by the way I was just checking the
shower massager
yeah hey tried to reach you at work
there's been a
fire what oh my oh my
God what happened well we believe it
originated
here in the aroma
room all right did everyone get that
okay well the draft's okay and so is the
pirate what is this no fa don't look you
don't want to see what's under
there the the Foster puppets
[Music]
get
you know Rachel funny thing actually uh
the endzone starts that pole so you're
5T short so we
[Applause]
win wait wait wait wait wait so explain
something to me though if if nobody
tagged Rachel then isn't the place still
going hey
I got you something open it
open
okay it's a
chicken it's cute huh whoa whoa whoa you
guys do you know anything about chicks
fowl no
women
no okay well they are a huge
responsibility especially at this age
they require constant care they they
need just the right food and lots and
lots of love oh well no problem
there easy
Lenny why isn't it
Spider-Man you know like Goldman
Silverman because it it's not his last
name it isn't no it's not like like Phil
Spiderman he's a spider
man you know like uh like Goldman is a
last name but there's no gold
man oh okay there should be a gold man
[Music]
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