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These people clearly don't know
what ten percent means.
What are you talking about?
This is the list
of all the people who belong
to the church
and how much money they donate.
Dorothy and Fred Nelson
gave a dollar last week.
So?
They own the Piggly Wiggly.
They can afford
to give much more.
Weird.
You say "Piggly Wiggly"
and suddenly I'm hungry.
Really?
You're drinking
in the morning now?
What? Oh, look at that.
Felt later.
Hey, I haven't seen the pastor.
He go home?
He hasn't come out
of Georgie's room.
Maybe he found
Georgie's magazines.
He's a man of God.
You're adorable.
(indistinct chatter)
I have stories.
Come back here.
It's my favorite table.
Oh, hey, Connie.
Hi, Felicia.
Chip me for a deuce.
How's your daughter doing?
Oh, surgery went great.
Thanks for asking.
Her daughter got
kicked by a horse.
They had to pin a
couple of bones together.
Oh, my.
She won't be stealing
any more horses
for a little while.
(laughs)
Your usual, Connie?
Yeah.
John, you want something?
I would like a Fresca, please.
Got it, hon.
MAN:
Connie.
Duke-North Carolina's
about to start. Want a piece?
Yeah, baby. Give me the
points on Duke for a nickel.
All right.
(laughing): A nickel.
That's a silly bet.
It's 50 bucks.
A thousand nickels.
Less silly.
I must say, uh...
this is a side of you
I've never... seen before.
You're all right with it,
aren't you?
Oh, sure.
When are you gonna
give that man your $50?
Don't worry
about it. Hit me.
I'm a little worried.
(coins jangling, people cheer)
Pastor Jeff?
Everything all right in there?
Oh, yeah.
I've just been praying,
napping, crying.
I like to mix it up.
Well, how's it going?
Good, actually.
I have this feeling inside
that I should head home.
Well, then you got to honor
that feeling, that's God.
You're right. You
want to come with?
Do you really want me there
while you patch things up
with your wife?
She's less likely to throw any
steak knives if we have company.
Um... if you think
it'll help, I suppose...
Great, let's hit it.
Oh...
Hello, is this
the Nelson residence?
Oh, good. I'm
Sheldon Cooper,
the executive
assistant secretary
at the First Baptist
Church of Medford.
I'm looking through
our donation records,
and I've noticed that
you've tapered off a bit.
Well, yes, your children's
education is expensive,
but so is running a church.
Oh, boy!
I'll be sure to tell
the pastor. Goodbye.
That earned a sip of Yoo-hoo.
Okay. Who's next?
Wendy and Bill Mackenzie.
Of Mackenzie Chevrolet?
Now those are what we call
"deep pockets."
Pat here, double the ten,
and split the aces.
Connie...
I found an old-fashioned
malt shop where we can
have milkshakes and
listen to the jukebox,
like I never did
in high school.
Yeah, great.
Not now, John.
Okay, well, I was just hoping
we could do something together.
For God's sake, John. I'm
getting my ass kicked here!
I'm sorry.
Oh, Felicia,
you're killing me.
(sighs)
Chip me another deuce.
(door opens)
Hello?
Selena?
Ooh. Big TV, fancy.
(reading in Spanish)
"Con amor, Selena."
Which means?
"Life is too short to be
married to a loser.
"I'm leaving you.
Love, Selena."
"Love, Selena"?
Well, that's kind
of a mixed message.
Yeah.
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