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Please choose the correct answer for each question below:
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Hey.
How's it going?
Good. Did you know that
Zoroaster believed in two gods?
-No, I did not.
-And the Taoists
don't believe in God at all.
They believe
in a principle of harmony.
How very nice for them.
Shelly, I understand
you enjoy researching things.
Love it.
But it's important
to keep in mind
that there is only
one true God.
That's called monotheism.
I have a book about it
if you're interested.
That's okay,
I have the book about it.
Would you be angry with me
if I don't pick your religion?
I could never
be angry with you.
You be a seeker
of your own truth.
Thanks, Mom.
And if the truth turns out
to be Satan,
I will do battle with him.
(insects chirping)
MALE VOICE:
Welcome, Sheldon.
FEMALE VOICE:
We've been waiting for you.
Are you the Ten Commandments?
No.
We are one.
And zero.
We are the binary code
that underlies
the universe.
The ten thing
is a common mistake.
I want to understand God.
Can you help me?
Did you not hear
what we just said?
It's a binary universe.
God is yes and no.
Left and right.
On and off.
Something and nothing.
Positive and negative.
Male and female.
Light and dark.
But why is there
evil and suffering?
Well, without evil
and suffering,
there is no good
and happiness.
Oh, sure. Binary.
Shall we give him the
final piece of information
that unlocks the secret
of the universe?
Why not?
At least one human being should
know the reason for everything.
Sheldon,
before the
universe began...
GEORGE JR.:
Hey, dummy.
You're drooling
all over your books.
Huh? No.
Zero was about to tell me
the secret and you ruined it.
ADULT SHELDON: I never heard
from One and Zero again.
Although, I was once visited
by Nine when I had chickenpox.
He was a lot less funny
than he thought he was.
PASTOR JEFF:
Okay, "What God means to me."
Who'd like to go first?
Billy.
I'd like to go third.
All righty.
Who's feeling brave?
Missy.
I'll go second.
Great. Does anybody
want to go first?
I'll go.
Okay. Come on up here,
Sheldon.
Let's hear what you got.
I've spent the last week
studying what people believe,
and I've come to a conclusion.
And what's that?
I'm starting my own religion.
I'm sorry, what?
I'm calling it Mathology.
It's based
on a universal binary system.
That's terrific, Sheldon, but
this is a Baptist Sunday school.
I know, I'm here
to convert everybody.
-Any takers?
-Okay.
PASTOR JEFF: Let's go have
a talk with your mom.
The only sin in Mathology
is being stupid.
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