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So,
>> I thought Joey and I would be okay once
we hung out, but it's like we don't even
know how to be with each other anymore.
>> I know it's tough now, but things will
get better.
>> How do you know that? What if it just
gets worse and worse and worse to the
point where we can't even be in the same
room with each other?
>> I'm not great at the advice.
Can I interest you in a sarcastic
comment?
some cheese.
>> Honey, why is the Bruce Springsteen CD
in the Cat Stevens case?
>> Let's just say if I can't find the right
CD case, I just put it in the nearest
one.
>> Okay. Well, where is the Cat Stevens CD?
>> In the James Taylor case.
>> Where's the James Taylor CD?
>> Honey, I'm going to save you some time.
200 CDs. Not one of them in the right
case.
>> Okay, no need to panic. Deep breaths,
everyone. And when you have a second
later, I want to show you why we don't
just trap spiders under coffee mugs and
leave them there.
>> I'm training to be better at a job that
I hate. My life officially sucks.
>> But Ra, wasn't it supposed to be a
temporary thing? I thought you wanted to
do fashion stuff.
>> Well, yeah. I'm still pursuing that.
>> How exactly are you pursuing that?
>> You know, other than sending out resumes
like uh what, two years ago?
Well, I'm also sending out
good thoughts.
>> If you ask me, as long as you got this
job, you got nothing pushing you to get
another one. You need the fear.
>> The fear.
>> He's right. If you quit this job, you
then have motivation to go after a job
you really want.
>> Well, then how come you're still at a
job that you hate? I mean, why don't you
quit and get the fear?
because I'm too afraid.
>> I don't know. I mean, I would give
anything to work for a designer, you
know, or a buyer.
>> I just don't want to be 30 and still
work here.
>> Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28
and still working here.
>> Rachel.
>> Yeah.
>> Remind me to review with you which pot
is decaf and which is regular.
>> Can't I just look at the handles on
them? You would think.
>> Okay, fine. Gunther, you know what? I am
a terrible waitress. Do you know why I
am a terrible waitress? Because I don't
care. I don't care. I don't care which
pot is regular and which pot is decaf. I
don't care where the tray spot is. I
just don't care. This is not what I want
to do.
So, I don't think I should do it
anymore.
>> I'm going to give you my week's notice.
>> What gone through? I quit.
Does this mean we're going to have to
start paying for coffee?
>> Hey, everybody, stop what you're doing.
I need envelope stuffers. I need stamp
liquors.
>> Well, hey, who did these resumes for
you?
>> Me on my computer.
>> Well, you sure used a large font.
>> Uh, yeah. Well, uh, waitress at a coffee
house and, uh, cheer squad co- captain
only took up so much room.
>> Hey, that's funny. You're funny,
Chandler. You're a funny guy. You know
what else is really funny?
Something else I might have said.
>> I don't know. I don't know. Weren't you
the guy that told me to quit my job when
I had absolutely nothing else to do?
>> Sweetie, calm down. It's going to be
okay.
>> No, it's not going to be okay, Ross.
Tomorrow is my last day and I don't have
a lead.
Okay, you know what? I'm just going to
I'm just going to call Gunther and I'm
going to tell him I'm not quitting.
>> Well, you you you don't want to give
into the fear. You and your stupid fear.
I hate your fear. I would like to take
you and your fear.
>> Hey, I got great news. Run, Joey. RUN
FOR YOUR LIFE.
>> HI. HEY. LISTEN, can we question? When
you and Monica first hooked up, was it
weird going from friends to more than
that?
>> Kind of. You know, sneaking around,
having to hide from you guys?
>> No, no, no, no. I mean sexually.
>> Yeah. Was there a part of you that that
felt like it was really wrong?
>> Actually, no. No, it felt right. You
know, it felt like uh I can't believe we
haven't been doing this the whole time.
I can tell from your expressions that's
the good news you were hoping for.
Well, I'm going to go continue to spread
the joy.
>> Mike thing was interesting. I don't I
don't know what's going to happen with
Phoebe and David.
>> I do. Want a hint? Huh?
I do.
>> I do.
>> Okay. I'm sensing this is some kind of
word play because you are pink with
barely controlled glee.
David's going to propose to Phoebe.
>> What?
Why?
>> Because we were talking about ways that
he could beat Mike and I told him that
Phoebe wanted to get married.
>> Chandler, we have talked about this. You
are not supposed to give people advice.
>> Now, could you have made some sort of
inappropriate joke?
>> I did a penis one.
Just so I know what was so wrong about
what I said.
>> They've only been going out for a few
weeks, Phoebe. is completely hung up on
Mike. She'll say no. David's heart will
be broken. It'll be too hard for them to
recover from. And then Phoebe will end
up alone again.
>> Man, that's some bad advice.
>> And the advances in coating in the past
5 years. I mean, we just got in an
X5000. You know, the X5000 makes an X50
look like a T71.
Hey, it's the dinosaur guy.
>> Hi, Ross.
>> Oh, hi Chloe.
>> I want you to meet some friends of mine.
This guy is my hero. He comes in with
some stuff. He wants it blown up 400%.
We said we don't do that. He says, "You
got to." And you know what? We did it.
And now anytime anybody wants 400, we
just say, "Let's russ it."
>> And that's the only color that comes in.
Yo, Chloe, do you have a quarter for the
condom machine?
>> So, what are you doing here? I thought
tonight was your big anniversary dinner.
>> Yeah, a little change of plans. Uh,
we're going to break up instead.
>> Hello.
>> Oh, hi. It's Mark.
>> Oh,
>> what is it? My breath?
>> No, sorry. I just thought you were
somebody else. Hi.
>> Hi. Well, look, I was just going to
leave a message. Isn't tonight your your
big anniversary dinner?
>> Well, well, um,
>> Ra, are you okay?
>> Yeah, I'm fine.
>> You want to talk? I mean, I can come
over.
>> No, really. No, please. That's That's
okay.
>> All right. All right. I'm coming over
and I'm bringing Chinese food.
>> Oh, yeah. I'm not I'm not hungry.
>> It's for me.
>> Oh,
okay. Bye.
So, what are you going to do?
>> What can I do? One person wants to break
up, you break up. Hey,
>> no way. Come on. This is you guys. Call
her and work it out.
>> Come on. We just had this huge fight.
All right. Don't I have to wait a while?
>> Hey, this isn't like swimming after you
eat.
>> Pick up your phone.
>> The whole swimming thing is a myth.
>> Yeah, tell that to my uncle Lenny.
>> Why? What happened to him?
nothing. He just really believes in
that.
>> And then we got into this big stupid
fight. I just it was awful. I told him
treats me like a park ranger or
something. Oh,
and then
I told him I wanted to take a break. I
don't want to take a break.
>> Oh, I'm sorry.
Egg roll.
>> No.
And then I called him and he wasn't
there.
>> Well, he's he's probably just out.
>> Oh, thank you. That's very helpful. I'm
glad you came over.
>> Hello.
>> Hi, it's me.
>> Hi. Oh, I'm so glad you called.
>> Really?
>> I've been thinking this is crazy. I
mean, don't don't you think we can work
on this?
>> Hey, what do you want to drink?
>> Who's that?
>> Nobody.
Is it okay if I finish the apple juice?
>> Is that Mark?
>> Oh, honey, look. He just came over.
>> Yeah, got it.
>> Hey, dinosaur guy. Look at you so sad.
Come dance.
>> Oh, that's okay. Thanks.
>> Hey,
you don't have to smile. Just have to
dance. Look,
>> I don't feel like dancing. I feel like
having a drink. Okay. Oh, okay. Hey, two
beers. Wait for me.
>> It was a mistake. I made a mistake.
Okay.
>> A mistake? What were you trying to put
it in her purse?
>> Where? Where did he put it?
>> Rosa, you had sex with another woman.
>> Oh my god.
>> Oh god. I knew something had to be wrong
because my fingernails did not grow at
all yesterday.
>> Yeah. Well, I guess they had a fight and
he got drunk.
>> You guys knew about this and you didn't
tell us.
>> He has sex and we get hit in our heads.
>> You know what? I want you to leave. Get
out of here. Just get out.
>> No, I know. I want to stay. I want to
talk about this.
>> Okay. All right. How was she?
>> Uh-oh.
>> What
>> was she good?
>> Don't answer that.
>> I know. She said you wanted to talk
about it. Let's talk about it. How was
she?
>> She was awful.
>> She was not good. Not good.
>> Nothing compared to you.
>> She She was different. Oh.
>> Uhoh.
>> Good. Different.
>> Nobody likes change.
>> Should we do something?
>> Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel.
I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. I I was
disgusted with myself and then this
morning I was so I was I was so upset
and then I got your message and I was so
happy and all I wanted was to get her
out of my apartment as FAST AS POSSIBLE.
>> WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. Wait a minute.
>> What time did your little friend leave?
>> Oh my god. She was there.
>> She was still there. She was in there
WHEN I WAS IN THERE.
OH, just
>> listen. Oh, hey. Hey, the important
thing is she meant she meant nothing to
me.
>> And yet SHE WAS WORTH JEOPARDIZING OUR
RELATIONSHIP.
>> LOOK, I didn't think there was a
relationship to jeopardize. I thought we
were broken up.
>> We were on a break.
>> That for all I knew could last forever.
That to me is a break up.
>> You think you're going to get out of
this on a technicality?
>> I'm not trying to get out of anything.
Okay. I thought our relationship was
dead.
>> Well, you sure had a hell of a time at
the wake.
>> You know what? I don't think we should
listen to this anymore.
>> What are you doing? I can't go out
there.
>> Why not? I'm hungry.
>> Because they'll know we've been
listening. God. And have to hear about
it from Gunther.
>> Come on. Like I wanted him to tell you,
I ran all over the place trying to make
sure that didn't happen.
Oh, that is so sweet.
>> I think I'm falling in love with you all
over again.
>> You know what? I think we can go out
there. I mean, they have more important
things to worry about.
>> Yeah, we'll be fine.
>> Look, Rachel, I wanted to tell you. I
thought I should. I I did. And then
Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
>> Wax the door shut. We're never leaving.
What do we do?
>> What do you mean what do we do?
>> Twins.
Twins.
>> Taylor, you're panicking.
>> Uh-huh. Join me, won't you?
>> Okay. What do you say we keep one and
then just like have an option on the
other one?
>> We can't split them up.
>> Why not? We could give each of them half
a medallion and then years later they'll
find each other
and be reunited.
I mean, that's a great day for
everybody.
>> Okay. What if the person who adopts the
other one is horrible?
>> What if they're not? What if it's
adopted by a king?
>> Yeah, because I hear the king is looking
to adopt.
>> Michael, we are not ready to have two
babies.
>> That doesn't matter. We have waited so
long for this. I don't care if it's two
babies. I don't care if it's three
babies. I don't care if the entire cast
of eight is enough comes out of there.
All right, let's uh let's start with the
cons cuz they're more fun. Rachel first.
>> I don't know. I mean All right. I guess
you can say she's she's a little spoiled
sometimes.
>> You could say that.
>> I guess you know sometimes she's she's a
little ditzy, you know, and I' I've seen
her be a little too into her looks. But
oh, and like Julie and I, we have a lot
in common cuz we're both
paleontologists, right? But I mean,
Rachel's just a waitress.
>> Waitress.
Got it. You guys want to play Doom?
Or we can keep doing this.
What else?
I don't know.
Oh, her ankles are a little chubby.
>> Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with
her?
>> She's not Rachel.
>> Well, uh,
>> he broke up with Julie.
Well, go hug her for God's sakes.
>> Really?
>> Really?
It's always been you, Ra.
>> Oh, God.
Oh.
>> Oh, this is good. This is really good.
>> I know. I know. It's It's almost
>> What do you say we go take a walk? Just
us, not them.
>> Let me get my coat.
>> Okay. No. Hey. Whoa. Whoa. I'll get your
coat.
Okay.
He's going to get my coat.
>> He's going to get my coat. Oh my god.
You can't believe this is unbelievable.
>> What's that?
>> What? Nothing.
>> What is that? It's not my name. What is
it?
>> No. No. See? See? Hey, it's printing.
Hey, it's printing.
>> What is it? Let me see.
>> Hey, someone order a Coke.
>> Ros Chandler wrote something about me on
his computer and he won't let me see.
>> He won't. He won't. He
>> Because Isn't that Isn't that the the
the short story you were writing?
>> Yes. Yes, it is the short story that I
was writing
>> in a minute. Let me read it.
>> No.
>> Come on.
>> Hey, uh why don't you read it to her?
All right.
It was summer
and it was hot.
Rachel was there.
A lonely gray couch.
Oh, look. Cried Ned.
And then the kingdom was his forever.
The end.
That's it. That's all you wrote. You're
the worst WRITER IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
>> ALL RIGHT. All right. You know what?
This isn't funny anymore. There's
something about me on that piece of
paper, and I want to see it.
>> No, you don't.
You know what? Fine. If you guys want to
be children about this, that's fine. I
do not need TO
GO.
>> What is this?
>> That is something that's
>> Ross. What is this?
>> Thank you. Well, good luck.
>> Okay, just just remember how crazy I am
about you. Okay. kind of ditsy,
too into her looks,
>> spoiled.
>> Now that's a little spoiled. He was
supposed to type little, the idiot.
>> Just a waitress.
>> Now that that was uh I mean, as opposed
to uh the um Okay. Is is this over yet?
Ra,
>> I do not have chubby ankles.
>> No, I No, wait. Okay. Okay. Hey, look at
the other side. Look at Julie's column.
>> She's not Rach.
>> What the hell's a Rachel? No.
>> That's some stupid paleontology word
that I wouldn't know because I'm just a
waitress.
>> Ra, come on. Ra. Ra. No, no, no. It's
It's She's not Rachel. She's She's not
Rachel.
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