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I'm the Angelina Jolie of incredibly hot
guys
this is a joke right you don't actually
volunteer here Barney we need you up
front there is a log Jam on the stuffing
line can you show them how it's done I'm
on it wait so this is real Barney does
this every Sunday all year long he's our
best volunteer because I was trained by
the best candle
uh go home we're full what we're
volunteers we're unpaid help can you
ever really have enough unpaid help on
the biggest volunteer day of the year
yeah you can come on we just want to
help
they're cool
fine but I'm not promising anything wait
here we'll let you know if we need you
okay well I better get back out there
there's a lot of food to give out
and a lot of smiles
man it's amazing out there I've done so
much good today I've got like a soul
boner
and the way the faces of the less
fortunate light up when you give them a
hot nutritious meal is there a better
feeling on Earth yesterday you saw the
best feeling on Earth was getting your
toes sucked then you requested a high
five with your foot
hey Barn what do you say you uh let us
Sub in for you scoop stop you for a
little bit you want to scoop stuffing
your first day out hello NFL can I be
quarterback this Sunday
when are you gonna start thinking about
having a baby
baby uh you know I I hadn't really
thought about it at all
actually Aunt Lily was lying it was all
she'd been thinking about you see
remember when she said well I just
ralphed
at that point she was five days late
this was day six
beautiful 15 pound boy that much bigger
than this turkey right here
hey man what's this box for oh that's
for me you can put it in my car
in your car um then you'll take it home
yeah we get so much extra food no one
can eat it all
oh truffle oil score
people donated this food thinking it was
going to feed the hungry I know and I'm
starving
surprisingly good right I Told You So
public urination who gets arrested for
public urination
Lily's been arrested oh dear what for
public urination
[Applause]
are you listening
you're a good guy want to know why I
have to work tomorrow my firm's
designing an executive Lounge for a
tobacco company in the fight against
cancer I'm on the side of cancer okay
Ted I found a way for you to help
someone to do some good this is Walter
Walter is homeless and Walter would like
a lap dance
are you joking I never joke about the
sublime art of burlesque entertainment
no Barney that's insane sir would you
like me to buy you a ticket to the
buffet
no I'm stuck just a lap dance would be
fine
Ted Walter's been to three shelter
dinners you know where he hasn't been to
heaven with Samantha
look it's the one chance you've had all
day to help someone in need now buy this
man a lap dance
you said you wanted to see the look of
joy in someone's eyes
you know I don't think I'm gonna watch
here you go Walter
Happy Thanksgiving
thank you so much not really thank you
Happy Thanksgiving guys
[Music]
Thanksgiving in November
[Music]
hey I saw what you did for that guy it
was really sweet
do you want to dance
uh no thanks
you want some yams no thanks
I'm Amber I'm Ted
actually I'm Tracy
still Ted and that kids is the true
story of How I Met Your Mother
what I'm kidding
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