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Police.
>> Hello.
>> Hello.
>> What's your name?
>> My name.
>> Can you spell that, please?
>> M L
E T.
Clay.
>> Did you say clay?
>> Yes. The clay is silent.
>> All right. Got it.
>> Show me your waddle.
>> Mhm. Mhm.
Yeah. Yeah.
>> Nice. Doug,
>> you're not going to call me Doug.
>> Yeah, well, you called me Jake earlier.
I thought we were switching the first
names the same exact thing. I was LIKE,
I WANT TO CALL HIM JAKE.
>> I THINK IT'S KIND of simply stiff,
[laughter]
>> but it's chill now. [clears throat]
>> So, Doug.
>> Yes, Jake.
>> I'm just trying to work up the nerve to
see her. See who?
>> My female wife, Crystal. I was cheating
on her with a waitress from Wing
named Jaime Lynn. One night when I was
philandering, Crystal caught me kissing
Jaime Lynn's
heavy breasts. She flew into a rage and
now she's serving 5 years for aggravated
assault.
>> Hey, I'm sorry to hear that.
>> Yeah, thanks, man. Hey, bring it in.
>> Now, the recorder is generally thought
of as a training instrument for
children, but listen to it. In the hands
of an expert like Yoram Lefroom,
>> the passion is
breathtaking.
>> Well, we've already searched the entire
apartment.
>> Yeah, well, now we're going to search it
and find things you all missed like
this.
>> Your own keys?
>> Damn straight. Bag them, Diaz.
>> Hey, we would like to buy some bagels.
>> And where is the sex of the city street?
We want to see where Carrie and Big
live. I'm a carry. I think I'm a carry.
>> We're both carries.
>> Why are you sliding into my side of the
booth?
>> Because that side is the solo side. You
always put the person you want to catch
up with on the solo side. Otherwise, one
of us will spend the whole night
straining our necks looking sideways.
>> I'm straining my neck talking to you
right now.
>> Okay, so don't look at me, Terry. Just
face forward. You see me every day.
>> Fine.
>> Fine. You know, reminds me of a very
interesting article I read about human
trafficking in The New Yorker. No, it
doesn't.
>> Oh, the one written by David Remnick. I
love that piece from four weeks ago. Or
was it three weeks? No, four.
>> What happened with Gary?
>> He gave me the hard cell. Look at all
this swag. I got a puffy vest,
carabiner.
>> Terry, carabiners suck. You want free
stuff? There you go. All right, you can
have anything you want from my desk.
>> Gary made me an offer.
>> Hello? Is there anyone here?
Malipnos.
>> No. What?
>> Yeah. You played violin at my wedding.
You're Bipnos.
>> No. My name is Jerry. Jerry Barfistan.
>> What? Well, it doesn't [clears throat]
matter. I need your help. Can you please
hand me the keys that are down there?
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Thank you. I love keys.
Oh, and this is for you.
>> What?
>> As they say in my country, a chicky for
a key,
>> right? And what country is that again?
>> Honolulu.
>> Okay. You know, if it's all the same,
I'd really just rather have the key.
>> You know what? Cheeky. I don't want key.
>> Oh, perfect.
>> Yes. Thank you, Malifnos.
>> No, it's Jerry Arank Latan.
>> Feel like maybe you said it a little
different the first time. You think you
can intimidate me?
>> Yeah.
>> When I was undercover, Jimmy the Butcher
cut off my little toe with garden shears
and made me eat it as a loyalty test.
I've been through hell.
>> Big deal. I worked at a sunglass kiosk
at the mall for four years. So, not only
have I been through hell, I was
assistant manager there.
>> You're gonna get out of Chucky's house.
And what's more, you're going to pay him
rent for the night you spent there.
>> Fine.
>> One more thing, babe. You're going to
thank us both right now.
>> Thank you.
>> You're welcome.
>> Thank you. You're welcome.
That was amazing.
>> Told you he just needed to be alpha.
>> Is that what happened or did I just beta
you into protecting me?
>> No.
No, it's not what happened. This is not
your victory.
>> Sure.
>> Oh my god. Go where?
>> What's on your face?
>> Huh? Oh, right. Uh, yes. My disgusting
deformity. Um, here. Majesty.
>> Hey, what's up, girl? Better?
>> It's not worse.
>> Is this sauce for your chicken or my
lamb?
>> H I don't know.
>> Should we try it?
>> Let's risk it.
>> Go.
>> It's amazing.
>> I don't care for it,
>> but I tried.
>> And what a story for Kevin.
>> So, Maxwell, what was your childhood
like? I was a lookout at 8, had my own
corner at 10, trigger [music] man at 13.
You know what it's like to look a man in
his eyes? That's a life drains out of a
bad from a young age. At school, I
pushed people. And this wasn't horse
play. This was
pushing a [music] hurt.
>> New idea. We're going to get inside the
mind of the killer. We eat the veggie
wraps.
Here we go.
>> Oh, this bastard. Oh,
[panting and sighs] man. This is one
twisted mother. Oh, the beach are rock.
This guy is demented, Rosa.
>> These your glasses.
>> Mhm.
>> They're gigantic.
>> My contacts dried out thanks to you. And
they're cool.
>> No, they're not. Wow, you are blind.
Blind.
>> Yeah,
>> you're a blind cop. How's there not been
a made for TV movie about your
struggles?
>> Give this back.
>> This place has six chimneys.
>> Uh, hey Debbie, whose house is this?
>> Oh, it's mine. I own it. Um, until 11:00
a.m. on Monday. We have to be out by
then or it's another $45,000 uh dollars
to Airbnb. But until then, I'm a mansion
girl.
>> What happened to using the money for
your father's surgery? Was it a lie?
>> No, my dad really is sick. But I found
out this morning that my stupid brother
Derek already paid for his surgery. He
thinks he's so great cuz he's like a big
shot lawyer and he has a family and he's
not afraid of ghosts. Well, guess what?
I get to keep the cash now. So, take
that Derek and, you know, put it. She's
a mansion girl. She's so rich and she's
hot. She's a mansion girl with a
high
>> and all I have to do to get Katie's
number is beat Amy. That's nothing.
>> Hey, don't you dare touch Amy Jr.?
That's right. It's your baby.
>> Are you saying I knocked you up?
>> You sure did.
>> Jake, [laughter]
>> look. I don't know who they sent, but
he's on boat. Check out this manifest.
Somebody boarded in San Juan named Henry
Kohl's. Henry Street and Cole Street.
That's the corner of your old chop shop
in Brooklyn. This is an alias.
>> Mhm. And my porter buddy checked out
Henry Cole's cabin. He hasn't been in it
yet. He's hiding somewhere on his boat,
ready to jump out and kill me at any
moment. Probably creeping around in my
closet
>> or stowed away in a lifeboat
>> or hide in the wall or holed up in the
engine room.
>> Camouflage in the shrubbery predator
style. Nope. We are not having fun. You
will not suck me in with your wy charms.
>> Stake me out tonight. I don't want to
let you go to it.
>> Wow. That sleep apnea mask is something
else, huh?
>> I got to say, ever since I got her
>> her,
>> she touches my lips, Jake. She's a her.
>> We're not fighting. We can totally work
together. We're fine.
>> Yeah, that wasn't a fight. That was just
sexy workplace banter.
>> Exactly. I mean, mattresses are also
sexy cuz that's where you do it.
>> Yeah. And grammar is a system of
language involving syntax and semantics.
Also sexy.
>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Point is, we're
good.
>> Yeah.
>> Miss me? Miss me? Now you got to kiss
[music] me. Talking to you,
>> Jay. What are you doing here? It's only
been 4 days. You're supposed to take a
full week off of work.
>> Come on, Sarge. Does it look like I'm on
the job?
>> Okay, then. What are you doing here?
>> Taking your advice to rest and relax to
the next level. Swinging by to pick up
Charles and then we're headed to sunny,
beachy, only recently devastated by
financial crisis. Atlantic City.
>> That's right, suckers. Jake and I are
going on the coolest vacation ever.
Official trip nickname AC/DC. Atlantic
City Dudes Club.
>> Yeah, that's going to change. But check
it out, Sarge. Boil and I are staying at
>> the Raven.
Damn,
this place is locked.
>> Yeah, I've been trying to get Jake down
there forever. And I know all it take is
a few broken bones. I would have hit him
with a baseball bat years ago. Sarge,
it's a spa and a casino. A spacino. One
of the room service options is a carving
station. Talking prime rib in bed. And
what's this? I'm using a blanket as a
napkin. That's fancy. That's fancy.
>> Real fancy.
>> Okay, here's the plan. I'll drop the
bomb during charades. I'll just tell
them I know about Sheila with my body.
>> Um,
fast uh fast and furious. Magic Mike.
>> I don't know. Uh, crying game. [music] I
don't know.
>> Time
Wait, we still have time. Maybe there's
a way to get Kyle back in with his
family. Like, what if Jake's wheels are
turning? Your brain baby is crowning.
>> Boil, please. That's disgusting.
>> No, it's helping. I am having a brain
baby.
>> Then push, man. Push.
>> Breathe. Oh,
>> you can do this. You are so strong.
>> Got it. Kyle's uncle cut him off because
of that stolen car, right? But what if
we could find that car and have Kyle
give it back to him? Then all is
forgiven. Kyle's back in the family,
right? But how do we find that car?
>> We just did a big sweep of Brooklyn chop
shops. Maybe Sheamus's car is one of
them. Maybe it's in the inbound lock.
>> YES.
>> OKAY. Put in my password.
>> For the first time all week, it's just
the two of us.
>> I'm right here. I escaped using some of
the lube Bole sent you. It got
everywhere. I had to change.
>> Yeah. And your new shirt is very
aggressive and confusing. Is the
pineapple the or is it calling
someone else a
>> Clearly the pineapple is the
>> Oh, Amy, what is that enchanting new
perfume? It's syrup, Skully.
>> And it is working.
>> Hello, Captain. It's so good to see you.
So, so good.
>> What's with the bizarre eye contact and
the weird way you're talking, Santiago?
Did you join a cult?
>> What? No.
>> Are you sure? Most cult members don't
realize they're part of a cult.
>> I'm not in a cult.
>> Oh god, I'm going to throw up into your
cut. I saw inside of you. How are humans
alive?
>> Okay, I'll do the surgery. And uh you
just breathe. Okay, we'll get you
through this.
>> Okay.
>> What was that sound? I did not like that
squish sound.
>> The pipe has been removed. Now
I'm sewing myself up.
>> Okay, this is almost over. You're doing
great. Just keep talking. Keep talking.
>> Talking about what?
>> Uh tell me about Amy. You must be
excited to see her.
>> Very much. You know, oh god, what if it
doesn't go well? We haven't seen each
other in a while.
What if it's weird?
>> Keep going. Keep [clears throat] going.
You're doing so well. Why would it be
weird?
>> I I don't know. I mean, maybe we've
grown apart. Maybe she'll be repulsed by
my frosted tips. I was going to defrost
them before I saw her for the first
time.
>> I'm sure it will be magical when you see
her. And guess what?
>> What?
>> I'm done.
>> I need the money back and I need it back
now.
>> A jeez. I'm sorry I can't do that. I
placed the bet online. It's not like I
can cancel it.
>> You just placed the bet online?
>> Yeah, he could have done it himself.
It's really easy. I kept telling him
there's no need for bookies anymore.
>> No, no, no. I don't mess with computers,
okay? Ever since I died of dysentery on
the Oregon Trail, I was like, "No thank
you. I'm done with this."
>> Okay, look, the money's already in the
Caribbean. There's nothing I can do.
>> Looks like we're going to the Caribbean.
>> You do know we're not going to the
Caribbean, right?
>> I didn't know that. That is a bummer.
>> Gina Lanetti spaghetti confetti.
>> Gina Lanetti spaghetti confetti.
>> Faster.
>> Gina Lanetti spaghetti confetti. Mama,
this is my girlfriend, Rosa.
And this is my personal assistant,
Mangie Carl.
>> Ah, it's nice to meet you. You could
just call me Carl.
>> Mangie Carl used to be a homeless
gentleman. I work with a charity that
finds jobs for down on the luck white
people.
>> He's just a big old angel. He's been so
good to the whites. [laughter]
>> Yes, he is.
>> Yeah.
Can I guess what he paints? Pictures of
pie charts. Multiple still lives of this
gray rock.
>> It's even more boring. So, Gerald, did
anything happened to Raymond last week?
Did he seem like something or someone
had him in a bad mood?
>> It was his day to pick the music and he
chose hiding.
>> So, he was in a good mood or a bad mood?
>> A great mood. Jake.
>> Oh, you're Jake.
>> Damn it. What are you doing after this,
Gerald?
>> Figus's men are everywhere. And now
there's hospital security at all the
exits. How are we going to escape?
>> Relax. There's a million ways to get out
of a hospital unnoticed.
>> Name one.
>> Dress up like babies.
>> What? Will you put me on THE SPOT?
>> YOU WANT IT UP?
>> ALL RIGHT. WAIT, WAIT.
>> Attention boys and ghouls.
>> Nope.
>> Every Halloween I dress up in an amazing
costume and you never get what I am.
>> No, we get what you are. An adult man
who enjoys dress up.
>> Very funny, Rosa. This year that won't
be a problem because you're going to
pick my costume.
>> Ah, come on.
Uh, Ms. Pac-Man's nipple.
>> No, that's brown.
>> Why would you know that?
>> To be or not to be.
>> Not to be.
>> Thank you.
[screaming]
>> Jonavar, Rod Stewart, Martha Stewart,
>> He-Man, Master of the Universe.
>> I got it. Gay Robin Hood.
>> Yes.
>> Oh my gosh. That's what it is.
>> What's up? I need my laptop. I want to
practice my speech with the new colors
beforehand so I'm not alarmed when they
pop up.
>> Right. Right. Um, I know that Terry
definitely did do that work, so I'll
just go grab him. Uh, you wait here. You
can't come in because
Amy's naked and she's embarrassed of her
weird body.
>> Whereas with the skillet, the approach
to fish skin is completely different.
[music]
>> Mhm.
>> And your pasta technique is completely
intuitive.
>> Please tell me more.
>> How about those quarterly write offs?
And did you hear about the merger? Also,
we all need to go in on those flowers
for Beth. Oh, Wednesdays.
>> Who are you again?
>> Gina from sales. I have the plant on my
desk.
>> Oh, yeah. You want to sit with us?
>> Well, I'll be dead so soon.
>> What?
>> I would love to sit.
>> Guess what I'm holding behind my back.
>> Before we begin, what are the parameters
of the guessing game? How many guesses
do I get? Is there a time limit?
>> Forget it. You ruin everything. It's the
police code and ethics manual. Chapter
4, page 83. You should not have told me.
I never would have guessed it. Now I
won.
>> Sorry. Were we being too loud?
>> We
>> Oh, hey. I'm William.
>> I thought you just wanted a picture.
>> Oh, we took a lot of pictures.
>> Yeah.
>> Get in here.
>> Oh, no. He's my brother.
>> That doesn't bother me.
>> Okay, I'm going to bed. Well, let's not
give up all hope just yet. We do know
some things. For example, the perp
entered using a key, which means they
probably work here. And they knew enough
to skip past all these expensive looking
artifacts. They walked straight up to
this shelf and grabbed the coin case
from up there.
>> It's too high. You can't reach it.
Exactly. So, now we know that the thief
was taller than me. That's a good lead.
Also, we know they were a little bit of
a freak since I am above average height
according to the 1940 census.
>> I didn't realize you had a thing about
your height.
>> I don't because I'm above average. Why
would I have a thing about my height
when I'm above average? It doesn't make
any sense. [laughter]
>> Why did the drug dealer never do his
dishes? Because he had drugs in his
dishwasher.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> Dishwasher.
>> Hit me. It's for you. Hello.
>> Hey, what's up, dude? It's me. We got
the drugs, man. Hang on. Charles wants
to say hi.
>> Do you have any milk? I should have
known Mora wouldn't be able to control
herself. Strong women, they're just
drawn to me. You know, they're all right
angles and I'm nothing but curves.
>> Gina, big news. Terry's friend got back
to us and he says they're doing security
for Bayside High's number one wrestler,
AC Slater. That's right, Mario Lopez.
>> Oh my god, I had such a big crush on
him.
>> Yeah, we all had a big crush on AC
Slater. Get in line. [laughter]
I'll be cooler when we meet him. I
should hope so.
>> You brought your own shuffle board
stick.
>> Mhm.
>> They're called tangs. You should be glad
she has own. Don't want to mess with
another man's tang.
>> There's no way they're called tangs.
>> It's true. They are. And the discs are
called biscuits.
>> Tangs and biscuits. That is so dumb. I
officially love shuffle board.
>> Clear a path. I'm about to whip my
biscuit.
>> Boil's not in the interrogation room.
>> He couldn't have gotten far. He can't
see. You can go a long way on muscle
memory alone. One time I sleepwalked to
the Eminem store in Time Square.
>> Okay. Your smoke plan was a disaster.
>> Yeah, because your dog ate the gems
[music]
>> because you tripped and dropped them.
>> Yeah, because someone put a chair in my
way that wasn't supposed to be there.
>> I'm sorry. Are you accusing me of
something?
>> Was that not clear? Do you need me to
say it in Latin? I think you sabotage
me.
>> I would never. I want to win, which is
why I'm initiating Operation Fabius.
>> Okay, that does sound kind of cool.
>> Probably shouldn't. I may have to change
the name. Roman dictator Fabius Maximus
defeated Hannibal by avoiding battle and
exercising patience.
>> I can be patient. I just listened to you
talk about that Fabius guy for like 4
hours.
>> It was two sentences.
>> Oh, shut up.
>> Therapists are always having affairs
with their patients.
>> That's not true.
>> Oh, really? Tell that to the 10 minutes
of Bikini Shrink I watched on Cinemax
when I was 13. Dr. Jugs was insatiable.
>> James was ill. We have months of notes
saying he was increasingly unstable.
First of all, people with mental illness
are much more likely to be the victims
than the perpetrators. I heard that on
NPR when I was in the room while Amy was
listening to NPR. And second, I bet Dr.
Tate's notes are fake. I mean, you know
what was in Dr. Jug's notes?
>> What? Stick figures doing it.
>> What does that prove?
>> I don't know, but it was hot.
>> Whoever finds him wins.
>> Yeah, I guess you could say he's the
golden snitch.
>> Wait, was that a Harry Potter reference?
>> It most definitely was. I started
reading them cuz you love them so much.
>> And
>> you were right. They're incredible.
Remember when I called in sick the other
day? I was at home reading Order of the
Phoenix.
>> This makes me so happy. How sad is it
when Cedric dies?
>> I was crushed. Literally crying on the
toilet.
>> Guys, the fugitive. The bet,
>> right? I'm going to catch this last
fugitive, win the bet, and then we're
going to live together for the rest of
our relationship. Just you and me and
Towel makes three.
>> Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Just
so you know, at the end of the six
books, Snape,
>> no spoilers, Terry, let's go. Why are
there so many reporters? Even the Times
is here. Wait, really? Who'd they send?
>> Wilson, Palmer, Schneider, Lavine,
Rogers, Tyler, Baker, Corell, Brown,
Witch, Robin Schmidt.
>> Stop saying reporter's names. How do you
know so many names?
>> They're the only real rock stars we have
left. Look at what the greater wrote on
his essay. Thank you for writing this.
Reading it made me a better man. I'll
never be as good a leader as Hope.
>> You need to stop focusing on tests.
There's more to life than scores and
book learning. Okay, look at me. I've
had no official dance training. Yet here
I stand.
>> A miracle of movement.
>> Holt thinks Dilman's the best detective
he's ever worked with. So what happens
if I solve the case before him, and I
become the best detective Holt has ever
worked with, and he has to give me the
task force. Dilman thinks he knows
everything about me as a person. But
there's one thing he doesn't know. I'm
about to take him down. Oh my god, he's
staring right at us. Quick, pretend like
I was saying something else.
>> Yes, Jake. You were young when you lost
your virginity.
>> Thank you, Charles.
>> What are you doing? talking to Cassie
and the writers who BT Dubs all have
alibis. Also, Gary said that the studio
approved us as producers. I'm having my
agent look over the paperwork. Okay,
fine. I don't have an agent. I'm using
my parents divorce attorney. He's my
uncle. He was disbarred.
>> Well, while you were off in fantasy
land, I solved the case.
>> Wait a minute, Rosa.
[music]
>> [music]
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