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Jonathan: This is a guidebook for warm, affirming child rearing.

I'm watching this and I'm just reminded of the type of parent that I want to be,

Alan: Just that moment of the dad connecting with his kids

in a way that they understand. You know, they're going to take that with them

for the rest of their lives.

This moment of my dad acknowledging my feelings and helping me to, like, understand them.

Jonathan: Yeah, it's beautiful. Let's have fun! Alan: No!

Jonathan: Yes! Alan: I hate fun.

Jonathan: Ha ha ha ha

Alan: Ha ha ha ha ha.

This episode of Cinema Therapy is sponsored by Storyblocks.

Stay tuned to figure out how you can make better videos and support diverse creators with Storyblocks.

Welcome to Cinema Therapy!

I am Alan Seawright, professional filmmaker and I need therapy.

Jonathan: And I'm Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist who loves movies. And today...

What are we doing?

Alan: Well, I'm going to have you react to the most delightful film

that has ever been put on celluloid.

Jonathan: Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

Alan: No, that's the second most.

Pee Wee: Haaa! Heee hee

Alan: It's My Neighbor Totoro.

Look, we're Americans, so if we slip into TOtoro, I apologize.

Also, I have to address the elephant in the room.

We are going to be watching dubs, not subs today.

Right Said Kelly: I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you.

Alan: There's a reason, though.

Jonathan: Why would we do that? [Why, Alan?]

Alan: It's clearly wrong. However, this is such a delightful film to watch with children.

Did you watch it with your kids?

Jonathan: I watched it with my kids, and they loved it

Alan: I watched it with my kids and they love it.

And my 6 year old daughter can read, but, like, having her read subtitles,

it just wouldn't work. So, the correct way to watch films in another language is with subs not dubs,

because then you get the original actor's performance. However, because it's animated

and because we watched it with our kids, we're doing dubs, not subs today.

Please don't @ us in the comments. We know we did it wrong.

We're going to do better on the rest of our anime stuff that we do later in the year.

Jonathan: And even though it's not a holiday movie,

a lot of people watch it around the holidays just because it's so..

Alan: It feels like Christmas. It's like wrapping up in a blanket.

Jonathan: Yeah, there's just a lot of love and goodness here.

Yasuko: So how do you like it in the country? Have you settled in?

Satsuki: Yeah.

Yasuko: Hmmm?

Jonathan: Elle and Dakota Fanning voice the sisters

Yasuko: A haunted house? Satsuki: Mm hmm.

Mei: Mommy, do you like haunted houses?

Yasuko: Of course, I'll have to get better soon so I can meet some ghosts.

Satsuki: See that? [...]

Alan: They're just great. They're just like, Yay, ghosts.

Satsuki: [...] wanna come home if the house was haunted

Yasuko: Do you two like it?

Satsuki: Yeah!

Mei: I'm not scared at all.

Yasuko: Oh, what cute hair! Did you do this Satsuki?

Satsuki: Mm hmm.

Yasuko: It's very nice. What a lucky girl you are.

Mei: Yeah, she yells at me a lot.

Satsuki: That's [...]

Jonathan: That is... my kids. One thing I see a lot in this film,

and we'll come back to this, but the thing that struck me most is

this is a guidebook for warm, affirming child rearing. Alan: Absolutely

Jonathan: Whether you're a parent or a teacher or an aunt or an uncle

or somebody who has kids in your lives. Kids often say ridiculous stuff. Alan: Oh, sure.

Jonathan: And they feel really intense emotions about things that we as adults are like,

It's not that big a deal.

Mei: Back off! Don't touch my corn. It's for my mommy.

Jonathan: You know, Brian Regan has this great bit

where parents get mad at kids, because the kids are screaming that their balloon floated away.

But imagine as an adult that your wallet just floats away.

Alan: Yeah. Jonathan: Waaaaahhh, my wallet!

Alan: Aaaaahhhh, my wallet!

Jonathan: And... and this film, everything the kids say, Our house is haunted.

I saw a giant fluffy... what is Totoro anyway?

Alan: He's a troll? He's a forest troll?

Jonathan: Yeah, he's a protective forest...

Alan: Protected forest spirit who's also a fluffy bear. And I want one.

Jonathan: They love him so much, they put him in Toy Story 3. Alan: I know.

Jonathan: But I'm watching the kids say ridiculous things or things where their emotions come on too strong for us

because we don't think... I know I have that with my kids. Alan: Oh, yeah.

Jonathan: This isn't even a big deal. I don't know why you're so upset about this,

and I... watching this movie, I was inspired to be a better parent

because their emotions are legit.

Alan: Oh. They're real. Yeah.

Jonathan: And the things that I talk about, I love what she says. We have a haunted house.

And the mom's like, Really?

Alan: Really? That's great. Jonathan: Yeah.

Alan: I want to meet some ghosts.

Jonathan: My kids say to me, Hey, dad, we got a haunted house.

It'd be like, We're moving.

Homer: And that's the end of that chapter.

Satsuki: Hey, Mei. Wake up!

What do you think you're doing sleeping out here?

Alan: This is my oldest son to a tee, like, he's just in charge.

Even when he shouldn't be.

Satsuki: Maybe you were dreaming.

Mei: No, I saw Totoro.

Satsuki: Totoro? You mean a troll? Like the one in your storybook?

Mei: Mm hmm. He called himself Totoro. He was furry, with a great big mouth.

There is a little one, and a bigger one, and a huuuuuuuge one that kept falling asleep.

Tatsuo: There you are.

Jonathan: Like, there's a giant one, like, there's three sizes.

Tatsuo: Great secret hiding place.

Alan: I just love that... You know, daughter is missing.

And as soon as he finds her, it's not scolding, it's not a lecture.

It's, Wow, this would be a great secret hiding place.

Jonathan: Yeah, it's almost like it was written by kids,

if kids could write excellent screenplays.

Alan: Oh man. Yeah.

Jonathan: Because like, this is how we would want you to parent.

I love the design, though, when she comes... when she finds Totoro and he...

Because she follows the tiny one. Alan: Right.

Jonathan: That's how she gets lost. She follows a tiny one and there's medium one.

And then they skip large and extra-large

Alan: Just to like house-sized

Satsuki: Mai says that she saw a totoro here.

Tatsuo: A Totoro?

Mei: Mm hmm.

This way!

Jonathan: But how often there's parents like, I'm not going in there, guys.

Tatsuo: Hey, wait up!

Satsuki: Here?

Mei: Last time the tunnel led to Totoro's tree.

Satsuki: I didn't see another path to take.

Hey, where are you going?

Jonathan: I feel that

Stretching his back.

Satsuki: Mei, come back!

Alan: I also love, like, all the backgrounds in this, are so painterly and kind of, you know,

impressionist paintings. It's just beautiful.

Mei: I really did see Totoro. I'm not lying.

Jonathan: And they stop.

Alan: Yeah.

And the dad's response is just great here.

Jonathan: Her little face!

Mei: It's not a lie, dad.

Tatsuo: Hmm. Don't worry, Mei. Satsuki, and I believe you

and I bet you, I know what happened. You must have met one of the spirits of the forest.

That means you're a very lucky girl.

But you can't always see the spirits.

You can only see them when they want you to.

Hey, let's give the forest spirits a proper greeting.

Satsuki: A greeting?

Of course. Come on, let's go.

Mei: Dad, she says the hole disappeared.

Tatsuo: Then... right now, the forest spirits don't want to be seen.

Satsuki: But dad, I want to see them too.

Tatsuo: Maybe you will, if you're lucky.

Jonathan: But there's no "OK girls enough of this nonsense".

Tatsuo: [Tree]'s been around since long ago, back in the time when trees and people used to be friends,

Alan: Back in the time when trees and people used to be friends.

Jonathan: But he's got the same sense of wonder.

Tatsuo: I knew this would be a good place for our family to live.

I think it'll make your mother feel right at home.

So let's give this tree a nice greeting and go eat our lunch.

Satsuki: Then I want to write a letter to mom and tell her all about this.

Mei: I will too.

Satsuki: Hey!

Tatsuo: Attention! Thank you for watching over Mei and making us feel so welcome here.

Please continue to look after us

Girls: Please continue to look after us.

Jonathan: Yeah, I mean, I can see that... because all of that's very Eastern.

Alan: Yeah. You know, this is not just like, Oh, this is just a Japanese thing.

It's just a cute dad thing.

Tatsuo: Maybe squirrels live here.

Girls: Squirrels!

Tatsuo: I think rats eat acorns. Maybe they're rats.

Mei: No!

Satsuki: Ewwww

Mei: Squirrels are better.

Jonathan: So you're tearing up a little right now.

Alan: Of course I am. Are you kidding me?

Jonathan: Well, what got you there?

Alan: It just the... erm...

Just that moment of the dad connecting with his kids in a way that they understand.

And that's the thing that they're going to, you know, they're going to take that with them

for the rest of their lives.

This... this moment of, you know, my dad acknowledging my feelings

and helping me to, like, understand them and whatever. Jonathan: Yeah.

Alan: You know, they're going to look back.

If they grow up, hopefully they keep seeing Totoros and Catbusses their whole life

because that'd be great. But if not, and they grow up and,

you know, grow out of childish things or whatever, they'll look back at that and just say,

Oh, my dad was such a great, positive, affirming, loving guy.

Jonathan: Yeah. Alan: Right?

Jonathan: So often we get caught up in adulting and adulting is hard.

Alan: It's... no fun and it sucks.

Jonathan: And so often it's like, No, I'm working so you can play.

So just go play and let me work.

Alan: I edit in my basement and my kids come down every day

and want to chat and do stuff. And it's like, Yeah, I suck at it.

Jonathan: You're the best friend.

Mei: Dad. You be the flower shop. Ok?

Jonathan: And I'm my kids' best friend. And...

How does it feel when your best friend is like, I can't, I don't have time for you.

But, like, the reality of it is I also can't just stop what I'm doing all the time

and play with them until sundown, because then I won't get sleep.

Satsuki: Look, it's morning.

Tatsuo: Hmmm

Mei: Hey, wake uuuuuup!

Alan: Right.

Jonathan: You know, you have to have that balance, but how often where I'm... I'm kneeling down

to hug people at night and then they dog pile on me and I don't want to be dog piled on.

It's the end of the day, I'm kind of grumpy. I just wanted to give them a quick hug good night.

Or how often they tell me things. And I'm just like, Oh, OK. Mm hmm. Alan: Yeah.

Jonathan: Yeah. Tell me your story about you and your friends on the trampoline. That's great.

And I'm just thinking of all I have to do tonight, and I'm not saying I'm always like that.

Very often I'm the only dad on the playground, who's on the playground with my kids

Alan: Who's like, yeah, doing stuff and scrambling around.

Jonathan: Which is why I've started yoga, because...

Alan: We're getting old, man. Jonathan: Yeah.

Alan: We're getting old.

Jonathan: Roller slides. They... they hit differently.

Alan: Those are... ooh.

Also, I don't think they're designed for, like, 200-pound dudes.

Jonathan: But I'm watching this, and I'm just reminded of the type of parent that I want to be. Alan: Yeah.

Jonathan: You know? That when she's talking about Totoro and he says... he's going along with the mythology

and he's making stuff up along with her. Alan: Yeah.

Jonathan: Or he says, Yeah, well, I guess the spirits don't want to show themselves right now,

so we'll just come back later. Instead of, Stop being ridiculous.

There's no such thing as forest spirits.

I'm eating Mountain Mist, but it's Mountain Dew-flavored popcorn.

Alan: I've got Sour Power, mainly because this color palette is approximately my feelings

watching My Neighbor Totoro. This might be one of my favorite flavors.

LisasPopcorn.com/CinemaTherapy You can get a subscription box.

They'll ship you six different flavors a month.

Satsuki: Granny, what's wrong?

Nanny: I don't know. She said she wouldn't stop crying unless I brought her to you.

Satsuki: She said that? Mei, be reasonable.

You know, you have to stay with granny today because I have school and dad's teaching at the university.

Alan: And she just will not be consoled.

Satsuki: Can't you just stay with granny until then?

Nanny: She's been so good up till now, won't you Mei?

Alan: So she's obviously, you know, dealing with stuff from mom not being around,

but the thing I love about this is, you know, Mei is, I don't know, three or four or something like that.

Jonathan: Mm hmm. So she's like, I'll see what we can do and brings her into class.

Alan: And she's just happy as a clam. And of course, all these, like first or second graders

are responding exactly the way they would. It's just the kids are so much like real kids. Jonathan: Yeah.

Alan: Like, completely irrational.

Jonathan: That's a Seawright kid drawing if I've ever seen one

Alan: That is a 100% one of my kids drawing.

What are you drawing, Mei?

Mei: It's a big Totoro.

Satsuki: Mei, try to keep quiet, will you?

Mei: Mm hmm.

Jonathan: That is my daughter. Be quiet. SURE!

Alan: SURE, I'LL BE QUIET.

One of the things that I love about this movie is it just nails little kids.

They have their own logic that is not logical.

Jonathan: Mm hmm.

Alan: And you know, to Mei, like, this is... this is absolutely the correct behavior

that I should be doing.

Jonathan: Yeah. Well, and our fans have asked us, you know, show us more positive examples

of what healthy relationships look like. So let's talk about attachment theory for a second.

Bowlby's attachment theory, healthy attachment and then insecure attachment.

There's anxious, and avoidant, and ambivalent, and we can...

We'll actually go deep into all of that in a different video. Mei is healthily attached.

So with unhealthy attachments, you have either people who are never there for you,

so you learn just to shut down and you just take care of yourself

and you don't form connections. Or you can be you can be anxiously attached

because people are sometimes there for you and sometimes not, sometimes loving, sometimes harsh

Alan: Oh, yeah. So it's, like, unpredictable.

Jonathan: Yeah, and it's... Yeah, and that's where the anxiety comes from,

is I don't know what I'm going to get. Alan: Right.

Jonathan: Whereas Mei has a father and a mother and a sister who, I mean, they're not completely...

Alan: They're not perfect.

Jonathan: It's not unrealistic. Her sister starts with, Mei, be reasonable.

Mei it's OK. I'll be home in two hours, and I'm not saying we should always give kids

exactly what we want, but sometimes we're afraid to because we don't want to spoil them,

or because we don't want to teach them anything they want.

But there's a difference between, I would like ice cream for breakfast,

and, Can I just hang out with you because I'm scared or I'm lonely. Alan: Right.

Jonathan: You know, there's a huge difference there. And our sister is like, OK, we'll see what we can do.

I mean, throughout this whole film, there's actually not a ton of conflict here,

and there's not a... like, towards the end... Alan: Yeah.

Jonathan: There's there's some tension and some danger, but for most of the film, there's not a lot going on

except for just people kind of being decent to each other.

Alan: There's not really a plot. Like, if you ask me to describe

what happens in this movie, it's like, a family moves to the countryside,

they meet some forest spirits or monster things that are cute.

One of them gets lost. She gets found. The end. That's literally all that happens,

and I just want to, just live in it, inside of it.

I want to cut it open like a tauntaun and just insert me in there.

Jonathan: It just goes to show oftentimes filmmakers have to create conflict and tension out of...

where there doesn't need to be any because they think it's necessary.

And I don't know, I think we all have enough drama in our real lives that sometimes it's nice

just to sit with something that just is, like you said, it's just a warm blanket.

There's something so reassuring about this entire film.

Alan: Well, and I mean, just to address the filmmaking here,

that's incredibly hard to pull off. Like, how do you make something like this

where there's no conflict and it's not boring? Jonathan: Yeah.

Alan: Because this could tip into boring, real easy, and I wasn't bored.

Jonathan: The answer is to be really charming, to be really warm and to be really imaginative.

Alan: I guess that's it

Jonathan: And put things on screen that people have never seen before.

Totoro: Raaaaaawrrr

Girls: RAAAAAAAWWRRR

Satsuki: Mei, the doctor said that mom's not doing well,

so she doesn't get to come home this weekend.

Mei: No fair!

Satsuki: It can't be helped, Mei.

What if she came home early and it made her even worse?

Mei: It's not fair!

Satsuki: Mei, we just have to wait a little longer.

Mei: Nooooo.

Satsuki: You want her to die, Mei? Is that what you want?

Mei: Nooooooooooo!

Satsuki: You're such a baby. Just grow up.

Jonathan: This part's a little less warm blankety.

Alan: Yeah.

I mean, this is the one bit of, like, real conflict in the film, right? Is that scene.

Kanta: Come on, Mei.

Mei: Sheeeee's soooo meeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaannnnn!

Alan: Oh, that is so grating because I have a daughter and have heard that before.

Nanny: Don't worry, your father is going to stop by the hospital.

The doctors say your mom just has a cold. She should be home next Saturday.

Satsuki: This is just like last time.

They said mom just had a little cold. She'd be home in a few days.

Granny, what will we do if she dies?

Nanny: Satsuki...

Satsuki: Maybe she's dead already.

Jonathan: I have an 11 year old daughter who very often has to be the adult

but every once in a while I'm reminded that she's a child

Alan: Just slips back into that. Yeah.

Jonathan: Where, well, she's used to being stoic and being the big sister. Alan: Yeah.

Nanny: Ok.

Jonathan: What I want to talk about is we sometimes have a hard time with children

because children have strong emotions just like us. And they don't know how to make sense of them.

They don't know how to process them. And we just want them to grow up. Alan: Right.

Jonathan: The issue that I've seen in therapy and in life is, first of all,

most adults don't know how to healthily process their emotions.

Alan: Yeah, I need to grow up.

I haven't gotten there yet

Jonathan: Or to express their fear or their sadness or their anger in a healthy way

that brings people closer together.

Alan: Sure. Jonathan: But we expect kids to somehow do this.

Alan: Yeah, you magically be better at this than me. Just do that now.

Jonathan: Yeah. And so here's Mei. And she's worried about her mom.

And if you look at it from an adult perspective or even from a big sister perspective,

Mei is being ridiculous. Alan: Sure.

Jonathan: Mom needs to stay there. If she comes home, she could get worse,

so she just needs to stay at the doctor's office. But to Mei, she's been so looking forward

to having her mom home, and all she can think of is how unfair it is that her mom has to stay. Alan: Yeah.

Mei: I'll give her the corn that I picked. That will make her better.

Jonathan: And so she says, It's unfair, it's unfair, and what she's really looking for

is for her sister to put her arms around her and say, It's not fair. You're right.

Like, it's really sad and I'm really sorry. But instead, her sister's just scolding her,

lecturing her, correcting her. And we do this with kids, and we do this with each other.

Is we'll all... we... is we scold, we lecture, we correct instead of just empathizing.

And this isn't just a kid thing, it's just especially a kid thing.

But all of us need empathy. All of us need sympathy.

All of us just need for someone to acknowledge, Yeah, this sucks.

Instead, her sister tries to get her to change her behavior by being rational.

And then when that doesn't work, she shames her. Do you want mom to die? Is that it? Alan: Yeah.

Jonathan: Which, of course she doesn't. So Mei... Again, if you're looking at it as an adult,

you might think, Well, Mei's refusing to be satisfied.

She's saying it's unfair mom can't come home, but she also doesn't want her mom to die,

so Mei won't be happy no matter what. And when you think how ridiculous, how childish,

how selfish, how... But really, it's just an expression of pain. Alan: Right.

Jonathan: And so when it comes to people and emotions, especially children in their emotions,

we often look at validation as if it's this... It's a word for the week. Oh, I nEeD vAlIdAtIoN,

Alan: I nEeD tO bE vAlIdAtEd. Weeeee

Jonathan: And we, and we... we talk about it like that, as if it's only weak people need that.

Alan: Yeah, if you were strong, you wouldn't ever need validation.

You could just be your own man and be mad...

It's like a man thing. Jonathan: Yeah.

Alan: Every man is an island.

Jonathan: Well, it's a man thing... Alan: Pfffttt

Jonathan: But then it's also a woman thing. When women are taught, like,

that being vulnerable makes them weak. Alan: Sure.

Jonathan: And so women who want equal standing and equal status also do OK, what men have always done,

which is they stuff their emotions

Alan: Be stoic and stuff your emotions.

Jonathan: So that's a... that's a backfire.

[boom, bang, bang]

Jonathan: But the simple fact is, we all need to feel understood.

It's not weakness for someone to say, You're not crazy for feeling this,

or, I totally get where you're coming from, or even, you know, I've never been there,

but I'm here for you. Alan: Right.

Jonathan: Right? And so what ends up happening that Mei runs.

She runs away from her sister. She's trying to run towards her mother.

We all try to run to the place or the people with whom we feel safe.

And that will lead us to run away from situations, from obligations, from relationships, when we should stay.

And if she were... if she were older and had the learning to do so, she could have said,

I just need you to hold me right now and tell me that it's going to be OK.

Or, Can you just tell me that it sucks that mom's not here, right?

And that's another thing is...

Alan: Well, and so many of us as adults don't have that tool set, right?

Like, we don't know what we want. We just have to feel a thing. Jonathan: Yeah.

Alan: And, like, it takes a lot of sort of self-knowledge to figure out,

Oh, what I really need is to feel this right now. Can you let me feel it? Jonathan: Yeah.

Alan: Not, I need a cure for it. Or sometimes it's, Oh, I actually need a solution to this. Jonathan: Yeah.

Alan: So, like, give me a hug and then tell me how to fix it.

Jonathan: And the beautiful thing about self-knowledge is that then helps us to understand others. Alan: Sure.

Jonathan: Because if I'm in touch that, Hey, when I'm upset, I just need someone to hug me.

Scott Evil: Why?

Dr. Evil: Could I have a hug?

Scott Evil: No.

Dr. Evil: Give me a hug.

Scott Evil: No way.

Dr. Evil: Come here.

Scott Evil: I'm not coming over there.

Dr. Evil: Let's go.

Scott Evil: Forget it.

Dr. Evil: Pronto.

Jonathan: I've had an experience with my wife where she told me,

When I'm angry with you, I need you to put your arms around me.

And I'm like, Really? She says, Yeah, and I'm like, But you give me that look,

that makes me think you're going to murder me.

Alan: Yeah, this seems like a real good way for me to get kneed in the crotch?

Vance: Well, you're satisfied?

Sara: Almost.

Vance: Oh.

Jonathan: She's like, No, when I'm most angry is when I need you to hug me

and it just goes against my... because what I get in that moment is back away slowly. Alan: Sure.

Jonathan: And... Alan: Angry bear, yeah.

Jonathan: Her voicing that is very powerful to me. Alan: Right.

Jonathan: Because now I know what to do and with my kids, they're not going to voice that

because they don't know.

Alan: They don't have the skill set. Yeah.

Jonathan: Yeah, they're just feeling all this.

And part of being a patient parent or caregiver or teacher, anyone who's...

who's dealing with kids is recognizing that, see past the behavior to the feeling,

because the behavior is what you work in a rush to correct. Alan: Right.

Jonathan: And I say in our Fight Less, Connect More class,

which is on our membership site at TheCinemaTherapy.com

But we talk about the importance of seeing past the behavior to the emotion.

We try and correct behavior before we validate, before we empathize and connect

and people put the walls up. And this is just as true for children.

Children will receive feedback in correction if they feel respected and loved, just like adults.

Alan: And that, of course, reminds me of the greatest romantic comedy of all time

Shaun of the Dead.

Liz mostly just needed validation. She needed a little bit of behavior change

from Shaun as well, but Liz grew in her ability to communicate as well.

Jonathan: Thank you, Storyblocks for sponsoring this episode.

Alan: Storyblocks helps creators like me, create more video content and make it awesome.

Like Michael Bay.

Michael Bay: Awesome pussycat,

Awesome barbecue,

Awesome pool.

Alan: My own personal savior.

Jonathan: They've got a huge library of royalty-free footage.

Alan: The biggest.

Jonathan: Biggest of...

Alan: It's not the biggest, it's big.

Jonathan: Footage, sound effects, music.

It's demand driven, so they're constantly updating it with new material.

They're also committed to increasing representation with lots of diverse and inclusive content,

not just what's on screen, but also created by people from a variety of backgrounds as well.

Alan: Anything created by animated characters?

Daffy: Now, how about some color, stupid?

HEY!

Jonathan: No, it's a blind spot for Storyblocks. They're getting there.

Alan: Nobody's perfect yet.

Jonathan: You can get unlimited downloads. They've got subscriptions to fit...

...every budget and they're flexible so you can scale to fit your projects needs.

Alan: They're more flexible than this. Jonathan: Oh boy...

So click the link below, Storyblocks.com/CinemaTherapy

and get creating.

Oi oi, today! Alan: Today.

Jonathan: So now her sister's, Mei's sister, has found her.

Alan: Well, Mei's sister is finding her. Here we go.

Jonathan: With the help...

Alan: Of a Catbus

Jonathan: The arms stick out for balance.

Alan: The world's greatest public transportation system.

Jonathan: Mao.

Satsuki: Mei! Mei: Satsuki! Jonathan: The eye!

Satsuki: You're OK.

Mei: I'm sorry.

Jonathan: It's this close to creepy.

Alan: Yeah.

Satsuki: Were you trying to take your corn to mom at the hospital?

Mei: Mm hmm

Catbus: Maaaoooo.

Jonathan: But she doesn't lecture her, she's just, OK, help me understand why you did this.

Satsuki: You're going to take us to the hospital?

Thank you.

Alan: More busses should be huggable.

Jonathan: The big smile, the unblinking smile, like I say, it's a step away from creepy.

Alan: It's... it is creepy, but it's just... it's so lovely.

Jonathan: Look, mom's OK. Awwww.

Mei: Look at mom, she's laughing

Satsuki: Everything will be ok

Alan: Just all the different legs are holding the tree.

Yasuko: I'm going to hurry up and get well.

Tatsuo: That's the spirit.

Jonathan: How did they get it that close without making a noise?

Tatsuo: Who left this?

Alan: Well, if there's one thing I know about 4-year olds is they're great at sneaking

Jonathan: True

Yasuko: [...] smiling at us [...]

Alan: Are yours? Mine are terrible at it.

Jonathan: Mine are great at sneaking when they want to be. But then they will also...

Yasuko: For mommy

Jonathan: ...walk into something loud and give themselves away depending on the day.

Yay, the ins...

♬♬ To-to-ro, To-to-ro ♬♬

Alan: And this is a song you're going to have in your head for the next three weeks. You're welcome.

Jonathan: That is so cool.

Alan: Woosh... I love this movie so much.

Jonathan: It's so sweet.

Alan: There's not a ton going on in this movie. It's just beautiful art.

The design, particularly the creature character design, is, I mean, look at this guy.

It is perfect. They they achieved it. They created the world's cutest thing.

Jonathan: Totoro's got dead fish eyes. Alan: Oh, sure.

Jonathan: There's something... something so off about him.

And yet the bizarreness is what makes him adorable

Alan: It's what makes him adorable. Like, the weirdness is what makes it work.

Jonathan: He's not predictably cute, like, just your average teddy bear. Like...

He's looking at both of us at the same time,

Alan: Both of us at the same time. And I am here for it.

I love Totoro. Like, I just want more films like this that are just like nice and sweet and kind

and don't have... I mean, it doesn't have a lot to say other than that.

Jonathan: Yeah, to just be good. It's a very gentle, but also very thorough exploration of understanding

the emotions of children and understanding how to create healthy attachments with children.

Our attachment styles are with us throughout our lives, which you can learn more about

in this Mended Light video right here. But what I will say is when we are affirming,

when we are equally imaginative, when we're able to get down on our knees

and go into the tree forts, you know, when we're...

and when we don't shut kids down for being kids, for having imaginations,

for enjoying life, for having fun, for being loud. They feel loved.

Now... Yeah, of course, there can be time and a place.

I mean, like kids aren't loud in every single place, but I think we lose a lot when we think

our role as parents is just to provide. My favorite role as parent is to play.

And one thing that I realized is it's not just for my kids.

When I play with my kids half-heartedly, it's just for them. It's like, ohhhkaaay.

But what you really getting of playtime with your kids, Alan: Oh yeah, totally.

Jonathan: It is incredibly stress relieving.

Alan: It is stress relieving. It's energizing. I feel younger when I'm done with it,

until I have to stand up and then my back hurts

Jonathan: And you don't have to deal with the guilt of I keep pawning my kids off.

When I play with my kids, I'm like, I'm a good dad.

Alan: I'm a good dad, dammit.

Han Solo: I know

Jonathan: Now, if you love what we're doing here at Cinema Therapy,

please share with your friends, like, subscribe, and click the bell.

There are a lot of people I've talked to who enjoy our videos, but keep missing videos

and have to catch up. Or they say you should do a video on this film, and I'm like, We did one. Alan: We did.

Every week you will get a notification on your phone or on your YouTube when you log in

saying that you've got something new from Cinema Therapy so you won't miss a thing.

♬♬ And I don't want to miss a thing ♬♬

Jonathan: So until next time...

Meeeeeeaaaaaaaaooooooooowwwwwwww

Alan: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrr.

Internet Dads: And... Watch movies.

♬♬ To-to-ro, To-to-ro ♬♬

♬♬ ta-ram-dam ♬♬

♬♬ To-to-ro, To-to-ro ♬♬

Please choose the correct answer for each question below: