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Hello.
>> Hello. Is Ross there? Uh,
>> no he's not. Can I take a message?
>> Yes. This is Russell, Ross' divorce
lawyer. Just tell him that since I
haven't heard from him, I assume he's
decided to give the marriage a try.
>> Ross got married again? No.
>> All right, keep going. We are phasing
the accent out. Phasing it out.
So without retesting their results in
the laboratory,
the team would never have identified
the initial errors in their carbon
dating analog event.
Were there any questions at this point?
>> Yes.
>> What's happening to your accent?
>> Come again. What's What's this nonsense?
All right. I'm I'm not English.
I'm from Long Island.
I was really nervous and the accent just
um just came out.
I'm sorry.
So, if we can just get back to the
lecture.
Um
were there any questions?
about paleontology.
>> All right. Look, I was just trying to
make a good first impression. Obviously,
I screwed up, but what you guys think of
me is really important because I'm I'm
hoping to get a permanent job here. So,
if you just give me another chance to
make a good impression.
>> Russ, are you crazy? I'm still your
wife. What were you just never going to
tell me? What the hell is wrong with
you?
>> I did this kill you.
>> Why a Rachel?
>> I want you to take a piece of paper.
Here you go. And write down your most
embarrassing memory. Oh, and I do ask
that when you're not using the markers,
you put the caps back on them because
they will dry out.
Listen, you guys. Um, I don't mean to be
a pain about this, but um, I've noticed
that some of you are just placing them
on. You want to push the caps
until you hear them click.
>> Gunther, where are you going?
>> I um was sort of thinking about maybe
>> No, no, you can't go. No, this is fun.
Come on. We're just getting started
here. Here's your marker.
Listen, if you want to go, just go.
>> No, she'll yell at me again.
>> All right, I can get you out.
>> What?
>> In a minute, I'm going to create a
diversion.
When I do, walk quickly to the door and
don't look back.
Okay. The first person's most
embarrassing memory is, "Monica, your
party sucks."
All right. Very funny.
>> Oh no. Oh, did someone forget to use a
coaster?
>> What?
>> I don't see anything.
>> Great. I'm seeing water rings again.
>> Okay. She's taking the trash out so I
can get you out of here. But it has to
be now. She'll be back any minute.
>> What about my friend Victor?
>> Nope. Only the three of you. Any more
than that and she'll get suspicious.
>> All right, let me just get my coat.
>> There isn't time. You
must leave everything. They'll take care
of you next door.
>> Is it true they had beer?
>> Everything you've heard is true.
>> Could you guys please try to keep it
down? We're trying to start a bogle
tournament.
You and you. You're supposed to be at my
party. And Gunther,
>> what are you doing here?
>> Hey, welcome to the show,
>> Phoebe. All right. I'm sorry, but these
people needed me. You know, they work
hard all week. It's Saturday night. They
deserve to have a little fun. Go.
>> You know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe
it's a little quieter, less obvious sort
of fun, but you know, if people would
just give it a chance, it's so
>> Hello. My name is Clunkers.
>> May I please stay with you nice people?
>> Oh, I wish you could stay here, but
Chandler is allergic.
>> Extremely allergic. Okay. If I am
anywhere near a dog for more than 5
minutes, my throat will just close up.
>> That's odd, cuz this dog's been living
here for the past 3 days.
>> Really,
Taylor? If the dog has been here that
long and you haven't had a reaction,
maybe you're not allergic to this dog.
>> Well, it still has to go, right?
>> Why?
Okay, it's um
>> Don't do it.
>> Don't do what?
>> I have to. Okay, it's time.
>> Okay. I hate dogs.
>> What?
>> Crazy.
>> Told you.
>> You want to get this tattoo?
>> Yes, I do. It's just that Ross is
>> Okay. Hey. Hey. Is your boyfriend the
boss of you?
No. Okay. Who is the boss of you?
You?
No. You are the boss of you. Now you
march your heiny in there and get that
heart tattooed on your hip. Go.
>> Oh, it looks so good. Oh, I love it.
>> I know. So do I. Oh, Phoebe. I'm so glad
you made me do this. Okay, let me see
yours.
Okay, let's see yours again.
Baby, we just saw mine. Let me see
yours. Oh, okay.
Oh, no. Oh, it's gone. That's so weird.
I don't know how where it went.
>> You didn't get it?
>> No.
>> Why didn't you get it?
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
>> baby. How could you do this to me? This
was all your idea.
>> I know. I know. And I was going to get
it, but then he came in with this
needle. And like, did you know they do
this with needles?
>> Really? You don't say. Because mine was
licked on by kittens.
>> Hey, Joe. What's up?
>> Bad news. I watched the tape and passed
it along to my bosses and they weren't
interested.
>> Oh,
sorry, man.
But uh you watched the tape?
>> Yeah, I I I I liked it.
>> But uh my bosses didn't go for it.
Stupid sons of
[Laughter]
>> You didn't watch the tape.
>> What? Of course I did.
>> Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but
to lie to me.
>> I'm not lying to you. I watched it.
>> Well, you lied again.
>> I watched it. Keep going, Pinocchio.
>> I did.
>> No, you didn't.
>> I'm telling you, I watched the tape.
>> Did you watch the tape?
>> No.
[Applause]
[Music]
>> Can't believe Joey. I hate being called
a liar.
>> But you are a liar.
>> What did I just say?
>> You still here? Yes. And I have to say I
am not just hurt. I am insulted when I
tell somebody I did something.
>> Okay, hold on. Let me just stop you
right there. Okay, first you lied,
right? Then you lied about lying. Okay,
then you lied about lying about lying.
Okay, so before you lie about lying
about lying about lying about lying,
stop lying.
Why are you so sure I didn't watch this
tape? You want to know why? You want to
know why?
>> Well, this is going well.
>> Here's how I know you didn't watch the
tape. Okay, if you had seen what was on
this tape, believe me, you would have
some comments. All right, now remember,
I got paid a lot of money for this and
it only aired in Japan.
Ichibon
lipstick for men.
[Music]
Ichiban lipstick for men. Sai
and that's how I know you didn't watch
the tape.
>> He really is a chameleon.
>> Hi, I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial
service.
>> Corey. Corey Weston.
>> Yeah.
>> You look amazing.
>> And you are
>> Chandler. Chandler Bing. And I'm not
gay. I'm not gay at all.
>> You are married though.
>> Don't listen to him. He's in a really
bad mood.
>> I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is
just so sad.
>> I didn't know Ross and you were so
close.
>> No, we weren't. But we had one class
together. He was such a great guy and he
talked so passionately about science.
I always remembered him.
>> I'm sure that would mean a lot to him.
And if Heaven has a door, I'm sure he's
pressing his ear up against it and
listening intently.
>> I thought so many times about calling
him and asking him out. I guess I really
missed my chance.
>> Oh, you didn't.
I'm still alive.
Corey, I I know this is a big surprise
for you. It's a long story, but the
things you just said really made my day.
I mean, the fact that you're here means
more to me than than if this room were
filled with people.
>> You sick freak. Who does that? I can't
believe I had a crush on you.
>> Did you hear that? Corey Weston had a
crush on
>> Listen you guys. I have this friend at
Blooming Dales who's quitting tomorrow
and he wants to abuse his discount. So,
anyone who wants to come with me and
take advantage of it.
>> Oh, I can't. I have to take my
grandmother to the vet.
>> Okay. Um, I'll go with you. Great.
Okay.
>> Hi, honey. Hey, sweets.
>> And hello to the rest.
>> Monica, what are you doing? You can't go
shopping with her. What about Rachel?
>> This is going to be a problem, isn't it?
Oh,
>> come on. You're going to Blooming Dales
with Julie? It's like cheating on Rachel
in her house of worship.
>> Monica, she will kill you.
>> She will kill you like a dog in the
street.
>> So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are
going shopping tomorrow.
>> Oh, yeah. Um, it's actually not that big
a deal. It's a big deal to me. This is
great, Monica. I really appreciate it.
>> You're welcome.
[Applause]
[Music]
>> Hey. Hey. Where is everybody? They took
Ben to the park. Where have you been?
Just out. Had some lunch. Just me.
little quality time with me. Hey, thanks
for your jacket.
>> Oh, no problem. You could borrow it, by
the way.
>> Oh, here are your keys, honey.
Excellent.
>> Mom.
>> Mhm. If uh you were at lunch alone, how
come it cost you uh $53?
>> You know what probably happened?
Someone must have stolen my credit card
and sort of just put the receipt back in
your pocket.
That is an excellent, excellent
question.
That is excellent.
>> Monica, what's with you? Who did you
have lunch with?
>> Judy. Who?
>> Julie.
>> What?
>> Jodie.
>> You were with Julie?
Look,
when it started, I was just trying to be
nice to her because she was my brother's
girlfriend.
And then one thing led to another, and
before I knew it, we were
shopping.
Oh my god.
Wait, we only did it once.
It didn't mean anything to me.
>> Yeah, right.
>> Really?
>> Sure,
>> Rachel. I was thinking of you the whole
time.
[Applause]
>> Look,
I'm sorry. All right. I I never meant
for you to find out.
>> Oh, please. Please. You wanted to get
caught. That is not true.
>> So, you just sort of happened to leave
it in here?
>> Did it ever occur to you that I might
just be that stupid?
Okay, Monica, I just have to know one
thing.
>> Did you go with her to Bloomingdales?
[Applause]
>> Okay,
okay,
okay. I just really um I just really
need to not be with you right now.
>> Let me go change in my room. My clothes
are
[Music]
>> Wow, you look
>> No time for that.
>> Hey, dude. Let me in. I got a girl out
here.
Well, I've got a girl in here.
>> No, you don't. I just saw you go in
there with Monica.
>> Well, we're we're hanging out in here.
Which one of us is going to be having
sex in there? Me or you?
>> Well, I suppose I would have to say you.
>> What if we're watching a movie in here?
>> Which we are, and we already paid for
it. It's My Giant.
My giant. I love that movie.
>> Hey,
>> what are you doing here? I've been
trying to call you.
>> Listen. Um
>> Oh, no. No, no, don't say listen. I know
that. Listen, I've said that. Listen.
>> I'm sorry.
>> I don't get it. What happened? What
about everything you said under the
bridge?
>> Yeah. Um,
you know, you you should just forget
about what I said under the bridge. I
was talking crazy that night. I was so
drunk.
>> You don't drink.
>> That's right. I don't
But I was I was drunk on you.
>> Worse.
>> But okay. Yeah. So, it's not going to
work.
>> Why? Is it because I'm friends with
Phoebe?
If it was, would you stop hanging out
with her?
>> No. No, I I couldn't do that.
>> Um, then yeah, it's cuz of Phoebe.
So, you know, it's either her or me.
>> Then, uh, then I'm sorry.
>> You know,
you're going to be really, really hard
to get over.
I know.
>> I don't know whether it's just cuz we're
breaking up or what, but you have never
looked so beautiful.
>> Really?
[Music]
Thieves.
>> Yeah. Monica, my star student. You know,
you called me that before. So, I I took
the liberty of fashioning a star out of
aluminum foil. Now, no pressure. You
like my cookies, you give me the star.
>> Wow, a star.
I know you all hate me and and I'm
sorry, but I don't care.
Okay, Joey, you're up next.
>> Oh my god, this is amazing. You get an
A.
>> I got an A
in school. Hey, I'm a dork.
>> Joey, I'm so proud of you.
>> I think you should give him your star.
Excuse me.
>> He doesn't even know what he's doing.
>> We're all beginners here. Nobody knows
what they're doing.
>> I do. I'm a professional chef.
>> Oh, relax. It's not a courtroom drama.
>> If you're a professional chef, what are
you doing taking introduction to
cooking? Yeah.
>> I'm I'm sorry. It's just that um Well, I
cook at this restaurant, Allesandro, and
um I just got a really bad review.
>> Oh, Allesandro. I love that place.
>> You do?
>> Oh, yes. You're an excellent chef as a
person. You're a little
>> Oh, I'm totally crazy. But you like the
food
>> very much. Okay, then. I don't stink.
I'm a good chef. Okay.
>> I don't want to go. I'm having fun.
Well, actually, did either of you pay
for this class?
>> Hey, hey, hey. If my friend says it's
time to go, it's time to go.
>> I make you take an oath?
>> No, I made myself take one.
>> Yeah. No fooling around with clients and
um always be prepared.
>> Yeah, that one's actually from the Boy
Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
>> Why don't you just give them to somebody
else?
>> No, I can handle it. No, I'm a
professional.
Oh, Fibs, is that a new ankle bracelet?
>> Well, and you got a pedicure. Your feet
are all dressed up.
>> Because that's the only part of you he
can see when he's on the table.
>> You're going to do some feet flirting.
>> I don't know what you're talking about.
>> Then how do you explain the tow ring?
>> Because it's Arabian princess day at
work. Okay, leave me alone.
>> Wanted to
>> interesting.
>> Anyway,
um probably worked out for the best.
>> Yeah, sure.
>> Okay. In about 10 seconds, you're going
to see him kiss me.
>> And in about 5 seconds, you're going to
see why.
Ross, did I ever tell you about the time
that I went backpacking through Western
Europe?
[Laughter]
>> Hey, get ready to see some begging.
>> Oh, you came on to Ross.
>> What?
>> Now I'm so happy.
>> What are you talking about?
>> You use the Europe story. That's the
magic story you use when you want to
have sex.
>> How do you know about that story?
>> How do you know about that story?
>> I heard it from my friend Irene who
heard it from some guy.
>> Some guy?
>> No. No. She told me that his name was
Ken Adams.
>> Ken Adams. make you think Barry is
seeing someone in the city?
What? What would make you think that?
Well, ever since we announced the
engagement, he's been acting really
weird. And then last night, he came home
smelling like Chanel.
Really,
if it'll make you feel any better, when
Barry and I first got engaged, he went
through a whole weird thing, too. Oh,
God. You see, that's what I was afraid
of. What? What's afraid of? Okay. Okay.
When Barry was engaged to you, he and I
kind of had a little thing on the side.
I know. I know. And when he proposed to
me, everyone said, "Don't do it. He's
just going to do to you what he did to
Rachel." And now I feel so stupid.
Oh, Mindy.
Oh, you are so stupid.
Oh, we are both so stupid. What do you
mean?
>> Smell familiar?
>> Oh, no.
Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, no. Me. I am so
sorry. No, I am sorry. I'm sorry.
>> You want to see something?
>> Sure. What? Okay. Um, this is going to
be fun. Watch me freak out, Chandler.
>> Honey.
>> Yeah.
>> Listen, uh I I've been doing some
thinking and I don't know whether it's
because we're here or Rachel's giving
birth,
but um
I think we should try to have a baby.
>> Okay.
>> What was it now?
>> Okay. Hey, I've been thinking about it,
too. And I I think we're ready. What?
>> Are you kidding me? You You You think
we're ready to have a baby now?
>> Oh, this is fun.
>> You're ready to have a baby? My boy's
all grown up.
>> You said you were ready, too.
>> Yeah, but I was just screwing with you
to to try to get your voice all high and
weird like mine is now.
>> Guess what? Haven't you wanted a kid
like forever? Okay, just back off,
mister.
>> Wait for me.
>> It was a mistake. I made a mistake.
Okay,
>> a mistake. What were you trying to put
it in? Her purse.
>> Where? Where did he put it?
[Applause]
>> Ros, you had sex with another woman.
>> Oh my god.
>> Oh god. I knew something had to be wrong
because my fingernails did not grow at
all yesterday.
>> Yeah. Well, I guess they had a fight and
he got drunk.
>> You guys knew about this and you didn't
tell us.
>> He had sex and we get hit in our heads.
>> You know what? I want you to leave. Get
out of here. Just get out.
>> No. No. I want to stay. I want to talk
about this.
>> Okay. All right. How was she?
>> Uh-oh.
>> What
>> was she good?
>> Don't answer that.
>> I know. She said, "You wanted to talk
about it. Let's talk about it." How was
she?
>> She was awful.
>> She was not good. Not good.
>> Compared to
She was different. Oh.
>> Uhoh.
>> Good. Different.
>> Nobody likes change.
>> Should we do something?
>> Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel.
I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. I I was
disgusted with myself and then this
morning I was so I was I was so upset
and then I got your message and I was so
happy and all I wanted was to get her
out of my apartment as fast as possible.
>> Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wait a minute.
>> What time did your little friend leave?
>> Oh my god. She was there.
>> She was still there. She was in there
when I was in there.
>> Oh, Jessica.
>> Hey.
>> So, how is this for a big double date
tonight?
>> Oh my god.
>> Oo, great. Just the reaction I was
hoping for.
>> Yeah. So, you uh you found someone for
me? You didn't forget?
>> Of course not. And you are going to love
Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute
and funny. And I can't tell you how I
know this, but she is not opposed to
threesomes.
>> Yeah. So, tell me something about my
guy.
>> No.
>> Come on, give me something. What's his
name?
>> Mike.
>> Mike?
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Okay. What's his last name?
>> Damn it. Is there no mystery left in
romance anymore?
>> All right. We'll see you and Mike at the
restaurant in a couple hours.
>> All right, great.
>> All right.
>> See you.
>> All right.
>> Why did I have to say Mike? I don't
know, Mike. Why couldn't I said
>> there's no guys in there?
>> And wrap up all of your Christmas gifts.
>> No,
>> I uh Oh, I'll squeeze you fresh orange
juice every morning
>> with extra pumps.
>> Yeah.
>> No,
>> dude.
I've got it.
>> You don't have it.
>> I so got it. There's going to be rumors
about this. There's no way to stop it.
Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know.
>> How do Monica and Phoebe know?
>> Oh, I called them.
>> When they ask me what I saw, I can be
very generous
>> or very stingy.
Go on.
>> I can make you a legend.
I can make you this generation's Milton
Burl.
>> When Milton Burl has
>> Oh, not compared to you.
>> Hello.
>> Hey.
>> Hello, Chandler.
>> I love you.
>> Hey, what's going on?
Oh,
>> no he doesn't.
>> Two hours that lasted. I went to a bar
and then I just uh just walked around
for a while.
>> You walked around all night in the city
by yourself.
>> He hooked up.
>> He hooked up with someone.
>> Look, I don't have to answer your
questions. Okay. I'm a big boy. I can do
whatever I want.
>> He hooked up.
>> Tell us about her.
>> Ross, you left your scarf in.
[Applause]
>> Hey, you guys.
[Music]
Well, I can promise you at least one
person will be crying. You know, I'm an
actor and any actor worth his salt can
cry on Q.
>> Really? Can do that?
>> Oh, you kidding me? Watch.
>> Well, I can't do it with you guys
watching me.
>> Mom, Chandler was just saying how
beautiful your sweater is.
>> Oh, thank you, Chandler. I just bought
it.
>> Oh, yes. as well. It's very beautiful
and it's cream colored and tight. And
I don't mean tight. I mean it's not too
tight. Not that I was looking at
>> What's the matter with him?
>> I think he's stoned again.
>> What?
>> What?
>> Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
>> Okay. I think I might know why my
parents don't like you. You do? Why?
>> Okay. Remember we were young.
>> Hey,
>> spring break, sophomore year, I I got
high in my bedroom and my parents walked
in and smelled it and so I told them
that you had gotten stoned and jumped
out the window.
>> What? Why did you do that?
>> I don't know. Uh, yours was the first
name that that popped into my head. I'm
I'm sorry. I didn't I didn't think it'd
matter.
>> How could it not matter? Well, how was I
supposed to know we'd end up being
friends after college? Let alone knew
you you'd be living with my sister.
>> What about all that friends forever
stuff?
>> I don't know. I I was all high.
>> Mom and dad just sent me in here to find
out if you were trying to get Ross
stoned.
>> Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in
college and he blamed it on me.
>> Ross, I can't believe you do that.
>> The reason we haven't told them we're
together is because they hate me. Okay.
So, will you fix this?
>> Okay. Okay. I'll tell them it wasn't
Chandler who got high.
>> Okay.
>> Now, who should I say it was?
>> You. It's not like it's a big deal. You
You don't still do it or anything.
>> All right. All right. Now, now, who
should I say tricked me into doing it?
>> Let's go.
>> Oh, yeah. About telling mom and dad. I
was thinking about maybe writing a
letter. All right. You know what? That's
it. You've had your chance.
>> What?
>> Mom, Dad, Ross smoked pot in college.
>> What?
>> You are such a tattletail.
>> Mom, Dad,
you remember that that time you walked
in my room and smelled marijuana?
>> Yes.
>> Yes.
Well, I told you it was Chandler who was
smoking the pot, but
it was me. I'm sorry.
>> It was you. And Dad, you know that
mailman that you got fired didn't steal
your Playboys? Ross did.
[Laughter]
>> Yeah. Well, Hurricane Gloria didn't
break the porch swing. Monica dead.
>> Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a
year.
>> Monica and Chandler are living together.
>> Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got
divorced again.
>> That's a lot of information to get in 30
seconds.
All right, Monica. Why you felt you had
to hide the fact that you're in an
important relationship is beyond me.
>> And we kind of figured about the porch
swing.
>> Brass, drugs, divorced again.
>> What happened, son? I I uh I got tricked
into all those things.
Chandler,
you've been Ross's best friend all these
years, stuck by him during the drug
problems,
>> and now you've taken on Monica as well.
Well, I don't know what to say. You're a
wonderful human being.
>> Thank you.
>> No, thank you,
Monica and Ross. I don't know what I'm
going to do about the two of you.
>> I'll talk to them.
>> Hi,
>> Rich. Ra, I am so sorry. I am so so
sorry.
>> Oh, Ross, come on. You just did what you
had to do.
>> Well, that's it. You're not mad. I mean,
it must have been terrible.
>> Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece.
That was a nice hotel, nice beach, met
the nice people. It's not too shabby for
Rachel.
>> So, what? That's it?
>> Oh, yeah. We're cool. Totally cool.
>> Thanks. Right. You're the best.
>> Oh, no. You're the best.
>> Oh, I got to go to the flower store.
Check it out. No one will tell me where
Emily is. So, I'm going to send 72 long
stemmed red roses to her parents' house.
One for each day that I've known and
loved her. That ought to get her talking
to me again.
>> Oh, Ross, when you make out the card, be
sure to make it out to Emily.
>> That's great. It's so good that you had
such a good time in Greece.
>> What?
I didn't have a good time in Greece.
Ross abandoned me, okay? I couldn't get
a plane out, so I had to stay in their
honeymoon suite with people coming up to
me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Keller,
why are you crying?"
I mean, it was so humiliating. I felt
like such an idiot. I mean, it's all my
fault. And you know why? Because I make
very bad decisions.
>> Oh, that's not true. Yes, it is. It is
true. I I went after Ross in stupid
London.
>> London is stupid. Stupid.
>> Phoebe, you were right. I should have
never gone to London. And from now on,
you make all of my decisions for me.
>> Oh, no. I did that for someone once. I'm
I'm not comfortable having that kind of
power and control over someone's life.
>> I'll do it.
>> That's fine. So, Monica, you are now in
charge of my love life.
got to go. Miss you, too. I love you,
but it's getting real late now.
>> Hey, ma. Listen. I made the appointment
with Dr. Baza. And
>> excuse me.
>> Did you know this isn't ma?
[Laughter]
Her name's Ronnie.
She's a pet mortician.
>> Sure.
>> So, how long you've been?
>> Remember when you were a little kid? I
used to take you to the Navyyard and
show you the big ships.
>> Since then?
>> No, it's only been 6 years. I just
wanted to put a nice memory in your head
so you'd know that I wasn't always such
a terrible guy.
Joe, you ever been in love?
>> I don't know.
>> Then you haven't.
>> You're burning your tomatoes.
>> Huh? You'll want to talk.
>> Joe, your dad's in love big time. And
the worst part of it is it's with two
different women.
>> Oh, man. Please tell me one of them is
Ma.
>> Of course. Of course. One of them is Ma.
What's the matter with you?
Hey, Joe. Hey, Dad. Ronnie's here. Huh?
>> Hi.
>> Hey.
>> Hey.
>> Hello, babe. What? What? What are you
doing here?
>> Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at
my apartment. I figured you need it
tomorrow for your meeting.
>> Thank you. Um,
so, who's up for a big game of Kplunk?
Look, I uh I I shouldn't have come. I I
better get going. I don't want to miss
the last train.
>> No, no, hun. I I don't want you taking
that thing to swing this.
>> Oh, where am I going to stay? Here.
>> Wo ho.
>> We'll go to a hotel.
>> Go to a hotel.
>> No, you won't.
>> No, he won't.
>> If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing
stuff. I want you right here where I can
keep an eye on you.
>> You're going to keep an eye on us?
That's right, mister. And I don't care
how old you are. As long as you're under
my roof, you're going to live by my
rule.
>> And that means no sleeping with your
girlfriend.
>> Wow, he's strict.
>> Now, Dad, you'll be in my room. Ronnie,
uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
>> Thanks. You're uh you're you're a good
kid.
>> Come on. I I'll show you to my room.
That sounds so weird when it's not
followed by no thanks. It's late.
[Applause]
>> Okay, now this is just for tonight.
Starting tomorrow, you got to make a
change. 6 years is long enough.
>> What kind of change? Well, either you
break it off with Ronnie.
>> I can't do that.
>> Then you got to come clean with Ma. This
is not right.
>> Yeah, but this
>> I don't want to hear it. Now go to my
room.
>> Come in.
I've been waiting for you.
Hi. I just want Oh my god. Oh my god.
Michael. Oh my god. Okay. I'm sorry.
Sorry. I I was um I was taking a nap.
Since when do you take naps in that
position?
>> Oh god. Monica, tell me you were waiting
for a guy. Please tell me you're waiting
for a guy. Guess I was a guy from work.
I'm seeing a guy from work. Ha.
That cute waiter guy from your
restaurant. The one that looks like a
non-threatening Ray Leota.
>> Uhhuh. That one. You know what? Just
give me a second. I'll be out of your
hair. I'm just going to grab a jacket.
When I get back, I want every little
detail.
Maybe that's him. Okay. Um Okay. Um
it's just Joey and Ross.
Why aren't you guys at the movie?
>> Well, we were, but Ross was talking so
loud on his phone, they threw us out.
>> I had to talk loud because the movie was
loud.
>> He's talking to London.
>> Oh my god. Did he get in touch with
Emily?
>> Well, no, not yet. He's calling everyone
on her side of the family, hoping that
someone will help him get in touch with
her.
>> I I don't care if I said some other
girl's name, you prissy old twit.
>> Ross, way to suck up to the family.
[Laughter]
I'm so glad you guys are all here. My
office finally got wrinkle-free fax
paper.
[Music]
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