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[Music]
so eggs which were bad then good then
bad again are now good again and wait a
minute now they're bad again I can't
believe you still watch the local news
dad local news is great sweetie it's
just like your precious internet except
you don't post angry comments you yell
them at the screen you call those
lottery numbers you call that a weather
report in other news you call that a
segue a heartbreaking story today at one
of Springfield's oldest establishments
stupid local news always making
everything sound like the end of the
world Springfield's bolama is closing
forever no why does every place nobody
goes to any more
[Music]
close farewell work out of the working
man the Thunder of the pins the sweet
smell of shoe disinfectant the beauty of
a perfectly dragged toe that alley was
magical it's where I was initiated into
one of the greatest wonders of my
life hey little squirt you want to try
these new things called nachos oh big
deal it's just a stack of tortilla chips
is
it I've licked the face of
[Music]
[Applause]
God
yummy wait wait wait was that your
Daydream or Little Homes it doesn't
matter we can't let that alley go out of
business we'll go there Park our butts
on the manager's face and never ever
leave yeah that bear is the
best wait wait wait wait if you do that
then I'll go out of
business this place is depressing H what
the
hell wait for
me hey look don't blame me the lanes are
so warped people just don't want a bowl
anymore so I'm selling out relax people
I bought the alley because I love the
Retro Vibe did you know John Waters
wears bowling shirts yes I'm going to
turn this amazing space into the bolama
at Springfield yards you'll be able to
live work Doom scroll Cat Cafe and bowl
no no bowling hey pal if you don't like
bowling you don't like me I don't like
you fair enough Terren give us one week
to make this Ali A going concern you'll
have more Bowlers than a hat shop we'll
prove you wrong can't you just prove me
wrong now I hate waiting for anything
one week well I I hate waiting but I
love being proved wrong you're
on we're here for the uh night of
everlasting bull
mates uh maybe we'll just skip the
bowling like hell you
will I'm here for my birthday party
which you said would be at the laser tag
and crocodile Ranch how old is this
place the soda machine doesn't even take
phones I'll have you know this place is
endorsed by a group that's popular with
today's kids ZZ
Top how many of these lob beardos are
still alive all of them I think oh boy
oh attendance is barely up and the fire
department won't even let me lock people
in let us out please
never oh right come on Marge help me out
Let's Bowl the night away I don't bowl
Homer it's your thing please I just want
one thing in this world to be like it
was when I drive down crypto.com
Boulevard I can barely remember which
cannabis dispensaries used to be
internet cafes I don't want to bowl
March are you concealing a secret about
bowling bowling and Life begin in the
hips oh
[Music]
oh
wooo there's something I never told you
about my past the past the past is past
do you want to know every little mistake
I've made sort of let's go
bowling now the ball might seem a little
greasy make sure you don't drop it on
your foot put it in your language it's
like rolling a Maggie
strike you got a strike pretend you're
hurling a roast into an oven 60 feet
away are you going to listen to me or
are you going to Bone watch out penss
here comes
[Music]
Mama a baby split with company I got
this WOW Homer your wife bowls like a
60-year-old Teamster thank you
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
I really need to get back in water M can
we have Bronto burgers tonight oh you're
not Fred
Flintstone
yeah somebody get Mama be
here he's in that world more than he is
with
[Music]
us Omie are you upset that I'm good at
your thing no Marge I am in awe you have
a gift I could no more be mad at you
than at an angel playing horseshoes
you're a butterfly that can kick field
goals how in God's name did you get so
perfect
[Music]
attention I have an offer to make and
like everything hipsters do it requires
everyone's attention hey you you're not
looking at me sorry those pearls that
hair the game of the 30s played by a
Dame from the 50s it's retro on kit to
the power of
vintage oh here's the pitch Marge you
bowl one game against the Challenger of
my choice win and the out stays open
lose and I turn it into a coffee shop so
expensive your eyes will bleed deal deal
you're going down Terrence in your
face sorry I I shouldn't have done that
if there's any damage here's a Best Buy
gift
card ah Springfield's a greatest bowling
Mama be she's happy bringing the
meatball a picture for Luigi is a wall
of
fame now chop it up it's today's a
special tomorrow into the soup then it
goes to the dogs then back into the
soap what you doing Angel planning for
the
[Music]
match I can't believe you've never taken
a single
lesson m
a oh this is so great you're saving the
town I'm sleeping with the woman who's
saving the town oh okay okay fine I'll
Bowl the match no matter what the danger
is to our marriage that's my girl sleep
well lady of the lane now I have some
mental work to do of my
[Music]
own pizza taste as good off the ceiling
as it does off the
[Music]
[Music]
floor we did to that ball what we did to
Hitler's bombs that out of the way
what's going on Mom's Got The Yips how
do you know there's something in me that
senses when trouble is brewing it's a
sign of early Neurosis but it's
irrelevant that my feelings are always
accurate and I've got to remember
that Marge you need confidence this
calls for the most exclusive level of
therapist there is a professional
bowling
instructor and no M oh God oh God please
be another
fantasy sh sh sho Sho stop with the shoe
it is high in the flesh you like the way
I just said that word flesh I can make
anything sound erotic garbage disposal
toilet plunger lollipop enough with the
words what are you doing here I brought
him H do you know who he is I sure do
he's the best darn bowling instructor in
the city I'm not sure I'm comfortable
with a French bowling instructor om may
I speak to your wife please alone hey I
don't need to know how the sausage is
made just start grinding going to
Mo don't worry Marge my interest in you
is purely professional why are you in my
ear would you rather I be in your nose I
don't think so quite frankly Mar I'm
hard of speaking how can I believe your
interest in me is just professional if I
am lying may I never taste cheese again
wow wow see you tomorrow at 10 and what
if you show up and I'm not there then a
good and decent man who loves you will
suffer horribly I mean of course hom you
mean Homer that's what I said hom he
needs you to win now more than ever and
don't worry we will not have enough fa
Fair because fair is fair and I love
your hair and now I'm off in my
cor I don't have a COR horrible car it
was the only one I could think of to
rhyme stupid oh you're still here great
teacher don't wait up imagine you are
Waltzing with the
bow what kind of bowling instructor
wears a turtleneck I don't say mark my
words often but mark my words he's up to
no good mark my words what you're crazy
I'm getting six
beers so should I start my slide earlier
a better question is what are you still
doing with him clearly he must have
changed his ways huh improved lost a
pound or 20 yes he has in too many ways
to mention so I won't so then he's not
still buying you bowling balls for
presents is he he apologized for that do
you have think of the night you almost
came to me I had showered four times I
shaved my face twice I shaved my back
once I was ready for your March later on
in the evening when the doorbell rang I
closed my eyes I opened the door and I
kissed unfortunately I forgot I had
ordered takeout it was some 20-year-old
kid holding a rose beef sandwich
apparently he came out the next day you
said just bow
it I am the only one who can help you
with this match and if there's anything
a Frenchman wants more than a beautiful
woman it is to beat Americans at the
game they love and then of course a 12
course meal with a fine wine and maybe a
snail and somebody else at the table to
pick up the check are we going to talk
or are we going to bowl fine come bowl
with me let's Bowl the night
away and if you like we'll make a strike
in a platonic way
are you worried yet oh I'd be worried if
I didn't know for a fact that no man has
ever lost a woman to a professional
bowler
ever
uhoh now your power comes from your
shoulders which I notice in your case
are always bare let me massage them
don't worry it's strictly professional
there we go here we go let me just ah
yes
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