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Now, when I call your name,
you will come forth,
I shall place the Sorting Hat
on your head,
and you will be Sorted
into your houses.
Hermione Granger.
Oh, no.
Okay, relax.
Mental, that one.
I'm telling you.
Ah...
Right, then.
Hmm.
Right!
Okay.
Gryffindor!
Well done.
Draco Malfoy.
Slytherin!
There's not a witch or wizard
who went bad
who wasn't in Slytherin.
Susan Bones.
Ah!
Harry, what is it?
[Harry] Nothing.
[Sorting Hat] Where shall I put you?
Nothing, I'm fine.
[Sorting Hat] Let's see.
I know...
Hufflepuff!
Ronald Weasley.
Ha!
Another Weasley?
I know just what to do with you.
Gryffindor!
Harry Potter.
Hmm...
Difficult.
Very difficult.
Plenty of courage, I see.
Not a bad mind, either.
There's talent.
Oh, yes.
And a thirst
to prove yourself.
But where to put you?
Not Slytherin.
Not Slytherin.
"Not Slytherin," eh?
Are you sure?
You could be great, you know?
It's all here in your head.
And Slytherin will help you
on the way to greatness!
There's no doubt about that.
No?
No, please.
[Sorting Hat] Well, if you're sure,
[Harry] Anything but Slytherin.
better be...
Gryffindor!
Eye of rabbit, harp string hum,
turn this water into rum.
Eye of rabbit, harp string hum...
What's Seamus trying to do
to that glass of water?
Turn it to rum.
Actually managed a weak tea yesterday,
before he...
Ah, mail's here!
Where's Hermione?
Parvati Patil said that she
wouldn't come out of the girls' bathroom
She said that she'd been in there all afternoon
crying.
Troll in the dungeon!
Troll in the dungeon!
Thought you ought to know.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Silence!
Everyone will, please,
not panic.
Bit early for mail, isn't it?
But I—
I never get mail.
Let's open it.
It's a broomstick.
That's not just a broomstick, Harry.
It's a Nimbus 2000!
But who?
Knight to E5.
Queen to E5.
That's totally barbaric.
That's wizard chess.
I see you've packed.
See you haven't.
Change of plans.
My parents decided to go to Romania
to visit my brother, Charlie.
He's studying dragons there.
Good, you can help Harry then.
He's going to go and look in the library
for information on Nicolas Flamel.
We've looked a hundred times.
Not in the Restricted Section.
Happy Christmas.
I think we've had a bad influence on her.
To Miss Hermione Granger
for the cool use of intellect
while others were in grave peril.
50 points.
Good job.
Second
to Mr Ronald Weasley
for the best played game of chess
that Hogwarts has seen these many years.
50 points.
And third
to Mr Harry Potter
for pure love and outstanding courage.
I award Gryffindor house,
60 points.
We're tied with Slytherin.
And finally,
it takes a great deal of bravery
to stand up to your enemies.
But a great deal more
to stand up to your friends.
I award ten points
to Neville Longbottom.
Assuming that my calculations are correct,
I believe
that a change of decoration is in order.
Gryffindor wins the House Cup.
Yes!
Bloody bird's a menace.
Oh, no.
Look, everyone.
Weasley's got himself a Howler.
Go on, Ron.
I ignored one from my gran once.
It was horrible.
[Howler] Ronald Weasley!
How dare you steal that car?
I am absolutely disgusted!
Your father's now facing an inquiry at work!
And it's entirely your fault!
If you put another toe out of line,
we'll bring you straight home!
Oh, and Ginny, dear.
Congratulations on making Gryffindor.
Your father and I are so proud.
Sorry I'm late.
The owl that delivered my release papers
got all lost and confused.
Some ruddy bird called Errol.
I'd just like to say that,
if it hadn't been for you, Harry and Ron,
and Hermione, of course,
I would, uh...
I'd still be you-know-where,
so, I'd just like to say,
thanks.
There's no Hogwarts without you, Hagrid.
Woo!
Yeah!
Put it in!
Eternal glory.
Be brilliant, wouldn't it?
Three years from now,
when we're old enough to be chosen.
Yeah, rather you than me.
Yes!
Thank you, thank you.
Well, lads, we've done it.
Cooked it up just this morning.
It's not going to work.
Oh, yeah?
And why is that, Granger?
You see this?
This is an Age Line.
Dumbledore drew it himself.
So?
So,
a genius like Dumbledore couldn't
possibly be fooled by
a dodge as pathetically dim-witted
as an Ageing Potion.
Ah, but that's why it's so brilliant.
'Cause it's so pathetically dim-witted.
Ready, Fred?
Ready, George.
Bottoms up.
Yes!
Yeah!
Yes!
Ready?
Yes!
Ah!
[Both] Hi, Harry.
Cho, Harry's looking at you.
Shush.
[Hermione] Look at this!
I can't believe it, she's done it again.
"Miss Granger, a plain but ambitious girl,
seems to be developing a taste
for famous wizards.
Her latest prey, sources report,
is none other than the Bulgarian bonbon, Viktor Krum.
No word yet on how Harry Potter's
taking his latest emotional blow."
Parcel for you, Mr Weasley.
Ah, thank you, Nigel.
Not—
Not now, Nigel.
Later.
Go on.
I— I told him I'd get him Harry's autograph.
Oh, look. Mum's sent me something.
Mum sent me a dress.
Well, it does match your eyes.
Is there a bonnet?
Aha!
Nose down, Harry.
Ginny, these must be for you.
I'm not wearing that.
It's ghastly.
What are you on about?
They're not for Ginny.
They're for you!
Dress robes.
Dress robes?
For what?
Is that Hermione Granger?
With Viktor Krum?
No.
Absolutely not.
Hi!
Harry, take my waist.
What?
Now.
Are you ready?
♫ Move your body like a hairy troll
learning to rock and roll.
Spin around like a crazy elf
dancin' by himself.
Boogie down like a unicorn.
No stoppin' till the break of dawn.
Put your hands up in the air.
Like an ogre, who just don't care
Oh! Can you dance like a Hippogriff?
Na, na, na. Na, na, na. Na, na, na. ♫
Ruddy pumpkin head, isn't he?
♫ Flyin' off from a cliff
Na, na, na. Na, na, na. Na, na, na. ♫
I don't think it was the books
that had him going to the library.
May I have your arm?
Arm? Leg?
I'm yours.
Now, we have two changes in staffing this year.
We're pleased to welcome back, Professor Grubbly-Plank,
who will be taking care of Magical Creatures
while Professor Hagrid is on temporary leave.
We also wish to welcome
our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher,
Professor Dolores Umbridge.
And I'm sure you'll all join me
in wishing the professor, "Good luck."
Now, as usual, our caretaker, Mr Filch,
has asked me to remind you—
She was at my hearing.
She works for Fudge.
Thank you, Headmaster,
for those kind words of welcome.
And how lovely to see all your bright, happy faces
smiling up at me.
I'm sure we're all going to be
very good friends.
[Both] That's likely.
The Ministry of Magic
has always considered the education
of young witches and wizards
to be of vital importance.
Although each headmaster
has brought something new
to this historic school,
progress for the sake of progress
must be discouraged.
Let us preserve
what must be preserved,
perfect what can be perfected,
and prune practices
that ought to be prohibited.
Do you ever stop eating?
I'm hungry.
Harry.
Can I join you?
Wahey!
Here you go!
Ready when you are.
Woo!
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