L's Theme B
By
Hideki Taniuchi
Album
Death Note
Viewed
91,089
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“The following is a non-profit, fan-based
parody. Please support the official release.”
Gosh, things sure are boring around here.
God, shit sure is boring around here.
Being a top ranked student in Japan can be really
exhausting. It sure would be neat if some life
changing event would swoop down from the sky
and make my life a little more interesting.
I’m gonna go for a walk.
Maybe I should get a hobby…
Hmm…
Maybe cleaning up litter?
Oh, it’s a notebook!
“Death Note?” (Pronounced "Deeth")
Hm...
Must be someone’s diary. I
don’t know any "Deaths", but
I’m sure whoever they are, they
must be sick over losing this!
Should I look inside..?
No!
That would be a breach of
privacy! And I’m better than that!
Good job Light! You did a good thing today!
Hello, sweetie! How was school?
It was okay. I did a good thing today!
That’s so nice to hear, sweetie!
Did you write it down for me?
Yep! I wrote it on the way
here, I was so excited!
You found someone’s journal
and are going to return it?
*And* you didn’t look inside
it? That’s amazing, honey!
This is going on the fridge right next to when
you pulled those puppies out of the burning well.
Thanks, Mom! I’m going to head upstairs
now and relax. Today was a big day for me!
You do that, Light. Oh, and
remember, no T.V. past 9!
Yep!
I hope this "Death" person is
doing okay without their journal.
*Gasp*
How will they keep track of
the days without filling it in?
Oh no…
They’re going to forget about so many days of
their life if I don’t return this to them soon!
Breaking news! A man has barricaded himself
inside of a local school with several hostages
and is believed to have a weapon. Reports
say he is upset because he was criticized
for not looking enough like an “Androgynous,
Anime Pretty-Boy” to be at all memorable.
(Muffled) Why won’t you notice me, Senpai???
It’s quite pathetic, honestly.
Oh my goodness, those poor people! I wish
there was something I could do to help!
Wait…
(Sinister Chuckles)
I’ll record this event in the journal,
that way I can keep Deeth up to date on
what’s happened since they dropped it!
Now to just open up to an empty
page so I don’t accidentally snoop.
"Dear Death. Hello, I found your journal! I’m
so sorry that you dropped it, but fortunately
I’ve been keeping it nice and safe for you.
You may be concerned that I was snooping
through the previous pages.. But don’t worry,
I’m a good boy! And I wouldn’t do anything so
EVIL.
The day is October 3rd and
it’s a day I won’t forget,
because today is the day *Kuro Otoharaga*
held a bunch of people hostage!
As of writing this, he still hasn’t let them go,
but I’m sure with some kind words
everything can be settled peacefully.
(T.V.) "Well I believe he's just misunderstood..."
That’s all I have to say for now. I’ll
update you on the situation tomorrow!
Bye, bye!"
Boy I sure had a busy day. And writing
in that journal was a lot of fun!
Hey… I know!
My new hobby should be keeping a journal!
Yeah! First thing in the morning I’m going to
go out and buy myself my very own diary and
write about my friends and all the new people
I’m lucky enough to meet every single day!
Even more breaking news! Kuro Otoharaga has
just fallen to the floor and isn’t moving!
It is confirmed that he is dead.
Light:
Oh no! What an unfortunate loss of life!
Good riddance.
What a tragedy. No one deserves to die
so suddenly without anyone to mourn them.
Even the guilty ones. May you
rest in peace Mr. Otoharaga…
Hey, baby boy.
*Screams*
Christ, I scared the jacket back on you-
*Screams*
Shut up.
*Stops screaming*
Be not afraid, little man.
That book there. You treating it well?
Wait, are you "Death"?
What?
Well, Mr. "Death-" Oh I’m
sorry, do you go by he/him?
I go by "Ryuk".
Neo-pronouns, you love to
see it! Well Ryuk "Death" I-
Okay I’m putting a stop to this right now before
it gets out of hand, kid. My name is Ryuk. That’s
what you call me. For whatever pronouns are… I
don’t know, just go with what you said. Alright?
Now let’s take it from the top.
*clears throat* Hey, baby boy-
*Screams*
*Stops Screaming*
Jesus, humans are fucking dumb. I don’t
know why I was ever interested in them.
Hand over the book, I’m taking it back.
No way! This journal belongs to a person
named "Death" and it’s my responsibility
to make sure it gets back into
the hands of its rightful owner!
It does not belong to some fake
person named “Deeth” it belongs to me.
“Deeth” is pronounced “Death” you clod.
Oh…
Yeah...
I take it you must not have
understood the rules either
if 5 letters were giving you that much trouble.
Rules? I’m sorry Mister, but I would
never read someone else’s diary.
You didn’t read the rules..?
The only rule I live by is The Golden Rule,
and that’s to treat others the way you want
to be treated! If it were me who lost my diary,
I wouldn’t want some stranger looking through it!
"Hmm… This might be interesting."
Did you write anything yet?
Well… I did just write about Mr. Otoharaga…
But only so the owner wouldn’t miss out on
the journaling they couldn’t do without it!
I figured I’d do good and fill it in
for them. Which is you, I suppose…
Yeah, you did good alright. Looks like you
cleaned the streets of another criminal.
Wha- Do you mean Mr. Otoharaga? He died
of natural causes as far as we’re aware!
Oh no, boyo.
I’m afraid that was all your handy work.
For the number one student in
Japan, you sure are dumb for not
looking into the implications of
a mysterious, black, death book.
*Chuckles*
Oh, I get it!
You’re testing me!
What..?
Yeah, you can’t fool me! You act all scary with
your weird proportions and
your “be not afraid” talk-
Weird proportions?
-but you’re actually testing me
to see if I will give into evil
by convincing me I’m a murderer!
Well it won’t work on me, buster!
No, kid-
I’ve got you all figured out, pal.
You’re no evil spirit,
you’re my Guardian Angel!
Light, honey! You’re making an
awful lot of noise in there...
Have you been watching the naughty channel again?
Hi, mom. I was actually just talking to my
guardian angel, and he’s being a real jerk!
Oh you finally met your angel!
I remember when I first met mine. They
gave me a journal to write in every day!
So did mine!
Well you two have fun, sweetie, and make sure
you write everything down in that journal!
I will, mom! Love you, bye!
That was my mommy.
I can’t believe I’ve been demoted
from god-to-angel by these monkeys.
That’s not even just a demotion,
I’ve changed teams entirely.
Oh don’t be so pessimistic. You and I’ll
have a ton of fun fighting crime together!
Like Batman and Robin!
Or Batman and Robin!
Or Batman and his 3rd Robin!
Or Batman and-
That’s enough of that.
Batgirl…
We won’t be fighting any crime. In fact,
as of today, you’re already a villain.
That notebook there is a dangerous
weapon that can kill thousands in a day,
just by writing a single name.
What, this thing?
Pshaw!
It’s just a pile of paper,
there’s nothing special about it.
You saw for yourself already. 40 seconds
after you wrote that man’s name down,
he died painfully of a heart attack.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay then, just to show you how silly you’re
being I’ll write my own name in the notebook.
Wait no, that’s a bad idea-
Light~
There!
Done.
*Heart Monitor Beeps*
*Heart Monitor Flatlines*
See? I’m still here. Nothing to worry about!
Huh. That’s weird, it should have worked…
I’ll have to set that straight at some point.
So Mr. Ryuk, what should I do now
that you’re here? After all you’re
my guardian angel so you must be here
to guide me on my journey through life!
Something like that… Uhh, how about
you just keep that notebook and start
journaling like you were talking about.
I feel that may cause the most problems.
What was that?
Nothing.
Oh boy, I can’t believe my wish came
true! This is going to be the best, ever!
This is the worst, ever!
People keep dying for no reason
and protests are popping up all
over the world ‘cause the police are too
inept to actually investigate anything.
We need to find some way to get everyone
off our backs without actually helping!
Let’s blame it on a virus!
Genius! That should keep people from forming
public gatherings and buy
us at least two more years.
Johnson! Fetch a random vial from
the Emergency Contaminate Chamber,
we have an apocalypse to start!
No.
I believe I can help with this.
Hey Mr. Yagami, who is that?
