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All right, y'all have heard
from your secretary candidates,
your treasurer candidates,
your vice presidents...
It's time for the big finale,
the closing event,
the headliners...
Nell Cavanaugh
and Sheldon Cooper.
One of these two will be
president of your class,
so listen to what they've got
to say and choose wisely,
which will be a whole new
experience for most of you.
Remember, heckling
will get you detention.
STUDENT:
Bite me!
(laughter)
Bryan Larkin, two days!
You want to try for a week?
I didn't think so.
Nell, floor is yours.
(cheering and applause)
STUDENTS:
Nell!
(whooping)
Thank you, Ms. MacElroy,
Principal Petersen,
our hard-working teachers,
and my fellow students.
I'm blessed to call
so many of you friends.
Y'all probably know everything
about me already.
Lord knows I love to talk.
(laughs)
(laughter)
So instead of going on
about myself,
I'd like to talk to you
about my opponent.
Sheldon Cooper has been lobbying
for new science equipment here
at Medford High,
and while that sounds wonderful,
the truth is,
he thinks our school wastes
its money on football.
(students booing)
Do we really want
a class president
who doesn't care about football?
STUDENTS:
No!
I know I am proud to be
a Medford High cheerleader,
and I love football!
(cheering and applause)
But you know the one thing
I love more than football?
God.
(students affirming)
(applause)
Let me tell you
another interesting fact
about my opponent.
Did you know that Sheldon Cooper
is an atheist?
(students gasping)
That's right.
He doesn't believe in God.
Just keep that in mind
when you cast your vote today.
I'm Nell Cavanaugh.
Go Wolves!
(cheering and applause)
And now, please welcome
Sheldon Cooper.
♪ ♪
(whispering):
No one would fault you
if you ran out the back door.
♪ ♪
(quietly):
Nell Cavanaugh is... a Yankee.
(gasping)
She may love football
and she may love God,
but she was born in Scarsdale.
That's in New York.
(gasping, booing)
There's more.
My opponent didn't move to Texas
until she was seven years old.
In fact, in her bedroom
there's a pennant
for the New York Yankees.
(students jeering)
While I may not be a fan
of organized religion or sports,
I promise, if you vote for me,
I'll do my best
to get new science equipment
for our school.
Uh...
Don't mess with Texas!
(cheering and applause)
(chanting):
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
Sheldon!
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
Sheldon! Sheldon!
(whooping, whistling)
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