By
Viewed
386,404
Please choose the correct answer for each question below:
Questions: 0/630
Correct: 0
Translate:
Hey, Ra. Come on. You're going to be
late for the eye doctor appointment.
>> All right, let's get this over with.
Oh, no. Look what I did.
I mean, look at this mess. I mean, we're
going to probably have to clean this up,
you know? I mean, we're going to have to
reschedu.
>> If you thought that this mess was going
to bother me, you are wrong. All right,
let's go. Blinky quick.
>> This is never going to work. He's right
there. So, just go over and say hi. No,
I have to go downstairs. Come back up as
if I'm coming home from the riata
gallon. Okay, so just go distract him.
But don't be sexy.
>> Hey, Danny.
>> Hey.
>> Hey.
>> What's going on? That's a great party.
Great food.
>> You know, most parties it's it's all
chips and salsa. Chips and salsa.
>> So, uh,
>> what's this?
>> Salad.
>> And And what's this?
>> Bread.
Aren't you chef?
Hey, Rachel.
>> Hey. All right. Tonight with your party.
>> Ah, you look great. I'm glad you can
make it.
>> Oh, yeah. Well, you know, the gala had
to end sometime.
>> Don't go anywhere. Be right back.
>> Yeah, sure.
>> All right. Whose courts the ball in now?
>> I thought there wasn't a ball.
>> Come on. He's glad that I came. and he
doesn't want me to go anywhere. Bones
flying all over the place.
>> Rachel, this is my friend Tom. This is
the girl I told you about.
>> Oh, come on. You telling people about
me.
>> You two could really hit it off.
>> I'm going to go mingle.
>> So, you work at Bloomingdales, huh? My
mom calls it Bloomies.
>> Hey, you guys. Hey. Uh, is Monica here?
>> No.
>> No.
>> All right. Listen. Um, I just bought
something. I'm not sure she's going to
like it, and it's going to seem a little
crazy, but this is something I've wanted
since I was a little girl.
>> You bought Sean Cassidy?
>> No. I wish. Okay. You ready?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Okay.
Should I get out?
>> Oh my god. What? What is
>> What the hell is that?
It's It's a cat.
>> That is not a cat.
>> Yes, it is.
>> Why is it inside out?
>> Excuse me, but this is a purebred show
quality sphinx cat.
>> How much did you pay for that?
>> Well, it was a little extravagant, but I
got a pretty good deal.
>> Yeah. How much? thousand bucks
>> on a cat.
>> It's not a cat.
>> All right, listen ball boys. My
grandmother had one of these when I was
a little girl and it was the sweetest
thing. I mean, it was so cute. It would
sit in my lap and just purr all day long
and I would drag a shoestring on the
ground and it would chase it.
>> Free cats do that, too. You know,
>> it's not a cat.
>> Look, you guys, I'm really excited about
this, okay? Hey, I don't care what you
think. I'm going to go set up a little
litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson.
>> What am I going to call her? Fluffy.
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
>> Don't worry, guys. It's not a cat.
>> Oh my Oh, good god. I give up, you guys.
I don't know what I'm going to do with
this thing.
>> Baking it didn't help. Huh?
So, why don't you just take it back to
where you got it? I tried. They won't
take her back.
>> Maybe that's because she's a minion of
the Antichrist.
>> Wait, why won't they take it back?
>> Well, they said they would, but they
would only give me store credit. And I
mean, what am I going to do? Get a
thousand regular cats?
>> Look, if you want, you can keep it at
our place until you find out what to do
with it.
>> No, Mom, that's not the point. I'm out
$1,000. I'm all scratched up and I'm
stuck with this stupid cat that looks
like a hand.
[Music]
Showcat quality showcat.
Showcat. Oh my god. What's wrong with
your baby?
>> It's not a baby. That's a cat. E, it's
creepy looking.
>> Oh no. No. It's actually It's very
sweet. It's very sweet. Look.
Yeah. You want it?
>> No. I hate cats.
>> Well, so then what are you doing to me?
Okay, just get out of here. All right,
move on.
>> Jeez. Wow, what an unusual cat.
>> Yes, thank you. Exactly. You want it?
>> Maybe. I was thinking about getting a
cat. I was just going to go to the
shelter, but Okay, why not?
>> Oh, terrific. That'll be $2,000.
>> What? Okay. A thousand.
>> I thought you wanted me to adopt your
cat.
>> Well, I do, but you're just going to
have to actually look at this as more of
an investment than a cat.
>> Okay. Yeah. I just wanted a cat.
>> Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Obviously, you know how to haggle. So,
I'm not going to try and take you on.
Okay. So, $800. And I don't call the
cops, which I should because you are
robbing me. Blind. Blind. You act. Take
the cat, leave the money, and run away.
Just run away. Damn it.
Can't you at least smile or something?
>> Okay. Did anybody just hear that?
Anybody?
[Music]
>> Rachel, what is your cat doing in one of
my bowls?
>> It's not. I'm defrosting a chicken.
>> Oh, I sold uh Mrs. Whiskerson.
>> Oh, thank God. Did you get your money
back?
>> Yeah. $1,500. Wow. You made a profit.
[Laughter]
I just came for the red velvet pillow.
>> Oh, yeah.
There you go.
>> Thanks, Rachel.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. And uh don't forget you you can
come visit her anytime you want.
>> Oh, good. Great. I I'll keep that in
mind.
>> Hey, so what is this? Some kind of snake
or something?
>> I guess we should go.
>> No, wait. Wait. Oh, you're right.
No, Monica.
Monica, we have to fix this. There's
nothing we can do. You erase the
message. Yeah, well, unless we tell him.
Look, if you're going to be totally
rational about this, I can't argue with
you. All right,
fine. If you want to tell him, tell him.
I I just I don't want to be a part of
it.
>> Oh, maybe that's Emily calling back to
leave the exact same message.
>> Hey, Ross, it's you. I just want you to
remember this feeling. You are lucky to
be alive, so live every day to the
fullest. Love yourself. Okay. Okay. I'd
also get stamps. Bye.
>> Wow. Leave that message for Emily and
this whole problem goes away.
>> Embarrassed that easily.
>> What? You totally get embarrassed?
>> No, I don't, Ross. I I think I'm just a
more secure person than you are.
>> Is that so? Yeah.
>> Hey lady, I don't care how much you want
it, okay? I am not going to have sex
with you in the bathroom.
>> I'm on my way back to the bathroom.
All right. All right. Just keep walking.
All right.
Wash, what are you? I'm sorry, sir. I
just I think he just really likes you.
[Music]
>> Hey, you know that teacher who had a
baby with her student?
[Music]
Hi. Can I help you?
>> Yes. I'm sorry, miss. Do you have any
extra pants? Uh, my friend seems to have
had a little accident.
>> Oh my god. What does that thing do?
>> Uh, that's an eye removal machine.
>> All right, I'm out of
>> Hi, Rachel. I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told
me you were a little nervous, but don't
worry. Everything's going to be just
fine.
>> So, we're done then.
>> Almost. But first, we got to start.
>> Okay.
>> This is a glaucoma test.
>> Uh-huh.
>> Sit down.
>> Okay.
>> Put your chin here.
>> Mhm.
>> Now, you're going to feel a small puff
of air in each eye.
>> What? What?
A small puff of air. Now, come on.
>> Here we go.
>> All right.
>> One, two, three.
>> Okay.
I'm sorry. All right. I'm going to stay
in here this time. Okay.
>> Ready?
>> Uhhuh.
>> One, two.
>> I'm sorry. You know what? I'm going to
hold her head. Okay.
>> That's okay.
>> Okay. Okay. Okay.
>> One.
>> Uh-huh.
>> Two.
>> I'm sorry.
>> You know what? You're young. You
probably don't have glaucoma.
>> Okay.
>> Okay. So, it was very, very nice to meet
you, sir. And I'm Hey, what are you? Are
you crazy?
>> Okay, I got a small minor infection in
that left eye. I want you to take these
drops three times a day for a week and
you'll be as good as new.
>> Yeah. No, I I don't I don't put things
in my eye.
>> Okay, then I guess we'll see you back
here in 3 months.
>> Great.
>> I'll fit you for a glass eye.
>> Okay, just give me the damn drops.
>> Dr. Miller.
P E CF D.
Very good, Monica.
>> You know where they are.
>> I sure do.
>> And you don't get one.
>> Okay.
>> Not even close.
>> Okay. Well, then you know what? Help me.
I need help. I can't do this.
>> All right. Come on. Let's do it.
>> Come on. All right.
>> Sit down.
>> All right.
>> All right. Put your head back. Yes.
>> All right.
>> Okay.
>> Now, open your eyes.
>> Okay. They are.
>> How many fingers am I holding up?
>> Four.
>> Oh my god. I was thinking four.
>> Really?
>> Yes.
>> All right. You know what? Why don't we
start with a practice one? Okay.
>> Okay.
>> No drops.
>> Great.
>> Okay.
>> Okay.
>> All right. On three. One, two, three.
>> My pillow's all wet.
>> Well, well, you said it was practice.
Then why did you move?
>> Because I knew you were lying.
>> All right, come here. What are you
doing? Monica, get Stop it.
>> Oh my gosh.
>> Stop it.
>> I am going I'm turn it over. I'm I going
and get
these in your eyes.
>> Oh my god, you really are freakishly
strong.
Oh my god.
Damn, it's empty.
>> Well, you know, if Joey and Chandler
walked in right now, we could make a
fortune.
>> Can you place a TV guide?
>> Yeah.
>> Go.
>> Oh my god.
>> Hold it open.
>> Okay.
>> We'll see you in about three or four
hours.
are gathered to celebrate here today the
joyous union of Ross and Emily. Now
Ross, repeat after me. I Ross, I Ross
take thee, Emily. Take thee, Rachel.
Emily.
Emily,
>> shall I go on?
>> He He said Rachel, right? Do you think I
should go up there?
>> Yes. Yes, do go on.
>> I think we better start again.
>> Yes. Ross. Repeat after me. I, Ross.
>> I, Ross.
>> Take the Emily.
Take the Emily.
Not like there'd be anybody else.
>> As my lawfully wedded wife in sickness
and in health till death parts us.
>> As my lawfully weded wife in sickness
and in health until death parts us.
Really? I do. Emily,
you have the rings.
Emily, place this ring on Ross' finger
as a symbol of your bond. Everlasting
Ross, place this ring in Emily's hand as
a symbol of the love that encircles you
forever. Happy to.
Ross and Emily have made their
declaration, and it gives me great
pleasure to declare them husband and
wife.
You may kiss the bride.
This is worse than when he married the
lesbian.
[Music]
>> Just keep smiling.
>> Okay.
>> Well, that went well. Yeah.
>> Could have been worse. He could have
shot her.
That uh that was pretty funny, wasn't
it?
>> Sisters were really remarkable women for
their time. They lived in a patriarchal
society.
>> Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
>> Okay.
So, what is the book about? I thought
you said you read it in high school.
>> Well, yeah, but then I remembered I
started it and then there was this pep
rally and I was I was on top of the
pyramid. But anyway, um what's the book
about?
>> Okay, it's this tragic love story
between Kathy and Heathcliffe and um it
takes place on these like really creepy
moors in England which I think represent
the wildness of Heath Cliff's character.
I totally get symbolism.
>> How would you characterize the theme of
this book? Uh let's see. Rachel Green.
Um, well, I would have to say that it's
a it's a tragic love story.
>> Well, that's sort of a given, but yes.
Anyone else?
>> Oh. Oh. Oh. Symbolism
>> and uh the the uh wildness of the moors,
which I think is is mirrored in the
wildness of uh Heath Cliff's character.
>> Excellent. what Rachel has shrewdly
observed here.
>> You completely stole my answer. What?
Honey, that was pretty obvious. How
would you know? You didn't even read it.
>> What do you think? Uh, you and the blue
shirt.
>> I think that um yours is a question with
many possible answers.
>> Would you care to venture one?
>> Would you care to venture one?
Are
>> are you just repeating what I'm saying?
>> Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
>> Didn't you say that there was um an
elevator in here?
>> Uh yes, I did, but there isn't. Okay,
here we go.
>> Okay, go left. Left. Left.
>> You know what? There's no more left.
Left.
>> Okay. You know, uh lift it straight up
over your head. Straight up over your
head. You can do it. You can do it.
Okay,
>> you got it.
>> Yeah. Good, good, good.
>> Okay, you got it, right? You got it,
right? You got it.
>> Any chance you think the couch looks
good there?
>> Be back by now?
>> Yeah, but her plane got delayed in
Athens. But actually, she should be here
by now.
>> Oh, so you talked to her. Did she Did
she sound mad?
>> No, but she likes me.
You abandoned her on a plane to Greece.
>> Okay. I did not abandon Rachel. Okay,
Emily showed up at the airport. I had to
go after her. I mean, I I did what I had
to do. She's my wife. Rachel is my wife,
you know. Emily
Emily is my wife,
man. What is that?
>> So, you still haven't heard from Emily?
>> No, not since I lost her at the airport.
>> I can't believe she can outrun you, man.
>> Hey, she's fast. Okay,
you think you can beat me? Let's go
outside.
>> Hi, Rachel.
>> Rich. Rich, I am so sorry. I am so so
sorry.
>> Oh, Ross, come on. You just did what you
had to do.
>> Well, that's it. You're not mad? I mean,
it must have been terrible.
>> Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece. I was a
nice hotel, nice beach, met the nice
people. It's not too shabby for Rachel.
>> So, what? That's it?
>> Oh, yeah. We're cool. Totally cool.
>> Thanks. Right. You're the best.
>> Oh, no. You're the best.
>> Oh, I got to go to the flower store.
Check it out. No one will tell me where
Emily is. So, I'm gonna send 72 long
stemmed red roses to her parents' house.
One for each day that I've known and
loved her. That ought to get her talking
to me again.
>> Oh, Ross, when you make out the card, be
sure to make it out to Emily.
>> That's great. It's so good that you had
such a good time in Greece.
>> What?
I didn't have a good time in Greece.
Ross abandoned me, okay? I couldn't get
a plane out, so I had to stay in their
honeymoon suite with people coming up to
me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Keller,
why are you crying?"
I mean, it was so humiliating. I felt
like such an idiot. I mean, it's all my
fault. And you know why? Because I make
very bad decisions.
>> Oh, that's not true.
>> Yes, it is. It is true. I went I went
after Ross and stupid London. London is
stupid. Stupid.
>> Phoebe, you were right. I should have
never gone to London. And from now on,
you make all of my decisions for me.
>> Oh, no. I did that for someone once. I'm
I'm not comfortable having that kind of
power and control over someone's life.
>> I'll do it.
>> That's fine. So, Monica, you are now in
charge of my love life.
>> I think the check-in is that way. Ah.
[Applause]
>> Oh, kids love me.
>> Hey,
you're here.
>> Why don't you go to a costume party?
>> Let me guess. Um, Ponchovilla
and your Bob Saget.
>> Ponchovilla. Yeah. What?
>> What are you talking about, Fe? I don't.
>> Oh my god, you drew on me.
>> Hey, you wet my pants.
>> Oh, what kind of party was this?
>> I've been walking around like this since
the plane. I You have so crossed a line.
>> Ra, wait. The men's room is that way.
>> Hi. I need those earrings you borrowed.
Oh. Um, okay. Yeah, I'll be I'll be
right back.
>> Okay.
>> Wow. Fees, you speak Italian,
>> I guess. So,
>> there you go. Thank you. Wait, Ra,
where's the other one? Oh, wait. You
want both of them?
Rachel Karen Green, where's the other
earring? Okay. Okay. Okay. Look, just
don't freak out, but I kind of lost it.
Oh, I know it's in the apartment, but I
definitely lost it.
>> What am I going to tell Monica? She
wants to wear them tonight. I don't tell
her to wear her own earrings. These are
her earrings.
>> No. No. You lent me Monica's earrings.
I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff.
>> Why not? Because I'd lose her stuff.
I've been waiting for you.
>> Sorry. I just Oh my god. Oh my god.
Monica. Oh my god. Oh god. I'm sorry.
Sorry. I I was um I was taking a nap.
Since when do you take naps in that
position?
>> Oh god. Monica, tell me you were waiting
for a guy. Please tell me you're waiting
for a guy. Yes. Yes, I was. A guy from
work.
I'm seeing a guy from work. Ha,
>> that cute waiter guy from your
restaurant. The one that looks like a
non-threatening ray, Leotaa.
Uhhuh. That one. You know what? Just
give me a second. I'll be out of your
hair. I'm just going to grab a jacket.
When I get back, I want every little
detail.
Maybe that's him. Okay. Um Okay. Um,
>> it's just Joey and Ross.
>> Why aren't you guys at the movie?
>> Well, we were, but Ross was talking so
loud on his phone, they threw us out.
>> I had to talk loud because the movie was
loud.
>> He's talking to London.
>> Oh my god. Did he get in touch with
Emily?
>> Well, no, not yet. He's calling everyone
on her side of the family, hoping that
someone will help him get in touch with
her.
>> I I don't care if I said some other
girl's name, you prissy old twit.
Ross,
>> way to suck up to the family.
[Laughter]
>> I'm so glad you guys are all here. My
office finally got wrinkle-free fax
paper.
>> How did work go?
>> Oh, it was great. It was great. I went
down there just like you said, you know,
and we talked business and Kim totally
took my opinions.
>> You stink.
>> Thanks. No, I'm I'm serious. Well Well,
that's just cuz I went down there and
they were all smoking. This is actually
the smell of success.
>> Okay, there's something different.
>> Oh my god, you smoked.
>> I did not.
>> Yes, you did. You looked happy and sick.
You smoked.
>> All right, fine. But I had to. I had to
do it for my career.
>> Wish I had to smoke for my career.
>> That's so gross. Well, no, it's not that
bad, you know. Oh, it's I mean, yeah, my
tongue feels a little fuzzy and fingers
sort of smell. Actually feel like I
could throw up.
>> Okay, but you got to push past this,
okay? Because it's about to get so good.
>> Chandler,
I got to tell you, you smell so smoky. I
I got to get up. Not kidding.
>> I think you smell great.
>> Okay, you know what? I'll have toast.
Oh my god. Oh my god.
[Music]
You guys. You guys. We were We were just
in the storage area and we saw this
really creepy man. He was like this
crazy eyed hairy beast man. He was like
a like a Bigfoot or a Getty or
something. And he he came at us with an
axe. So Rachel had to use a bug bomb on
him. Yeah. I I I pulled the tab and I
just fogged his yeti ass.
>> Uh like dark hair, bushy beard.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. You fog Danny.
>> Please. We did not fog Danny. Who's
Danny?
>> Danny just moved in downstairs. Yeah. He
just got back from like this fourmon
trek in the Andes. Nice fella.
>> Oh, he's nice. He's nice. You know, you
always stick up for the people we fog.
[Music]
Related Songs