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I did my best to cram for my lecture
on the Revolutionary War. But, ugh.
All those names and dates, it's all so dry.
Where's the drama?
Good morrow.
Oh boy.
Well, what is all this strange garb you adorn?
Are you trappers from the Canadian provinces?
Are you here to sell your beavers?
Who are you?
The 64 pence question.
I crossed the Delaware during the Revolutionary War.
I spent a brutal winter in Valley Forge.
Who am I?
I, I have no idea.
I swear, I don't know who this man is.
I'm George Washington, of course.
Our syllabus says we're supposed to cover
Native Americans on the eve of colonization.
Yes. Native Americans. Indians.
A majestic, peaceful people who lived off
the land and cried when they saw litter.
The textbook says many tribes were often at war,
with allegiances shifting all of the time.
Shifting all the time.
So, were the Indians friends with the colonists or not?
Ah, yes. I know one Indian who was friends with
a construction worker, biker and traffic cop.
Uh, nothing? Seriously, nothing?
Okay. Your parents are gonna love that joke.
The Native Americans and the settlers had two
completely different ideas of land ownership.
Eventually, these differences would lead to war.
Oh! Look, goosebumps.
Okay. Yes.
Uh. Class dismissed.
Yeah, we did it!
Thank you so much for stepping in.
Oh, and I promise tomorrow I will
do my best to be more prepared.
Tomorrow? Why won't Mrs. Hurley be back?
Well, I don't want to be indelicate.
But the good news is, I might be your permanent teacher.
I don't want you to be my permanent teacher.
Oh, what, you'd rather have a raging alcoholic?
Listen to me. I've worked nonstop
to build the perfect academic record,
and I'm not going to let you screw it up now.
I have an AP test in 160 days, and I need to ace it.
Can you get me there or not?
I can rally like the brave men of the Alamo.
You do realize that all the men of the Alamo died?
They all died.
Hike!
Oh, hey, you're going the wrong way.
That's the wrong way.
No, wait. I'm sorry. You're right.
Uh, excuse me, Principal Brown.
Yikes.
Hey, you know, most subs just play a movie.
All right, do something different, guys.
Uh, listen, I can't be your history teacher.
Those kids work so hard, and they deserve someone
who knows the material and can inspire them.
So.
If you say so.
Hey, I was wondering what kind
of play was that you were running?
Was that supposed to be a slant?
The freshman coach quit. I'm just a glorified babysitter.
Well, your receiver needs to learn to run his routes, or the quarterback's never going to be able to hit him.
I played in college.
Oh, okay. Hey, Tyler, you need
to learn to run your routes.
What routes?
Yeah. What routes?
Um, well, you're gonna line up here.
Take three steps. One, two, three.
Plant right, open left, 45 degrees up the field.
Okay, why don't we try it again?
Try it again, Ten. Put some zip on the ball. 18.
Hut, hut! Hike!
Hit him!
Better, better. Good job. Circle back up.
All right. Anyway, thank you for the opportunity.
Hey, hey. How would you like to take over this team?
Oh, well, that's an interesting offer.
How much does it pay?
- Nothing.
- Are you firm on that?
Yeah, but there's a gym teacher position available. It's all yours if you coach.
Can I wear shorts?
Yeah. And you get a whistle, too.
I always get a whistle when I wear shorts.
I humbly accept your offer.
Huddle up, boys!
Let's go. Hustle!
Do you know what hustle means, Ten?
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