Learn Language through the song - | English exercises

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I'm Jacksepticeye, and this is my last meal.

Every person has exactly two things in common.

We all gotta eat and we're all gonna die.

Today's guest is a YouTuber who has amassed more

than 17 billion views and 31 million followers.

He's also a philanthropist, a coffee entrepreneur and

star of the Blockbuster Hit film free guy.

Give a warm.

Top of the morning to ya laddies.

Oh my God.

Sean McLaughlin, AKA Jack Septic guy.

Wow.

Thank you so much for, I didn't know you were

gonna do all that.

Do you like that or does that kind of, uh, make you nervous?

You feel like the bar has been raised?

Is that I called you a blockbuster superstar.

Uh, well, it's false, so you can just say anything.

I believe it.

Yeah.

I wanna bring you back to the first time that

you and I actually met.

We didn't have a lot of contact.

- We met? - It was seven years ago.

I know.

You said, nice to meet you.

I tried to say good to see you early on were you, were you

as buff as you are now back then?

Not even a little bit.

I was a little boy.

You didn't, you didn't strike a silhouette

yet, but it was on GMM and I did cook food for you,

but it was mostly raw pig intestines that had been

dyed purple in shoved inside of a fake po colum costume.

You are the reason.

You are the reason I

have nightmares.

Come here. Oh God.

That's good stuff.

Oh, that's good.

Oh, it smells gross.

I just have such a strong gag reflex that I was like.

I can't even like entertain anyone.

I'm just drinking this thing and it's terrible.

But yeah, that tastes an awful, thank you.

You're welcome.

Well, this is kind of my apology tour in a sense.

It's like, let me feed you all of your favorite

foods for your last meal.

Yeah. But you

also said, I, you're gonna kill me after this.

Uh, have you thought about your last meal before?

I have.

And it was actually kind of, well, there's

a difference between like, is it my last meal?

Am I going out being like, I want to order the most

expensive stuff, or is it like my favorite meal?

Or is it the nostalgic meal?

I just want like really crappy food.

Uh, how often do you think about death in general?

Uh, probably too much.

I think.

I think it, I think being an Irish person,

it's built into you.

I remember being a kid and like driving somewhere with

my mom, and then 6:00 PM would hit and you'd hear like

the, the church bells on the radio, and she'd be like,

sh, the obituaries are on.

And she'd turn it up.

Especially like small town Ireland, you're obsessed with

death to be like, who died?

Who do I not know is dead?

And then it's something to talk about with somebody else.

I was just surrounded by it my whole life.

And I remember when my grandmother died, we like

had the coffin in her house and in her room, and we

spent all night with her.

And like I, I, I think Irish people just have

a very strong connection with like, people who are

dead and like that sort of like old school mentality.

But, and then this year I think I finally understand

what a midlife crisis is.

I'm 35 and I'm like, oh God, forties around the corner.

Have I done everything I wanna do?

Oh God, there's so many things I wanna do, but my

brain doesn't work and I can't do it, and I'm like

freaking out and just facing my own mortality

more than I ever have.

You ready to get to eating?

Yeah, let's do it.

Jack, for your first course of your final meal, we

have classic cheeseburger, fries, a little bit of

chipotle mayo, and some shredded lettuce on there.

Yeah,

your classic fast food, french fry, double

fried a little bit.

A batter on there just to keep it crispy.

Then we have the Coke Zero, maybe the greatest

soda ever known on the face of this earth.

I feel like it.

We have the very special Irish chef's

ketchup import.

I'm so excited.

I, I swear to God I haven't seen this since I was a child.

I'll do that thing on Ratatouille where I like

tasted and I'm like, oh my God, I'm a child again.

I just start crying in front of you.

And then

of course we have.

The Irish stew filled plenty of lamb, a little bit of

Guinness, just to give you some of that dark funkiness

potatoes, and then all of your aromatics in there.

Oh my God, this smells so good.

It is one of those meals that's like, you smell it and

you're like, I'm, I'm home.

I don't know if I've ever had Irish stew

before.

Oh, you're about to be a changed man.

I, I'm so excited.

I'm gonna start talking about the brogue after this.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, Jason, back in the hills.

What was that?

I'm back in rural Ireland.

I grew up in a town of like 600 people and it was so small

and everyone knew everyone.

Yeah, which is a bad thing most of the time.

And I went back after I did a tour and I went back and

like checked out where I lived and my old house is

like a veterinary office now.

And to let me go into my old bedroom and it's full

of like animal cages.

And then like the neighbors I grew up next

to were still there.

And I was like, oh man, I'm so sorry you, you never made

it out the hood, you know?

Well, do you think that making it out like

always should be the goal, per se?

'cause as I've gotten older, lived in la,

Southern California pretty much my whole life, yeah.

I at least drive through smaller towns and.

Living a simple life would be so incredible.

But also I understand that everybody from that

simple life looks at my life and goes, that

would be incredible.

Yeah.

I just grew up in a town where you see people like

not have much ambition.

Mm. They drank a lot.

It was the only thing to do.

Yeah.

They like go like two towns over and that's the furthest

they've ever been from home.

Like Sam Gaji.

I'm pretty sure hobbits are based on Irish people.

I think they

probably are though, right?

Yeah.

Something like that.

A lot of things that look like this, this just looks like set

deck from Lord of the Race.

Yeah. I love

when Sam pulled up this cheeseburger and said,

Frodo, this shit slaps this.

He does make stew in it and he talks about potatoes.

So I'm, I'm really excited to get into this ketchup.

What do you think makes Irish ketchup different

than American ketchup?

You think I know?

I dunno. Okay.

Here I had it

when I

was like

12 and

younger.

Yeah.

There, there are about 150 ingredients on

this than there is in the typical American ketchup label.

Oh yeah.

That, that's it won't kill you as quickly.

Yeah.

I always say that whenever I come to America, I'm

like, I'm gonna gain like five kilos while I'm here.

To be fair.

You do food different, but it's pretty damn

good.

I'm curious to see if it triggers any of those

Ratatouille moments.

Oh my God, I hate my parents.

I wanna go outside.

Oh my God.

Final Fantasy nine is the best game ever made.

That is good.

It is good.

I think it,

come on.

Come on, chef.

It lacks, it does lack some of the spice of American ketchup

because a lot of the spice, a lot of the ingredients,

there's a deceptive amount of spice and ketchup.

Okay.

Um, you dig, dig into the burger?

Hell yeah.

Oh boy.

Oh baby.

No.

Are there any irises that I can say like

you bite into food.

It's great.

There's bite.

Jesus.

My

Jesus.

Oh, last, oh sins.

Butter service.

That's a good part.

Oh, holy Mary, mother of God.

I will eat a burger every single day of the week forever

until I'm dead from burgers.

I hope you get to do that in your midlife

crisis.

Speaking of your midlife crisis, you

seem like somebody.

Who has really thought deeply about his place in the world,

and I know you've read a lot of stoicism and Buddhism.

Do you have any quotes that you can kind of

easily access, here we go, that make you feel better

about your place in the world?

Or give you clarity?

I used to say PMA on my channel for a while, and

positive mental attitude.

'cause I was going through a really hard time.

Mm-hmm.

And I was like, I needed some sort of mantra to

kinda pull me out of it.

Yeah,

yeah.

But then it's like people start using it and it's like.

It just became like, be happy at any cost.

And I'm like, well, that's not the case.

I, I had a hard time like dealing with myself and

where I am and like I was very angry as a young man

and like didn't know what I wanted to do and like trying

to pull other people down to my level 'cause I can't rise

up to theirs kind of energy.

Sure.

Everyone's on the own path.

No one's right.

Anything I say is.

Concrete.

It's not proof that I know something better

than anyone else.

Other people have stuff to teach you all the

time, even if they're like not great people.

You can learn something.

You can like reflect yourself off of them.

Who's the worst person you've learned something great from?

It sounds like you had somebody in mind.

I do, but I'm not allowed to say it on camera.

I don't know.

I just, it's that thing of like, no matter who

you are, no matter what position you get into,

I don't know anything.

Yeah. Like who am I?

Sure.

And I, I am surrounded by people who talk about legacy

all the time and what they're gonna like leave behind.

I'm like, who cares?

Yeah.

You're dead if you want someone to talk about

you after you're dead.

Like it's kind of

egotistical and narcissistic.

I think.

So, I think it might also be the only thing every

anyone's thought about.

It's the only thing you possibly have,

otherwise you end up just sort of a nihilist.

Speaking of which though, there is a

quote from Nietzsche.

I wouldn't consider myself a nihilist that I go back

to all the time, which is asking questions,

searching for answers.

Still, I release myself from this burden.

Have you heard that before?

Never

So eloquently.

Oh wait, shoot.

No, that's not Nietzche.

That's from Raise to The Grounds Debut EP from

a song, your Freedom My Burden, Sean.

Oh wait, say it again.

Hold on.

I wrote it down.

Lemme make sure I'm getting this because that did not

click at, and the thing is, I wrote a lot of the

lyrics for that song,

asking questions, searching for answers.

Still, I find a way to refuse this burden.

Oh my God, it's from the song, your Freedom, my

Burden in Raise to the Ground Debut, ep, can We

Your Freedom, my Burden.

Incredible.

That is the most 14-year-old metal song

that's ever, ever existed.

It really is.

Did you, did you write those lyrics?

I wrote some of them.

There was like four of us in that band and we were sitting.

In like my cabin that I lived in, in the middle of the woods

and we were like practicing and we were, we had four

songs written and then it was like, we need lyrics for this.

And I was like sitting up in the loft and I was

just kinda like musing.

I thought I was changing the world with those lyrics.

I think you were, man, you changed my world, man.

You had a lot of talent.

Thank you.

Do you think there's something that draws neurodivergent

people to metal music unique?

Because I'm a doctor or a statistician, but I've

seen a lot of trends and a lot of overlap.

You just wanna find your tribe, your clan of people.

Mm-hmm.

You wanna find people who are like you.

And it's always like the people who don't want

to, you don't wanna do like a nine to five job.

It's the same with YouTube.

It's like we all kinda like, yeah, find each other.

We're all like a little neurodivergent.

Um, and I think it's that thing.

It's like, I don't wanna do like the stuff

everybody else is doing.

Like, I like heavy metal music and not that I like, I was

like, it makes me different.

But it was just like something about the people

who made that music.

Felt like they related to me a bit more.

Yeah.

They felt like they didn't conform to stuff.

Yeah. Yeah.

I was just so like mad at the world.

You know, your freedom, my burden.

I'm 18 and I've suffered the hardest harshest

reality anyone's ever suffered more than anyone

in the entire world.

I think.

I know that's every 18-year-old.

Like for me it was all about the feeling.

It was all about the dopamine rush of just hearing those

like super heavy chords.

How much do you think you staying on YouTube is just

connected to feeling that type of dopamine rush.

Because I've never felt any stronger a hundred percent

than just seeing the numbers go up on a YouTube video.

Yeah.

And I can't figure out why it's so unique.

It's so dangerous too.

It is.

Like you get, like even now, I've been doing it for 13

years at the end of this year, and it's still like

my mental health is still attached to those numbers.

Video does bad.

I do bad day's, ruined weeks over, I'm going back to my

burger.

But real, every single person, no matter how

many subscribers, no matter how much money.

No matter how many millions of people say that I adore you.

Everybody's attachment is still to that singular number.

Is there any hope to escape the matrix or is there any

amount of therapy, any amount of Marcus Aurelius or stoicism

that you can read that can de tether us from that?

Or is it a matter of you just have to walk

away at some point?

I don't think anything that's happening to you externally

is ever sustainable.

Yeah.

Like that happiness that's coming from uploading YouTube

videos and they all did.

700 million views.

It's still an external factor that's making me happy that

one day could change and then I'm upset by that.

I think that's why I'm so self introspective and like

think about myself a lot and where I am and there's also

at the double-edged sword.

'cause I leave here today and be like, that

was a terrible episode.

Yeah.

No one liked me.

I didn't crack any jokes and I forget all of it.

And then I hate myself and then I'm lying in bed just.

That's me.

That burger was good though.

That's legitimate me after every single episode.

Yeah.

And I, I literally have to rely on what other

people tell me happened.

No, you're doing great.

You're doing great.

I think we're both doing great.

You're doing great.

You're doing, you're jacked.

You know you're handsome, so are you.

We both have tattoos.

Do we have tattoos?

Everyone's talking about it and we're all both so happy.

Should we make out, are we about to

jack for course number two of your final meal on earth?

We have the lasagna Irish pub style with the french

fries and the peas.

Then we have the potato waffle.

With the fish fingers.

Now we couldn't get bird's eye fish fingers.

We tried.

And then of course we have the old fashioned made

with dingle Irish whiskey.

This is, um, this is their wyn single mal.

He said it right.

I was gonna task you to say it to see if, if you would

actually say it right brother.

Googled 20 minutes beforehand because I knew

damn well knowing enough Irish, you do not pronounce

80% of those letters.

Y'all mind if I sniff?

Please sniff you.

We can get you a, a shot straight if

you want something.

Yeah.

Oh, please.

Yeah. Can we get two glasses?

Dude mess me up.

Sky glazer.

We're gonna have such a good time.

Thank you so much.

Anise.

Can I get a a decanter and a straw and a

Bible and a priest?

Do

you just wanna smoke this through a bong?

Are you a whiskey guy?

I am a whiskey guy.

Yeah.

I feel like Irish whiskey is the one that I haven't

explored that much.

Oh, it's gonna be Petey.

It's actually really incredible.

You get that smokiness.

Yeah.

But very distinct from like an Isla Scotch Top note.

Top note, all 9,000 Taste Bud.

And then in the old fashioned,

what if I, that's just

a classic drink.

What a time to be alive.

I feel like

we're, we're at the pub.

Do you have a favorite pub memory?

Growing up we had a pub called Leonard's in the

town that I grew up in.

And my dad was a big fan of Man United growing up.

Mm-hmm. So

we would go there like Sundays and watch stuff.

And I remember they won like.

The treble, I think maybe like 1999, someone can fact check

me in the comments, but they won that and then my parents

were in the pub watching it and they were like.

It is gotta be an all-nighter guys, come on up.

I'm like nine years old and it's like getting my

sister to bring me to the pub to like celebrate.

'cause my parents didn't wanna come home.

They're having too much of a good time.

If that's not Ireland, I don't know what is.

I was gonna ask if a lot of the Irish stereotypes

are true because this.

Is the now third and fourth preparation of

potato that we've had in the first two courses.

What can I

say?

You know, after the famine, they tried to get rid of us.

Hey, but we back the, the troubles didn't

last forever, brother.

No, I like lasagna and chips because there's a kinda like

a petrol station called Spar.

They have a tree logo.

Oh.

And this was like the thing, I would go get like some

mornings on the weekend.

I remember going and I, they had lasagna and I was

like, I used to make lasagna as a kid for my family.

Yeah.

And it was like the first meal I learned to cook was lasagna.

I don't think it was nearly as good as this.

Dishes laughs.

Tell me about the fish fingers.

Do you eat 'em with ketchup?

Yes.

Exclusively.

Exclusively with ketchup.

I'm weird about seafood.

It's one of those things where it's like I should have

been diagnosed a lot earlier.

Sure.

Because like textures and flavors and smells

and everything are so strong with me.

This was like, like cod is so easy to eat.

Cod and salmon, I think.

But it's always something.

Being from an island, I really wanted to like fish.

Yeah.

So this is like my, this is my pipeline in.

I still don't really like fish.

I get in my head about it and I smell it, and I'm

like, it's gonna taste bad, even though it doesn't,

you're almost like anticipating your own

discomfort despite the fact that it's not actually there.

Yeah.

Welcome to my brain, bro.

Hey, I, I get that, man.

So you guys would

just say fish sticks, right?

Mm-hmm.

They're a lot closer to fingers too.

They're so good.

Gordon's, I think it was his name brand.

Gordon's Ramsey Birdseye.

No.

Although I,

I'm sure he does have fish sticks in the grocery

store.

I think Gordon needs to like chill the out, you

know, just once in your life, just chill out.

I don't know,

man.

I went to, I know where this hostility for

Gordon Ramsey is coming.

It's the whiskey, it's kicking in.

I went to Gordon Ramsey's restaurant that was based

off of the 1890 cooking of Chef Augusta Scalier.

And it was, you see what I mean?

Was fantastic, man.

Chill.

I don't think it needs to chill though.

I think it's the opposite.

Go farther.

You're a chef.

I'm a man eating waffles.

Thinking about my dad, I've never heard someone say chef.

More like a slur.

Um, tell me about your dad.

What made his fish fingers so much better than your

friend's mom who sucked at

cooking fish fingers?

They were not the best.

So my dad, I. I had like a granddad dad growing up.

Mm-hmm.

So when I was like a kid coming home from school,

my dad was already retired in his sixties, pushing 70.

He was like the homemaker of the house.

Yeah.

So I would come home from school at three o'clock every

day and he would have like fish fingers and waffles.

It was so easy to cook.

You put them under the grill, you're done.

So I, this was like my meal.

90% of the time when you're a kid, you

don't understand that.

You don't understand how much your parents actually

like do stuff for you.

And my mom was like always gone and she

was working a lot and.

I don't really like see eye to eye with her, but my dad

was always like, like, I want to, but you're so old.

Like, I have no, there's no connective tissue between us.

Yeah. So

it was like food was always a thing.

And then when he got older, I would like cook food for

them and I would cook lasagna.

So it's perfect that these came out at the same time.

This is a, a double whammy.

It's not until like your dad passes, which you said

your dad had passed as well.

Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry to hear that.

But my dad passed like three years ago.

I wasn't really that close to him.

We were kind of like expecting it for a while

and I didn't think it would affect me that much.

And I got the call and as soon as I heard it, I like

bawled my eyes out and it was like a surprise to me

and I was thinking about it a lot and that's why I started

thinking about death more.

And I was like, I don't know who this man is.

I dunno who he was.

I don't know his, his dreams, his ambitions.

Was he happy that he even want a family?

Was he happy with the kids he had?

I think now I'm like, okay, I need to like

figure myself out.

And I think that's kind of like the driving

force to kind like.

Like go for it.

And I have like a tattoo for him as well, which is a

light bulb, which he worked in a electrical company

like it was called ESB, which is like the electrical

supply board in Ireland.

And I was like, it's just nice to kinda like honor

him if I didn't know him.

He was a, he was a really good man.

I think he just, he had a lot of the same stuff I did.

Probably like he had OCD, he had like undiagnosed

autism, A DHD, and he struggled quite a lot with it.

He's even like further back generation that

really didn't know, understand mental health.

Uh, working at the power company, he was working on

those like, you know, the big like cooling towers.

Yeah.

He was working on one of those and he saw a

man fall off it and die.

That's one of those things that's like, it just happens.

He moves on.

I'm like, you really should have wrestled with that.

Like that's really not a normal thing for a

person to go through.

If you could have asked your dad.

Were you happy?

Did you live a full fulfilled life?

What do you think he would've said to you?

I think he would've said yes.

'cause he's a very good man.

I think he really liked working for his family.

Yeah, he liked the distraction.

He was a very like busy man around the house.

He fixed things.

He was, yeah, he always just had like farmer dad strength.

He just like being busy.

And I think it's, now that I'm older, I'm

understanding myself.

I'm like, I'm surprised you weren't worse

as a person, dude.

Yeah.

And the amount of effort that it frankly probably

took for him to not.

Be worse.

Yeah. In sense.

And I think we can almost colloquially that to be love.

Right?

The fact that, it's funny when you said you didn't like

realize the effort that it took to prepare that, but then

now that you're an adult and you're like, I need to feed

myself, and you're like, yeah, shit, I gotta do this stuff.

It's one of

those things, like, my parents never told me

they love me out loud.

Ever.

Yeah. Yeah.

Um, even to this day.

But it's like, this is that, that's his

interpretation of it.

That's his way of doing it.

Him working for our family and providing and making

sure we had a roof overheads.

That's his way of showing it.

If he couldn't say it.

And he gave you that platform.

Yeah.

That springboard in the best way that he knew how.

Yeah, and I started my career in this a little

bit before he died.

It was one of those things, like it's in the documentary

I did about like the tour and going back home and

everything, and he wasn't on camera, but he's a

joke in the thing saying like, how are you doing?

He says, above the ground.

And it's like, you could complain but you're

just not going to.

Yep.

But in the latter years, he was very impressed with

like the stuff I was doing.

So it's like, I'm glad we got something.

And the last time I was back in Ireland was like

2018 when I saw him and I was like, we all need to

get together for like the last time kind of thing.

Mm-hmm.

It's that thing, like I kind of, I couldn't even

go to the funeral 'cause it was in COVID, so I had

to like watch a live stream of it as it happened.

And there was like 12 people max allowed into

the room and I was like, my dad was so beloved in

the town he grew up in.

He didn't die in that town.

He wasn't buried in that town.

I'm like, if he went, if he died there.

People in that town would've come out to like see him

and it would've been like a packed church kind of thing.

Yeah.

cause he was just a really decent guy and a lot of

people had stories about him.

So it's kind of, it's one of those things where it's like,

it's such a unique experience.

I don't know, there's very few people in the world

who have that thing happen to them, but we're all

part of the same club.

Yeah. I guess.

And I think we all kind of honor it in a certain way.

Like this was to.

Honor my dad.

He was a leek farmer.

No, he wasn't.

Uh, but this was like, he was always the one, he was

always the one who encouraged me to follow my dreams.

Yeah.

Because as he kind of told me like, you can

take risks and fail.

You can also play it safe and fail.

Look at me.

Yeah.

And that it was always like really heartbreaking

for me talking about a life fulfilled.

And so I kind of decided that like, I'm going to do

whatever I can to follow my biggest passion in the world,

which is cooking and leeks.

People have heard the story.

They're the hardest vegetable to clean and prep because

there's dirt in between a thousand tiny little layers.

Yeah.

You have to like peel every single one of them.

Exactly.

And so for me, this is all as a reminder of

like do the hard things because they're worth it.

I love that.

We're just out here, owner and dead dads.

Hey, cheers

to anybody else out there.

Truly.

you still have the lamp that his company gave you when he retired?

Oh my God.

You are going like full Nardwuar on me.

I asked you du just call me Tyler, the creator.

You know what's funny?

That's the first time I ever took a

photograph was that lamp.

It wasn't even digital cameras, it was disposables.

Mm-hmm.

So at his retirement party when he was 65, they gave him

that lamp, which crap gift.

I remember taking a picture of that lamp, like that's one of

the earliest memories I have.

We gotta go find that lamp, you know, gotta go

recover.

I don't know man.

This is weird,

Jack.

For course number three, we have a filet mignon cooked

medium with a peppercorn sauce, some garlic mash,

and then a lovely Cabernet.

Sauvignon are, are you a wine guy?

I am not a wine guy.

I'm much more of a hard liquor and cocktail guy.

Okay.

Than a wine guy.

As you can see, by me doing the beer high

pour on, tell me you

have trauma without telling you.

You know, I got into wine.

When I was like 28, I hated it when I was growing up.

I tasted wine probably when I was like eight, but I

remember red wine, white wine is so easy to drink.

It's like juice.

Mm-hmm.

But red wine, I was like, so gross.

And then I was 28 and I was like, I'm different now.

Can't three things anymore.

I, I need a new

thing to hyper obsess over wine is a great

thing to do that way.

Yeah.

It can be really pretentious

if you want it to be.

Yeah.

But there is something about like taking your time with it.

Oh, you did the inhale and everything.

I'm not a wine drinker, you know.

It is my, he says, is he full?

Bong rips the wine.

I'm with a steak.

Dig in man.

It doesn't

get more pretentious than this.

This also feels like a nice, good pub meal.

What's the most common food?

Because people come

up with, uh,

generally like steak, like some sort of prestige

cut, like a mignon.

I think burgers probably.

Up there, something like fried and handheld from

their childhood fries.

Sorry, stop listening.

Oh my God.

I'm somewhere else.

I had steak growing up, but it's like

your parents cook it.

They'd have no idea what they're doing.

I had a proper steak when I came to a convention PAX

East in Boston in 2015, and everyone was ordering

steak at this restaurant and I was like, oh.

And they were like, I always remember the scene from the

Matrix when he eats the steak.

And I was like, food has never looked so good.

And I was like, that makes steak look incredible.

It's such a, such a wet, meaty steak.

But it's like, I want to like it, you know?

Yeah.

And then I, I remember my first steak and everyone was

getting like medium rare and I was like, I don't know guys.

I might gag when I tasted and I tasted and

I was like, oh my God.

Yeah.

This is, you know, dude, you got some

like, talent

here.

I agree entirely.

Don't raise their self-esteem or they're

gonna wanna leave me though.

Do you ever feel like that people are gonna leave you?

Always.

I have a problem with it.

I have a fear of abandonment and I worry

that I self-sabotage every relationship I'm in.

Yeah.

Just like me, including friends.

Anyway, down the head, everybody.

I'm eating my feelings and they taste bitter.

No, this tastes incredible.

We can, we don't have to talk about your abandonment issues.

Do can we just like chill?

We can just chill.

Can we talk about stocks and Wolf of Wall Street dude?

Do you have a favorite cut of steak?

It's actually filet, which is not cool to see

anymore, but it'll be cool again in about six years.

Oh, whatever.

I know.

I'm gonna

say that. Get off

your Wagyu and your rib eye.

No one cares.

No one watches your tiktoks anyway.

No one cares.

Don't say that.

Settle down.

They watch your tiktoks.

Don't worry.

No, I know, but that's an existential thing.

And you should subscribe, like, comment, you know,

engagement, farming.

Do you even watch YouTube anymore?

I don't watch YouTube.

Well, actually that's not true.

I watch like some people what is like miniature painting.

Yeah, it's exclusive.

Was it war Hammer stuff?

Yeah.

Thumbs up.

Don't try and flip the question on me.

Answer.

God forbid I ask a question.

Am I like, I turned

into a mean drunk?

Um, I watch bodybuilding fitness content.

Yeah. You would.

I watch.

I do.

But no, it's the thing that I need to do.

I can't watch cooking content because that's every single

day at my job, which is my greatest passion in life

and my biggest stressor in the entire world.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm tortured mentally every single

day because of it.

'cause I know when you started YouTube.

It sounds like you were at a really lonely point

in your life, living in a log cabin, quite isolated.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm pretty open about it, that I was like, I was

just severely depressed.

I wanted friends.

I, I was always like around people that their main thing

was like, we go to college and then we drink, and

that's like our life and we don't know what else to do.

And I was like, because all the men in my family are

alcoholics and like reformed alcoholics, and I was always

kinda like scared of it.

Thankfully, I, I, my addiction manifested itself elsewhere.

And I have quite a healthy relationship with alcohol,

but it was one of those things that like I could

just see a lot of my family in friends and like that

small town mentality.

So I was like, I gotta do something else.

I would play like metal gear solid and stuff as a kid and

being like, oh, Japan exists.

That's cool.

And like start.

I remember doing YouTube and I was big into

Battlefield, which shout Battlefield six coming out.

We might be back.

I was watching a guy called Level Cap Gaming who did

that as his job and I just couldn't believe that like.

I tried to, like, I was researching like how to be

a play tester for games, like play games as a job,

and it was never my intent to do that, but I was like,

the editing of it and the curation of it was really

cool and it gave me something to do and a, a hobby to

figure out and a task to do.

I remember just falling in love with it and then I

remember his community meant a lot to me and did a lot

for me in those moments where you're like, I can watch a

TV show, but no one's there.

Yeah.

And then I would watch that stuff and I was

like, this is my people.

Like they get the game on the same level I do, and

they're watching YouTube and I felt kinda like nerdy

and weird, an outsider.

And then when I started doing it, I was like, I wanna find

my people and do that for them and help them out and,

and it was just a good excuse to kinda like, have friends

and do something and waste my day away and actually

feel productive and not worry about my future so much.

Yeah. Luckily it panned out and I.

Like you work hard at it, but it's, there's a lot of luck.

Like you can work your ass off all day, every day,

but unless that like switch kinda like flicks for you

or like the people start getting onto you a little

bit or you know, people or like something has to happen

to like make that hard work.

Make sense?

It does.

And proliferate.

It does, but

also I think it's too easy to chalk certain

things up to luck.

Sure. Right.

If, uh, luck is, say a one in 100 shot, you

were uploading two videos a day for five years.

Yeah.

So if there's a 1% shot, good news, you have 1500 shots.

- Going out - Fair.

And so at that point it's literally not.

Yeah.

Like of course, you know, and I understand from your

perspective whether it is to try and demure on your own

accomplishments by saying, I'm not worthy, because that

verifies a narrative that you may have about yourself.

Oh, I'll never celebrate myself ever.

It's not in me to do that.

Yeah.

Do you think you should though?

Do you think it's healthier to do that?

I have really good people who have like, tried to tell me

to like, celebrate what I do.

Are you laughing?

It's hilarious just to say like, I have

great people around me.

They've tried to tell me these things.

Yep. Fair.

The

work of the, the, the verb try was very, very heavy on that.

That's, and I didn't even clock it.

Yeah.

And I'm like, what was weird about what I said?

Yeah.

I've, I've tried to be like, we've done a lot

of charity stuff and I'm very proud of it.

I've done a lot of stuff on YouTube, but you know what?

It's like you're only as good as like the last video you

put up kind of mentality.

And a lot of us are kinda like in that head space where

it's like, yeah, I just have a very like, don't get too big

for your boots kind of thing.

And maybe that's the Irish in me.

I don't know.

If you didn't go into YouTube, do you think you

would still have these kind of existential crises?

Of like, oh God, my self-esteem is

tied to this number.

And I honestly

think I would be more unhealthy mentally if I

didn't, because I think going into YouTube let

me meet so much of a diverse amount of people.

Again, growing up in small town Ireland, I had

never like seen people of color growing up.

Like I didn't know anybody.

Not one.

It's no, and it's like.

It is not like I hated those people.

It's like I just never met any of them.

Of course.

And then you grow up and I like, I go to a convention

and I meet like people of all colors and religions and

ethnicities and all people who are like, I'm trans

and I'm gay, and I like all these different things.

And I'm like, well, it's kind of hard to be narrow-minded

when I've met all of these people and I've seen their

faces and I've heard their stories and I've listened

to them talk to me about how much like YouTube

channels mean to them.

And I was like, I was there.

Like you were the people I was looking for when I was like.

Like 20 and I was like trying to find my people.

So it's kinda like, I think it broadened my mind quite a bit.

I don't need to tell you how hard YouTube could

be at times, but I, maybe I have too much empathy

for people sometimes for kinda like borders on like.

It hurts me in a way.

Yeah.

Try to, oh God, are you guys clipping this?

And it's, it's gonna come back in two years where people

like, he said this, what he did do, but you're, you're

living in that double track in your head right now where

you're currently like engaged in reality, but also thinking

about the edit in the video.

Yeah.

Which is a strange place to be.

And I tried explaining that to my therapist and how,

hey, I think because of my job, I'm going insane.

Right?

It's strange to have millions of people currently right now,

significantly more for you.

Thinking about you, talking about you talking shit about

you, complimenting you with compliments that Persian kings

in the ancient world never could have gotten from people.

Yeah.

You are treated better than almost every single

person in human history.

You're also treated worse than almost, and I have such

an amazing job and it's like one of the easiest things in

the world to do some days.

But I tried making it about my job to my therapist, and

she goes, didn't you tell me that you've woken up with an

intense sense of dread every single day of your life since

you were eight years old?

Yeah.

I go, yeah.

She goes, you didn't have this job back then, did you?

I go, no.

And she goes, do you think the problem could just be no.

Could just be you.

And I went, should you

feel a little better, bud?

Yeah.

You want a lollipop?

I guess to your point, it's like, I like to live in a

healthy middle, you know?

It's like you're all saying bad things about me.

Sure, I'll believe some of them, but at the same

time I can rationalize it.

Mm. You say really good things about me.

I also know those aren't really true.

'cause I'm not infallible.

I make mistakes and I know more about me

than anybody else does.

I

think you might know less about yourself than anybody

else does, and I think you probably have this

internal monologue of like, well, I'm a bad person.

I could have done so much better in this and

this and this, and other people are better in

this and this and this.

But I think the outside view of you is more accurate.

That you're somebody who's raised $30

million for charity.

Let me compliment you without you signing.

Okay.

Fair. You're at my dinner table.

This is rude.

Fair.

Thank you for, uh, thank you Mrs. Josh for

preparing this meal for us.

Can I come over next week for pizza rolls and PlayStation?

Yeah. Yeah.

We just got the new Dave, me BMX.

It should be exciting.

Came That came slap so much better than Matt Hoffman.

BMX.

Yeah.

What was your first like video game memory?

Oh, um, yeah.

Uh, this is my show now.

What do you think

about video games?

Um, oh dude.

Holy shit.

No.

My dad had an original Atari pong and it was just

the most fun I've ever had in my entire life.

That's pretty, how old are you?

33. What'd you have to think about that?

How often?

I, I don't know.

How often do you think about how old are you?

35.

Yeah.

He nailed, he nailed that real quick.

He nailed that

real quick.

I know who I am, Josh, and I don't like it.

How much do you weigh?

I think I'm rocking like a 72 kilo, I dunno what that is in

pounds.

I think you're talking about this as if you're like

getting ready for a fight.

Who are we gonna fight, Mr. Beast?

Because he ruined YouTube.

Yeah.

Let's get to, I guess, get into that.

I feel so passionately about this stuff because it means

so much to me as a person, and my mental health is

so attached to it, and not for like the number bad.

I'm bad.

Yeah.

But like I care so much about like the people who watch and

the things that are happening.

So when, and it, it gets boiled down to like, well,

you fell off and it's just not working for you

right now, so you hate it.

Which I mean, fair enough.

From an outside perspective, that's.

Totally valid, but I just care so much about like the

non-corporate side of it.

I just think about that guy who watched

Battlefield in his bedroom.

And we're so like this is the coolest thing ever.

I've never had to think about my content more than I ever

have in the last two years.

Like the titles and the thumbnails and how long

it is and the retention and all this stuff.

And I'm like, more tools for creators are always great

if that's what you're into.

But I was horrible at it.

I was never good at it.

I was like, I'm just doing it 'cause it's fun

and people are watching and that's really cool.

And I think I just kinda like romanticize that and

I think that that's what kinda like saddens me.

I remember when it was just like really fun and

people just had a good time and what you're

uploading didn't matter.

We were just there to have a good time,

Jack, for the final course of your final meal.

So excited on Earth.

So am I, man, because reading banoffee pie, there's a Port

Monto of banana and toffee.

That's right.

Banoffee.

Something very foreign to my American palate.

You've never had banoffee?

I've had it before.

Only at like British themed restaurants.

Here we go.

And then also New York cheesecake right here.

This is homemade, some fresh cream cheese mixed with

egg, little bit of flour whipped cream on top, and

then the top of the morning coffee and the french press.

Do you mind if I do that?

Look at that talent skill.

He remembered, but now this is your brand of

coffee, am I correct?

Sure is top of the morning coffee.

Okay. Yours today?

Beer's great with whiskey.

Are you a coffee guy?

Huge coffee guy.

But more, I mean as an A DHD haver, I assume you're

like violently addicted to caffeine, right?

Can't get enough.

Same.

But then that also gives you a tremendous amount of anxiety.

So you're trying to like find that weird

little line before, Hey,

if God can't fix me, no one can.

Caffeine is my guy.

Someone

get him a drum kit and a writing pad.

Right now he's writing new music folks.

Dude, we're spitting.

I'm, I'm one of those guys who's like, I don't really

like chocolate ice cream.

I like chocolate, but I don't like chocolate ice cream.

I don't like chocolate sauce.

I don't like mousse

It's, it's really heavy and it kinda like

overpowers the meal.

There's no like, no, I agree with that.

Yeah.

Vanilla

and stuff, it's just, it's good.

I agree.

And I think there's as much nuance into vanilla

if you really get into the nitty gritty as a chop it.

I once had a, um, single origin vanilla

ice cream brand that.

I actually categorize them from Madagascar, vanilla to

Tahitian, vanilla to Mexican vanilla to G Romanian vanilla.

You could really taste all the different kinds of vanilla.

So was there a moment when you realized you were autistic,

like a single moment...

Stand out.

I'm beginning to

doubt it.

Listening to you talk.

I'm wondering if maybe I don't.

This is really good.

Yo, this is excellent.

Cheesecake.

Who cooked this cheesecake?

Show me yourself.

How's the bit off?

You consistent?

I'm gonna have sex with it.

Yeah.

Hey, you can do that, man.

What's the difference between having sex and making love?

Intent,

intent and emotional maturity.

Just boys have sex, men make love, and some would

say that you have to kill the boy to become the man.

You don't.

I said that to a therapist in Beverly Hills one time.

And she was like, that's a very all or nothing mentality

that she was like, you can be the man when you need

to be and be business, but you can let the boy

out to play whenever you need to and it's healthy

to have an inner child.

And I was like, you're so right.

This is why you're $220 an hour.

The good thing you latch onto those buzzword quotes,

and I think that's a problem right now is that agreed,

there's a buzzword quote for everything and it sounds

great, and people who are less emotionally mature

will fall for that stuff.

That's why I hate like self-help books.

Mm-hmm.

I don't like them 'cause I feel like it's like

preying on insecurities of people who want answers.

That's why I hate YouTubers.

Don't give me a quote, gimme a quote.

Be your most profound.

You can be right now.

Be the most profound I can be.

I don't know if that's something I can do on demand

or off demand and there it is.

Maybe you, Jesus Christ.

Maybe you just did it and maybe I just did it.

I'm in your head, bro.

I'm in the walls.

I live here now.

This is my house.

And it's a funny, go ahead.

Yeah, I What was your childhood

like?

Terrible.

Do you hear anything said?

Tell me about the,

tell me about the movie you're in coming up.

How did you prepare for the role?

Chicken and Broccoli?

Yeah.

Chicken Broccoli and Ana bar there.

I do wanna talk about the trendy thing is possible, bro.

Truly, the paradox between the de-stigmatization of

mental health and just skyrocketing depression

rates, we've de-stigmatized.

A lot of it, but like how do you square the fact that more

people are more open about their mental health than ever?

More people talk about, there's more resources than

ever, and we're still just seeing skyrocketing rates.

Yeah.

The problem is that your mental health becomes money.

I am always shocked every time I come to America, I

turn on the TV at the hotel.

It's always South Park all day on Comedy Central.

But the ads that play are ridiculous.

It's like ads talking about like bipolar

medication and stuff.

I'm like, you're not allowed to do that.

It's like trying to convince everybody that there's

something wrong with them and they need to fix it.

I think

America's one of two countries where we allow,

uh, prescription drugs to advertise on tv.

That's absolutely wild to me.

Yeah.

Everyone wants to be heard.

Everyone wants to have a voice.

Everyone wants to feel like they're not that guy in

a cabin with no friends.

They want to.

Say something.

Unfortunately, negativity is the path of least

resistance into that.

Yeah.

If you don't like something that's a personality and now

people like you for being hard to please, I think about

this stuff a lot and I'm in my head a lot and sometimes it

stops me from doing anything.

Yeah.

And then again, I'll go home and I'll be like, I

talked about that too much, didn't I, on the episode?

And so many people in the comments will be

like, that was amazing.

I love talking about that.

I like people who are so open about it.

I'm always like battling that stuff in my brain.

I'm like, I just wanna be fun and I want people to

like me and I want to eat

food.

Do you think in the way that say a lot of your OG

viewers might say, I missed the old JackSepticEye

and I think you've taken the right response of No,

you missed the old you.

You missed the old way that you felt when

you didn't have enough pressure?

I would take a caveat with that.

Okay.

'cause I said that that's kind of like the buzzwordy thing.

Mm.

And there's truth in it.

But it that absolves me of anything.

Yeah. Yeah.

It absolves me of any change, which is just

completely impossible to

do.

The way that you think about YouTube is in, I

miss when YouTube was fun.

I miss when YouTube was simple.

Is that you just missing your own life when you

thought it was more fun and simple without the pressure?

Partly, but I also miss pre COVID internet 'cause

I think everyone has so much more aggression to

every, there's no mediocrity doesn't exist anymore.

You're not allowed to be fine.

Yeah.

You either have to be absolutely incredible or

something has to be dog shit.

When you talk about something profound, you're, you're

not allowed to be fine.

Yeah, I think is maybe the most profound

thing that I've ever

heard.

And for people with mental health issues and

depression and anxiety and all that stuff, fine.

Is incredible.

Yeah.

That's a baseline you don't think you can get to.

And I think it's the same with like movies and games.

Like my job is not to play a game and love it.

Yeah.

My job is to play a game and feel it.

And give my thoughts as I'm playing it.

It's the like, I'm taking the ball and I'm going home.

It's like you're not allowed.

Just leave and not like a thing.

You have to like destroy everything on your way out and

make it not fun for everybody else as you're leaving.

Yeah.

Even when you're talking about how YouTube used

to be fun, you said the darkest time in your entire

life was YouTube 2017.

Yeah.

Right.

Spending Christmas alone grinding.

It didn't sound that fun at the time, so it's interesting

seeing this kind of slightly rose colored look back on it.

I don't, I don't necessarily think that it was YouTube.

I think I had just entered a change in my life.

Yeah.

I was in a bad relationship.

I think that was probably like 75% of the reason.

Yeah.

It's like I'm a person where my emotions

take over everything.

It's like my whole day is ruined based on that and I

can't push through it anymore to get past that, nor should

I, my, it's my body telling me something that is happening

and I feel like I need to listen to it and not push

myself through it, which in the past I would have.

Mm-hmm.

And

now I'm trying to like take lessons from younger

me and not be my dad,

which is the thing.

There's a quote, I can't remember the guy's name,

but it was an Austrian poet, first name Rhiner.

But it was to love somebody completely is so much the

entire point of life that doing every single other thing

is merely practiced for that.

And that seems to be a thing that we talk about.

Ancient wisdom looking back.

Yeah.

To truly love another person and be purely vulnerable

with that other person.

How do you, that's about as good as, how do you keep that

stuff on the dome?

I think about it a lot when I get in a really dark place.

Similarly, I, my mom committed suicide.

For the first time, somewhat recently, I actually

had those kind of thoughts where I think I got to that

age and I was like, oh no, we all do turn into our

parents in some regard.

Yeah.

No matter how much you try and pull away and say you're

different, but the thing that I keep coming back to is that

to love another person, so completely and love another

person more than yourself.

Do you have

that in your life right now?

I think I have people in my life that I

love quite heavily.

And I'm not always the best at expressing it for if this

episode isn't obvious enough.

But I think there's an element of me that just loves

people so much and wants to like see people do well and

just figure themselves out.

And maybe that'll help me in some regard.

But there are people in my life right now that I, I love

so completely that I, I dunno, it, it's one of those things,

like, until you feel it, it's like, it's hard to describe.

Sure.

You're a, you're a kid and you're like,

I love this person.

It's like.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's, it's what you think love is in that moment.

And right now I think I'm in that place where

I'm emotionally mature enough to like identify

what it is and be happy.

So it's always a struggle.

You never figure it out.

It's the pursuit of happiness.

It's not the destination of happiness.

No. That's

profound.

No, it's not.

It's bullshit.

What do you think happens when you die?

Um.

I think nothing happens.

And I think that that's why right now matters the most

because I grew up Catholic and everyone is waiting to

die so they can be truly happy and they're living

a life they don't want to.

And I think after you die, nothing happens.

Which is why right now is important to

like maximize and.

Try and find your happiness.

Nothing happened before I was born.

Nothing happens after I'm dead.

And that's fine.

You ready to get in the

lightning round?

Yes.

Who's the one person dead or alive?

You'd want to share your actual last meal with?

My dad.

Which song do you want played at your funeral?

Bury the light from Devil May Cry.

Five

Rank these gray hair icons, George Clooney.

Carl Marx Storm from X-Men Halle Berry version

storm from X-Men number one.

Um, Carl Marx couldn't give two shits about, couldn't

tell you what he, Marxism.

Yeah, he don't even know what that is.

Marxism is believing that workers should own the means

of production on a natural.

Oh, so he was chill?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was antifascist, I mean like depending

on what you think.

Okay.

So yeah, whatever the rest of 'em, who cares?

Bury them.

Sorry George, you're still alive.

But he dyed his hair for a movie roll and I'm like, you

shouldn't have done that.

Ocean's Elevens really good.

Who's the dream?

Who's your dream eulogize at your funeral?

Hit attack Miyazaki from, from software.

Because that means I did something good enough

with, uh, the souls games that he's there.

Oh shit.

Do you still believe in

Steve?

No.

What's your biggest fear?

Death.

Who's on your Mount?

Rushmore of metal drummers.

Uh, Jimmy, the Rev Sullivan from event Sevenfold.

Travis Smith from Trivium.

Danny Carey from Tool and, uh, Mario Deponte from Go Jira.

And me just sticking my thumb up in the picture.

This,

what's your greatest regret in life?

Uh, not going for some things that I really wanted because

of fear of confidence.

Are you happy?

Yes, but I have a lot of stuff to figure out

and I could be happier.

I'm not living my true self.

I put it that way.

If you had to put a date on when you think you will be

living your true self, then we can go back to that date and

see if it actually happens.

Throw one out there, throw a

dart 2030, cause I'll be 40 and if I haven't figured

it out then god dammit.

Midlife crisis continues baby.

That's been JackSepticEye Sean McLaughlin, if you

wanna deliver your last words to that camera right

there.

Hey, love yourself.

'cause you have to stay in here all the time and no

one else knows you better than you know yourself.

I'm not locked in here with you.

You're locked in here with me is what I say to myself

in the mirror every morning.

Similar vibes.

Okay.

And then you go pump iron and eat so much food.

Sean, I really appreciate this man.

This is an incredible conversation.

Thank you.

I had a lot of

fun. Thanks for having me on.

You're welcome back anytime to complete your midlife crisis.

Talk about dead dad.

So I'll be back

in 2030 to eat more food and.

I have nothing figured out.

Is your mom still alive?

Yes.

Come back when she dies.

The mythical cookbook is finally here.

Order your copy now at mythicalcookbook.com

and make any kitchen a Mythical Kitchen.

Please choose the correct answer for each question below: