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I want chilies.
I want Applebees.
Isn't that the same thing?
How dare you? This is a hot dog as a
sandwich.
Ketchup is a smoothie.
Yeah, I put ice in my cereal. So what?
That makes no sense.
A hot dog is a sandwich.
A hot dog is a sandwich.
What?
Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a
Sandwich. The show we break down the
world's biggest food debates. I'm your
host, Josh Shar.
And I'm your host, Nicole. And I
And Nicole, that was a very
controversial and brave thing that you
said. There's no difference.
There has Okay, what we're about to find
out is if there is a difference.
There's no difference between the two
restaurants.
Let's break down why we have all of this
stuff in front of us, right? So, we did
a podcast about a month back. We did a
podcast some time back. Who knows how
time works anymore.
I don't.
About how apparently I how any time
works.
About how Gen Z saved Chili. You were
sick for this one. We had Trevor come in
and sub in as the official Gen Z
representative that we have here. And
Chili's has been on this like massive
cultural wave and renaissance lately.
It really has been. It's so impressive.
Literally like up 30% over the last
year, up 50% over the last 3 years.
Which leads the question, porcho
Applebees.
I I No one talks about Applebees. It's
all chili all the time. And maybe we
need to change that.
Porceno manzanabes.
No. How do you say bee in Spanish?
How do you say like a bumblebee?
Megita por favore translation on Google.
said bumblebee in Spanish. But because
in my mind, apple bees and chilies are a
little bit the same thing. But this
pastor ao
abbeoro
abberoro
aboro
abberoro mansana mansana de a aboro
I also kind of view Applebees and
chilies as the same thing.
They aren't they both like
Applebees does not repax per se. Chili
does, but they but they do obviously
because they have cas. That's also just
kind of like American food at this
point.
At this point, quesadilla is a
quesadilla.
You know what I mean? Um, but there's a
reason that when Valentine's Day 2025
rolled around, Julie and I never thought
about going to Applebee's. We thought
about going to Chili's. So, this I think
will answer the question of is the
Chili's Renaissance merely because of
marketing? Is it because of Jenz's weird
postironic
kind of uh fake nostalgia for the early
2000s and Chili's just happened to like
be the one that they chose? or is there
an actual difference because Chili's did
some menu revamping and a lot of quality
control and I want to see if it pays
off.
You don't know if Applebee's did any of
that?
Not to my knowledge or at least it
wasn't as heavily publicized cuz they've
been running their own specials, right?
The two for 25 at Applebee's. Everyone
knows I saw an ad for that last night
and it was what a great ad. 10 out of 10
ad on that.
Yeah.
What are you seeing from the visual
differences cuz tell us about the food
that we have. So, I would say I'll say
this. Out of all of the portions, I will
say that the Applebee's portions that
are on Josh's size side are much smaller
than the Chili's
portion sizes. What we have in front of
us is appetizers,
a rack of ribs, a burger and fries, and
a dessert.
Before the food gets completely cold, we
should
It's cold. It's ice cold. I'm sorry. I
heated it up. I Let me tell you what
happened. I was heating it up. I had a
hot hot flash. had to take my shirt off.
Literally, our former director, Ben, had
to help me microwave stuff cuz I was
literally suffering.
Oh, I'm sorry. It's fine. I've been
there.
I don't know where you Where are you
ever?
I don't know.
Where are you now that I need you?
I don't know the song. Let's dig into
the appetizers, though. Let's jump in.
We have Chili's Triple Dipper over
there.
Yes.
Tell us about what we got in the Triple
Dip.
The Triple Dipper. It has boneless
buffalo wings. Are you okay?
I dipped my arm into the chocolate
icing. I triple dipped my whole forearm
into the fudge icing.
Let me Let me shellac it off.
Do you want me to eat it?
Did it make it worse? No. I know. I
don't want you to do that.
Nicole is scraping chocolate frosting
off of my forearm with the blade of a
dull knife.
Tell them about the appetizers while I
wipe myself down.
Okay. So, from both places. So, so from
Chili's we have boneless buffalo wings,
mozzarella sticks. They're Southwest egg
rolls. And then on the Applebee side, we
have mozzarella sticks, boneless buffalo
wings, some celery, and a quesadilla.
If you look at the mozzarella sticks
from chilies, these are not sticks.
These are gigantic logs. These are
planks.
And when they're actually hot and fresh
at the store,
but can I tell you something? I think
mozzarella sticks are so overrated. I
love the planks. The planks do a good
job.
I agree. And the planks give you such a
massive cheese pull and such a
satisfying dunk. These are one of those
things that is like a very a very it's
become a hallmark for the Chili's car
eating social media posting experience.
Mhm.
I will say the thing about mozzarella
sticks that irks me is that the cheese
doesn't taste like anything. It's a very
very bland cheese. Good stretch, zero
flavor. Now what I want us to do is one
day
come up with a cheese that's flavorful
that has the same amount of stretch as
mozzarella.
Oh, that's interesting. What if you
marinated a feel like we talked about
doing this one day and we never did like
heavily marinating a
m I think we made a show about it.
Did we?
Oh no.
I don't like it.
Mozzarella stick for mozzarella stick.
Chili's it even looks better. It looks
handbredded. I I I don't know if it is.
I'm not sure if this is being done in
the store in a factory.
Yeah,
the chili's one like looks like
something homemade. You go to your
Italian American friend's house,
right? His mama.
They're not doing it.
Mama Jeppa domino,
right? Juice
Jeppa Domino.
That is such a fake name.
That's one of my favorite Trevor bits
where he talks about talks about Mama
Domino.
Mhm.
How she makes a good pizza.
Her first name is Jeppa.
I've named her Jeppa. Um the mozzarella
in the Chili's one feels like more of a
proper like whole milk or moisture moss.
Whereas the one inside
Applebees tastes like freaking string
cheese.
Tastes like Costco.
Tastes like tastes like tastes like
string cheese to me. This seems like
string cheese logs they breaded.
Really disappointing. That's
interesting.
Really disappointing.
Okay, move on to the boneless wings.
Okay,
these are boneless buffalo wings,
right?
Sorry, there's no ranch.
That's kind of dipping it in marinara.
There is ranch. I just don't know where
it is. That's fine.
What are you What are you tasting in the
chili boneless wing?
Nothing.
I mean, boneless buffalo wings I could
just eat all day. To me, it's like the
perfect seasoned food
really. That is so underwhelming for me.
In what way?
The chilies. It It has no sauce. It has
absolutely baked into the actual like
outside crust.
I like that.
No, I don't like that. I need a little
bit of I need a little bit of I I'm down
with the sogg. I have no problem with
the sogg. It's the flavor of said sogg.
There is no flavor in said sogg.
The Applebee's ones look more heavily
seasoned.
They look so much better. And they have
a little bit They have more of a buffalo
taste. Much more of a buffalo taste.
Which one of these tastes more like it
just came out of a freezer bag?
Applebees.
It does, right? But the seasoning is
better on it.
The seasoning is better, but it kind of
tastes more
The chicken is better
processed.
The chicken is better at chilies. The
seasoning is better at applebe.
Which one of these boneless buffalo
wings would you rather eat?
I would rather eat Applebee's because it
tastes better.
I would rather eat chilies.
I disagree.
It feels like there's better quality
control. It feels like a person made it
and you care about that.
We don't
a little bit
a little bit. When you go to a
restaurant, right? Like if you are just
getting Applebees and chilies work on
such massive scales, right? I remember
maybe the worst restaurant meal of my
life was at the College Station
Applebees. Do you know College Station?
Never heard of College Station.
It's where Texas A&M University is.
There is, forgive me for all the College
Station nights out there. Nothing else
in the area other than College Station
Texas and Texas&M University.
Wait, it's a city. College Station USA.
City is called College Station Texas.
That's right. Texas A&M as the
agricultural and military university.
Okay.
And I went to an Applebee's there and I
ordered I was trying to get some like
protein. It was when I was on the track
and field team
and I ordered a steak and it was just an
unidentifiable cut that did not exist
anywhere.
Glue galore.
Well, I cannot explain to you.
So, like when you're working at those
scales, it's so hard to get this
consistency without it just being like a
factory
shipping frozen stuff to a store. So,
you're kind of like working in this
weird dynamic where by definition, if
you want consistency, it has to be
pre-made. But also, people don't just
want to show up to a restaurant and feel
like they're being given something that
was heated up out of a bag.
Apparently, the chains wings are voted
America's favorite boneless swing in a
blind taste test in early 202.
No, Applebees.
Applebees.
I'm telling you, the Applebee's flavor
knocks it out of the park.
You just don't like the texture of it.
Maybe I got a kind of gristly one.
Maybe you got a gristly one.
You can see how much more like white
meat there is, which normally that's not
that important to It's not important to
me in buff in any sort of boneless
buffalo wing. But for some reason, you
think it's it's important.
I don't know. Let's move on to their um
what would you call this?
This is an egg roll.
Well, it's not an egg roll. So, chili
southwest egg roll. It's in a tortilla,
right?
Is it? What a fun food.
This is a tortilla. This is called a
chim chunga.
Oh, what a fun food.
And then a southwestern chimmy chonga is
redundant.
This is just a little chimmy chunga.
It's filled with what? Spinach, cheese,
uh, uh, corn, black beans,
all the delicious things. This is a
hallmark. This is OG chilies. This is
like what made chilies.
Absolutely delicious.
It reeks so heavily of cumin. I love it.
So cumin. Whatever R&D chef made this.
Brava. Delicious.
You know what it is? It's the roasted
red pepper, corn, and black bean combo.
That was like every single 1990s
southwest something. Taco Bell even had
a chalupa that had like black beans and
corn in it.
Southwest chalupa.
Santa Fe Chalupa.
That's so funny.
Back in the day.
RIP. This is delicious. What What What
do we have here from the Applebees?
It's a quesadilla stuffed with tomato,
onion, cilantro, and chicken.
Do you remember what they call this?
Which is like southwestern delight
quesadilla.
I'm going to look it up right now.
It doesn't hold a candle. It can't.
Completely different.
Entirely different.
Absolutely. Warm tortilla with chipotle
lime chicken, blend of melted cheddar
cheeses, and I see tomato, onion, and
cilantro in here.
So, the triple dipper combo from
Chili's. Also, do you know there's no
combo
customizable? It's customizable.
It's customizable, too, which is fun.
That gives people like a feeling of
control.
Mhm.
You know, it's it's it's it was
responsible for something like 16% of
their entire store sales, which is crazy
considering they have
100 items on that freaking menu.
Um, and there's a lot of liquor sales.
Mhm.
And I understand why. like it is really
well done. The mozzarella sticks are
fantastic. I think the Buffalo the
boneless buffalo wings are great. The
sauce are good. The Southwest egg rolls
an icon. Nothing to me from Applebees.
The the boneless wings are good. I'll
give you that.
Yeah.
Like they're tasty.
But you go like tortilla southwest
product for tortilla southwest product.
Ms. For ms
chilies to me like smokes it. The triple
dipper is the truth. There's so much
care and detail that went into this,
and you can taste it, which you don't
always expect from a joint like
Applebee's or Chili's, but Chili's
knocks out of the park. The triple
dipper absolutely beats out the
Applebee's appetizer combo.
What a treat. Appetizer round.
Chili's wins and away.
I It's It's always really heartening to
me.
Okay, put that over there.
When someone
when a big fast food chain like tries to
make sweeping food changes and it pays
off.
Sure. Yeah, it's always impressive.
Talk a lot about the Domino's 2008 menu
revamp.
Sure.
Should we eat some burgers?
My body is really
So, the burgers were another part of
Chili's of Chili's revamp, right?
Where they were like, we want to compete
with fast food because fast food's so
expensive. So, Chili's really attacked
the fast food industry saying like,
"Hey,
come into Chili's for a sitown meal.
We'll treat you like a human." And our
burgers cost $10 and a fast food burger
cost $8 now,
right?
You know what I mean? The Chili's burger
is called the oldtimer burger and the
Applebee's burger is called the
neighborhood burger. Isn't that so
sweet?
I'm g cut this Applebee's burger out.
Go ahead. It looks like the Applebee's
burger is a double patty.
Double smash burger at Applebee's.
Look at that. Who would have fun?
Chili's also has a smash burger. We
didn't get it right.
No, we got I went off of names.
I went off of names because I'm sorry,
oldtimer burger and the neighborhood
burger. That's the same burger.
I agree with that. I agree with that.
Yeah. It also kind of looks a little
smashy.
Chili's burger looks nice, right?
The Chili's burger is wide.
Bring back wide ass bar burgers.
It is a wide set burger.
Okay.
What are you going to eat first?
I'm going Applebee's.
Okay.
So, they tried to smash. They got the
heavy lace.
Uh-huh.
On the outside, but
the patties aren't smashed thin enough.
So, to me, you kind of get a little bit
the worst of both worlds where you're
smashing all the juice out of a thick
patty, and it's only the outsides that
are crispy. Not only that, look at this
like weird crust on the bottom of just
like old grill.
It's giving grayge. It's giving grayge.
I'm not gray.
It's gray and beige.
Still tastes pretty decent. I like the
pickle pop. I like the pickle that they
use.
Mhm.
Meat tastes fine.
There are these funny things in food.
Mhm.
Where like
it's in the margins, right? It's in It's
the devil's in the details for certain
things. Like a smash burger. The reason
you love a smash burger isn't just
because you're like smashing it and
getting the lacy crust, whatever, but
it's because you're then smashing it
thin because a smash burger by
definition is going to lose moisture. So
that like crispiness
needs to like overcome it.
More press. There's not enough press.
Too much rest or it's in between. It's
in a It's in a bad middle, right? It's
in shape.
Yeah. Hey, Applebees, smash them down a
little bit harder.
What about the fries? Cuz Chili's put a
lot of time into revamping their fries.
There's a whole story about the salt.
Those taste pretty good.
Applebee's fries taste delicious.
Not a bad fry.
Not a bad fry.
They do.
Chili's fries.
They look eerily similar.
I don't like that.
You don't like chili fries? Chili's
fries are bigger. And I think they cut
down on their amount.
Bigger doesn't always mean better for
French fries.
No, it doesn't. This is what I'd want,
though. This tastes like a freshly fried
fry. It's actually less salty, which is
funny because they they changed up the
way they salt their fries to get more
salt on them.
You know what I'm learning about me and
you? I like the flavors and you like the
pure expression of the food.
Are you sure about that?
You just Yeah, because this the
seasoning on the Applebee's fry is much
better than the seasoning
on the chili fry. But the cook on the
chili fry is better than the Applebee's
cook.
I think to me, you know what I'm
actually looking for? What?
I'm looking for a difference between
this and fast food.
Why?
Because I think the fast casual
restaurant, like the thing that it
occupied for me
was to be that fancy sitdown restaurant
where you're treated like a human,
right? Where you can walk in for if you
only have a budget of 20 bucks a person.
You can walk in for like a graduation,
right? For a pre-p prom dinner, for a
birthday when times are tight, and you
can have somebody come up to you and
smile at you
and say like, "Hey, would you like to
try our special?" and go, "Oh my god,
it's 2 for 25. Yay." That's a different
relationship than going into like a
Carl's Jr. being like, "Let me eat my
burger alone in this corner or in my
car."
Sure.
And so for like a fry, like I I want
like a big
thick fry. I don't want it to taste like
fast food.
I don't know. I'm I'm so I'm so like
torn because I understand where you're
coming from, but I don't I don't love
the thickness. I don't need my fries
thick.
I don't need them to be like this thick
potatoey center.
Yeah. Yeah. I kind of appreciate the
light crisp of a smaller fry.
Different strokes for different folks on
that one. The burger is interesting
because the sm the double smash is very
much meant to be a fast food burger,
right?
This is like a proper like diner bar
burger at Chili's.
I just got a huge bite of tomato.
Look how juicy that
ruined my whole day.
What do you mean?
Oh my god. It was all tomato. No
seasoning, no flavor.
The cook on the burger is really nice
with chilies.
The cook is good, but there's no
seasoning on it. Zero zilch nada.
The human error, dude. That's the human
error. Like, if you're cooking your food
fast
and you like that.
No, no, no, no, no. I I'm saying this is
bad.
This is bad.
The burger is not good. I think if this
burger patty was seasoned well, I think
it'd be solid.
Yeah.
But yeah, there's not an ounce of
seasoning on that meat.
That's really disappointing.
It makes the whole thing fall flat.
Would you take that Apple Bees burger
over the Chili's burger?
Yes. Any day. That ch That Chili's
burger was disappointing. Absolutely
disappointing.
I think it's better constructed. I think
it's a better constructed burger.
No way. Are you going to give the point
to Chili's for an unseasoned burger
patty right now?
We give it to We give it to Applebee's.
It belongs the point to Applebees.
It belongs to Applebees. No, be real.
The salt factor and the taste factor is
I would rather eat the Chili's burger
than the Applebee's burger.
Stop it. I don't How are you How are you
like this,
dude? Try this burger.
Okay,
it's not a good burger.
They're neither of them are good
burgers. Neither of them are good.
But at least just tastes like meat. I
just taste like burger.
It's a fair point.
That just tastes like cow.
What do you mean? What do you mean this
tastes like burger? That tastes like
cow.
Burger and Okay.
Burger is cow.
No way. Applebee's takes this.
I accept. I accept that Applebee's taste
it.
Dude, there's an aftertaste in that
burger.
You bite this and you're like, I just
ate a big bowl of gray. I don't know why
gray is on my mind so much.
Baby back.
My baby back. Baby back. Baby, I want my
baby back. Baby, I want my baby back.
Chilies,
baby back ribs,
a barbecue sauce.
There it is.
This is what they're known for. I don't
think I've eaten baby back ribs at
Chili's.
I don't think I've ever had ribs like
this. Oh my god. Oh my god. What are you
doing?
I'm trying to cut the ribs, but they're
tough.
Oh no.
Oh my. Here. Grab a double boner ribs.
Jesus.
A double boner for Nicole. Her favorite.
Oh my god, it's so dry.
Because of how iconic the Chili's baby
back ribs song is. I don't know anyone
that like goes to Chili for ribs, right?
That moment in time has passed. When do
you ever go to a restaurant for ribs? I
only go for barbecue. If I'm at a
barbecue joint, I'll go. There's a
couple like old school spots near me
that are like the sitown steakhouse
style that are like known for their
quote oven baked spare ribs.
Are those pork or beef?
Pork. M
glazian barbecue sauce. And I would
never order them. I think it's like of a
different era.
Yeah, I agree.
The type of person who's like, "Oh,
we're going out to this nice steakhouse
for their oven baked spare ribs." Like,
no one does that.
Like, what is this, a Korean War, like
1953? You know, I'm looking forward to
the nuclear age. This is bizarre. Um,
no. If you want ribs, you go to a
barbecue spot.
Exactly.
Are these um
love the flavor?
Flavor's good.
That is good. That sauce is dimensional.
Multi-dimensional. Applebees has a good
sauce.
Applebee's knows what it's doing.
How much better do the chili ribs look
than the Applebee's ribs?
20 times better.
So much better.
So much better. They're not desiccated.
Yeah. Will they rip? Oh, hi.
That's how ribs should rip. Apple I mean
chilies.
Another
Okay. This is where
Come on. This is where the cook
absolutely trumps any sort of flavor.
Yeah, I do agree. The apple bees are
better seasoned.
The apple bees, dude, their seasoning
game is on lock. Their cook time is just
all wrong.
It's so wrong that the the Apple be ribs
are so tough. So, they're but they're
dry and tough, which means they're both
cooked for too short and too long.
Too long.
Again, just like missing that sweet spot
where food is great.
Wow. The chilies chilis baby back ribs
and barbecue sauce. Maybe we should be
eating Chili's ribs. That's
I think we should go I think we should
go to Chili's, get their oven baked
spare ribs, you know, drinking
oldfashioned.
Are we going into war anytime soon?
Uh-oh.
Is America going into war? Write in the
comments if America's going to war soon.
If it is, by stocking ovenbaked spare
ribs,
cuz that's the time they boom, baby. Uh,
easy win for chilies, right?
Wow. Chilies. These ribs were crazy.
I I don't love ribs that like fall off
the bone. And these don't.
This is something that I've learned
about you. You like your ribs to have
some integrity.
Yeah. You got to be able to pick up a
rib and actually like eat it like a corn
cob. Right. I don't It's It's too easy
to make rib meat fall off the bone.
You're right.
Anyone can do it, right?
It's an art form to be able to get it
the way it's tender enough to rip off of
the bone with a little bit of action
from your teeth.
This is the the ribs at chilies are damn
near like my ideal cook on it. Applebees
too tough. It's like you're uh just like
ripping at it, trying to rip the flesh
off the bone. Chilies, good job.
Great job, Chili's. Chili's is two for
one right now.
Excuse me.
Chili's has two points. Applebee's has
one point.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now we just got
dessert left.
Time for desserts.
Time for desserts.
I'm still eating my ribs. I didn't
The ribs are kind of like dessert.
I was in the middle of eating my lunch
and then I remembered that we were doing
this.
Oh yeah.
And I immediately just threw it in the
fridge. Said, "Nope, that's lit. That's
litter. That's dinner liner. I think all
the trans fats in the ribs are going to
my head.
Are you sure it's not wiping your body
with Lysol wipes?
Oh, this podcast brought to you podcast
brought to you by Lysol surface wipes
that I've been using on the surface of
my body.
Well, I'm using Great Value ones because
I like to ball on a budget.
Those ones were bought after Mythical
Company budget cuts.
Like no more name brand surface wipes
for the surface of Josh's hands.
I don't think wiping our hands with
Lysol wipes is good for us.
Ah, can't be.
But we keep doing it.
What are you going to do?
Nothing.
Why these look so different? These are
the same dessert.
Yeah, they're molten chocolate cake.
Both companies decided that
I did not get it. Alam mode. Sorry,
Josh.
No, I don't. I think Alamode desserts
are kind of really overrated.
Okay, that's ugly of you.
That's my hot take.
That's your hot take.
That's my hot take.
Okay. All mode is almost never as good
as you want it to be.
Let's see if this Applebee's molten
chocolate cake is This looks like it was
um You ever get the the desserts at
Carl's Jr.?
Never. I have a family that
I'm just kidding.
Let me rephrase that. I've eaten every
single dessert at Carl's Jr. So, um
they've one I think they have the best
handspun shakes in the game. Carl Jr.
did a really good job on revamping that.
Uh they've done some fun desserts like
the Pop-Tart ice cream sandwich is good,
but the old school Carl Jr. desserts are
just like piece of chocolate cake and
it's just like in a plastic unmarked bag
and they just like throw it at you. They
have like a strawberry cheesecake
and it looks like this.
Maybe it's made in the same facility.
It might be. But this this looks like
this was made in a factory that they put
in a microwave and put some sauces on,
right?
Yeah.
Why doesn't the Chili's cake look the
same? Am I being too generous to Chili's
right now?
I don't know what's wrong with you right
now.
I burp from the inside. That was a weird
feeling.
I feel like me and you are on drugs.
I We're not on drugs. We're on chilies,
baby.
I don't do pot. I do triple dipper
combos.
You're out here freebasing? Well, I'm
out here free baking up my chili, molten
chocolate cake, having a great time with
my friends. That's what I'm doing.
When's your birthday? June. No. April.
Damn, man. Hey, April 25th. I have no
idea when your birthday is. It's in May.
Your birthday's in May.
Yeah, you're 19th.
No,
you're a Gemini.
Yeah, but you're a Taurus. And but you
don't care about that. Um, we should
have your next birthday at Chili's.
No, I won't go cheese.
You want to shut down Chili's for your
birthday?
That would actually be really cool. How
much does it cost to shut down in
Chilies?
I'm sure you can find it. Why don't you
just tell corporate?
Corporate who?
Corporate Chilies.
What do you mean I just tell corporate
chilies? Who do you think I know?
would like to shut down whole restaurant
near Enino Commons for birthday, please.
Yeah, you
Yeah, the one near the Michaels.
Close mouths. Don't get fed.
What do you think of the cake?
Yum,
right? Yum. Why would I complain about
that?
It's the only thing it's missing.
Vanilla ice cream.
Yeah, it's a fair point. Um, chilies.
This one looks
This looks like a British pudding.
It does look like a British pudding. Is
this a caramel sauce or is this a
chocolate sauce?
It is both.
It's a caramel chocolate sauce.
It is separate both.
What?
It is a caramel sauce and a chocolate
sauce.
Interesting. This cake looks It looks
more homemade. Why?
Oh, yeah.
Not even a question.
No. So much better.
Oh, it's so much better.
It looks better.
It tastes better.
It tastes better. There's man, there's
something that happens to restaurants
where like I'm sure every single person
at Applebees when they were first
starting out had the intention of like
we're making good food for people,
right?
At some point it's like it's what
happened to Chipotle, you know, where
all one neuroirus and lististeria and
ecoli outbreak and suddenly
it's over.
Our whole our whole ethos was we cook
everything fresh in store. Suddenly you
got to start pre-cooking your steaks at
a commissary facility in Long Island.
Really disappointing. and you got to
start just sending them out pre-cooked
because you're like, "We can't take that
risk." At some point, you kind of like
look back
at all the foods you made and went,
"God, this is all just factory food."
But I think if you're like Chili's, you
can try and like reverse that. I'm sure
all of this I'm sure between Chili and
Applebees, they're probably getting
equal amounts of food that are just
shipped in frozen in bags or from other
third party bakeries, whatever.
But Chili's made you feel like the magic
is still there.
Absolutely.
And it's that trickery and chicainery
that I'm really looking for in a in a
chain restaurant.
I mean, I would go back for the ribs and
a triple dipper.
Mhm.
And this cake. I would go back for those
things.
I I really would, which is crazy because
remember how everyone was like, "Oh,
Mill, what is Did they say Gen Z was
killing uh chain restaurants?"
No, Millennials, we killed all the
chains.
They said we killed the chains. But now,
as a millennial, I think it's our job to
bring them back. I think it's only fair.
I won't go to Applebee's because they
lost abysmally. Chili's, you deserve all
the hype. You really do.
You know what I was thinking about the
other day?
Um that one time in 2015 when there were
random clowns running around uh scaring
people.
Oh, I was.
Yeah, I know you were.
I was. But I'm not I'm not afraid of
clowns.
I'm not afraid of clowns either. I'm
afraid of the people dressing up as
clowns terrorizing people at night.
Same. If anything, I'm I'm
disproportionately attracted to clowns.
Yeah. You think clowns are hot? Some
hot clowns are hot.
Crusty.
Not Crusty. No. I like him because he's
a good businessman. But Andy's Jewish.
The Jewish. I was going to say I was
going to say
No, I was going to say like our parents'
generation lamented the fact that mom
and pop stores on main street on main
streets were losing out to the big
chains. I thought about this when the
Joann's Fabrics near me closed and I was
like, "Oh, not Jo-Ann's. That was my
childhood." then realized how weird it
was that I was lamenting like a large
chain that was responsible for closing
out along a lot of local fabric stores,
right, that our parents hated. And then
now our generation is like not Jo-Ann's,
my sacred safe space, losing out to
online giants like Amazon or whomever,
you know, and so it's kind of weird to
like feel this affinity for these
gigantic chain restaurants who are doing
literally $4.5 billion dollars in sales
as like underdogs. But I would rather
root for them
than a what? A ghost kitchen. No, you
know what I mean?
I think I think as we are getting
further and further away from
God.
I was going to say hospitality.
Yeah.
And I I guess it's is it D to C? Is that
direct to consumer?
Like it's becoming more like that or is
it becoming what I'm trying to say is
the humanness of sitting down at eating
at a restaurant is an important thing
that I don't want to lose. and eating
foods from places like Chili's,
Applebee's, Cheesecake Factory, CPK. I
don't want to I don't want it to miss. I
don't want it to leave. I can't have it
leave, you know? It breaks my heart to
think about
the fact that someone's saying, "Hey,
can I take your order today?
Oh, you're back again." Like, I really
Mhm.
I feel like I'm really going to miss
that in like 15 years whenever I'm
getting my food to go from Mr. Beast's
Emporium Sigorium. You know what I mean?
It's really upsetting. But this food
made me realize that we can find those
moments of like true human interaction
and we can enjoy it.
Mr. Beast Gorium's Wonderburger porium.
That's what it's called.
Yeah,
that's what it's called.
Yeah. I found God in this chili tonight.
Nicole.
Okay, Pam.
[Music]
All right, Nicole. Heard what you and I
have to say. Now it's time to find out
whether the wacky ring near the earth.
Time for the segment we call opinions
are like casserole.
[Music]
That's right, Nicole.
That's right.
I spit. I spit everywhere.
I don't feel so good.
I feel bad.
What the people missed was outside. So,
we cleaned up the table. We had a lot of
chilies and apple bees here. And then
what I went ahead and did is outside we
have a cart with all the stuff. There's
a little tub of There's a little tub of
spinach artich choke dip that we didn't
use.
I decided to not put in.
No, that was a good move. And so you
we'll eat it. We give it up. But what I
did is I took a corner of the burger,
the unseasoned one, and I said, "Well,
maybe maybe we can season it with
spinach artich choke dip." And so what I
went ahead and did is I
dipped that whole burger into the tub of
spinach artich choke dip. And then I bit
into it and then I went
and I sucked the spinach artich choke
dip through the
Listen, I'm down with a spinach artich
choke dip burger. Just season your damn
meat.
Okay, ready for the first opinion?
Let's do it.
Hey, Josh Nicole. My name's Rocco.
Calling from Madison, Wisconsin.
I have a question for Nicole.
What's a dish that you are looking
forward to teaching your child how to
cook? For me, I cannot wait to show my
2-year-old eventually how to make
homemade bread and homemade pasta. So
cute.
But yeah, what's uh what's something
that you're looking forward to teaching
uh teaching your your child how to uh
how to make at whatever age you might
be? Love you guys and uh love the show.
Hope you guys have a great day. Bye-bye.
Wow, great question. I've never thought
about this at all. I'm going to go ahead
and say lemonade stand. Is that Is that
bad?
What?
Lemonade stand. You ever did a lemonade
stand as a kid? You're excited to teach
your child how to make the dish Lemonade
Stand.
I thought I literally I thought Lemonade
Stand was like a regional dessert that I
wasn't familiar with.
You were so mean right now.
I'm not being mean.
No, it I want to teach cuz I grew up in
an apartment and my mom wasn't always
like, "Hey, go like she wasn't like,
"Hey, hang out at the corner." Like, you
know what I mean? So, I would like my
kid to have a lemonade stand outside of
their house and to understand like
dealing with people and talking with
people and making a good cup of
lemonade. Is that stupid? That's
literally my instinct.
A second answer. Spicy dude crispy rice.
You're a three-year-old child. Here's
how you put sticky rice into a deep
fryer.
Exactly.
I love that.
Chop it up faster. Faster. No. Um, I
thought they were going to ask, "What am
I looking forward to eating once I'm
done being pregnant?"
Spicy tuna crispy rice.
And let me tell you what I'm going to
do. Let me tell you what I'm going to
do. I'm going to have a margarita in one
hand. I'm going to have a deli sandwich
in the other hand. And with my left
foot, I'm going to hold a cigarette. And
then with my right foot, I'm going to
hold
another cigarette. bowl. Just a bowl of
spicy tuna, spicy salmon, and spicy
yellowtail on a bed of rice with some
avocado and some cucumbers. Literally,
you're literally those are my four
vices, and I'm just going to be passing
through each one every 15 minutes.
I need I need the camera to come here
because I want to tell you a little bit
about my lemonade stand base trauma. So,
we had a really incredible racket going
on. My dad worked at a 99 cent store in
Oceanside, California. And what he did
is, well, he would shoplift a bunch of
stuff from there. And so he would
shoplift the Country Time lemonade. He
would give it to me and my brother, pink
lemonade, and then we would mix that
with the appropriate amount of water and
then we would put that in a giant gallon
pitcher. And then we would sell cups of
lemonade for a dollar outside of the 99
cent store that he stole that from in
the first place. So he was stealing that
99 cent thing of Country Time Lemonade.
Me and my brother were turning that
probably into about 32 bucks. And that's
pure profit right there, baby. But then
the owner found out and he got really
mad at us because Yeah, we were like
stealing from him technically. So, I'm
probably never going to uh teach my kids
how to do a lemonade stand.
Hey, but what if you buy the Country
Time lemonade powder?
Yeah, but also I would I would want them
to make it fresh. I would want to be
like, "Hey, here's how
maybe fresh." Okay. Yeah, maybe it's
fresh. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah,
I don't know where I'm going to be at in
When do you sell lemonade as a child? 4
7
I'm saying the probably like 8 to 11
right now.
8 to 11. Yeah.
Younger. No. No. Younger. Maybe that's
when you started.
Younger. Yeah. We were probably like We
probably I was probably seven. My
brother's probably
I'll probably stand and watch them. I'm
not going to just let him hang out next
to the 99 cent store.
Yeah. We were there. No supervision.
Well, my dad was working inside, you
see. And so, we were outside.
I don't think that's how I'm going to do
it.
Yeah. You shouldn't.
I don't want to. But
every time I see a lemonade stand now, I
get a little bummed.
A Well, how about this? I'm going to
make a really cute stand. I'm going to
teach my daughter. I'm having a girl.
I'm going to teach her how to like build
it out and stuff. And she's going to
handw write the sign and all that stuff.
And then you can come get some lemonade
from her and it'll heal all of your
wounds if not one of them.
A it'll work.
One by one.
It'll work. Just have an open mind.
I will.
Therapy without paying anybody. That's
what this is.
The only person I'm paying is your
daughter for her lemonade.
Yeah. And she's not going to like
upcharge you. She'll be like, "Okay,
Uncle Josh." You know, it'll be fine.
Next question. It's longer than I
thought.
That'll be 02 E.
Hi. So, me and my sisters, I have three
sisters. And growing up, we used to get
those uh TV dinners. They were like the
banquet ones where it was fish
stickicks, mac and cheese, and chocolate
pudding.
Mhm. And my sister, she would mix all
three of them together and she would
insist that it was the best thing that
she's like ever had. And of course, me
and my other sister were very skeptical
and we were like, "Ew, that's so gross."
Until we tried it and it's amazing.
And I was just wondering if there's any
sort of like food science behind that.
if those like compliment each other in
some odd way or if we're just freaks who
like goop.
Thank you.
Well, I'm a freak that likes goop, but
that's Gwennneth Paltro's macrobiotic
deli.
Would you call it a deli?
I think it's more of a restaurant.
What did they say? I totally blacked
out.
So, the banquet fish stickick meal one.
I grew up eating a ton of banquet TV
dinners.
Fish stick was not and we're close to my
top five. country fried steak.
Okay,
that was in the top five. They had
something just called just called rib
meal that was like a McRib style patty
sitting in barbecue sauce. Um
but the fish stick, my problem was there
were equally cheap fish sticks that were
better that you could just make
as a standalone dinner like Gorton.
Yeah. Or whatever the generic
Gorton or Gordon.
Gorton.
Is it there's a tea in there?
Trust the Gortons fisherman. No, Vandys.
Bandandy Camps was the uh quintessential
fish stick brand, but the banquet fish
stick meal came with chocolate pudding,
macaroni and cheese, and fish stickicks.
I cannot imagine maybe a objectively and
I think even scientifically a worse
combination of foods.
This person would mix fish. What would
they mix? Tell me.
Fish sticks, mac and cheese, and
chocolate pudding.
Listen, man. Whenever your cool sister
does something and you're like, "She's
cool, man. and you have no choice but to
accept it and also think it's cool. Like
when my sister used to wear body
glitter, I was like, I want body
glitter. It's very normal.
So like chicken strips meal, right?
Let's look at banquet chicken strips
meal in elite banquet meal. Not all of
these came with a dessert. For some
reason, fish sticks did. But chicken
strips
cuz they felt bad cuz the fish sticks
were probably gross. I'm like, here's
some chocolate pudding so you feel
better.
Chicken strips meal is corn mac and
cheese chicken strips. little fried just
patties that got super soggy but they're
super well salted. You mash all that
into a paste.
I think that's almost a perfect paste.
That's a really really good paste,
right?
Cuz you get like the salty uh uh
proteinrich brined chicken, right?
Sweetness of the corn and then you get
this like pleasant carbohydrate chew and
the glutamates of the cheese. Like
there's a lot of science going on in
there that makes it very good. Okay. To
me, it's the aromomas of fish,
chocolate, and cheddar cheese that to
me, none of those three things go
together.
I agree. I think that's gross.
But maybe it's like when you mix the
entire soda fountain together.
No, man.
You know, and it's like the fun you had
doing it.
No, no. It's It's just older sister
hype. If you had an older sister, you
would get it.
Yeah. There there might be a scientist
who's smarter than us who can tell you
like, well, actually the the phenols of
the chocolate blah blah. We don't. We're
not that smart. We're not smart enough
to mash fish sticks with chocolate
pudding.
Not smart enough.
Oh my goodness, that was funny.
It's not funny. It's sexy.
I just wanted to say that I like your
show and
um
I just wanted to get your take on what
is more
get it together.
More say it
spiciest food in the world. Um, I think
the spiciest dishes I've ever had were
at Thai restaurants. And I used to think
that Mexican was kind of spicy, but not
anymore. That's my take on it.
Banquet sweet and sour chicken. Siren.
So on the banquet, that was deceptively
a banger. It just had this kind of like
sweet corn syrupy sauce in it. God, so
good.
Spiciest cuisines in the world. This is
very interesting.
Le Oceanian is the spiciest I've ever
had and I'll stand by it.
I It's really interesting because I've
talked everyone knows the idea of hey do
you want let's say mild, medium hot or
Thai spicy. Yes.
And if if waiter says Thai spicy that
means like this is the real way that
Thai people eat this dish. Normally we
wouldn't even offer it to a non- Thai
person. Um but you know you're there
we're going to do it. Uh recently my my
white friend tried to order Thai spicy
at a restaurant and he was there with my
Indian friend. Shout out to shout out to
Deep Nyak. Love you. Just got married.
The Thai waiter like shot a look to Deep
as just like a non-white person to be
like, "Hey, is your white lying?"
White lying actually handle his stuff.
Is your white lying?
What I have heard from a couple Thai
chefs is it's almost the opposite where
they are making their food almost
spicier than it would exist in Thailand.
just because white people will taste
very very spicy Thai food and go, "Oh my
god, it's so authentic."
Yeah. Yeah.
Right. And so I've actually heard it
pressured that way, which I think is
really interesting. And a lot of Mexican
chefs I've talked to um have, you know,
talked about how
like chilies in Mexico,
they're not meant to really be like
spicy spicy spicy.
They're meant for like fragrance.
They're meant for fragrance and flavor.
And hell, they started as medicine. And
so I've had certainly a ton of spicy
Mexican food, a lot of spicy Thai food.
But I think a lot of this like this is
supposed to be very spicy in everything
is a little overblown in certain ways.
Sure. I agree with you. But do you have
an answer for them?
Thai.
Thai.
I had a funny experience though at
speaking of deep at Deep's wedding,
right? We were eating just tons of
delicious Gujarati and Punjabi food
everywhere and there's of course you
know the sweet tamarind chutney and the
green chutney everywhere. um as a little
when we're doing choreographed dance
practice, they ordered a bunch of like
Middle Eastern food and it came with aug
and all the old relatives see which
looks almost identical to the green
chutney and they're like cool. And
they're just kind of splashing it all
over their falafel and it was really
really spicy and so every Indian
relative that ate the was warning mostly
the white people
spicy.
Hey, watch out that chutney is hot.
So yeah, I've had a lot of really hot
West African food. My aunt from Sagal
makes this just like incredible scotch
bonnet sauce.
Um,
yeah, I'd say Tai still probably takes
it though.
Hi Josh and Nicole. Longtime listener,
big time fan. And I don't really have an
opinion. I more of have a question. My
name is Meline from New York, the state,
not the city. And you guys always have
the most interesting book
recommendations. And I would like your
alltime comprehensive list of all of the
very like influential books about food
that you guys have read in your larger
adult and post teen life. Thank you.
Have a great day. Wow. Wow.
I'm so sorry. I don't read books
anymore.
Yeah,
I tried to. I Something's wrong with me.
It's an attention span thing. I think I
might have undiagnosed ADHD. I have to
figure it out. Um, I'm on my phone 10 to
11 hours a day. It's really bad. And I
don't read anymore, but I miss reading.
I bought books to read. I bought two
books that I thought I'd be very
interested in. And I read only 20 pages
of one of them. The other one is
collecting dust next to my freaking bed.
What's it called? Bed bedstand. Bedstand
table. Bed table.
I don't know if you read books, maybe
you know what it was called.
You didn't say that in your pick.
I hate you. I hate you.
But yeah, I don't read anymore. So, I'm
going to let Josh take this. I hate
myself.
It's very flattering. I recently went
back and reread um uh uh Kitchening
Confidential by Anthony Bourdain and
Medium Raw by Anthony Bourdain and like
it's such a fantastic moment in time. He
actually shouts out in uh in Medium Raw,
one of my favorite books about not food
but restaurants of all time, Down and
Out in Paris and London by George
Orwell. Um another book that is
incredible is uh How to Cook a Wolf by
MFK Fischer. And these are all different
points in times like George Orwell is
written in I think the 20s. MFK Fischer,
I believe, was written, god, was it
during World War II? I think it was, but
kind of back in that era. Um, one of my
favorite modern food history books is
Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered
America by Gustavo Ariano. Um, that's an
incredible one. I think maybe the most
beautiful pros about food is written by
Ruth Rishel. I love Ruth Raichel so so
so much. Um, God, Garlic and Sapphires
is incredible, but she her newest book,
Save Me the Plums, I thought was really
really beautiful. And then for food and
politics, uh, food politics by Mary and
Nestle. Really, really great. Uh, what
else do I like? What are the books?
Sci-fi. The coffee book.
The Monk of Mocha.
Did you say that?
By Dave Edgars. Robert Edgars. Which one
of them directs horror movies?
Robert Edgars.
He's a horror guy.
Love Robert Edgars.
The other Edgars. This is Dave Edgars
then.
Mhm. Um, you also read a book about Cod
that you liked.
Oh, Cod by Mark Kransky. Come on. That's
great. I'm in the middle. I'm reading
Salt by Mark Klansky right now. Consider
the fork is a great book.
I know the book. What is wrong with me?
I don't read a book, but I know the
books that you read.
Blood, Bones, and Butter by Gabrielle
Hamilton is fantastic. Think like a Chef
by Tom Kio is fantastic.
Surely there are other ones.
I think you said enough.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of because I
feel like I have I'm like trying to
picture on my bookshelf. Oh, Fresh Off
the Boat by Eddie Hong is a fantastic
memor turned into a show.
Crying in HMart. I don't know.
Crying in HR Michelle's honor.
People say that one's good.
You didn't read it. You just know it.
Yeah. Because I have problems that I
need to address soon.
Yeah, that's fair. That I'll leave it at
at those books for now, but if I
remember any, you'll just yell it on
another podcast for a future date.
And on that note, thank you so much for
the sandwich. the podcast you're
currently listening to. Uh, we got new
episodes audio platforms on Wednesdays,
new episodes Sundays on the video
platforms, but the way that people
consume content now is just in one giant
strange molasses flood where it either
reaches you and you're subsumed by it or
it doesn't.
If you want to be featured in a pin or
casserles, don't ask me about books
because I won't have any
recommendations. Give us a ring and
leave a quick message at 833 dogpod 1.
Oh my god. The uh uh the the third plate
by Dan Barber. We had Dan Barber. We had
Dan Barber
on here. Omnivore's Dilemma. Michael
Pollen. Fantastic book.
See you next time. Put food in.
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