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(tranquil music)
March 14th, 2025.
Life has been really full
these past couple of months.
2025 had a really strong start for me.
On one hand, I'm amazed
and slightly overwhelmed
at how many things I'm juggling on my plate.
On the other, I feel as though
I have so much more energy
for what I'm working on lately
because they feel so aligned.
I'm the type of person who
can have endless energy
to work on something if it
truly excites me at the moment.
The opposite is also true.
If something doesn't interest me,
I can't be bothered to do it.
I just can't force myself
to do things I really don't wanna do.
My body definitely speaks for me.
As a creative,
I really try to honor these bouts of inspiration.
When the ideas or the energy comes,
I know I have to act on it right now.
The longer I wait, the weaker it becomes.
And I know it doesn't last forever.
It's not always here,
so I'm very grateful when it does come.
By the way, thank you so much for leaving
your comments of support for
the Diary of Becoming series.
I hear you loud and clear.
So I'll be continuing the series
when I do have the inspiration to write.
I decided to come to my mom's house
and bring all my old journals back with me.
It's funny, these are like junior high, high school.
I might leave these here.
But these are my morning
pages journals over the years.
Let me show you.
I used to use composition notebooks.
They're all filled.
And then I moved on to pastel notebooks,
once we launched those.
As you can see, I try to label the years.
And then I moved on to the
Bloom hardcover notebook
in the past recent years.
Like this is from 2022.
This stack is just, I guess, travel journals
and other etcetera types
of journals over the years.
So many memories.
I'm also bringing back all of my old workbooks.
These are my workbooks from
2023, all the way down to 2017.
The newer ones are already at my house.
These are the colors I chose
for all the past years,
if you wanna check it out.
Look at this quality
from the first version.
Oh my God, it's so funny.
More and more, I'm listening to my body
to guide my decisions.
I'm trusting the gut feeling more,
and acting according to that.
I've recognized how much stronger
and more confident I've become.
I used to be so afraid of
confrontation, ruffling feathers,
or going against the flow.
But now I'm no longer as
afraid to speak up for myself,
to speak my honest opinions
and ask for what I want.
Instead of shrinking myself small,
I'm more comfortable standing
with my head up high, as I am.
I'm proud of that, and I'm
continuing to grow stronger
and more confident with time.
How did this happen?
Well, I realized that you don't get what you want
unless you ask for it,
and sometimes you have to
be strong and fight for it.
I'm amazed and proud that I
recently stood up for myself,
stood firm, and fought for what
I wanted rather than submit,
and I actually got what I wanted.
Developing self-love taught
me to honor myself, my needs,
and to express my thoughts openly
because I am worthy of doing that.
No one will look out for me better than myself.
I'm learning not to be afraid
to make others uncomfortable,
learning that it's okay if people don't like you.
You don't have to please everyone.
You can be kind to others,
yet still firm and protecting of yourself.
It's valuing yourself highly,
protecting your own needs and boundaries,
and ultimately doing what's best for yourself,
putting yourself first.
Because if you don't, who will?
So I've somehow come to a
stage of strong self love,
powerful intuition and authenticity,
and detachment from the need to please
or even to prove my worth to others.
If they don't see it, fine.
I'll find someplace else where I'm valued.
It's no longer that I'm afraid
to not be liked or accepted,
it's that I'm just probably in the wrong place.
And so, I'll just find my place elsewhere.
It's similar to a shift
I've seen in my friends who are dating.
When you're young, you're so
concerned with being liked
that you try so hard to please
and be a version of yourself
that you think will get approval.
When you have strong
self-love and sense of worth,
it's not about, oh my gosh, do they like me?
It's about, wait, do I like them?
You are the one who gets to choose.
It's not about doubting yourself.
It's about deciding whether this person
is the best choice for you.
I love this part about maturing.
Sometimes it doesn't work out,
in which case, great.
Now you know and now you can
move on to a better choice,
a better opportunity for yourself.
Onwards and upwards.
Recently, I also had another perspective shift
on embracing uncertainty in our lives.
I mentioned in a past video
how I'm going through a period of change,
transition, and uncertainty.
At first, I was having difficulty
embracing the uncertainty
because the brain so often wants certainty
and control over the outcome.
But that's not how life works.
I realized that when I was hearing about
my friends' life transitions,
I was excited and happy for them,
the openness, the expansive possibilities
they have in store before them.
But when it came to my own life,
I felt anxious, lost and unsure.
But it's the same.
Any change is an opportunity
for a new and exciting chapter.
To say goodbye and let go of the old
is to also welcome the new with open arms.
I realized that if I could truly
trust and believe that everything
would be okay in the end,
where I'm fully satisfied, proud,
and grateful for my life as a whole,
then anything that happens in between
from now until then, is all part of the process.
It's okay.
If it goes well, great.
If it doesn't, great.
Those failures put me on the path
to learning and growth anyway.
How else am I supposed to evolve?
In the end, we so badly
wanna control the outcome,
but that would be spoiling
the story as you're living it.
Accept the openness, the uncertainty,
and trust that it's all leading you
exactly where you're meant to go.
If life is one big work of art,
then you are the artist in the
middle of creating this art.
You might think you know
what you want to create,
but as you're painting, the
image reveals something else
and you decide to take another direction.
Who knows what the finished piece
will look like when you're done?
You've only just begun.
There's nothing wrong with a work in progress.
In fact, it's the empty space
where there is infinite
possibility, and infinite potential.
It would be boring if you knew exactly
what the finished artwork would look like,
and exactly the steps to get there.
Imagine if life was completely
predictable like that.
It loses a bit of the magic.
So, embrace your life as a work in progress,
and the empty space as beautiful potential.
There is nothing wrong with
being in the middle of creating,
unsure of where it's all going.
Actually, it is the journey,
this process of creating,
that's the fun part.
Let's try this new color and this new shape
and see where it goes.
I've painted enough blue sky.
Let me try something else now.
Continue creating and exploring,
and following whatever lights you up.
You are always being guided.
(tranquil music)
And so, because of that,
I feel much better about
trusting the flow and the change
and taking life one day at a time.
I still have many dreams I hope to achieve.
I'm still being guided every day
on the right choices for me.
That's why I'm more than ever adamant
about taking care of myself
and cultivating my quiet time with myself,
to connect with my heart and intuition daily,
or as often as possible.
It's a dedication and
commitment to stay listening
and to always honor my truest self.
That's how I strengthen that quiet little voice.
That's how I'm staying aligned
to my most authentic path,
following this energy, following this flow,
even if I don't always know where it may lead.
To sum it up, the two biggest lessons
I've learned in my life thus
far, that I share today,
are self-love and trust.
First, you must honor yourself
in the most careful and
intentional way possible,
self-love in its highest form.
After you nurture that connection with yourself,
you will be led and guided in the right direction.
Then, trust.
Trust that you're on the right path.
Trust that you're constantly
being guided and protected.
Trust that you are loved.
Trust, because you don't have full control,
and that is beautiful.
You don't have to figure it all out.
You don't have to know it all.
You don't even have to do all the work.
When you are living in
alignment with your soul,
the universe moves to
support you in magical ways.
- [Guide] We also have greater flamingos here,
the largest and lightest pink of all flamingos.
Got those cute little white
rings around their tails.
Those are water bucks.
They're aptly named.
Always found near a
permanent source of water.
- [Aileen] What have you learned
about trusting the process in life?
I'd love to hear your thoughts
in the comments below.
Thank you all so much for watching,
and please subscribe to this channel
for more videos on becoming your best self
and creating your dream life.
If you'd like to watch more of the series,
please check out the Diary of Becoming playlist
linked in the card and down below.
Sending you so much love.
Bye.
(uplifting music)
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