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Have you been struggling for years

on losing weight for good?

If you're like me, you've experienced years of ups and downs

in your weight and self-confidence,

and you've just never felt like you've been able

to truly understand how to reach your dream body

and how to sustain it.

So today, I'm revealing all the things I wish I knew

about fitness and weight loss that I have learned

in the past seven to eight months of a very intense,

I guess, deep dive into health and fitness, nutrition.

And these are all things that I wish I knew earlier

about fitness and weight loss

because if I did, it would've been so much easier.

No yo-yoing back and forth.

Hi, my loves.

Welcome back to Lavendaire. It's Aileen.

I make videos on personal growth and life design.

So if you're interested in any of that,

make sure you click that bell and subscribe,

so we can hang out some more.

My story in a nutshell is in the past six to seven months,

I took a different approach to my fitness and weight loss.

So around June of last year, I had gained back 10 pounds

that I had worked so hard to lose two years before.

And it was really frustrating

because I'm like, "Well, I'm back where I started again."

And this is not the first time I had done that.

I have spent, it feels like a lifetime

of just ups and downs and fluctuating,

getting really serious about fitness and dieting,

and then giving up and then gaining things back.

And I just felt like I couldn't figure it out.

So this time around,

I was like, I need to figure,

like clearly something's missing,

and I don't know everything, so let me just go to school,

let me study, let me see what can work for me.

I'll go into everything I learned in just a moment.

But to give you a quick stat,

I went in the past seven-ish months,

I went from 21.5% body fat

to now I'm down to 17 1/2 body fat percentage.

And I like looking at body fat percentage

because weight is so subjective.

You could be losing muscle and think you're losing weight.

And I think that was one of my mistakes in the past.

But now I'm more focused on body recomposition,

which simply means I am aiming to grow muscle

and lose fat at the same time.

And that is a different process and a different journey

than I had ever taken before.

Side note, I'm aware that those numbers

are still within the range

of like a normal, healthy weighing person.

And to be honest, even when I was at my heaviest,

I still felt beautiful, I still like loved myself.

I just didn't feel like 100% confident wearing everything

that I wanted, right?

I felt like I had to like wear certain things,

or I couldn't wear that.

I had to like cover up here or there

and make some illusions here and there.

But like my goal in becoming my best self

is just to be like the healthiest, fittest version of me,

where I can confidently wear whatever I want

and just feel like snatched.

I'm not saying that you need to change your body,

but if you want to, if you want that little boost

and confidence, if you want that little boost

in improved health, and strength, and fitness, let's do it.

The first thing I wish I knew sooner

is that fitness is a lifestyle, not a sprint.

I think I've always been in the habit

of, oh, I need to lose weight, so let me work out more.

Oh, let me like go to yoga really consistently.

Let me start running for like this month or whatever

and then I might see some progress,

and then life happens, or I get busy,

and then I just like, I fall off, right?

I end up not working out, not exercising for months,

and then I go into just eating out all the time,

and just living life, having fun,

but not prioritizing health and fitness,

thinking that my body is gonna stay the same.

So what I wish I knew sooner

is that it really has to be a lifestyle

where you integrate it in your identity,

in who you are in your daily weekly routine.

And that's not easy, right?

It's not easy if that's not your identity.

And if that's not what your routine and habits are,

I think I used to feel like, ugh, exercise was a chore.

It's so exhausting. I already have such a huge to-do list.

I now have to insert an exercise in this like busy day.

It just felt like something I wanted to put off

because I was too busy with other things.

So in reality, I was not prioritizing my own health

and fitness because I was prioritizing maybe work

or something else in my life.

Even this time around when I started getting really serious

about my fitness journey around August of last year,

I was like really strong in the first couple months,

like August, September, maybe even October,

I was working out almost every day.

I was just like focused.

I had a workout health diary,

I was tracking calories, and workouts.

I was just doing as much as I could

'cause I was really intense.

I was like, "I got to figure this out."

Once the holidays came around, my routine changed.

I slowed down, I became gentler on myself,

and then I just lost some motivation to workout.

I lost the intensity, the commitment,

and that desire, that determination.

And I'm just like, "Oh gosh."

It's hard to get myself

to like be so motivated and so consistent all the time.

It's not easy.

And so I slowed down to a more sustainable pace

of like maybe two to three workouts a week.

So my current routine

is I aim to do strength training two to three times a week.

So this is excluding like walks with Togi

throughout the week.

So once a week, I go to a Pilates studio

to do reformer Pilates.

And then the other two days, I do strength training at home.

And more recently,

what has helped with my consistency and motivation

is I've started to do remote personal training.

So thanks to Trainwell for sponsoring this video.

It's actually my first time doing personal training,

but I love that it's online,

and everything's just through an app.

So it's really easy, really accessible,

and there's that human accountability

that really helps keep me motivated

because someone's literally there watching me,

giving me advice, preparing workouts for me.

It feels like it's not as easy to ignore that

versus like ignoring the workout videos

that I have saved in a playlist.

So Trainwell

is a one-on-one remote personal training service.

It has a convenient app,

it's super personalized to your needs,

and it truly helps keep you accountable

because there's a personal trainer,

like a real human being that you're working with.

So once you join the app, you take a quiz,

and then you get matched with your personal trainer.

I met with my trainer, Brittney, through Zoom.

- You can also swap exercises instantaneously.

So if you really like that movement,

then when I look at your workout reflections,

I'm like, okay, she prefers this one, bing, bang, boom.

And I'm able to make adjustments that way.

- We had a discussion about what my fitness journey

and what my fitness goals were.

I told her that I had trouble

with consistency and sustainability

because I would be really intense,

and then I would like stop completely,

and I was like always up and down.

So I wanted to have her help me craft a plan

that felt doable, sustainable,

and that would actually help me achieve my goals.

It was nice to be able to come to a super realistic plan

and to have someone tailor a plan specific to my needs.

Overall, I've been really enjoying the experience,

and I really do enjoy the accountability

of a personal trainer that I can message

and ask questions anytime.

And I especially really like to leave feedback

after the end of my workouts.

I typically let her know whether an exercise

or a workout was like too easy or too hard.

I let her know which moves

were like the most challenging for me,

what I'd like to work on more.

And it's really nice

to be able to like finetune the workouts as you go.

If you're interested in trying Trainwell,

you can take the quiz to find your perfect trainer

and get 14 days of free training here

and at the link down below.

Moving on, the second most important thing

I wish I knew sooner was to prioritize building strength,

meaning build your muscles.

So I've already alluded

to how important strength training is,

but I think I've only learned in the past few months

or past year why it's so important.

So number one reason why it's important

was did you know that the more muscles you have,

not only is your body stronger,

but you also burn more calories at rest?

Meaning you can eat slightly more.

And as someone who loves to eat,

I'm like, give it to me.

Like I wanna be able to eat a little bit more,

like, so let me build the muscle

so that I can, you know, sustain that.

And the second really important reason that matters to me

because I care about long-term health

is basically as you age, starting around age 35,

studies have shown that you lose one to 2%

of muscle each year.

So your body is basically losing its muscle year after year.

So if you are not building, and growing, and working

on sustaining or growing your muscle,

then you're losing your muscle.

And muscles are so important.

You don't wanna be an old person that's frail, and weak,

and has broken hips, and this problem,

that problem, back issues.

You want to be strong.

And so that is a very, very big reason

why I started to prioritize building strength.

To put things in perspective,

what I was doing before this year

in all my previous fitness diet journeys

was just prioritizing exercise, and movement,

and eating less, and just like focusing on cardio or HIITs,

just those ways to lose weight,

but I didn't understand that everything I was doing,

I might have been losing weight,

but I probably was losing muscle as well

because I wasn't focusing on growing my muscles,

on getting stronger.

I was just focused on let me move my body as much as I can

to burn calories.

So that was the mistake.

I think a lot of females maybe in the Asian community

are like afraid to build muscle.

They're afraid to get bulky,

and so they're too scared to like lift weights

and do certain types of exercises

that are strength training.

But I've learned to just like throw that out the window.

Like I think muscle is beautiful, to be strong is beautiful.

Like to me, the health matters so much more

and to learn that it's effective, right?

I think I was gaining all my weight back before

because I had so little muscle

that anytime I would like overeat or whatever,

I'm eating above my like calories

that I burn every single day

because I'm burning very low calories

because I have very low muscle.

The third thing I wish I knew earlier,

which continues off of number two,

is to prioritize eating enough protein for your muscles.

This is also a very huge one

that I literally did not know of before

because I didn't understand

that if you don't eat enough protein for your body,

you will lose muscle.

Your body will burn the muscle before it burns the fat.

And I was like, what is this?

So I started to count my calories

and count how much protein I'm eating in a day.

And I was not eating anywhere close to enough protein

because it's not my routine,

it wasn't my habit to incorporate that much protein

into my diet.

So if you also are new to this,

then I would recommend looking up

how much protein you should eat based on your body weight.

I'll put some numbers on screen

depending on whether you're kilograms or pounds.

I believe it's like 0.8 grams to one point something grams

per pound of body weight.

So you do the math

and you calculate how many grams

of protein you need per day,

and then you kind of look at what you eat.

Okay, an egg is six grams of protein,

a chicken is this many grams,

a protein shake is this many grams.

Depending on how many meals you eat,

you wanna divide that big number of daily protein goal

into those meals.

And I just realized, it's hard.

It's hard to eat enough protein in a day.

And so I had to learn what foods are high in protein,

how do I start to prioritize those foods?

And so I went on a whole journey

on learning about protein,

and also learning that not all proteins are created equal.

Some proteins are plant-based proteins,

some proteins have more fat, some proteins are more lean.

So if you are trying to lose weight,

try to eat more lean proteins.

I think to some, it's kind of obvious,

but to others, it's not so obvious.

Like, oh, I didn't realize I have to care

about how much fat is in the protein itself.

And it's all about like creating your meals

around efficiently, getting enough protein

while making sure it's not going

over your daily calorie expenditure.

And it became like a mathematical game for me.

I was like, "Wow, like how do I build meals

where I'm hitting this goal?"

And this is where using like ChatGPT helped.

I was like, "Please, this is my protein goals.

These are the foods I like to eat.

Create some meals for me.

Like give me some ideas on how I can incorporate protein."

So then I learned all these hacks

like putting Greek yogurt in everything,

putting edamame and stuff.

I learned that tofu doesn't have enough protein sometimes

'cause I like the soft silk in tofus.

Egg doesn't have as much protein as people think.

It's a whole knowledge journey.

Moving on lesson number four,

and this is one that I, my old self

does not wanna hear this.

I still don't wanna hear this sometimes.

But the lesson is you have to challenge yourself.

If you wanna grow, if you wanna change your body,

if you wanna like become stronger,

if you wanna grow your muscles,

you are going to have to challenge yourself.

When I mean challenge,

I mean you got to do workouts that are slightly hard.

You're gonna have to push.

You're gonna have to be out of breath,

you're gonna have to feel pain.

And that's when they say no pain, no gain.

I am the type of person that I don't mind being consistent.

And I think the, I guess the style

of working out I would do before

is okay, I'll do some yoga, I'll do some Pilates,

is never too intense.

I'll do like walking, I'll do gentle movements,

and I'll do it consistently, which is fine, right?

I think that's totally fine for general health upkeep.

But if you're trying to grow some muscles,

then you have to challenge yourself.

And that is like the hard truth that I learned.

Like, oh, I really have to push myself?

Like if it doesn't hurt, I'm not growing,

I'm just sustaining?

I don't know.

So that is something that I learned,

and I'm still understanding how it works.

Like do I really have to?

But one thing I will say is that once you start seeing

and feeling the progress of your body change,

like seeing and feeling

that I'm getting physically stronger, noticeably stronger,

that is really motivating because once I notice that,

it's almost like I don't want to lose it.

I just wanna keep building on it.

And I'll give you a really silly example.

So when I'm cooking, there was this pot

that I always cook soups and noodle soups in,

and it's a very heavy stainless steel pot.

I've never been able to like flip it

to pour out the soup into a bowl with one hand.

I've always had to do two hands like this.

And recently, I'm like. (chuckles)

I was like, "Wilson, come here, come here, come here."

I was like, "I could do this.

Look how strong I am.

Look at this arm."

So it works, it's practical.

Lesson number five is to understand calories

and smart swaps.

This is also one that is gonna feel annoying to some of you

because I have counted calories very diligently in the past,

but it's not something I like to do.

I'm not doing it right now.

But what I'm recommending is you count calories

for at least two weeks of your regular diet

and eating schedule.

And the reason I recommend you do that

is when you start counting calories,

you start learning how much calories

are in different types of food,

and then it gives you some knowledge and awareness

so that you can better like understand

like what you're putting on your plate.

From counting calories,

I've learned so much about what foods

are high in calories that were totally unexpected

and what foods that are low in calories

that were totally unexpected.

And I'm like, oh wow, once I have this knowledge,

then I am like, "Oh,

like I don't really need this high calorie version.

I could do the lower calorie version,

and I'm just as happy with it."

And you start noticing there are a lot of smart swaps

that you can make

so that you are not consuming very high calories,

but you're still getting the taste, or the texture,

or like what you were craving, what you were looking for.

And that is really empowering,

and that is kind of like the secret

to eating whatever you want

because you understand how many calories

are in different foods.

So one example is nuts.

I love nuts in my fruit bowls, salads, whatever.

I love walnuts, almonds, like I like eating nuts,

and I've always been taught that nuts were healthy.

But since counting calories,

I realized how high in calories nuts are.

And that's something that's very counterintuitive.

I'm like, "What, I can't just eat like a lot

of walnuts at once?

I can't just eat a lot of like peanuts or avocados at once?"

Like sometimes, I wanna do that.

But now it's like I have that awareness.

I'm like, "Oh, oh.

It's healthy, but in moderation."

A couple examples of smart swaps

would be if you love ranch dressing, like I love ranch.

I'll have my pizza with ranch,

baby carrots with ranch, whatever.

I love that texture and that flavor.

But I learned that you can use Greek yogurt

or cottage cheese and mix some flavors,

like you can blend it or you can just do so much with it

so that the texture and the taste is very similar to ranch,

and it's so much lower calories

that you're like, "Wow, this is a smart swap," okay?

So as you can see, the more you know

about your food and become aware of calories and nutrition,

nutrient levels, all of those details,

then the more empowered you are

to make smarter choices about what you fill your plate with.

Moving on. Number six is to shift your identity

and self-perception.

So I wish I knew that in order to be successful

in my weight loss, fitness journey, body transformation,

I had to truly believe I was a different person

because I was stuck in the mindset and the identity

of, oh, I'm so lazy, I don't wanna work out.

Oh, working out is a chore, like I don't have time for this.

I'm too busy for this, I'm exhausted, this is overwhelming.

I don't know how to work out,

I don't know how to use all this gym equipment, right?

I was stuck in that identity, right?

The girl who wants a beautiful dream body

but has all these excuses.

So you have to understand

that you have to be able to shift your identity

and self-perception,

meaning you have to change the way you see yourself.

It all begins in the mind.

You have to believe it's possible for you.

You have to believe that you are that person

who loves working out.

You are that girl who wakes up,

put on like gym clothes, and goes to the gym.

You are that hot girl.

You are that girl who's super fit.

You are that girl that can run for miles.

You are that girl or that person.

So it's all about believing in that future self,

believing in that ideal identity

that you hope to embody

and really acting as if you are that person,

trying so much to change your self-talk

and to change that internal dialogue

that you are that person.

The more you believe that you are that person,

the more you're going to act as that person.

And that is how you're going to be sustainable

with your fitness goals and this fitness journey

is it becomes a lifestyle, like I said earlier.

But the truth of making it a lifestyle

is it really starts in the mind.

It starts with the belief and the identity.

To put it into practice, what you have to do

is you have to start to become aware of

and begin to release your limiting beliefs.

I have a lot of great videos on this.

I'll link one here down below

from the Transform Your Life series.

But you basically have to be aware of what are these beliefs

that are holding me back from this ideal identity,

and how can I let go of them?

How can I replace them with the new beliefs?

So examples of limiting beliefs are this is too hard.

I don't like to exercise.

This is not fun.

And then the new beliefs that you wanna ingrain

is this is easy.

Exercising consistently, easy.

I love it. It's so fun to work out.

I love how I feel when I work out.

I love that feeling of getting stronger.

I love that feeling of getting challenged during a workout.

You want to adopt those new positive, supportive beliefs

that will support this new identity

even though there's a transition period.

Obviously, it's not gonna be like black and white one day

and the next day.

You're gonna have a journey

where you're gonna be bouncing back and forth

and in all the in-betweens,

between the negative limiting self

and then the positive supportive self.

And that is the mental game, the internal journey

that you have to be able to master.

And the bright side is once you're able to do this

and master this, this mental strength applies

to all areas of life, not just your health and fitness.

So if you're able to be really good

at letting go of limiting beliefs,

adopting positive, supportive beliefs,

just imagine how many areas of your life you can transform.

All right, my loves,

the last lesson I'll leave you with today

is to be patient and trust slow progress.

So I know how impatient we all are.

We all want to lose weight and get fit really fast.

We all want it to happen by tomorrow.

Literally like snap of a finger, transform me right away.

I want the results now.

And that is just the instant gratification we wish we had,

but it's not real, first of all,

and it's not the right way of doing things.

You guys know there's no shortcuts, there's no quick fixes.

If you want this to be your new sustainable self,

it's going to be a journey.

It's going to be a slow process,

and it's not going to be linear, it's not gonna be perfect.

You are going to be up and down, bouncing back and forth,

and you are going to see progress

only if you stay consistent with it over time.

And that is the lesson.

Like patience, consistency, perseverance.

These are all just very important values and principles

that we need to learn

because it's not just applying to health and fitness,

it applies to building a career,

just doing anything worth doing in life.

Anything great takes time.

It takes patience and you have to trust the slow process.

Sometimes quick change results

in like quick change the other way, right?

Like you might lose a lot of weight,

and then you might gain it all back fast.

But if you are doing it slow and sustainable,

then you're not gonna bounce back right away, right?

It's gonna be something

that creates a more longer lasting result.

It's more powerful.

All right, my loves,

let me know where you're at in your fitness journey

and which one of these tips helps you the most.

Let me know if any of this was new info

or did you know all of this already?

I don't know, you may have been more advanced than me,

but these were things that I literally learned

within the past year,

and I'm excited because I feel more equipped

because remember, knowledge is power.

And now, I just know, I know better.

Reminder that if you wanna try Trainwell,

you can take the quiz, get matched with a trainer,

and get 14 days of free personal training down at the link

here or on screen.

Finally, here are some of my favorite comments

that you guys have left on my channel lately.

I always love to screenshot and save them,

so thank you for leaving them.

Just wanna shout out some lovely people here.

Thank you so much for watching, sending you so much love,

and I'll see you in the next one, bye.

(mellow music)

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