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(water rushing) (soothing music)

Lately, life has been pushing me to change

and grow in ways that I didn't expect.

And there's so much uncertainty ahead in my journey

right now that I'm forced to learn to trust.

And it's uncomfortable, and I'm uneasy,

and I'm indecisive.

But I realize that this is exactly the process of evolution.

This is exactly how we grow and evolve through life.

And so if you've ever felt unsure

or lost about where to go in your life

and how to deal with the uncertainty of it all,

then this video is for you.

I'm taking this NOVOS Core longevity supplement.

I'm not super consistent with it,

but when I remember, I will take this.

The founder of NOVOS was a guest on my podcast.

We had a whole episode about how to slow down aging

and what the keys to longevity are.

So if you're interested in that,

I'll link that podcast down below.

Hi, my loves, it's Aileen. Good to see you.

So I wanted to make a life update video

sharing what I am going through

and what I am learning right now.

It's just a way to be a little bit more personal with you.

I feel like a lot of my videos lately

have been just sharing actionable tips.

And I do want a way to share my personal,

like, what's I'm going through right now

because I think it can also be helpful.

So I'm in a stage of life where there's definitely change

and evolution, and with that comes closing down

or saying goodbye to certain parts of my life

and career and business and then an opening of doors

in other areas.

And if I'm being honest, this really has been

like a slow change process for the past year or so,

or maybe longer than that, I don't know.

But I do feel like for a while

I haven't found like a solid footing.

I'm in a experimenting, exploring, learning phase

where I'm still trying to figure things out.

It's funny how I've been doing this career.

I've running this business for like 10 years,

but I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing sometimes.

But life is always guiding me towards certain directions,

and I am simply here to just follow and flow

and trust in that guidance, even though it can be difficult.

So one thing, one aspect of change

is I want to kind of like switch up the strategy

and the content for Lavendaire, mainly Instagram.

I wanna like make more Instagram series.

So if you like short-form videos

and you're curious to see what I create on there,

I'm planning to experiment with more series on Instagram

and YouTube Shorts.

So yeah, and then with YouTube,

I feel like I'm still gonna be posting the tips,

but I am trying to explore what's a new format

of a video that I can share my personal journey and life.

I did the "Diary of Becoming" series last year

for about six months-ish.

Let me know how you felt about that series.

I really enjoyed making it,

'cause it mixed my life with journaling.

And I could share my lessons,

like, through the journaling voice.

But I don't know, something about the format

didn't click with people, so I'm still figuring that out.

So maybe, do you guys want to see vlogs?

How do you wanna learn about me?

Because instead of, like outside of the actionable tips,

I do want to bring you along the journey of my life.

One thing I've learned in the past couple years,

and it's still a lesson that's like in my face,

is when things don't go well

and not the way that you expect,

it is a nudge for you to learn something,

(laughs) to put it simply.

Either it's a nudge for you to like explore another path

or it's a nudge to remind you like,

"Hey, you're still a student, you don't know everything.

You need to go back. You need to reflect.

You gotta see what went wrong and you gotta learn from it.

And you just gotta go back to school."

So I feel like in my business,

I'm in a phase where I have to go back to school. (chuckles)

I have to learn, I have to go back from the ground up.

Also because doing Lavendaire for so long,

our audience has evolved and grown over the years.

The people watching now are probably not the same people

that were watching five, six, seven years ago, like earlier.

So I have to, you know, remember to like evolve

with you guys.

Like, Lavendaire has to evolve as the audience evolves.

And that means like, I don't know, everything,

everything has to refresh and change every few years.

I am figuring out how to move forward

or how to end certain parts of the business

so that I can just have enough energy

to give to like the new exciting projects

that I have moving forward.

So I got, you know, a couple really good feeling,

like whole body yes feeling opportunities

regarding projects that I really care about,

and I've shared about it before on the channel.

So one project is the book

that I've been trying to write for like 10 years.

(laughs) Obviously, I'm happy I didn't write it

like back then.

There were many opportunities for me to write a book,

like either publishers reached out

or someone wanted to like work with me on proposal,

and it just fell through always.

And this year, like synchronicity happened.

I got introduced and blah, blah, blah,

so the ball is rolling, and that's what's really exciting.

But there's a caveat that I might have to shift

things around with the team that's working on this book.

I don't know, I've been in a very indecisive,

taking my time to figure out what the next big steps are

because it really matters right now.

So anyway, that's all I can say right now.

I don't even know what I'm gonna do. (laughs)

I don't know what choice I'm gonna make moving into this,

but I do wanna say the ball is rolling.

I've been working on the book proposal.

But I was saying, I'm glad that it took so long (laughs)

and I didn't do it earlier

because I have so much more wisdom and perspective now

that I feel like I am the best version to create this book

that I've always wanted to create.

So that's something coming up.

And then another thing that I've spoken about before

is creating an app.

So I wanna create a tool for life design

in the digital form.

So imagine like the next evolution

of what the "Artist of Life" workbook could be,

something digital that you can use to plan

everything from your goals, break it down to your habits,

everything from how to live aligned to your values

and what matters most to you in life.

And to be able to track it all

and to be able to see your growth and your progress

in a digital space.

Those are two projects that are really exciting to me,

but they're projects that invest a lot of time

and sometimes money into it.

And anyway, that's kind of the main update

is like things are shifting for me.

I know what's exciting

and I know what's not exactly exciting,

but it's hard for me to like figure out what to do

with the parts that are not super exciting,

because sometimes it's about maintaining

and keeping things up.

But anyway, through this entire process,

what I have learned about the uncertainty of the journey

and the uncertainty of the future

is you really have to connect with yourself

and connect to that inner knowing that knows

that this is the right choice for you.

And it's different for everyone.

I'm a person who has a strong gut feeling,

according to my Human Design.

If you guys know Human Design,

or if you haven't heard of it, definitely look it up.

Look up your type.

I have a couple podcasts on it

on "The Lavendaire Lifestyle" podcast.

But my personal human design authority is the sacral,

which means that I best make my decisions

off of the gut feeling,

off of the feeling that I get in my body.

Like if my body feels good and expansive and excited

and happy at a certain opportunity or decision,

then that is the right direction for me.

And if it's anything else but that,

if it's like a, "Mm, I'm not sure, ooh,"

or if it's like a restrictive feeling

or an uncomfortable feeling, then that means

it's not right for me or not right for me right now.

Like it might be right later on down the line,

but not right now.

And my biggest struggle is trusting that,

trusting my gut, trusting my intuition

because I logic my way through it.

I'm always like rationalizing, "This doesn't make sense.

Like logically," or "this should be

what's best for me."

Or I don't know, or sometimes it's just fear.

Sometimes I talk myself out of making a choice

because of fear, because of fear of change.

"Oh my gosh, if I change this in my life,

or if I change this in my business, if I let this go,

then how am I gonna deal with it?

How am I gonna? Oh, it's gonna be so difficult.

Oh, I'm gonna have to struggle through this.

Oh, I'm gonna have to figure this out.

Oh, I'm gonna have to learn so much."

So there's definitely like the fear and the mind

and the self-doubt that holds you back

from making the right decisions.

But ultimately, if you stay connected

and the more you learn to trust

and the more you learn to connect,

the more aligned you will be

towards making decisions in your life.

It's not easy, but I'm learning to trust. (laughs)

I'm learning to trust,

and I'm learning to flow with the guidance of life.

I'm learning to trust my energy and my intuition

and that feeling in my body.

And I'm also learning to embrace the fact

that things are not always going to be okay.

Like things are not always going to be successful

or put together and things will be messy at some times,

and they might break down,

and there might be like a hiatus or a pause.

I might have to slow down.

I'm embracing all of that as a part of life,

because life is not just success, success, success

all the way up.

Life is the ups and downs, the reflections,

the learning, the misalignment and the realignment.

And that's what I'm going through.

I think we're always going through this.

We're always either misaligned, realigned,

misaligned, realigned.

Like sometimes we are like so in flow, feeling so great,

so like aligned with where we should be in life

and life feels really good, and life is moving.

Sometimes we're in that stage and sometimes, yeah,

I do feel like I'm in that stage.

Other times it's like a struggle.

"Where am I? What should I be doing?"

But through it all, all of the uncertainty,

I think it's very important to be able to anchor yourself

in what's important.

So of course, you always want to be anchored in your values

and knowing that you're living aligned to your values

and what matters to you, right?

For me, I anchor myself in self-love

and self-worth, self-compassion,

to know that whatever happens in this journey,

I still love myself, I still take care of myself.

The older I get also, I prioritize my self-care

and wellbeing more and more.

And I find that the more I prioritize that,

then, like, I'm good.

No matter the success or failures I have in my career

or other parts of life, as long as I am happy and healthy,

like, taking care of my body, making sure that my body

feels good every day, I'm getting enough sleep,

I am exercising, I'm eating well,

I am doing my skincare routine, I'm stretching,

I'm drinking water, staying hydrated,

like, making sure that I have the basics down,

then that's what's important.

Also, like the social aspect is important too.

Making sure I connect with my loved ones.

Like if I'm feeling not that great, I can just make a call.

I call someone in my life and feel better

just from the social connection aspect.

So know what really matters to you in life.

Know what your basics are.

Like, what is the foundation that you can take care of,

that you can control?

And focus on always taking care of that part.

Because if you have that down,

then it makes you better prepared,

better equipped to handle everything else in life.

The uncertainty, like all the things that you cannot control

and cannot predict, it helps you handle and manage

and navigate that better.

So I'm in a stage of my career where I feel

like I have to do the pause and reflect and learn

before I can move forward with a good pace again.

'Cause you have to take a break sometimes and reflect.

You can't just be like, go, go, go,

constantly doing, doing, moving, moving, creating, creating.

You have to take a pause, reflect, slow down,

okay, what needs to be changed,

what needs to be tinkered with and improved?

So that's where I'm at.

In terms of life stage, I am also, okay, I am 34 now,

and I have this like feeling

that I have only like a couple years,

two to three years maybe before my life changes

and I possibly maybe become a mom.

So that's also like reality, right? (chuckles)

Reality, and you have to work out the timeline in real time.

Like, okay, if this is gonna happen,

and this is around the age that it might happen,

then I have the last two-ish years

that I can truly learn to savor for myself

and enjoy my own company, do everything that I wanna do

for myself, by myself.

Basically savor life as this current version of me

that I honestly love so much.

I honestly love my life.

I love my daily life, my peaceful life,

my everyday with Togi at home, (chuckles)

my creations, my inspirations.

I love that I'm at the stage actually

where I'm kind of at the beginning of something new,

and that part is really exciting for me,

even though it is hard to like let some things go.

But I'm excited that I still have a year or two

to fully dedicate myself to like the creations

I wanna put out in the world, like the book I mentioned.

It's been a lifelong dream

and something I've been seriously thinking about

for like literally almost 10 years.

And yeah, I don't wanna say it's like I have a deadline,

but in a sense, I do have a like a limited timeline

to savor this life as myself.

And so that's why life is so much more precious,

and I'm really being intentional with how I spend my time

because it really matters.

If you are also going through a similar life stage,

let me know how you're feeling

and dealing with it in the comments down below.

How are you savoring this time with the current version

of yourself that you know is gonna change very soon?

All right, the sun is setting, so I will wrap up

the life update here, but let me know down below,

do you like hearing life updates from me?

What type of content do you wanna see from me

outside of like the how-tos

and the meditations and affirmations?

I have some ideas of new series in my mind

that I'm gonna test as well,

but let me know if you have any ideas

or anything that you would love to see from me

or inspiration from other creators that you're like,

"Oh, I love that type of video or that format

or that topic."

Let me know if you want to see me make it as well.

Comment down below with all of your feedback.

It's really appreciated.

And I will also link down below like our email list

because if you wanna stay updated with, like, the book,

the app, or anything else that I am working on,

then that will be the place where you can

be the first to know and possibly be like early tester,

that kind of thing.

All right, sending you so much love.

Thank you for being here. I appreciate you so much.

Bye. (upbeat music)

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