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- So my last video was extremely depressing.

I made a tutorial on how to ruin the rest of your life,

and most of you thought it was an absolute banger,

including myself.

I thought it was really cool.

I put a lot of effort into it

and I put a lot of effort

into making it as depressing as possible,

as desperate as possible,

because I believe in showing the negative.

I believe in creating a negative vision to run from,

not just a positive vision to run towards.

But a lot of you who watched

this most recent video that I made said,

"Hey Joey, I've been in a dark place for a very long time.

I don't know what to do,

and watching this video just sort of reminds me

of how screwed I am."

And I totally get that.

And I know that a lot of people

aren't in the best place in life,

and watching something super depressing

doesn't necessarily help them.

They need some hope and positivity in their life,

so that's why I'm making this video.

If that's you,

then let's just go over the video point for point

and try to talk about the reverse, shoot the (censored)

and brainstorm on what the reverse would look like

and how you can take each of these negative tendencies

or negative behaviors, flip them,

and why that would be a good thing for your life.

So if you're interested in changing your life

and feeling a lot better,

especially going into this new year,

and you want some new ideas

on how you can feel like the best version of yourself,

then this video is for you.

Okay, so tip number one is open your body language.

So many people nowadays walk around life

with a closed body language.

Recently I've been really obsessed

with watching sort of old footage

from the 1960s, 1970s, even the '50s, on YouTube.

There's a lot of archival footage

where you can kind of do these street tours

and these walk arounds.

And the first thing that pops out at me every single time

is how open and how lively people are.

People walked around with good posture,

they made great eye contact with people.

Obviously they were hustling and bustling

because it's a metro city and everything

in these walk arounds.

But the vibe is totally different.

People want to connect with people.

It felt like a community back in the day.

And I feel like technology has really robbed us of that.

The norm is to walk around life with a closed body language,

with your eyes looking down

at either the concrete or your device.

People don't wanna make eye contact with each other

because it's uncomfortable, you know.

People aren't good at that anymore.

But just because it's normal doesn't mean it's good.

If you want to change your life

and feel good in a world where so many people are depressed,

then maybe you need to not follow the norm.

Maybe you need to be the person who tries to figure out

what you want for your life, how you want to feel,

how you want to behave,

and behave that way regardless

of what everyone else is doing.

And one of the best ways to do that

is to open up your posture

and be receptive to the world around you.

Try to make eye contact with people,

even if they don't wanna make eye contact with you.

Be the exception, right?

When you're at the grocery checkout

or at some convenience store,

just have, "Hey, how's your day going so far?"

roll off the tip of your tongue.

Just get good at saying that.

- Are those microwave dinners any good?

- I don't know.

- I'll give them a whirl.

- You're not obligated to really make

a profound emotional connection or anything like that.

But even just asking somebody how their day is

and, you know, how's your day going so far,

hey, how's it going,

that goes a long way for people.

I feel like grocery checkout people

can go weeks without hearing that genuinely.

So open up your posture, open up your body language.

Tell yourself that you are receptive to the world

and you're here, you have arrived, you're present.

Alright, so tip number two is to stop checking your phone.

I almost don't even wanna talk about this tip.

We'll move on to the next tip

because you've heard this a billion quadrillion times

from every single self-help YouTuber

in the history of the world.

And I have nothing further to say

other than what I already said in tip number one.

So just don't check your phone all the time

because it pulls you out of reality.

You're just doing what everyone else is doing.

And yeah, keep it in your pocket.

- Put it in your pocket, sir.

- Alright, so the third easy thing that you can do

to feel a lot better in life

or to give yourself an advantage

is to be early to things.

Be early to things by default, right?

Don't just roll in right on time or five minutes late.

See what it would feel like to be five minutes early.

And this is less about how you're perceived

by the people that you're meeting.

That can't be understated either.

Obviously when you are the person

who shows up five minutes early and prepared,

people will perceive you as more mature,

more prepared, more on the ball.

But that's not necessarily what I'm talking about.

And even from a selfish perspective,

if you plan for being early by default,

then the little things in life that are in your way,

that are outside of your control,

won't phase you as much.

Say if you plan on being even 10 minutes early,

you have an abundance of buffer time

before arriving to things.

Then when the traffic is backed up bumper to bumper

or there's construction or something goes wrong

and you have to take an important phone call,

you can just take a deep breath

and not be as fazed or as stressed out

or as fight or flight about all these little things

not going exactly as planned.

And in the modern age,

we are desperate for less cortisol in our lives.

Cortisol is the stress hormone.

We walk around life with so much pent up

physiological and psychological stress.

We're like little balls of rocks.

Balls of balls.

Yeah.

We're stress balls that need to be squeezed.

I don't like where this is going.

We just need to relax, take a deep breath,

show up to things early

because it's good for you psychologically to do that.

And I guarantee you the experience of living

will improve for you both practically,

because people will like it when you show up early,

and psychologically, because you'll like the way you feel

when you just plan to be places earlier.

I don't know what more there is to say, but that's the tip.

But being late will be inevitable.

You will always make mistakes in life.

You need to accept that you are not perfect.

And part of accepting that you're not perfect

is to not make excuses when things go wrong,

because making excuses is a rejection of your human flaws.

You are trying to pawn off your mistake

to someone or something else.

We do this instinctively.

We'll show up late to a meeting,

we'll show up late to work

and we don't want to come across as irresponsible.

So we try to generate some excuse as to why we're late.

But the truth is, this sometimes works like one time.

If you roll in the door late chronically,

then it doesn't really matter what you say.

People will just see that you're the guy who shows up late

and you're the guy who always has an excuse.

In my opinion, it's much better to say, "Sorry I'm late."

"Oh, why are you late?"

"There's no excuse. I'm just late."

People might actually be impressed by your candor.

Notice that when I say, "Sorry I'm late, there's no excuse,"

people are like, "Oh no, don't worry about it," right?

Because there's no excuse

makes you sound like you're beating yourself up.

But really what you're doing is you're taking responsibility

and people go like, "Oh, don't worry about it."

But if you say, "Sorry I'm late,

the dog, he like pooed on the carpet

and I had to clean it up."

And when you be wilding on your excuses,

I don't know if that's what the kids say anymore.

- How do you do, fellow kids?

- But it almost makes everything worse

because people will start to listen to these excuses

and be like, man, this guy does not have his shit together.

This person's life is crazy.

All these wild things happen to him.

So you're just like, yep, sorry I'm late. No excuse.

Your life will be better if you do that.

Okay, so tip number five

is to develop an internal locus of control.

Life is really crazy.

So many things can happen

that are utterly outside of our control.

Life will throw crazy things at you all the time.

It just will.

Nobody lives a life where they don't have to deal

with unexpected obstacles or tragedies or accidents.

But there are really two types of people:

people with an external locus of control or an internal one.

And I find that the most successful people in the world

are people with an internal locus of control.

And that doesn't mean that they believe

that they influence everything that happens in their lives.

But it's almost like their immediate question

that they ask themselves when anything happens is,

okay, this happened,

what can I do about it to make it better?

And it's so important to have that mindset in life

because the alternative is what most people do.

I can't do what I want

because this thing came and crapped all over it.

I can't buy a house because the economy is so bad.

The focus is on the chaos.

And the problem with that is there will always be a thing,

there will always be negativity.

There will always be some crazy thing

that disadvantages you in some way, always.

Some more than others.

Life is unfair.

Sometimes the worst possible thing

doesn't happen to a particular individual.

Some people are just lucky or fortunate or blessed.

But the reality is, whatever happens, happens.

And if you happen to be super unlucky

and you have a lot of misfortune happen to you,

then it happened.

It's like you get dealt a bad hand at the poker table.

In poker, everybody deals with the exact same odds.

But there's still such thing as really good poker players

because they've learned to play the odds.

They've learned to take bad hands on the chin

or take a bad hand and pump up its value

by bluffing, et cetera, et cetera.

Like, you can still learn to play the game

even if you have a lot of bad luck.

So in life, you need to really focus

on being a better poker player.

You need to realize

that as soon as you pay attention to the thing itself,

that's never gonna be the reason why you aren't successful

or why you aren't happy or why your life is ruined.

The only way you can really ruin your life

is if you choose not to play the game.

So this might be a bad analogy

and maybe I'm trying to sound a lot smarter

than I actually am.

But the only thing you ever can do is ask yourself,

okay, this happened, what can I do about it?

It's the only thing anybody can ever do.

Try to thrive with your particular odds.

You can't wish for better odds.

You have the hand that you are dealt,

now make the most of it.

The next few tips are about interacting with other people,

because there are so many little things

that we do in conversation

that we don't realize make us horrible to be around.

And if people don't like being around you

or don't like having conversations with you,

you're basically playing life on hard mode.

So tip number six is don't steal the spotlight.

So I feel like we've all been in a conversation

with somebody who always tends to somehow

bring the conversation back

to something to do with themselves.

And it gets really exhausting

because after a while it feels like no matter what you say,

this person isn't really listening,

they just want to talk about themselves.

And the thing is, you're just never really that interested

in them monologuing about themselves.

You don't really care about their life,

you don't know them very well.

And even if you do know them very well,

that can get exhausting as well.

It's like, I already know you, bro.

Why are you talking about all this stuff

I know that didn't happen to you?

Like, why are you lying?

If you want to be somebody

that people just love having part of the group,

then you really need to monitor

how much you are stealing the microphone.

And one of the best ways to do that

is to ask more questions.

When somebody says anything like,

man, I really like that "Rocky" movie.

Rather than always being like, yeah, me too,

I think it's great.

You know what's better than that is "Indiana Jones".

See, that's just a dead conversation.

So next time someone says,

man, I really love that "Rocky" movie,

try to get in the habit of saying,

oh, what did you like about it, right?

Even something as simple as that

changes the entire conversation.

And then, you know, you can give your two cents obviously,

but then it becomes more of a back and forth.

Oh, what did you like about that movie?

Oh, what did you really like about that book?

What was your favorite part?

Would you recommend that I read it?

Why would you recommend that I read it?

Kind of dumb questions,

but sometimes dumb questions make for great conversation.

Just ask my brother Daniel.

Daniel is the king of dumb questions.

Okay, number seven is don't detract.

I'm becoming lazy with these

because I'm just taking the last video's tips

and just putting don't in front of it.

Because what's the opposite of detraction?

Praise. Praise.

I guess it's praise.

So one of the most toxic things you can possibly do

is talk shit about other people

behind their back constantly.

Sometimes people genuinely do things

that are disruptive to relationships,

their behavior is not good.

And you need to call it out.

But never have that be your default topic of conversation.

It should really be an exception.

Talking smack about other people

should never be sort of like

your favorite conversation topic.

That's what small-minded people do.

Yeah, don't do that.

You can't control other people.

You can't change other people.

And this goes back

to this internal versus external locus of control thing.

If you're not gonna do anything about it,

don't talk about it.

If you're not gonna do anything

or say something to the person that you're criticizing,

don't waste your energy on it.

Then it just becomes this like hyena pack prowling around,

sneering at the lions in the world or the bad hyenas.

I don't know. I'm bad at analogies today.

Just have a bigger mind. Talk about more positive things.

Talk about cooler ideas. Talk about better ideas.

Alright, before we get into our next tip,

I just want to thank Audible for sponsoring this video.

So the audio book I'm currently listening to

is "$100M Leads" by Alex Hormozi.

You guys probably know Alex Hormozi

from his YouTube channel.

He seems like a pretty cool guy.

I don't know him personally,

but I always enjoy listening to his audio books

because they offer a lot of value.

And since I'm working on a new startup,

which will be revealed at a later date,

I'm finding "$100M Leads"

to be just the perfect audio book for me right now.

And if any of you are interested

in marketing or making money online,

I highly recommend the audiobook.

And for those of you who don't know,

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Also, if you use my link below,

you can check out my personally curated listening list,

and you can also check out Audible's best of 2023 list,

because there are a lot of cool titles on there as well.

So if you're interested in joining me

and becoming big brained

and listening to some

of the greatest insights ever recorded,

then if you use my link in the description below

or text betterideas to 500-500,

you'll get a 30-day free trial.

Once again, use my link in the description below

or text betterideas to 500-500

to get your 30-day free trial.

And thanks again to Audible for sponsoring this video.

Okay, so tip number eight is to be consistent.

So what does that mean? I mean consistency of character.

Try as hard as you can

to be the same person behind closed doors

as you are in front of people.

Like, what the hell am I talking about, right?

I don't know, because I feel like we all play a role

around different people, right?

Like, you're not gonna be the same person

around your grandma

as you are around your homies.

But at the same time,

you shouldn't be that different, I don't think.

The more you're playing a role,

the more you're playing to a crowd,

you're not actually like just being who you are

and saying like, F it, we ball.

You're seeking validation.

You're hoping that whatever group you're in

finds you appealing.

But why would you live your life like that?

Why don't you find security in yourself?

It's far more relaxing and peaceful and exciting

to live your life in a way where you think what you think,

you like what you like, and you say what you say,

and you do what you want no matter who is around,

and you let the people who disapprove, disapprove, right?

Rather than trying to shapeshift

in every little group that you're in

and saying the perfect thing

that you think that that group will like

so that they like you more.

They don't like you, they like this persona, right?

Why would you live your life like that?

You really start to lose track of who you are as a person

when you live your life like that.

So instead sit there

and be like, hell yeah, I like this band.

I like this music group a lot. I like these movies.

I have these values.

I like this political candidate for these reasons.

And you really think about what you like genuinely.

And then you say those things

and you express those things no matter the crowd.

And then you can find your crowd when you do that.

Unless you actually think about these things

and ask yourself what you truly like,

you almost won't know what you like, right?

You won't have any opinions.

Don't be that person. Be consistent.

You will find internal peace in consistency.

Be the same person behind closed doors

in the comfort of your own home

as you are when you are at Taco Bell,

ruining your gut microbiome with your homies.

I've never done that in my life.

Tip number nine, don't wish for success. Plan for it.

So many of us get in the habit of mentally escaping,

thinking about, oh, it would be so nice

if I lived in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

I had this nice waterfront home.

Wouldn't it be nice if I had huge muscles and hair?

But little do we realize

that if we actually plan for these things, it might happen.

If we wish for them, it'll never happen.

But as soon as you put like a number,

like a dollar figure on how much money you wanna make,

you want to put a timeline

on what kind of house you want to have,

then you can actually see if it's feasible.

Then you actually start to conceptualize

or start to hammer into your little pea brain

the idea that, oh, this is actually a thing

that can happen and it has steps.

There's step one and two and three and 14 and 38,

and I can actually get these things.

I don't know really where I'm going with this, but.

Little pea brain.

Constantly wishing that things were different

really makes your present reality seem so horrible

because you're just constantly juxtaposing it to the ideal.

So if you feel kind of aimless in life,

you don't know what your future holds,

then create a vision of a future.

Go somewhere where you can think with a pen and paper

and really just outline

all the different categories of your life

and think about the specific people,

the specific factors in your life.

Write them down.

Write where you currently work,

how much you currently make,

the relationships you currently have

and the relationships that you want,

and really infuse it with your own hopes and dreams.

And then create a game plan for every single one of those.

And it doesn't need to be the best game plan at all.

In fact, it can be a kind of stupid game plan.

But if you write down a game plan

being like, oh, okay, if I want to make a million dollars,

then just ideally I would quit my job,

I would go work at this job.

Maybe I would make this and this much money.

I would save this. I would cancel this subscription.

Maybe I do this and this and this.

Like pretend you have all the willpower in the world

and write down the game plan if that were the case.

Then you realize, oh man, things are actually possible.

There is a way to get what I want.

It's probably the most important,

but I think I phrased it the absolute worst way

out of all of these tips.

So my apologize. My apologize?

Tip number 10 is to grow.

In the video how to ruin the rest of your life

or how to quickly, whatever I called it,

I talked about this idea of only doing activities

that make you feel small,

that cause you to shrink, that make you feel pathetic.

And the flip side is to pay attention to the activities

that make you feel powerful, that make you feel strong.

Going to the gym makes you feel strong.

Overcoming an obstacle makes you feel strong.

Talking to somebody that you need to talk to,

that you've been avoiding,

after the conversation, you'll feel strong.

You'll feel powerful and peaceful.

Pay attention to the wide smorgasbord of activities

that you can do in life

and the way they make you feel after having done them.

If you really have to write an essay,

think about how you would feel

and really feel how you would feel

after having done the essay.

Really melt into that feeling. Let it consume you.

Well, that is the feeling of doing your essay.

It's not this powerful, scary monster

that you have to confront and slay, right?

It's actually giving you access

to this profound feeling of serotonin, of power and peace.

It's a good time.

So focus on what's good about it and melt into that.

And you'll feel this like king-like regal energy,

because what's good for you is good,

and what's bad for you is bad.

So don't make what's good for you

into this very bad, scary,

I don't wanna do this thing thing.

Duh.

The final tip is don't despair, okay? Have hope.

You don't have to feel good all the time.

If you feel bad,

if you feel hopeless right now, that's okay.

You don't have to feel good.

You don't have to buy a house.

You don't have to get married.

You just are where you are. You are who you are.

You did what you did.

But if you're going in a particular direction,

that's the thing that you have control over.

You can go wherever you want to go

despite who you are and where you've been.

And if you really take that to heart,

then I really am big on this idea

of taking the time out of your day

to try to conceptualize

what a better future would look like for you,

because I feel like so often

the reason why we get hopeless or we feel despair,

it's because we can't even conceptualize

how life could be better.

And that's where people get hopeless.

We never take the time to conceptualize it,

and that's not fair.

I feel like we all need a vision of a better future,

and I feel like peace

is found in this like quiet understanding

that we're getting there, however slowly.

We're heading in that direction.

So figure out what you want, right?

Generate hope for yourself. Take the hopium, right?

But take detailed hopium, write it down specifically.

Put your self-doubt on mute for a short little while.

Think about what it would feel like to live in that future.

Feels pretty good.

As you think about what it would be like

for things to be better,

you'll probably feel a lot more relaxed

as you think about it.

You'll feel this sense of relief.

You would think to yourself, man, wouldn't that be nice?

What would that feel like?

Well, congratulations.

You just felt better.

By thinking positively,

by allowing yourself to experience hope,

you brought some of that hope into the present moment,

and you felt better right now.

I want you to feel that feeling as often as possible.

Use that as motivation.

That's the hopium tank that you need.

Insert the straw into your mouth and head in that direction.

Okay, guys, hopefully some of this stuff helped.

This is gonna be a really long video. I'm sorry about that.

I'm sorry to my editor who has to edit all this.

If you have any questions,

if you have anything that you wanna share,

please let me know in the comments section below.

This is the last video that I'm doing this year.

I would love to just hear from you guys,

how have you been this year?

What are some of the things that you want to do in 2024?

Kind of have a debrief in the comments section.

Thanks for a great year, guys.

I hope to see you again very, very soon on the channel.

Great things are up ahead for me and for you,

as long as we keep the hopium strong,

we conceptualize and plan for a better future,

a future that you want, as cheesy as that sounds.

But I feel like the theme for this coming year for me

is to do what I want to do,

not what I feel like I should do,

but what I actually want to do.

I'm gonna do what I want this year, this coming year,

starting now because I'm early.

I'm prepared.

Okay guys, see you later.

Please choose the correct answer for each question below: