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[Music]
Do you guys remember my old videos where I had Layla in the back?
I've actually had Layla since 2018.
I'll show a clip of that.
But she used to be in the background of my videos
when I was at my mom's house.
But I just want to show you  how tall she has grown now.
She's almost reaching the ceiling.
I feel like I have to like  cut her so that she can branch
because there's no more to grow.
Check out how much this plant  has grown in just one year.
How do we reframe our failures and low seasons
and see their true purpose in them?
Hello my loves.
Welcome back to Lavendaire.
It's been a while since I've  done a casual sitdown video
where I catch up and share my lessons
in this chill format.
I think for a while I haven't posted as much for two reasons.
One reason is I've been working a lot on the app Resonance.
I talked about that in a recent video.
But number two is that I think
I've started to like overthink videos sometimes.
I feel like they have to have like a right title,
topic, hook, and they have to be  like produced to a certain level.
And then I forget that sometimes
YouTube is just about me talking to you,
connecting like, just like this, right?
No extra frills or editing or voiceovers needed.
To be honest, life in the past couple months,
ever since I got back from my Asia trip,
has been very fast-paced with new energy.
I'm shooting a podcast today with my friend.
The podcast is called Local Godz,
and they're still recording  their previous episodes.
So, I'm just waiting right now. Fit check.
I'm on set. This is Mark.
Hi. Local godz.
What's up? I'm so excited.
That's a wrap. James, where are you?
Oh, a podcast OG.
New inspiration and motivation to work on the apps
and to go in a whole new direction
with my brand Lavendaire, right?
I think I'm kind of moving on to the next chapter and the next level.
As I spoke about in the last video.
But I just feel like I'm changing.
But every day I'm inspired  and I'm learning new things.
I'm sharing a lot less.
I haven't been, you know,
I haven't had the time to  like sit down and make videos
cuz that could be a full-time job on its own.
But I've been putting my energy in other areas
that have been new and exciting and fun.
And while I'm in this life stage now,
I took the time to reflect on the experiences
and the phases that led me here.
I had a lot of phases of failures and low seasons
and trial and error in life as a whole.
And it just again reminded me how important
it is to have low seasons and failures in life
in order to get to where you need to be.
TLDR, the low seasons give us the space to pause,
reset, reflect, and pivot, make changes.
Because something is not working,
so we need to start to change things up
and see what does work.
That's the beauty and the  gift that low seasons give us.
Ultimately, failures are a gain because
they are the knowledge gained,
the experience gained,
all the lessons you've learned
so that each one moves you closer to your goal,
closer to the success.
So don't be afraid of failure.
Don't be sad when you fail
because that failure is data.
It is experience that you now have in your life
in your arsenal that you can take from
and learn from and use that
to take you one step closer to the success.
First, let's talk about the low seasons.
So, when I say low seasons,
I mean seasons where things are not working out,
they're not going the way  that you wanted them to go,
or maybe you're feeling burnt out, unmotivated,
slow, unproductive, and not at your best self.
And things are just, they're not flowing.
Something is not working, something is off, you're feeling off.
I think we're so used to feeling
shame around those moments.
Like we're not allowed to have low seasons.
Like when we're in those seasons,
we are feeling like "I shouldn't be here.
How can I get out of here?
What can I do?
Why are things not working out?"
And you're just trying to fight it, right?
You're not understanding there is
a reason you got there and there is
a purpose for that low season.
And to use my life as an example,
I felt like my career has had its ups and downs,
but I and I had moments of like burnout
and then go ramping up and burn out again.
And basically content-wise,
in the past couple years,
I felt like I was in a low  season, uncertain season.
Didn't want to do the same  things over and over again,
but didn't know what was next.
And things that used to work
were starting to not work.
And that includes like my business,
like the shop and like the content,
how the algorithms and social  media is always changing.
And just feeling really tired from
just what I had been doing up to that point.
And having the desire to not share as much
and having the desire to just get quiet
and retreat and tend to other areas of my life.
Whether it's like health, home, family.
And for a long time I had  like a mental battle, right?
And I think I also negatively  influenced this low season
because I would be sometimes  in the mindset of fear
and the mindset of "Oh, I'm  scared of things failing.
I'm scared of things falling apart."
And I think the more you focus on that negativity,
the more the reality kind of  follows through with that reality.
And it just feels difficult to be in a low season
because you feel like things  are not going smoothly,
things are not going right
and you wish they were going better
and you're trying your best to get things moving,
but something is not working. Something is off.
And so in the low season of my life,
I found the seed of the birth of a new season.
And what I realized in hindsight,
what these low seasons give me
is they give me more time  and space for reflection.
They give me more time and space
to explore my curiosity, to explore new things,
to reflect on what's not working
and to do all that work that  takes a lot of inner work,
a lot of thinking, a lot  of meditating, journaling.
And it's from those experiences
and also the bravery
and the time to do something new or
to try to explore new things.
It's from that space of exploration
and reflection that you  can birth your next chapter
that you birth what's right for you because
you're not meant to be doing the same things
over and over again for the rest of your life.
You're meant to change, to grow, and evolve.
And so that's what those low seasons are.
They are just a recalibration.
For some reason, we feel like,
oh, life is supposed to go well all the time.
We're supposed to be flowing,  flowing, flowing, flowing,
and things are supposed to  be like always going well.
But that's not how it works.
If things are going well, you  have no incentive to change.
So for example, there was an  era of like my YouTube career
where I was like getting a lot of jobs,
a lot of opportunities, things were growing,
they were doing really well and I was really busy.
And on one hand, I was really productive
and busy and getting paid a lot, which is great.
But on the other hand, I  had no time for much else.
I had no time to tend to organizing my house,
to my self-care, to writing the book
that I've always wanted to write,
to just doing all these things
that I really wanted to do.
But I set them aside because I was so busy,
because I was getting so many opportunities.
And so, there's a time and place for everything.
So, who's to say which time is better or worse?
Because there's the really fast-paced time
where you're busy, but when you're busy,
you don't have time to reflect.
You don't have time to think of how you can change
and how you can improve.
You're just doing the same thing
because that thing is working.
When something's working,
there's no incentive to change.
But when things stop working,
like you're doing the same  things that used to work
and then eventually you get to a point
where it's not really working
or it's not really feeling right anymore.
Maybe something used to feel aligned,
something that you used to love,
but a few years later you're like,
it doesn't feel aligned anymore.
I don't think I love this thing anymore.
And that's okay because we grow and change.
So that's all I'm saying is that we need to learn
to embrace both the low moments
and the high moments and everything in between.
Everything has its purpose.
Everything is giving us something.
It's giving us gifts to take us to the next stage,
take us to the next level  of how we are meant to grow
and what we are meant to  experience in this lifetime.
If I were to never have a low moment,
if my career stayed on the same trajectory
and things were going well  and things were growing,
I wouldn't have the time to write the book
that I've always wanted to write.
I wouldn't have the time
to explore a completely new industry,
to go to all these conferences,
exploring tech and wondering,
oh, should I create an app?
Something completely different  than I've ever done before?
I wouldn't have the time or the space to do that.
But because I have the time and the space
and the incentive to make a change,
now I'm in a life state where I'm so excited
and I'm having fun again
because I'm doing something new,
something challenging.
And it's bringing me back to
how I used to feel like 10 years ago
when I created the first version of the workbook.
How excited I was, how challenging,
and how new it was back then. 10 years ago.
These are my workbooks from  2023 all the way down to 2017.
Look at this quality from the first version.
Oh my god, so funny.
And now I'm having that same feeling again
for a totally new field.
Because I wasn't meant to do
the same thing forever for the rest of my life.
Now let's talk about failures
and the beauty of trial and error.
So, I am the type of person  that has to try something
to see if it works for me.
And that's how I kind of learn
whether something is right for me or not.
You can't just sit there and think about
if something's going to work, right?
You have to actually take the action
and try it out and then  you kind of let it play out
and see what happens.
And so, for me, failure has always been
a part of the journey.
Obviously, it's not easy to deal with.
It happens though.
So you have to acknowledge
and accept that it is going  to be part of your journey
if you're taking any risk, any chance at all.
Like if you are brave to try anything new,
then you're going to have to accept that failure
might be one of the options, right?
It's probably going to be one of the options.
It's impossible to expect  yourself to do everything well
and everything perfectly every time.
Like that's just so unrealistic.
So failure and mistakes are  all part of the process,
but each one is an experience gained
that gives you so much.
Something that you can like
stepstone towards your success.
And so I'll give you an example of
my I guess life path as a whole.
So when I started out,
I knew I didn't want to work a corporate job,
but I didn't know what I wanted to do.
I knew I wanted to have this version of a life
that was creative and free,
where I can travel whenever I want,
where I had financial freedom
and creative freedom, location freedom,
all of these things.
But I just didn't know what  path would get me there.
So instead of sitting there and
thinking about it, I had to explore.
I had to literally take action and
try all the different paths  that I was curious about.
And so I tried music, I pursued acting.
I was doing like TV hosting
and being a spokesperson, doing PR,
marketing, event planning.
I just threw myself in all these different roles
just so that I can experience it.
So when I graduated for a few years,
I was pursuing music as an artist.
So I was trying to be a singer,
songwriter, music producer.
I was taking songwriting classes,
music production classes.
I was performing multiple times a month,
going from place to place.
And I was really really pursuing that path,
doing all that I could, making songs,
posting YouTube videos of me singing
and trying working on like my first album.
So through taking the action
and going through the motions,
it started to reveal itself to me that
there were parts of this career
that I didn't really like.
It didn't really fit into my ideal vision
of my ideal life and my ideal career.
And so something that I thought I wanted
so bad at the time started to not be exactly
what I thought it would be.
For example, one aspect of being an artist
and a performer is that you have to tour, right?
Even if you're a recording artist,
you make albums, there's  still a part of your career
where you are out there playing concerts
and touring, going from city to city.
So I had the experience and back then
I was just a oneperson team.
I had like my keyboard, my stand, my mic.
I lugged all my equipment in my car
and unloaded and loaded back into the car
like every time I went out to perform.
So I realized that that  experience of going, traveling
to perform like loading, unloading, setting up,
taking down, it was so exhausting
and I really didn't like  the logistics of the travel
and the going outside to perform  aspect of being an artist.
And so I realized then that I actually prefer
a career where I can be at home.
I do everything online.
It's just so much more convenient
and ideal for me personally  as an introvert, right?
I just get exhausted when  I'm going from place to place
driving here and there.
And so that's an example of trial and error.
Is that through trying it out,
I realized what didn't work for me.
And it led me down to explore
other paths that could work for me.
So sometimes you want something so bad
and it's like you want it to work out so well,
but there might be like a failure.
Even if there might not be a failure,
you might feel in your body that
eventually it changes, right?
You thought you wanted this thing,
but hm, doesn't feel right anymore.
It feels a little off. That is a sign.
That is a sign that it is taking you forward to
where you're meant to go.
You're getting clues. You're gaining experience.
It's only through the experiences that I've gained
that I have learned to like  improve it on the next iteration.
And so, this brings me to like my experience now,
me working on the app.
I realized that this whole  time of building Lavendaire,
I had been trial and erroring  my business model, right?
As a content creator, there's so many ways
that you could make money, but at the same time,
different ways have pros and cons.
Some are more unpredictable than others.
Some have a compromise to your creativity, right?
When you do brand deals, there's  a compromise to your creativity.
Or when you're just like living  off the YouTube algorithm
and the YouTube AdSense that is so unpredictable.
Like any day social media can change
and you're like your business model is
it doesn't make sense anymore.
And so all of these years,
the past 10 years behind  the scenes for Lavendaire,
I've been trial and erroring the business model
and I haven't felt like I found something
that really worked long term until now.
Like I thought I found it with the shop with like
the Lavendaire workbook and the stationary
and I really really wanted that to be like
the strong business model but the truth is
it's not and it hasn't gotten there and maybe
it's because stationary is too niche of a thing
that it's not sustainable.
I've also learned through the experience that
like product businesses are  so expensive to just maintain
upkeep because not only do  you have to buy inventory,
it's like the logistics cost  so much like the shipping,
handling, warehousing, like that  stuff is just it's it's a lot, right?
And so digital businesses  like just selling something
digital like an online course  or something is so much easier
because there's no physical  good that needs to be handled.
And so there's pros and cons
with different types of businesses
and different types of business models.
And so I've just been  experimenting this whole time.
I launched Dream Life Club.
I launched our Mastermind.
And I ran that for I think 3 years.
And I recently closed it in  May because it just something
was not working anymore.
Like people were joining but like
I think it's hard to get people to stay engaged
throughout like a year.
And so again, with every experience,
with everything that I'm  trying, it's a trial and error.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't work.
Sometimes something can work for a few years.
Like the workbook, it still  is working to a certain level,
but it it has its ups and downs and it has moments
where you realize this is not  probably going to work long term.
It's not the ideal business  model or the ideal path
that's going to take me to  where I want to be ideally.
And this is not just talking  about the money aspect,
but also like the mental health aspect.
As a content creator, if you rely all your income
on brand deals and social media,
like YouTube, AdSense, it's so unpredictable.
It's out of your control. It can be up and down.
You can never like estimate in a year how much
you're going to make. It's just so random.
And something with the workbook,
at least what I love about the shop is I own it.
It is my business, right? But  again, the workbook is seasonal.
So I have no idea how a launch  is going to do until October.
Like literally the workbook  is October through January
is like where we make most of the shop sales and
I have I just don't know how to predict because every year is different.
And that always gives a lot of anxiety
and a lot of stress during the year end time.
When it's holiday season
when I really just want to be  relaxing and enjoying my time
with my family and my friends.
So every year for the past 10 years is stressful
and again it's like lifestylewise it's not super ideal.
I would like something that is more consistent
more like year round evergreen that
I can feel a little bit more  balanced in the lifestyle
and also the business model.
So that's what I realized  I've been trial and erroring
this whole time, all of these years.
And now I'm super excited about
the new app that I'm creating.
I'm working on Resonance first
and then if that goes well, then
I will build Align for any of you guys
who are wondering on the update on that.
But I'm just so excited because  I see so much potential.
I see the potential in this  being just a more balanced
type of model and also a more scalable  model because it's all digital.
And I'm literally doing the same thing.
Once like the hard part is building it.
But once it's built, I'm doing the same thing.
I'm creating content for the app.
I'm creating audios and I  also am having a lot of fun
because I'm getting to use my music side,
the side that I kind of put aside for a long time,
but I'm having so much fun curating music
for this app because half of it is going to be
my guided audios and then the other half
is going to be music playlist for relaxing,
for focusing, for creative flow,
and even sound healing.
I love listening to like calming,
relaxing playlist throughout the day.
I have my different moods, right?
And so I love curating music playlists
that make your life feel just more at peace,
more centered, and more elevated.
So, I've been having a lot of fun just in general
with this whole creative process.
One of my biggest passions in life,
probably my biggest passion in life,
is having a vision and then making it real.
That's that's what I do best.
It's what I love to do and it's what I do best.
That is how I see my life.
Like having a vision for my life and
then trying to make it real  and then having a vision
like in a product and then making it real.
And then if you look at this house like
I spent a whole year like envisioning this house
and then working on making it real.
And now that the house is done,
this feels like my biggest like art project.
The biggest physical art project is my house,
but I'm always working on creative projects.
And so the current project
I'm working on now is Resonance.
So I'll leave the waitlist link down below
in case you guys want to  sign up for that waitlist.
But going back to the topic of  failures and trial and error,
I realized that every experience that
I had leading up to this  point taught me something.
It gave me experience.
It gave me more knowledge or data
to work with so that I can do  the next thing even better.
Like even though we ended  the run of Dream Life Club,
that was 3 years of experience  of me doing monthly events.
I was doing live meditations and live events
almost every single month for those years.
And I built so much confidence.
Like if I just close my eyes and put on a track,
I can freestyle meditations.  I can freestyle a flow.
Like I just feel like there's a part of me
that when I'm really tapped in,
I just I can freestyle something and
whatever comes out of me, I'm just like,
"Wow, where did I where did I think of that?"
It tapped into a different side of me
that was so different from me writing a script
for a YouTube video or preparing  something for a YouTube video.
So typically my guided meditation process is
I write a script, then I read the script.
But from Dream Life Club, I  experienced like just doing it live,
not even writing a script and not even planning,
just maybe having an outline.
And I realized that I can do that as well.
And I got practice doing that over and over again.
And so I can do either, right?
I can prepare the script or not.
But either way, I have more experience
and more confidence to create audios
and to create this type of content.
And that further strengthens like
the next thing I'm building, which is Resonance.
The lesson here is if you are in a place
where you feel like things are not working out and
you're struggling, you really  wish and you really want
for things to work out but  they're not working out.
That is just knowledge,  experience that you are gaining
that will take you closer  to what will work for you.
So you are just moving up the ladder in life
because if the first thing worked then
that would be boring, right?
And honestly, like life is  going to take you to places
that you could never expect.
And so, a big part of this  is learning to trust that
you are on the right path.
Even if things are not working,
it's a sign for you to reflect,
see what you can learn,
see what lessons you can  gain from this experience.
Even if in the moment you don't know
what the lesson is, that's okay.
Because that was how it felt like for me, too.
I'm just like, this just feels like a fail,
but I don't know what the lesson is.
But eventually it will make sense. You'll be like
"Oh my gosh, I'm using what I  learned in that experience."
All right, my loves.
Let me know down below:
What is the biggest lesson that
you've learned from your failures in the past?
Sending you so much love
and I'll see you in the next one.
Bye.
[Music]

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