Trapped In The Drive-Thru
By
Weird Al Yankovic
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("Trapped in the Drive-Thru"
by Weird Al Yankovic)
♪ Seven O'Clock in the evening ♪
♪ Watchin' somethin' stupid on TV ♪
♪ I'm zoned out on the sofa ♪
♪ When my wife comes in
the room and sees me ♪
♪ And she says, is this Behind
the Music with Lynard Skynard ♪
♪ And I say, I don't know ♪
♪ Say, it's gettin' late,
watcha wanna do for dinner ♪
♪ She says, I kinda had a big lunch ♪
♪ So I'm not super hungry ♪
♪ I said, well you know, baby,
I'm not starvin' either ♪
♪ But I could eat ♪
♪ She said, so whadya have in mind ♪
♪ I said, I don't know what about you ♪
♪ She said, I don't care, if
you're hungry, let's eat ♪
♪ I said, that's what we're gonna do ♪
♪ But first you gotta tell me ♪
♪ What it is you're hungry for ♪
♪ And she says, let me think ♪
♪ What's left in our refrigerator ♪
♪ I said, well, there's tuna, I know ♪
♪ She said, that went bad a week ago ♪
♪ I said is the chili okay ♪
♪ She said you finished that yesterday ♪
♪ I hopped up and I said ♪
♪ I don't know, do you want
to get something delivered ♪
♪ She's like, why would
I want to eat liver ♪
♪ I don't even like liver ♪
♪ I'm like, no, I said delivered ♪
♪ She's like, I heard you say liver ♪
♪ I'm like, I should know what I said ♪
♪ She's like, whatever, I
just don't want any liver ♪
♪ Well I was gonna say something ♪
♪ But my cell phone started to ring ♪
♪ Now who could be callin' me ♪
♪ Well I checked my caller ID ♪
♪ It was just cousin Larry ♪
♪ Callin' for the third time today ♪
♪ My wife said, let it go to voicemail ♪
♪ I said, okay ♪
♪ Where were we oh, dinner, right ♪
♪ So what d'ya want to do ♪
♪ She said, why don't you whip
up somethin' in the kitchen ♪
♪ Yeah, I said, why don't you ♪
♪ And then she said, ♪
♪ Baby, ♪ can't we just
go out to dinner, please ♪
♪ I says, no, she says, yes, I says, no, ♪
♪ She says, yes I says,
no, she says, yes ♪
♪ Oh, here's your keys ♪
♪ I step a little bit closer ♪
♪ Say okay, where ya want to go ♪
♪ She says, how about The Ivy ♪
♪ I said, yeah, well I don't know ♪
♪ I don't feel like
gettin' all dressed up ♪
♪ And eatin' expensive food ♪
♪ She's says, Olive Garden ♪
♪ I say, nah, I'm not in the mood ♪
♪ And Burrito King would make
me gassy there's no doubt ♪
♪ She says, just forget about it ♪
♪ I said no, I swear
I'm gonna take you out ♪
♪ Then I get an idea ♪
♪ I says, I know what we'll do ♪
♪ She says, what, I say,
guess, she says, what ♪
♪ I say we're goin' to the drive-thru ♪
♪ So we head out the front door ♪
♪ Open the garage door ♪
♪ Then I open the car doors ♪
♪ And we get in those car doors ♪
♪ Put my key in the ignition ♪
♪ And then I turn it sideways ♪
♪ Then we fasten our seat belts ♪
♪ As we pull out the driveway ♪
♪ Then we drive to the drive-thru ♪
♪ Heading off to the drive-thru ♪
♪ We're approaching the drive-thru ♪
♪ Getting close to the drive-thru ♪
♪ Almost there at the drive-thru ♪
♪ Now we're here at the drive thru ♪
♪ Here in line at the drive-thru ♪
♪ Did I mention the drive-thru ♪
♪ Well here we are in the
drive-thru line, me and her ♪
♪ Cars in front of us,
cars in back of us ♪
♪ All just waiting to order ♪
♪ There's some idiot in a Volvo ♪
♪ With his brights on behind me ♪
♪ I lean out the window and scream ♪
♪ Hey, whatcha tryin to do, blind me ♪
♪ My wife says, maybe we should park ♪
♪ We could just go eat inside ♪
♪ I said, I'm wearin' bunny slippers ♪
♪ So I ain't leavin' this ride ♪
♪ Now a woman on a speaker box ♪
♪ Is sayin', can I take
your order, please ♪
♪ I said, yes indeed, you certainly can ♪
♪ We'd like two hamburgers
with onions and cheese ♪
♪ Then my wife says, baby,
hold on, I've changed my mind ♪
♪ I think I'm gonna have
a chicken sandwich ♪
♪ Instead, this time ♪
♪ I said, you always get a cheeseburger ♪
♪ She says, that's not
what I'm hungry for ♪
♪ I put my head in my hands and screamed ♪
♪ I don't know who you are anymore ♪
♪ The voice on the speaker says ♪
♪ I don't have all day ♪
♪ I said, then, take our order ♪
♪ And we'll be on our way ♪
♪ I wanna get a chicken sandwich ♪
♪ And I want a cheeseburger, too ♪
♪ She's like you want onions on that ♪
♪ I'm like, yeah, I
already said that I do ♪
♪ Plus we need curly fries ♪
♪ And don't you dare forget it ♪
♪ And two medium root beers ♪
♪ No, just one, we'll split it ♪
♪ Then I said I'm guessin' that ♪
♪ You're probably not too bright ♪
♪ So read me back my order ♪
♪ Let's make sure you got it right ♪
♪ She says, one, you
want a chicken sandwich ♪
♪ Two, you want a cheeseburger ♪
♪ Three, curly fries,
and a large root beer ♪
♪ Stop, don't go no further ♪
♪ I never ordered a large rootbeer ♪
♪ I said medium, not large ♪
♪ Then she says, we're havin' a special ♪
♪ I supersized you at no charge ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ And that's all I could say was oh ♪
♪ And she says, now
there is somethin' else ♪
♪ That I really think you should know ♪
♪ You can have unlimited refills ♪
♪ For just a quarter more ♪
♪ I say, great, except
we're in the drive thru ♪
♪ So what would I want that for ♪
♪ Then she says, Wait a minute ♪
♪ Your voice sounds so
familiar hey, is this Paul ♪
♪ And my wife is all like
no, that ain't Paul ♪
♪ Now tell me, who's this Paul ♪
♪ She says, Oh, he's just some guy ♪
♪ Who goes to school with me ♪
♪ I sat behind him last year ♪
♪ And I copied off him in Geometry ♪
♪ I said, I know a guy named Paul ♪
♪ He used to be my plumber ♪
♪ He was prematurely bald ♪
♪ And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer ♪
♪ He also had bladder problems ♪
♪ And a really bad infection on his toe ♪
♪ And she said Mister, please,
you can stop right there ♪
♪ That's way more than I needed to know ♪
♪ And then we both were quiet ♪
♪ And things got real intense ♪
♪ Then she says, next window please ♪
♪ That'll be five dollars and 82 cents ♪
♪ So we inched ahead in line ♪
♪ Movin' painfully slow ♪
♪ I got a little bored so
I turned on the radio ♪
(rock music)
♪ Click, turned it off ♪
♪ Because my wife was getting a headache ♪
♪ So we both just sat there
quietly for her sake ♪
♪ Then I looked at her ♪
♪ And she looked back at me ♪
♪ And I said, um, I think you
have somethin' in your teeth ♪
♪ She turned away from me ♪
♪ And then turned back
and said did I get it ♪
♪ I said yeah well, I mean, most of it ♪
♪ But hey, ya know, don't sweat it ♪
♪ Then she said, how about now ♪
♪ I said, yeah, almost ♪
♪ There's still a little bit there ♪
♪ But don't worry, it's
probably just a piece of toast ♪
♪ Now we're at the pay window ♪
♪ Or whatever you call it ♪
♪ Put my hand in my pocket ♪
♪ I can't believe there's no wallet ♪
♪ And the lady at the window's like ♪
♪ Well, well, well, that'll be 5.82 ♪
♪ I turn around to my wife, and say ♪
♪ How much have you got on you ♪
♪ She just rolls her eyes and says ♪
♪ I'll pay for this, I guess ♪
♪ So she reaches into her purse ♪
♪ And busts out the American Express ♪
♪ I hand it to the lady ♪
♪ And she says, oh, dear ♪
♪ It's gotta be cash only ♪
♪ We don't take credit cards here ♪
♪ I took back the card and said ♪
♪ Gee, really well that sucks ♪
♪ And that's when I found out ♪
♪ My wife was only carryin' three bucks ♪
♪ I said, I thought you were
going to hit the ATM today ♪
♪ She says, I never got around to it ♪
♪ So where's your wallet anyway ♪
♪ And I said never mind ♪
♪ Just help me to find some change ♪
♪ Now the lady at the window's
lookin' at me kinda strange ♪
♪ And she says, mister, please ♪
♪ We gotta move this line along ♪
♪ I said now hold your
stinkin' horses lady ♪
♪ We won't be long ♪
♪ So, we looked around
inside the glove-box ♪
♪ And check the mat beneath my feet ♪
♪ I found a nickel in the ashtray ♪
♪ And a couple pennies and a dime ♪
♪ In the space between he seats ♪
♪ Before long I had a little pile ♪
♪ Of coins of every sort ♪
♪ The lady counts it up and says ♪
♪ You're still about a dollar short ♪
♪ And now my woman's got this
weird look frozen on her face ♪
♪ She screams, you know, I
wasn't even really hungry ♪
♪ In the first place ♪
♪ And so I turned around ♪
♪ To the cashier again ♪
♪ I shrugged and said okay ♪
♪ Forget the chicken sandwich then ♪
♪ So I pick up my change ♪
♪ Pick up my receipt ♪
♪ And I drive to the pickup window ♪
♪ Man, I just can't wait to eat ♪
♪ And now we see this
acne ridden kid about 16 ♪
♪ Wearin' a dorky name tag that says ♪
♪ Hello, my name is Eugene ♪
♪ And he hands me a paper bag ♪
♪ I look him in the eyes ♪
♪ And I say to him, hey, Eugene ♪
♪ Could I get some ketchup for my fries ♪
♪ Well he looks at me ♪
♪ And I look at him ♪
♪ And he looks at me ♪
♪ And I look at him ♪
♪ And he looks at me ♪
♪ And I look at him ♪
♪ And he says, I'm sorry ♪
♪ What did you want again ♪
♪ I say ketchup ♪
♪ And he says, oh yeah, that's right ♪
♪ I just spaced out there for a second ♪
♪ I'm really kind of burnt tonight ♪
♪ And then he hands me the ketchup ♪
♪ And now we're finally drivin' away ♪
♪ And the food is drivin' me mad ♪
♪ With its intoxicating bouquet ♪
♪ I'm starvin' to death ♪
♪ By the time we pull up
at the traffic light ♪
♪ I say, baby, gimme that burger ♪
♪ I just gotta have a bite ♪
♪ So she reaches in the bag ♪
♪ And pulls out the burger ♪
♪ And she hands me the burger ♪
♪ And I pick up the burger ♪
♪ And then I unwrap the paper ♪
♪ I bite into those buns ♪
♪ And I just can't believe it ♪
♪ They forgot the onions ♪
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