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hello
welcome to lemon
i'll be your server what can i get
started for you today have you ever
eaten him before no they have the
greatest steak sandwich in the city
that's all i get when i'm here trust me
it's fantastic that sounds perfect i'll
have the seafood salad
okay and for you sir um i'm gonna have
the yes oh could i have extra clams
extra calamari and extra crab meat
of course
and for you sir i'm gonna have this oh
and could i have a lobster tail right on
top and extra mussels lots of muscles
the ones from new zealand not the ones
from jersey because they got them black
hairs who knows what's in those now that
could be really toxic are you done
because there are a few species that you
haven't mentioned yet
go ahead go ahead i'm gonna have oh
could i have a diet coke
and for you sir i'm gonna have a tuna
sandwich whole wheat toast and a nice
tea very good
now why would you order a tuna sandwich
when you said they had the best steak
sandwiches in the city because while you
were ordering half of the atlantic ocean
i developed a hankering for the only
fish left on the menu
touche oh man two shame
so let me ask you a question if you
don't know who i am how come your ex
didn't come i caught him cheating on me
yeah and he said it was because i'm the
worst lady in the world and trust me
he is wrong okay you ought to see my
moves it's circus donate
okay well let's uh let's get through
lunch first
i break your back old man thank you yeah
have you laid out
dead with a smile on your face
and your kids will be like how did he
die how did my dad die and i would just
have to look at them in their eyes and
say
on top of me
that's a really lovely thought
you funny old man
i'm glad i came even if it was to shove
you up my ex's big fat ass
now there's a compliment you don't hear
every day
whoa look what the tide brought in
thank you very much
uh emma enjoy your buffet
so
i take it you like comedy
no
you don't
i mean i love to laugh but in real life
you know
well you know that's what i do in real
life i'm a comedy writer you ever
watched this just in on sunday nights on
the funny network
i also uh write for broadway and um
movies and five books and
and um
what do you do
i mean why is your face suddenly bigger
than it was before okay
okay for my lip oh my god are you
allergic to seafood oh certainly i love
what what should i do got a heartbeat
what got a heartbeater what
oh my god
okay what did you do i didn't do
anything
what in god's name is wrong with you
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