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[Music]
I need that bed. Why? Because I need it.
Why? Because if someone were to break in
here in the middle of the night wanting
to murder us, they would attack this bed
first. So, I need this bed. So, you're
saying that you want me to get murdered
first in front of you? And then what
would you do? Would you just run away
and leave me to bleed out on the floor?
Uh, sort of. That was the plan. Yeah.
Okay. Well, you can have the bed when I
leave. Well, where are you going?
Stavros is flying in to get me. I told
you that. What do you mean Stavros is
What do you mean when when is he doing
that? Like whenever stupid Mary Kate
stops hogging his plane. Well, where are
we going?
Okay. At present, he's just coming for
me. But then I figured that we would
just come back and grab you guys at some
point.
What kind of
sociopath abandons her family in some
vomit soaked dump to gallivant around
the world with her dumb shipping air
loser boyfriend she's known for 3
months. Um, David, it will be 4 months
next month. Oh my god. And he just told
me that he could potentially see himself
considering saying I love you at some
point sometime soon. So that's the
stupidest thing I've ever heard. I'm
telling mom. Telling mom and dad. Have
you told them? No, David. I'm waiting
for the right opportunity, okay?
Otherwise, dad's going to cry and mom's
going to do that thing where she where
she pretends that nothing's wrong and
then just doesn't talk to me for 5
months. And I don't want that. Well, I
need this bed. I need it. So, you know
what,
David? You get murdered first for what?
No, you get murdered first. David, you
get murdered first. No, you. What is
this? The 12 things of milk that you
asked for. the 12 things of
milk. I didn't ask for 12 things of
milk. I didn't I didn't say things. No,
I asked for 12 pints. Is there one
missing? Alexis, what? These are not
pints. Pints are little bottles.
Oh, okay. Cuz I was wondering why would
dad order $300 worth of milk.
This cost $300.
Yeah. Well, like threeish. I don't
um Okay. Well, 3.94.440. So, I guess
kind of closer to four. Alexis, what am
I going to do with $400 worth of raw
milk? Sell it. To whom? To your
customers. I don't have any customers.
Well, then why would you order so much
milk? I didn't. You did. Babe, why are
you yelling at me? Why am I yelling?
You try and do something nice for
somebody, you think I would at least
deserve a thank you. Oh, well, thank
you, Alexis. Thank you for ordering an
insane amount of milk that I will never
be able to sell. You're welcome.
Stevie, where's my employee of the
month?
What's up?
Wow, look at you. Yeah. Use some of that
makeup you gave me. Oh, is that what it
is? Mhm. Yeah. I thought it was the
shoes. Now, something about this feels
really right. I can't believe that I
didn't think to buy all this for myself.
So, I'm happy to man the desk for you
this afternoon if you've got stuff to
do. No, no, no. I I can keep working
here. No, Mr. Rose, I insist. I feel
like I'm long overdue for some quality
like facetime with the guests. Oh, okay.
Well, if that's what you feel. You know
what the great thing about this is?
Right after work, I can go do a quick
shift over at Bazonga's Gentleman's
Lounge. All right, I'm getting the hint.
Hint. What hint? Look, Stevie, I'm not
necessarily known for my giftgiving
skills, but Arlene down at the store
said this is what all the young locals
are buying. And I No, I really
appreciate the gift, but let's just
agree that going forward, we don't need
gifts to express our mutual
appreciation. Understood.
Now, unfortunately, we haven't quite
found your aunt Moren's ashes, but we
know they're here somewhere.
Okay. Well, that's encouraging. The
problem is they all come in from the
crematorium on the same day, and
sometimes they're not labeled.
Oh, is it possible someone else picked
them up? Unlikely. I see your great aunt
has a sister. Yeah, they haven't spoken
in 20 years. And a stepson. He's in
prison. And a cousin who's also
deceased.
What? I didn't know. That side of my
family has a bit of a reputation for
conflict. Okay. And
philandering and fraud. Yeah. And
gunplay. Well, I'm sure her remains will
turn up.
But we should talk about
u this one, I guess. Oh, that's the
shipping tube we packed the urns in.
Found them. They were on top of the
microwave. Wonderful. Oh, that reminds
me. Can you get us some whitener for the
coffees?
Oh, what have I been using?
Okay, I'm going to put that down. And
what about the service?
Well, since it's just going to be us
attending, I think we can do without. I
see. Now, I know this may sound
premature, but have the two of you
thought about the planning of your own
funerals?
Okay, I think we got what we came here
for, so we I think we can just Thank you
so much.
I'd like to check in, please. Oh my god,
where did you come from? I said hello
twice. Well, hello. Hello,
then. There you go. Room three. Don't
you need my credit card? My associates
will deal with all that when you depart.
Also, how many beds are in the room?
Two. Would it be possible to get a cot
or a rollaway bed put in the room? Oh,
you're expecting company? No, I use it
to lay out my clothes. The chest of
drawers should suffice. No, I like to
see all my clothes at once.
Might the other bed not do? Yes, except
I haven't decided which bed to sleep in.
So, that's tricky. Really? The cot would
be best. A cot it is then. Thank you.
Oh, and are the pillows feather or foam?
Yes. Sorry, which one? I don't care. I'm
sorry. I don't know. I'm not entirely
versed on the contents of the motel's
pillow collection. I was just asking.
And I'm very much looking forward to the
moment when that stops. Well, enjoy your
stay.
John, shut the
blinds. John, please.
Moira,
Roland, what are you doing in my room?
What are you talking about? This is my
room. What the are you doing in your
room?
Well, I was trying to sleep until you
started pounding on the door, telling me
to whip you up a salmon
plate. I finally let you in. You flaked
out on the bed. Oh my god.
Are you naked under there? Honey, what I
do in the privacy of my sheets is my own
business.
No. No. God, no. Oh, God. No. No. Dear
God, welcome to RAMP.
God, no.
Thank you so much for taking me out,
David. I really needed it, especially
after everything that is going on with
mom. Okay. Is that the reason or is it
because I'm on a buying trip and that
means you get free samples. We make a
very good team, David. You do the
talking and I sample the merchandise.
And speaking of, we might have to circle
back and get more of these peanut butter
things from those old farm witches. They
were Menanites and I would put the
peanut butter square down. We're about
to spend the afternoon sampling a lot of
cheese. Hm. Nom nom for us babe. Never
say nom nom again.
Good morning. Is there something I could
help you with? Yeah. I'd like you to
open your cash register and give me your
money. Okay. Small problem. Um, our
money isn't for sale. I'm robbing you.
Thought so. Yeah. Um, I'm going to ask
you one more time. Hey. Hey. Where do
you think you're going
here? So, here's the problem. Um, our
till doesn't currently have any cash in
it because my partner is at the bank
getting money for the float. What about
you? What do you have? Wallet full of
debt. Can someone put something in a
bag, please? Um, we only have cloth
totes. I hope that's okay. Whatever.
Would you like some wine? Okay. Yeah.
Yes. Put some booze in a bag. Do you
drink red wine or white wine? Maybe some
chilled rosé in the back. I'll get it.
I'm not letting you go into the back.
What else?
Cheese goes good with wine. Suddenly
she's a sales associate. Would you like
some cheese? Uh, yeah. I'll take some
cheese. God forbid he'd be specific. I
guess I'll throw in some breeze. Some
aged cheddar. Uh, that tapen goes good
with a brie. Tapod's great. Yeah. Yeah.
Uh, do you have bad skin? Yeah, sure.
Just hurry it
up. There you go.
Could you help the man with the door?
His hands are full. Sorry. Thank you.
Okay. Thank you.
Why do I feel like we did something
wrong? John, can you turn off your
alarm? David, I've asked you not to
overindulge in that smoky cologne. It's
enough to give someone a seizure.
Is someone
vaping? Oh, no. Not now. Help. Alexa,
no. This is not This is not how I go.
Somebody help,
Moira. Stevie, thank God I'm being
annoyed by a chor.
Okay, hang
on. Okay. All right. All right. Okay.
Up. Up. Here we go. Jeez, Moira. I wait
till at least 10:30 before I have my
first beer. Oh, my legs are in slumber.
Carry me. Well, I can't. Oh, jeez. Okay.
You know, Mara, if Johnny locked you in
that closet, we're going to have to call
the police. Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
My babies. No, your kids aren't here. My
girls. What girls? My girls. Laura,
second from the left. Okay. If she takes
on smoke, she'll never recover. Hey,
this this one. And Cindy. Cindy. Below.
And Cindy. I just gave her a blowout. It
is my great pleasure to welcome you to a
North American screening of the
psychological thriller. Move it along.
The crows have eyes three. The croning.
Let the crawling commence.
[Laughter]
Please, everyone, stay calm. Whatever
you do, do not look them in the eye.
You're making them angrier. Not Alexis.
I know a bit of their language.
[Applause]
This is
[Music]
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