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Translate:
Oh, hi-- hi--
hi.
Look.
Look look-look-- look over there.
Today there's going to be some pedicures and pampering.
There's going to be some nap time.
But it's not for me.
It's for these little guys.
Meet Kerry Brown.
I'm going to spend the day at D Pet Hotels
to see what it takes to give their furry clientele
the full luxury experience.
I put her to sleep with my massaging.
Could you believe that George is single now?
We've become fast friends, just in this intro.
I am in D Pet Hotels with the most adorable little dog
ever in my lap in a pink chair.
What happens here?
What is this place?
This is New York City's most luxurious hotel for dogs.
We offer everything from overnight boarding,
grooming, daycare services.
We have private chefs.
We have--
You have private chefs for dogs?
We do.
Our most luxurious suites have a full-size bed,
a 42-inch flat-screen TV.
What do you put on TV? "Lassie"?
Exactly.
Dog movies.
"Scooby Doo"--
- "Scooby Doo"! - Yeah!
(SCOOBY DOO VOICE) Huuuuh?
Maybe that's the voice you need.
Oh yeah-- I see it works.
It works.
You guys really know what you're doing.
So what exactly do I get to do here?
We have one of our regular clients named DJ,
who's coming in for a makeover.
You're going to be doing a treadmill workout.
You have a gym here?
We have a gym called "PANT."
That's fantastic.
And then we'll do a story time too.
I can do a story time?
Once upon a time, there was an amazing television show host.
KERRY BROWN: You ready to meet your dog?
Yeah, I'm ready.
Let's rock this.
I don't think you're ready to get up.
We're not ready.
Just maybe five more minutes.
Please.
So what am I looking at?
This is the window into Dog World.
KERRY BROWN: This is our medium-sized dog park
where all the medium-sized dogs get
to play and run around all day.
Which one is mine?
KERRY BROWN: DJ is the one right at the top of the slide.
She's so adorable.
And I like it-- she's on top.
KERRY BROWN: She's the queen of the castle.
JASON: Yeah, absolutely.
So when we go in there, it's going to be a lot of barking.
All the girls are going to be like, "Oh, my god!
That's Jason from HGTV!
Arararararararararararararara ra!"
Right?
I can sign autographs.
- Let's-- let's see. - Let's see?
Or maybe not?
Maybe not.
So you're ready to go in there?
So ready, I was born ready.
Let's go.
Yeah!
That's your girl.
I wanted to have everybody, but it was just so hard.
Hi!
You look so chill.
Look how cute!
All day.
Coolest job in the world.
Pardon me, little buddies!
So what am I looking at here?
KERRY BROWN: This is our grooming tub.
What?
Yeah, you got to talk loud.
Use your hands, too. - Yeah, yeah.
KERRY BROWN: This is the tub. JASON: OK.
KERRY BROWN: When you wash her, make
sure the temperature is good.
You'll keep one hand on her.
And you'll just start getting her wet
just like you would wash a car.
JASON: OK.
Let me get them pits.
Sometimes you go get in the pits.
KERRY BROWN: Yeah, big yellow bottle there,
squirt it on her a little bit.
And you're just going to start working it through her coat.
And you can massage her.
It feels good on her.
JASON: Welcome to the Salon de Jason.
Can I get you a coffee or something, ma'am?
She fell asleep.
I put her to sleep with my massaging even.
That's it.
Let it out!
You ready to get blow-dried, little buddy?
(LADY VOICE) "Yes."
She said yes.
We've patted dry with a towel.
Now I have this amazing sort of giant dryer.
Tell me that I get to use it.
You do.
She's still pretty damp, so we're
going to give her a nice brush out,
and use the dryer to just make her look fabulous.
On five.
Ready for glam.
Three-- she's ready.
Vogue.
Here we go.
Give me glam looks.
[music playing]
Ah, so warm.
KERRY BROWN: You did good.
JASON: Yeah, thank you.
But we've got our professional groomer here who's
been through years of school.
She's going to do the actual clippering and cutting.
Fantastic.
You're going to be the grooming arm.
All right!
KERRY BROWN: So give me-- show me your arm.
Look at you.
Perfect grooming arm. - Thank you!
Thank you.
You know, I had to go to school for a long time for this also.
KERRY BROWN: We're giving her a Mohawk first.
So we'll start with the clippers.
Oh, fantastic.
Are you ready for that?
It's just what you asked for.
KERRY BROWN: And DJ actually has fabulous lashes.
So we always make sure that we keep her eyelashes.
Her mustache-- we're going to go really tight along the sides
with the scissors.
And then we're going to keep this area
here-- that's awesome.
JASON: I like your Mohawk so far, DJ.
KERRY BROWN: It looks-- awesome.
JASON: You're looking pretty rad, pretty punk.
It's got that New York street right there.
KERRY BROWN: She's ready for her final touches.
She wanted a pop of color.
[pop noise] Pop of color.
And it's purple.
Poppin' purple.
JASON: Oh, it matches the leash.
So I'm just going to paint it in.
KERRY BROWN: Yeah.
JASON: This is going to look fabulous.
Totally fabulous.
KERRY BROWN: These are all vegetable dyes.
And that's important.
JASON: It's all edible.
In case they decide to eat it.
KERRY BROWN: They could eat it, yeah.
JASON: It's already looking pretty good.
KERRY BROWN: We're going to let this sit.
Meantime, you're going to give her a pawdicure.
"Pawdicure"?
Oh, yeah, lookin' glam.
Totally glam.
Could you believe that George is single now?
I mean, you know, he's on that weight-training program.
And I just think that he looks so good.
Am I right?
Totally glam.
KERRY BROWN: Now we're going to head to PANT Gym.
JASON: The bikini body is built in the winter, am I right?
Am I right?
Now, George, here's the thing.
We've got to talk about your weight and all the biscuits
you've been eating.
All right, come around.
We're going to put you up on the--
yeah!
He knows what's up.
KERRY BROWN: We're just start him with a slow walk, OK?
You're on the wrong size.
That's for the tiny dogs, George.
You can't be on the small one and watch the big one go.
This is not how exercise works.
This is very much the Soho workout you have going.
OK, if this is what it's going to take to lose those calories,
George, we're going to do it.
Are you ready for this?
[royal fanfare trumpets playing]
OK, George, I want to see some panting!
It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, George!
Sometimes you've got to work it and get those paws up!
I said paws, not pause!
I've seen cats that can train harder than you.
I want to see you get up and run.
This is the PANT Gym, George!
This is my gym!
We sweat here.
And if we don't sweat, we pant!
You ready to hit the showers?
Hit the showers, George.
George, showers.
George-- George, your focus level in this workout
has not been what I wanted, but I did make a new friend.
Awesome.
I think that's important.
Thanks, George.
I feel super relaxed.
I really appreciate you letting us come out and hang out.
George, where are you going?
Where you going, buddy?
It's not even over yet.
I actually think you did an awesome job today.
Really?
You can give it to me straight if you don't think I did.
The biggest thing for us is making sure that every dog
is completely loved.
And look at them.
They're, like, all over you--
I have a lot of love to give.
Look at this hair.
I did this hair, Kerry.
You nailed it.
This is one punk-rock DJ if you've ever seen one.
Am I right?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, glamor.
Once upon a time, there was an amazing television show host.
He was so smart and so handsome that all the dogs
wanted to be his friend.
He gave out the best treats, mainly because he
was so smart and so handsome.
(AUSTRIAN ACCENT) I am George.
I work out.
I feel strong every day.
Every day I do stretch.
I get down and I say, yes, today I work out,
get strong, make bikini body for the winter.
Look.
Look this way.

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