Learn Language through the song - | English exercises

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Heat. Heat.

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do D do D doable

Enter.

Excqueeze me please, lady.

Yes. What is it? I'm coming here for to

be learning the English. You're Elliot.

Oh, no. I'm Ali.

I beg your pardon? My name is Ali. Ali

Nadim. I'm coming here for to be

learning the English. Ah, yes. Yes. If

you wish to join our new class, English

as a foreign language. Yes, please. And

I'm hopping to be unrolled.

Hopping to be unrolled? Like it say in

your syllabus?

You mean hoping to be enrolled? That is

what I said. Hoping to be unrolled. Yes.

Well, I'm afraid you cannot be unrolled.

Enrolled until the English teacher

arrives. Now, she should be here in a

few minutes. In the meanwhile, perhaps

you would care to wait in the classroom.

Go down the corridor, turn left at the

bottom, and wait in room five.

Understand? No.

Well, let's start again. We go down the

corridor. Down corridor. Good. Turn

left. Turn left. Right.

You were confusing me. Left or right?

It's left. Look, you just go down the

corridor, turn left, and wait in room

five. Room five. Ah, now I'm

understanding you. Room five. Yes. Jolly

good. Thank you.

Sorry, dear Amy. I'm not going where I'm

looking. No, no, I wasn't looking where

I was going. That made the two of us.

Excuse me, sir.

Enter.

Mrs. Courtney. Miss. Ah, sorry. I'm your

new teacher, Jeremy Brown, BA Oxom.

You're a man. Yes. Well, this is most

unsatisfactory. This won't do at all. I

assure you my credentials are

impeccable. Academically, perhaps. I'm

talking about sex. I also assure you my

morals are perfectly respectable, too.

I'm referring to the fact that you are a

man. I distinctly requested the local

authority to send me a woman teacher,

especially in view of what happened with

Mr. Wbertton. Mr. Wbertton? Yes. He was

teaching English to foreign students

last term. I'm afraid he only lasted a

month. Then he departed. Dead. Demented.

Yes. The strain was too much for him.

Typical of the male sex. No stamina.

Always seemed to be able to cope at

first and then one day he just snapped.

It was really quite disgusting. Really?

What did he do? climbed out of the

classroom window onto the roof, took off

all his clothes, and stood there staff

naked, singing, "I've got a lovely bunch

of coconut."

Well, there's no need to worry on my

account. I mean, I'm not likely to climb

out of the classroom window. I know you

aren't. Oh, thank you for your

confidence. It has nothing to do with

confidence. We've had the window frames

nailed down.

Oh, very thoughtful. Well, I really

would appreciate the job, Mrs. Courtney.

Miss Courtney, I am qualified and I

rather do need a job. What with be the

economic situation and inflation? All

right, there's no need to whimper. You

can start immediately. Thank you. On a

month's trial. Thank you. If you last

that long. I'll do my best. Sir, where

will I find my students? Class 5 down

the corridor and turn. Right. I'm

looking forward to meeting them. I'm

sure we're all going to get along

extremely well.

Good evening.

Well, I'm pleased to meet you all. We

are also pleased to be meeting you.

I am Brown. Oh, no.

You are committing a mistake.

A mistake? Yes, please. You are not

brown. We are brown. You are right.

My name is Brown. I am your teacher. Ah,

you professor. Yes.

Thank you. Right. Uh, would you all like

to sit down?

Sit down.

Right. Now, just uh take a note of all

your names, nationalities, and

occupations. Right.

Yes.

Well, I have the faintest idea what

you're saying, but I'm sure you're not

trying to find the needle work club.

It doesn't matter. Have a seat.

Sit down.

No, not there.

There.

Right. I'll just go around the class and

uh take your names. Yes. Yes. What is

your name? Maximleon Andrea Archimedis

Papandre.

I think I'll just put you down as Max.

Uh take it you're Greek. Is right from

Athens. Good. And what is your job? Uh I

walk with sheeps.

You walk with sheeps?

You're a shepherd? You work on a farm?

No, no, not far. But you just said you

work with sheep. No, no, no, no. Sheeps.

Big sheeps.

Sheep. Yes. Sheeps. Tonkers.

Tonkers. Right. I woke in office.

And your name? Anna Schmidt. German

opair.

Usual German efficiency. Germans are

always efficient. Not sir.

Japanese much more efficient. Nine

Germans are the best. Japanese make a

much better television and cameos.

Please let us have no racialism in this

class. All are equal. Your name? Givani

Cupello.

Italian.

Where do you work? I work in restaurant

deop. A waiter? No, not a waiter. A

cucur

cook. See, I cook the ravioli. I cook. I

cook.

I cook everything.

A chef. Okay.

Your name Andy. What is your name?

Me Jeremy Brown. You

Max, Anna Schmidt, Giovani Capello, you

Yes. Yes. Write your name down. Good.

Good.

It's no good. I need your name in

English.

No. No.

Ah. Certificate of registration Jamila

Ranja housewife. Thank you. Good.

And your name?

I am Ali Nadim from

I am working at the moment. Not anywhere

at all.

You're unemployed? Yes, please.

Only one day a week I'm working. What do

you do then? I'm going to the

unemployment exchange

for people collecting my money. Who

blind me? I get more money for not being

working than when I'm working.

But before you discovered this secret of

eternal wealth, what did you do? Blime

me. I worked

at Tal Mahal in Delhi. Oh no. Putin

Mahali restaurant good chapati and

papadam.

A thousand apologies for my late. The

omnibus was going backwards.

I'm sure there must be a more logical

explanation. It is the absolute truth. I

was told to be taking a number 27

omnibus and I complied, but it went in a

backward direction. No, I think you

meant it was going the other way. That

is the g of what I'm saying. A thousand

apologies. Sorry. Uh, perhaps you'd like

to sit next to Ali, your countryman. I

cannot sit there. It's impossible. Why

is it impossible? I am sick. Oh dear.

It's not contagious. Perhaps you want to

come back when you're better. I do not

comprehend the gist of your

conversation. You said you were sick.

No, no, no, no, no. I am not referring

to my physical state of mind. How do you

feel about Roman Catholics? Oh, I treat

them like my brothers. Good. Well, you

can go and sit next to Giovani then in

gentlemen please. You're here to learn

English not start a holy war. And what

is your name? Ranjit Singh. Sing. And

you're from which country? Punjab. And

what is your job? I am a very important

member of the British underground.

Underground? What?

Just the underground. Mind the door.

That under.

And your name? Pero Nagasumi.

My name Card

Japanese representative of Bushida

Electronics. Very good. Very good.

And finally, Yav.

What is your name?

No need to ask what nationality you are.

Spanish.

What is your job?

Tree lagger. Tree lagger. But you like

trees.

One hinton. Two whiskey coaga.

Three laggers. See? Oh, you work in a

bar. C. Bar. Well, Mr. Brown. Yes. Thank

you. Apart from one attempted murder and

a possible race riot, I seem to be

coping reasonably well. Well, what I

really came to inform you about was the

registration fees for the students. Now,

it's £5 per head, and I should be

grateful if you would collect the money

and bring it to my office in your tea

break. Right, I'll do that. Well, we

have one thing to be grateful for

anyway. Sex won't be rearing its ugly

little head. Beg your pun? Well, in my

experience, it isn't race or religion

that causes the problems. It's usually

the presence of some foreign beauty.

Jealousies, intrigues, all that sort of

thing. Yes, for looking at my class, I

don't think we'll be too bothered with

anything like that.

I come to learn English. Have I come to

the right place?

Enter.

Mrs. Courtney. Miss. Miss. I've just

brought the registration fees for the

students. Ah, good. Now, how many

students have it? Nine. So, there should

be £45 in there. Well, that all depends

upon the rate of exchange. I don't

not all of them had uh £5 in English

money. So I collected £2950 in sterling

and the rest is made up of 2,000 yen

3,000 LAR

250 beta 75 drama 50 Franks and 12

Deutsch marks according to this

morning's financial papers that should

give us a profit of 142p.

Then I suggest you take it to the bank

in the morning and convert it to English

currency. Right, I'll do that. Oh, by

the way, how's the fem fatal? Ah, yes,

Danielle. Well, at the moment she's in

the tea room with Italy, Spain, and

Greece trying to establish diplomatic

relations.

Well, I hope she's not going to cause

any bother. Oh, no. I'm sure she won't.

Look, I'm going to sit here. Nah, is it

me who is going to be sitting here?

Before you, we're sit over there. And

before you, we're sit over there. You

take it on me. Who? Me? You go back. Sit

where you were before. No, I sit here.

You're not sit here. Who's going to be

stopping me? Me.

Yourself. You think you're tough? Come

out aside.

Okay.

Where you going? We go outside to have

it a punch down. You mean a punch? I'm

going to uh how you say yes. Knock his

bloody block off.

We see whose bloody blocker is not.

Just a minute. What is all this about? I

tell you, Mr. White Brown. Excuse.

It's about where we sit. What's wrong

with where you were sitting before? It's

my eyes, Professor. I've got to sit near

at the front

here.

I see. And I suppose it's got nothing to

do with the fact that Danielle is

sitting here too. She is.

I never noticed.

You see, in my eyes, I'm a little

shorttered.

And also I'm much a bigger liar. It's

not true, Mr. Green. The name is Brown.

You see, I'm a color blade as well.

And Max, I suppose you've got trouble

with your eyes as well, have you? No,

no, no, no. My eyes are okay. It's my

ears.

I'm not hearing very well. That's a

likely story.

What you say?

I say you both go back and sit where you

were sitting before. Now, Santa Maria,

I hope you don't think I was uh, how you

say, too forward.

No, no, I'm sure you weren't in any way

to blame at all.

Teacher, please,

Mr. Blown. Yes.

Please forgive my rapess. I apologize,

but I lost my way. Not to worry. Uh,

what is your name? Chung Suli. Suli. And

where are you from? Democratic Republic

of China.

And what is your job? Secretary, Chinese

diplomat.

Very nice.

Right. Where should we put you? Uh,

Taro, how are relations between Japan

and China?

depends on a political

wheel pointer.

Japan

light wingo

China

raft to wingo. I see. Are you lightwingo

or left winger? Right or left? I for

teaching of chairman ma. Ah well in that

case you better sit next to Jamila the

Indian lady. All right. Thank you.

Right. Now we will start by learning a

few basic English verbs and firstly we

will take the verb to be.

I am English. You are Chinese. He is

Italian.

She is French. He is barbarian.

And you are asking for a kick up your

big brown backside. Hello. Pay attention

please.

I am I am You are You are He she or it

is. He or he

We are. We are. You are.

They are. They are. All right.

I shall now go around the class and ask

you each to give me a sentence using the

verb to be. To be to be tarot. I am ah

so

I am

very happy to be learning go.

Very good.

Good. Giovani, he is

he is a fool.

Good. But not Isa. He is a fool. Yes, he

is a fool.

Max, uh, she is.

She is beautiful.

She is wonderful.

She is Yes. Yes. Thank you, Max.

Juan, it is

It is

It is raining.

We'll skip you for the moment.

uh doesn't matter. Sit down.

Suli it is.

It is duty of every citizen to overthrow

imperial war. So say chairman mouse.

Yes. Well, that's his opinion. Good.

Danielle, we are

uh we are lucky

to have such good

very true. I mean uh

Ali,

you are

you are waiting for me to speak an

answer.

Well done. And unfortunately I'm not

understanding the question.

I want you to give me a sentence using

you are. I am

No, not I am. You are. For example, you

are from Pakistan. I am from Pakistan.

You Yes. But now use you are. But I

cannot say you are from Pakistan because

you are not. Are you?

Repeat after me. You are English. No.

No. I am from Pakistan. What am I? You

are confusing me.

You are. You mean poof.

Don't you call me poop.

Sit down.

Sit down, please. Right.

And there's really not much more we can

do. Can you all get the textbooks I was

telling you about? What I would would

like you to do is some homework. All

right. I want you to write me an essay.

A short story about your life here in

England. things you do, the things you

like.

And I'll see you all on Wednesday.

Oh, Mrs. Miss Miss

Well, I've just dismissed the class for

the night. I think we've just about

covered all there is to for the first

session. You look a trifle under the

weather. Job getting you down already?

Well, no, no, I'm fine. Never felt

better. There is just one thing, though.

Yes. That window you nailed down, the

one Mr. Walbertton climbed out of. What

about it? I think we ought to put a few

more nails in just be on the safe side.

Heat. Heat.

Heat.

Please choose the correct answer for each question below: