Learn Language through the song - | English exercises

Translate:

- Before I begin, I must stress

that I'm trained in couples therapy.

- Duh. That's why we hired you.

- But you two aren't a couple, correct?

You're just friends?

- Yes, Gary. God! - Keep up.

- Okay.

Why don't the two of you tell me

why we're all here, especially me?

- Gary, will you let us just talk?

- It's okay. Ian.

I'll begin.

[sighs] Okay.

It all started this morning

outside the storage room.

[harp music]

- Wait! No, no, I wanted to do the flashback music.

- All right, fine. Whatever.

- Okay.

It all started this morning

outside the storage room.

[harp music]

We were having the same conversation

we always have.

- So where do you want to go for dinner after work?

- I don't know. What do you feel like?

- I feel like I want you to decide for once.

- Okay, Chinese.

- No, you know I hate Chinese!

- Well, don't ask what I want

if you don't want to know the answer.

But then things got weird.

[all screaming]

[laughing]

[dramatic beat]

- I was really upset.

- Sure, walking in on employees disrespecting your space

would be upsetting to anyone.

- What? No, that part was fine.

I was upset because Ian and I

just don't find the same things funny anymore.

- How could you not find that utterly hilarious?

- I don't know. It just didn't grab me.

- Gary...

you have to help us get our spark back.

- Please.

[playful music]

- [man singing] This is America

Land of dreams

Everyone can climb higher

- [women singing] Not you, though

You're stuck here

'Cause you're a part-timer, yeah

- [man singing] You can do anything

- [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

- [man singing] And you can go anywhere

- [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

- [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

- [woman singing] Come on, that's not who you are

- [man singing] You're a part-timer

Cursed with full-time dreams

And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

Bad as it seems

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

Whoa

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

Oh

Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

- So you guys don't find the same things funny.

That's okay.

Lots of couples outgrow each other's senses of humor.

- We don't want to hear about you and your wife, Gary.

- Yeah, ew.

- I wasn't--

never mind.

Let's try to find some common ground.

Anton, what makes you laugh?

- I don't know.

I guess...

Okay, you know those posters

with a cat hanging on a clothesline

with a caption that reads, "Hanging in there"?

[both laughing]

- Oh, wonderful stuff.

Ian, are you seeing the humor here?

- No.

The only thing that's worse than a cat in a poster

is you two right now.

- Let's try to keep it positive, Ian, okay?

Why don't you share something that you find funny?

- Okay, sure, yeah. Gee, let me think.

Uh, Pete naked playing beauty shop

with Mads' hair.

[harp music]

- Stop laughing, dude!

We were nervous about our first kiss.

- So we decided to get more comfortable

but helping each other get over our worst fears.

- Aw. That makes sense.

- Pete is helping me get comfortable

with another person touching my hair.

- Yeah, and Mads is helping me get comfortable

being naked in front of a girl.

- Aw, Pete,

you're way lamer than I thought.

- Dude, shut up.

I think it's sweet.

- [spits with laughter]

- Leave us alone!

- Yeah, you're so... insensitive, man.

Body issues are real.

- Body iss-- [laughing]

You're so skinny!

Oh! Oh!

- [laughing hysterically]

[harp music]

[laughing]

Oh, now, that's what I call comedy.

- This therapy sucks. I'm going back to the past.

- Ian? Ian!

Put the harp down, Ian.

Let's stay in the present so we can work this out.

- The present sucks.

There's no naked hair play here.

- Now, I'm going to throw some funny things out there,

and you guys can giggle

whenever something tickles your fancy.

[laughing]

Ahhhh.

How about some physical comedy?

I'm going into the basement.

- Yeah, that's only funny 'cause of what you're wearing.

- Is it, though?

Or is it funny because

there's no basement door down here?

Ha ha!

I can't hear laughter.

- This guy's the worst. - Seriously.

- Okay, there's no need to be rude.

- Oh, sorry, I thought you were in the basement.

- Ian, why don't you just finish telling your story?

- Now? - Go on without me.

I threw out my back.

- Finally.

[harp music]

Pete and Mads went looking for some privacy.

So, naturally, I followed them.

- Stop spying on them.

They're having a nice moment.

At least someone around here should.

- What's that supposed to mean? - Oh, I don't know.

I started working out two weeks ago,

and you didn't even notice.

- Uh, yeah, that's 'cause I don't see you naked?

And besides, you're one to talk.

You totally missed our friendiversary last month.

- Oh, yeah? And what would we have done?

Gone to get Chinese food even though you know I hate it?

- Okay, look, I can't help it if my palate

is a little more sophisticated than yours.

- Oh, so now you're better than me?

- Shut up!

- See, you used to talk to me with respect.

- No, I mean, like, be quiet for a second.

I think they're about to do the tongue-dango.

They're--they're about to kiss?

- Um...so...

- Uh, you think it's gonna rain?

- Are you serious right now?

Why aren't you kissing me?

- I'm nervous.

I say trivial weather stuff when I'm nervous.

- I have an idea.

Why don't we pretend to be other people?

Then we won't have to be so nervous

about our first kiss.

- Yeah. Good.

You know who I want you to be?

- Who?

- JK Rowling.

Hot!

- Um, 'kay.

[clears throat]

And who would that make you, sir?

- Well, if you're the famous author,

that makes me...

Your publisher.

- Ooh, am I on a really tight deadline?

- The tightest.

And, you know, if I don't get your pages soon,

I might just have to take back your three-book deal

and your advance.

- Ooh, I love the pressure.

- Oh, me too.

[soft music]

- JK Rowling? Ha!

Dude, your sexual fantasy is so not freaky,

it's freaky.

- Ugh!

[with British accent] I can't get any writing done in here.

You'll have to find a place more private.

[in regular voice] Oh, and when you do,

bring that beard.

You know which one.

- Well, excuse me, gentlemen.

Seems there's a book that needs some publishing,

and I'm the only guy for the job.

- Aw.

Did you see how much they like being around each other?

- What?

Okay, how are you not finding this hilarious?

[harp music]

Anton: And that's when we decided

to hire a good therapist.

- But they were all booked, so we settled for you.

- The feeling is mutual.

Let's try one more exercise

before we throw in the towel

and I never, ever come back again.

- Okay. - Good.

- I'll re-create a moment of conflict,

and we'll play out a resolution

that was better than what happened.

[dramatic music]

Now, I'm Pete, and this is Mads.

How does that make you feel?

- [laughs]

- I feel like this doesn't remind me of Pete or Mads,

and now I'm gonna need therapy for this therapy.

- What are you talking about? This is hilarious, man.

- This might be working for you, but it's not doing it for me.

- Don't worry, Ian. Now it's your turn.

Anton, I would break this over your head,

but the board of California prohibits me

from hand-to-hand combat with patients.

- But nudity is allowed?

- I don't make the rules, Ian.

You'll have to do it. - What?

- Go ahead, Ian.

It's the only way you'll empathize

with why Anton was laughing at your head wound.

- Okay, I take it back.

This therapist is awesome. Rock on, Gare.

- How is any of this supposed to help?

- Anton, let the healing in.

- I'm gonna heal the shit out of you!

- No! - Get back here!

- No. [plate shatters]

[Gary moaning]

[both laughing]

- Oh! - Talk about a head case.

- Hey-oh! [both laughing]

And look at that.

We're laughing at the same thing.

- We're back, man.

Wow, Gary. You're a great therapist.

- Yeah, I mean, I still hate you but less,

which is an important step for me.

[romantic music]

- Finally, some privacy.

You found your beard.

- [giggles] Yeah.

I ran all the way home.

I know how much you like it.

- [with British accent] So are you ready

to collect my draft, Mr. Random House?

[both laughing]

Okay, beard fantasy is officially over.

- Mm-hmm.

- You know what?

We don't need to hide behind anything anymore.

I love you, Pete.

- I love you too.

- Give me that beard.

- Here, just kind of rip hard.

- All right. - Yeah.

- [grunting] - Ah.

- Ah! - Mads!

- [screams]

[thud] - Mads!

- I'm okay!

I landed on a pile of car wash rags.

- [sighs]

[engine roaring]

[tires screeching]

- Noooooooo!

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