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Please choose the correct answer for each question below:
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- Do you wish your daughter was dating
a chubby, old polygraph guy?
- Yes.
- Hey!
- All right, she's good.
- Today I'm going to be
doing a lie detector test
on my step-mom.
I'm kinda nervous, but I
think it's gonna be funny.
- I'm most excited to know
if she's really a rebel.
- We'll see.
- Whaa!
- I'm honest with my son.
- Honestly, I have no idea.
Define honest.
- We do share some deep secrets.
I consider my mother my best friend.
- Sometimes I think we talk too much
because I feel like he
forgets that I'm the parent.
- Ask me some questions.
- Well that's what we're
here to do today Father.
- Did you do track in high-school?
- Mmhmm.
- True.
- We both did track, that's so cool.
I thought you were just sayin' that
to like, make me like, like you more.
- Do you wish I would dress more feminine.
- No.
- It's a lie.
(laughing)
- I do like dressing more
masculine than feminine.
- I know that.
- Is Kenny your real name?
- Yes.
- True.
- Was it your idea for
my dad to cut his hair?
Or was it his?
Literally he has had long hair
for as long as I can remember.
- Would you ever do an edible with me?
- Yes.
- True.
- You know what, your
dad is getting older.
He said it first
and I told him no.
John will tell you.
- She's havin' a problem here.
(laughs)
- So, it was your idea.
- I was prepping you to be on my side.
- Would you ever let me shave my head?
- Si.
- That's a lie.
(laughing)
- What if I wanna shave my head
and just wear wigs all the time?
- Hey Dad, do you have a favorite son?
- No.
- That's a lie.
- Is it me?
- Yes.
- That's the truth.
- Don't show this to your brother.
- Did you really meet my
dad at the grocery store?
Or was it the booze cruise.
- Did I meet him on the booze cruise?
No.
- It's a lie.
- I knew it!
- I don't think this works.
- Dad.
- Yes.
- Do you think I'll ever find love?
- Yes.
- Not true.
- Come on du ...
- Do you think I'll ever find lust?
- Mother, would you ever use a vibrator?
- Yes.
- True.
- Let's go shop for one.
- Did you have sexual
relations before the age of 18?
- No.
- True.
- Oh Dad.
- I'm a nerd, what do you want from me?
- Was I an accident?
- No.
- Right on.
- (laughing) That is so cool.
- That time that you came over to
my biological mom's house,
was that really awkward,
or was that just me?
- We actually met before
you thought we met.
Yes, it was awkward.
- She's telling the truth.
- Have you and Mom ever done anything
while I was in the house?
- No.
- That's a lie.
- Ho ho!
- Be more specific.
- Oh shit, I don't wanna be more specific.
(laughing)
- Would you ever let me bring over a girl.
- Yes.
- True.
- Cool, 'cause I'm actually
talking to one right now.
- There you go.
- And she's fun.
- Have you ever had an affair?
- No.
- True.
- Let's go!
That's all I needed to
hear, I'm outta here.
- Where we goin'?
- We just took our lie detector tests
and we found out that my
father here is a loyal husband
and that I'm his favorite son.
So I think it's been a great day.
- I know my mom more now.
And she's still beautiful as she is.
- I'm glad I got this off my chest.
I'm tired of just holdin' it in.
- What about that booze cruise.
- Oh yeah, I didn't
wanna tell you that part.
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