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[suspenseful music]
Alright, everything's back in order now, after Hurricane Bootsy blew this place to bits.
[canned laughter]
Who's laughing?
[laughter]
That wasn't even funny!
- Here's your table.
- Ah!
Where'd you come from?
- I've been here, I've been helping you clean up.
- Oh right, thanks.
- Well, I gotta go.
- Oh come on, let's uh, play another game.
- I gotta go, uh... wash my hair...
[laughter]
Oh come on, just one more game!
Full House!
- They made a game based on Full House? How's that possible?
Board James: Because anything popular can be immortalized in cardboard, I don't know!
It was made by Tiger, the same company that made the handheld electronic version of Full House.
For some reason, Full House was such a big show.
Remember every Friday night? If you weren't going to the video store to rent a movie,
you and your family would be stting around the living room watching TGIF.
The TV marathon with Full House, Family Matters...
- Perfect Strangers, Step By Step.
- Yeah, you remember TGIF. Yeah.
Bad Luck Bootsy: (singing) Friday Night, and the mood is right...
[applause]
Gonna have some fun, show you how it's done, TGIF!
Board James: Oh come on, Bootsy, how can you just barge into somebody's house like that?
- Don't you ever knock?
I looked in the window to make sure no one was in their underwear. [canned laughter]
Both: He sucks his own dick. [canned laughter]
[video game spring sounds]
Board James: The object of the game is to drive around town looking for all the 6 members of the family and bring them back home.
They might be at the movie theater, the mall, the school...
It's like a collection of all the different places from your childhood.
Roll a die, move your car, and when you land on a place, you draw one card.
When you find Danny, Jesse, D.J., Stephanie, Michelle, and Becky and the Twins...
You bring them back to the house, so it's a full hand of cards.
- Like a Full House!
- Yeah, it's a fucking Full House!
- That's so stupid...
Board James: If you land on a Joey Joke space, you draw a Joey Joke card...
You tell the joke and then you get an extra turn.
- Why do we have to tell the joke? Can't I just take the extra turn?
- 'Cause that's how the game's played, it says...
"As a reward for your joke, you immediately get another turn."
"I was pretty crazy in the 70's, now I can get crazy at any temperature."
[canned laughter]
Board James: To say, these jokes are not funny at all..
"I love working in television, but they're getting so small and the wires get in the way."
- [laughing] Oh my God, you gotta be kidding me.
Board James: "My dad had good advice when I was a kid, I'd get real crazy at times,
"and he said 'Don't get carried away, you'll have to walk back.'"
Bad Luck Bootsy: [strange noises]
Aah, what do you know, another one.
"My mom is such a bad cook, we'd say grace after dinner!" [laughs]
What do you know? Can't help but keep landing on these joke spaces.
"I got fired from my factory job, my boss didn't like me coming in late, I told him I was trying to cut down on my mistakes."
- I don't remember jokes from the show ever being this bad.
Whatever happened to the humor from the show?
What about...
"Is it made of wood?"
- "You got it, dude!"
- Oh my lanta.
- "Cut it out."
- "Duuuh."
- Oh nuts..
- Agagagaga!
- "You're in big trouble, mister!"
- Oh, please.
- "Have mercy."
- "How rude!"
- "Not the haiiir."
- "Will you stifle yourself, heh?"
- Enough! Enough! I can't take the laugh tracks anymore!
Alright, well, you wanna play another game? Keeping in tradition with the TGIF marathon...
Dinosaurs!
MotherFucker Mike: TGIF? Dinosaurs isn't a show I think about when I think of TGIF.
Oh, they changed the schedule a bunch of times, but it was on there!
- Yeah, on there for like 2 minutes.
- Aaah, I've never even watched it.
- Well, fuck you guys then.
Here's one that everybody knows!
Steve Urkel from Family Matters in Do The Urkel!
Everybody knows Urkel, he was my hero, I looked up to Urkel!
- That's because you're such a nerd.
Board James: The object of the game is to be the first player to collect eight halves of bowtie cards to make four bowties.
MotherFucker Mike: Bowties? Why do you got to collect bowties?
Board James: Because Urkel wears bowties.
- Why isn't it cheese or anything?
- I don't know guys, can we just play the fucking game!?
To get bowties, you set them up in this 4-sided tray and roll the die.
You take whichever bowtie the arrows are facing.
Turn them around and you might have to perform an action.
- "Laugh and Snort", Can't I just take it?
Do I really have to laugh and snort?
- You gotta do it, that's how you play the game.
Alright.
Heeheeheeheehee! [snorts]
Bad Luck Bootsy: "Sing the Urkel Song"?
I don't know the words, how does that go?
Board James: It's in the box, sing it.
Bad Luck Bootsy: [rapping] Now if you wanna do the Steve Urkel dance,
all you have to do is hitch up your pants,
bend your knees and stick out your pelvis,
I'm telling you, baby, it's better than Elvis!
Board James: "Imitate Urkel."
[imitating Urkel] "Anybody got any cheese?"
Bad Luck Bootsy: "Hike up your pants?"
- Hike up the damn pants.
- You have to do it! We're playing by the rules, hike 'em up!
- Alright.
[groaning]
Another one?
- More, more!
- Hike those pants up!
Gotta hike up the pants. Hike up the pants!
Bad Luck Bootsy: Another one!?
MotherFucker Mike: Up, up, up, up...
Board James: Hike up your pants! You cunt face fucking shithead, fuckface!
Asshole! Bitch fucking shithead fuckface!
- [laughing]
Bad Luck Bootsy: [high-pitched groaning]
Board James: Yeah, oh, oh God, ahh...
Board James: If you get a Do the Urkel card, you can play it against another player and make them do the Urkel.
You gotta do the Urkel.
- So I have to dance?
Board James: Not exactly, according to these instructions, you're supposed to put on this Steve Urkel finger puppet...
...and dance your fingers around on these numbered spaces.
That's not all, you're also supposed to wear these cardboard glasses, so that you can't see anything.
[canned laughter]
- You like these glasses, don't ya?
They'd suit you!
- No, they wouldn't.
Instructions say, you stop dancing at any time, look at the numbered area that each finger is touching...
..Take the higher of the two numbers and return that number of bowtie cards to the bottom of the deck.
Bad Luck Bootsy: Eh, heh! This is great, lemme try that, lemme try that!
I don't know where I'm going, I'm dancin' now, I'm dancin'
Board James: No, no, no, watch it, watch it!
What's going on? I can't see! I'm blind!
I can't see! I can't see!
Help me! I can't see!
Mm, did I do that?
- I can't stand the laughter, why, God, does it keep laughing...
STOP! I can't take any more!
Why is it all have got to be laugh, laugh! Laugh! Tell me when to laugh! Ha ha ha! HA HA!
Tell me when to laugh! [maniacal laughter]
[sobbing]
- James, James, James, James, what's the matter, what's the matter?
- Yeah, James. If something's bothering you, you can tell us.
- I, uh.. just don't know what the point of all the laughter is.
- I know how you feel, but...
laughter is a big part of human nature.
- Hearing laughter creates the illusion that...
..other people are there.
- It makes you feel like you're a part of a group.
- Without it, you feel alone...
..you don't like feeling alone, right?
- I'm not alone, I have friends.
- You don't have any friends.
- You don't need to pretend...
It's okay not to have any friends.
- Hey! Stop touching my balls!
Hey, where'd all the balls go, you have all the-
HEY! You asshole!
You guys are my friends, guys? Guys!?
Caption credits:
Raihan A. (BluB0x)
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