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Translate:
Well, I have exciting news.
My wife is pregnant.
Oh, that's exciting.
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you.
We're having a baby and I'm very excited about being
a dad in the near future.
I got one of these, I don't know if you've seen this.
This is the fruit of the womb calendar.
It's a calendar, every week it lets
you know how big your baby is by comparing it
to a different fruit, right?
Week 10, strawberry, which is great.
It also lets you know what fruit you're
going to feel very weird eating that week.
This week, she is 22 weeks pregnant.
So the baby's the size of a coconut, which is crazy.
Yeah.
Cup your hands like you're holding a coconut.
All righty.
Yeah, closer.
Like right over here.
OK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, perfect.
That's great.
Nice.
That's how big my boy is.
[APPLAUSE]
Now, you are holding him with so much care.
I know.
Which I appreciate.
Yeah.
And this is a true story, we'll put him right there.
He's a hard headed boy.
We don't have a name picked out yet for him.
We've been, we're very indecisive.
So I got my wife to agree to this,
and that is that we're going to let the Ellen audience, today,
name our baby boy.
If you think you have a good name, raise your hand.
And, oh gosh.
This girl in the aisle, stand up.
Me?
Yeah, you.
And then, girl in the purple shirt, stand up.
You know your audience better than me.
Which one of these two ladies here?
Between those two?
Yeah, who do you think has a, who should I trust to name my--
I don't know.
No pressure, it'll only be my son's name forever.
You started with her, so I'll go with the one you picked first.
OK.
You can sit down.
Sorry about that.
You can name my second child.
OK.
Hi.
Hi.
What is your name?
I'm Allie.
Hello Allie, how are you?
Good how are you?
Are you a real person?
I am.
OK.
We're not friends?
No.
Facebook friends?
No.
Twitter?
No.
Look how adamant she is, no.
She's like, I will not follow you.
OK.
This is my son.
I'm Justin, my wife's name is Jill.
What should my son's name be?
That's Jackson.
OK.
Jackson.
Thank you, you can take a seat.
[APPLAUSE]
Jackson Willman.
Ellen, do you happen to have a cutting board?
No.
Ellen,
Yes?
Do you happen to have a hammer?
No.
Yes.
[LAUGHTER]
OK, this is a coconut, not my baby.
All right?
But I feel like this is important.
Inside the coconut is a baby onesie and there is one
name embroidered on it.
Oh my god.
Jackson.
[APPLAUSE]
Wow.
It's meant to be.
It's meant to be.
And you have one more trick for us.
I do.
And there's a person from the audience.
There's a person.
So on my show, Magic For Humans, which on Netflix, we
have a segment, which I love, it's called Magic For Susans.
Where I do magic for a woman who happens to be named Susan.
And lo and behold, I'm Justin, you are?
I'm Susan.
We found a Susan!
Woo!
So we're gonna do Magic for Susan, Ellen edition.
OK.
Susan, imagine you're in a grocery store,
you're buying cereal, think of a cereal.
OK.
Got it.
I have a prediction, what cereal are you thinking of?
Frosted Flakes.
Frosted Flakes?
Yeah.
OK.
I knew you were going to say Frosted Flakes, because I have
one cereal and one cereal only.
And that happens to be, what are you laughing at?
There's several in there.
Frosted Flakes.
Oh, yeah.
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you.
Wow, how'd you do that?
Yeah, I bet there's more in there.
That's the easy way, but I did it the hard way.
I do have another Frosted Flakes.
Yes, yeah.
Oh.
They're all Frosted Flakes, Ellen, come on.
[APPLAUSE]
Oh my gosh.
It's a Susan thing, we wouldn't understand.
Ellen, you play cards right?
I do.
OK.
Pick a finger.
OK.
Just touch the back of one for me.
And take it, show that people.
Show it right at the camera there.
Cool four of hearts, fantastic.
[LAUGHTER] It's OK if I see, it's OK if I see.
I'm going to give you a souvenir here.
I'm going to tear off the corner, Ellen,
and when you just hold that for me in your left hand.
We'll take what's left of the four of hearts,
we'll place it here.
This is going to be a Susan, Ellen connection here.
You two have never met before.
We have not.
Hi, Susan.
Hold the card box flat in your hand like that.
Hold the cereal box flat in your hand like that.
OK.
Ready?
It's done.
It's done?
It's done.
The card has turned to Frosted Flakes.
Which means that inside the box, tear it open.
Maybe.
You can do it, Susan.
You can do it.
Pull out the bag, show them the bag.
You'll see that inside the bag there is, you see it?
Oh a card!
There's a card.
Tear it out, tear it out, tear it out.
This is the big moment.
Right near the mic, so it sounds really
great for everybody at home.
It's perfect.
OK.
Yes, reach in, hold the corner up, Ellen.
Hold on, it's missing a corner.
Wow.
We did it.
Magic for Susans!
[APPLAUSE]
Wow.
Thank you.
Very nice meeting you.
That's unbelievable.
Justin's show, Magic for Humans is streaming on Netflix now.

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