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♪
I'm becoming
a corporate yes man.
I'm like, yes,
Mr. George Bush.
Whatever you say,
Mr. George Bush.
What?
I know, I know.
Dick Cheney,
go easy on me, dude.
Before I know it,
I'm gonna wake up and be 23
and my life's gonna
be behind me.
You know that
I'm 25, right?
Abbi, you are ageless.
That's a different
thing.
Okay.
Okay, so what's this thing
you're doing tonight?
Okay, so remember my hot
rich friend from NYU, Parker?
Yeah.
So she invited me to this,
like, SoHo rooftop party
and I know you're not gonna
want to go, but I have to,
I need this.
No, no, no,
I want to go.
I'm in.
Really?
Yeah, I wanna go.
Oh, my God, I thought
I'd have to go through
a whole rigamarole
to get you to--
No, no, no.
That's dope, dude.
Perfect opportunity to
introduce, like, the new me.
Yeah.
No more
Mr. Nice Abbi,
no more--no more cleaning
up other people's pubes.
And, you know,
getting screwed by people
that end up not
having cancer.
No, I'm stepping--
I am stepping it up.
From here on out,
I am stepping it up.
If anyone's gonna pretend
like they have cancer,
it's gonna be me.
You know what?
I look too nice.
You look really
nice, yeah.
No, I look
like vanilla.
Oh.
Let's go shopping.
♪
First one's fine,
I think.
Yeah.
Your ass looks
incredible.
Okay.
And your head
and body, too.
Thanks.
But we all know who's
the star of the show here.
Ilana.
That'll be $438.
That's real.
There.
You know what?
It's good.
This is a great day.
Let me ask you
a quick question.
What is your
return policy?
It's 30 days.
I will see you
in 30 days, then.
Bitch!
You still need to
sign the receipt.
I would love
to do that.
Sorry about that
communication mishap.
Okay.
♪
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