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- I know it says here
that we already tried
throwing Tahani under the bus,
but maybe we should
revisit that.
Throw her a little bit harder.
Maybe under a bigger bus.
What do you think?
- I think this is pointless.
We're trapped in
a warped version of
Nietzsche's eternal recurrence.
- Oh, cool, more philosophy.
That'll help us.
- Well, don't you see
the problem?
We are experiencing karma,
but we can't learn from our
mistakes, because our memories
keep getting erased.
It's an epistemological
nightmare.
- Ugh, even your nightmares
are boring.
- You--you are so mean,
Eleanor.
You're just like
those childhood bullies
who said I would never
get tenure.
- And you are so irritating!
In one of these reboots,
I probably strangled you
and then went to the Even Worse
Place, but you know what?
I bet it was worth it.
- Oh, nice.
- Ugh!
Sorry, can I just vent to you
for a second?
Chidi is so annoying.
I just--I cannot believe that
he is the one
I'm stuck here with.
- Uh-huh, wow, crazy.
- Oh, sorry.
Jeez, man, I thought you could
be human for, like,
two seconds and listen to me.
- I have, Eleanor.
I have listened to you
talk about Chidi 15 times
in 15 different ways.
Let me just cut to the chase.
You two, you got it bad
for each other.
- No, we don't.
Chidi's just a friend.
What am I saying?
He's not even a friend.
He's just a weird teacher
that I hate.
Dude, I do not want to watch
"Cannonball Run 2" right now.
All right, what happened in the
first one, so I'm all caught up?
I don't know
what's gonna happen to us,
but I need to tell you
something.
I love you.
And you don't need to respond
'cause I know
you have trouble
saying how you feel--
- I love you too.
- [scoffs]
Very funny, but that--that's
obviously not real.
- Oh, that's real, baby.
That's real nasty.
Yeah, this was, like, the
sixth time you guys were here.
I saw you getting sexy
the previous three times,
so I cut a little hole in
the wall so I could tape you.
Call it my lookin' hole.
- Is that a camera?
- Mindy, you pervert!
How many times have
Chidi and I slept together?
- 8 different days, but,
like, 20 different sessions.
- And how many times
did we say... that stuff?
- Oh, only once.
Oh, God, I hated it.
It, like, really
killed the vibe for me.
See, after I watch the porno
I made starring you,
I watch you talk about
your feelings to cool down.
It's, like, anti-porn.
- I've only ever said
"I love you"
to two men my entire life,
Stone Cold Steve Austin
and a guy in a dark club
who I mistook
for Stone Cold Steve Austin.
I mean, why would you
show me that?
- I don't know.
You guys are, like,
trapped here together.
I feel bad.
You know, I'm rooting
for you guys.
- No, there is no "us guys."
We basically
just met each other.
- No, Eleanor.
You guys have known each other
a really long time.
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