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- [Sarah] He's so cute.
- [Paul] I'm so glad we got him.
- I know, he loves it here.
(Paul laughs)
I think I'm gonna take
him for a walk before bed.
- Sure.
- OK.
(calm piano music)
Come on.
- Sarah, it's me, it's me from the future.
Oh my God, Sarah, I
have no time to explain,
but you cannot walk that dog.
If you walk that dog,
something terrible's gonna happen.
- OK, I won't!
- Thank you.
(dramatic music)
- You look so sad.
- I...
- Wait, now it's worse.
- What's worse?
What's going on?
- The thing, it gets worse.
- What's the thing?
- You dump me.
- What? Why?
- I don't know.
You seemed happy.
We told each other everything.
We made our own "Make Your Own" pizzas.
I got it, let's try this.
What if Paul walks the dog?
- OK.
- Alright, great, please try that.
Please do that.
I love you.
(dramatic music)
Now you won't even answer my texts.
How old are we?
- I don't know, how future are you?
- Yeah, how future are you?
- I don't understand.
I'm happy, why would I do this?
Do you cheat on me?
- No no, God no.
You said you needed a change,
and next thing I know you're out
with some guy named Bao Fong.
(calm guitar music)
- Who's Bao Fong?
- I don't know.
(Bao Fong laughs)
Woah.
- What are you "woah"-ing?
- It's just very future.
- [Future Sarah] I love you.
- I don't mean to sound
like the jealous ex,
but I do not like that man.
- You know, I thought the same thing,
but he's actually pretty great.
I mean, he's so romantic.
Oh, you should show her the book.
- But...
- Do it.
(romantic harp music)
- Right before I go to sleep
I write one sentence about why I love you.
I've done it every day since we met.
- Paul!
- Yes!
Sarah, I will see you at home.
Oh and Paul, thanks.
- You gotta kill the dog.
- Come on.
- [Sarah] No!
- I don't know, if that
notebook thing didn't work,
then it's gotta be the dog.
I mean, everything's fine before the dog.
The dog's the fork.
That's the fork.
- Isn't there--
- No, if you don't do this,
you will be alone.
- I love Sarah,
I mean of course I love Sarah,
but there must be someone else
I could be happy with.
- No, there is no one.
There are 100 Bao Fongs,
but we will always be alone.
- [Sarah] Is that a ring?
Enhance!
- No, no, no.
Computer.
- [Furture Sarah] You're so much better--
- Can you shut that off?
- [Future Sarah] You're so much better,
you're so much better, you're so much...
I love you.
- Great.
- Come on, man, you gotta kill that dog.
(dog whines)
- Maybe this is why things don't work out.
An animal we just got
is more important to you
than our entire relationship.
- Wow.
- Do you even know how
much you mean to me?
- I'm the one who's traveling
through time for you.
- I'm not talking about this dweeb.
I'm talking about you.
Right now.
- So what, I kill the dog,
and then we're at back at last week
when you were complaining
about how lonely you are.
- You realize you're saying
this next to tuxedo boy.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
- You deserve better than this.
- We both do.
- Alright, two things,
the time machine I was using,
it's really broken.
Second, is heroin legal yet
'cause I am addicted to heroin.
♫ Time ♫
- Hey, I'm Paul, thanks for watching
that very real documentary about my life.
If you could time travel,
what's the first thing you'd do?
Let me know in the comments.
Also, subscribe for more videos,
and say hey on Facebook,
Instagram, and Twitter.
I'm really excited to announce that
I just took a full time job making videos
at the Huffington Post,
so you're definitely gonna be seeing
a lot more from me soon.
Or should I say, the future
you is gonna be seeing
stuff from present me, but in the future.
But it won't be in the future,
it'll be past,
and I'm very confused.
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